The Point - Worst Sex Scenes
Valentine's day approaches, so what better time to remind ourselves of just how sleazy and unromantic video games can be? Here are the top five worst sex scenes in video games.
by Andy Bauman on
I am a mature woman. I am a mature woman. I am- OH MY GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS AHAHAHA. *laughs through entire video* Should probably put a spoiler alert for Far Cry 3, though.
I'm 30 and I giggled through that video like a 12 year old school boy lol (Danny makes me piss my pants)
So I'm playing FC3 and get to the end. Not sure what is supposed to happen next. My wife walks in and immediately my character is boning a painted Amazonian woman. She says "WTF?" and I start laughing so hard I'm crying and can't see the screen. Ah, good times. Game sex is sad/funny, not sexy. Not even a bit.
I got a kick out of the scene in Far Cry 3 where you were tripping balls fighting a giant demon with a a bow and arrow and upon his defeat you wake to find yourself being raped by a hot warrior goddess with the red painted nipples.
@kagento I haven't finished FC:3 yet!
I think the worst sex scene was in Mario Sunshine. I have nightmares about Mario and Luigi giving Princess Peach that double mustache ride!
"at least let me pull out before you do it" hahaaaa tell that to a Black Widow =P
Good list, agree with most of 'em, would have had the GTA San Andreas or other GTA ones in it too, so cheesy and awkward, almost as bad as Mass Effect's.
The most awkward I've ever felt was at the start AC Brotherhood when our valiant hero Ezio returns from Rome (all Apple of Eden'd up) and is seduced by Caterina Sforza. The end product is a rather wooden, Thunderbirdsesque tumble in front of the window with his black-afronted armour looking on in shame. I honestly had to look away: awful.
Easily one of the best episodes ever. I probably shouldn't have watched it at work but I couldn't resist. Too damn funny.
I was definitely laughing quite a bit during this episode. What will you have in store for us all next week?
Im Thinking about sex right now, Danny, because its the subject of your video. Gee why is there such obsession with sex. Its natural okay, I get it, gee! Its the stance of people towards it that bugs me.
On subject, I found sex scenes to be rather unecessary.
I don't like anything that tries to be serious/romantic in a video game. It usually comes of as awkward even though it's attempting to be mature. A good example are most of the scenes in Bioware games.
Other games like Saints Row and The Witcher treat it in a more immature/funny way. You can just watch it and laugh at it. I much prefer that as I'm more comfortable with it.
This is my personal preference.
Danny, I think the pigeon dating game has had some, er... strange side effects on you. :P If you were worried about people finding you through THOSE videos... ;)
@SoulxReaperx366 that's only one of the endings, and you kind of deserve it
@SoulxReaperx366 it's over a year old. spoilers have a limited shelf life.
@SoulxReaperx366 story in shooters usually doesn't play that big role in the experience of the game. Even in "sophisticated" shooters like Bioshock story is laughable. I'd say story element in video games is rather weak/childish. If you are interested so much for a story, you can always read a book, or watch a film.
@SoulxReaperx366 Seeing one of the endings doesn't affect the awesome gameplay and tons of fun you will have playing this game. Trust me!
@SoulxReaperx366 You could of paused and not watched very easy to do
@morfinesommers I can't believe Custer's revenge wasn't officially on the list!