• 1Jul 08

  Paranoid Android

  Graduation day. A day ever high school senior looks forward to. But, this time,
  the forces of an unknown origin are about to ruin this day for a mac906. No, today,
  mac906 will experience the most horrible event of his life, more than the
  thousands of useless hours he's spent for school. Well, perhaps not, but today, he has
  unwillingly entered... THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

  "I can't believe it. I'm finally here," mac906 was thinking, as he was walking up
  to the stage to grab his diploma, "I can finally get out of his Hell hole." As he was
  about to grab his diploma, shake hands with a bunch of district nobodies and get back to
  his chair, the families and friends of the students graduating started to scream. As he
  looked up, he saw a raccoon dressed up in ninja gear. "What the hell are you doing?!" mac
  yells, as the ninja-raccoon throws a shuriken at mac's diploma and utterly abolishes it.
  "You.... b******!!!!!" mac906 screams, as he jumps off of the stage, and tackles the ninja-raccoon, "Why are you doing this?! Answer me before I take one of your shurikens and stick it where the sun don't shine!!!" All of a sudden, another ninja-raccoon does a flip in the air and lands on mac, and precedes to pound him with its fi... er, paws. Mac906 tries desperately to fight off the little rodents, when a huge racoon comes up to them and forcefully says "Enough!" causing the two ninja-raccoons to let go of mac and start bowing down to their leader. "Who... are you?" asks mac, to which the mighty raccoon replies, "We are the Rac Clan, a group of highly-trained ninjas who are sworn to protect the innocent." "Innocent? You're attacking me, my friends and my family, you a******!" bellows mac. "We do not protect you foolish humans, no, we protect our kind, the racoons. You see, for years you humans have found that there was a better alternative to paper for making your school diplomas. What they found out, was that raccoon skin is much thicker than paper, and tastes pretty damn good as well. We Rac Clan have destroyed as many 'graduation ceremonies' as we can for the past 2 months..." then mac906 interrupts, "Wait, you mean we started making raccoon-diplomas 2 months ago?" The Rac Clan leader said, "No, but you know how hard it is to actually form a group and assemble as much money as you can to fund these things, right? I mean, c'mon, who is gonna sell ninja gear to a bunch of animals?" "Hm, you have a point, that is pretty stupid..." utters mac, to which the raccoon leader swiftly responds "Quiet, you! We have been mercilessly knocked around by you 'men' for years, and we WILL destroy you." Mac then says, "Well, I'm afraid I can't let that happen. I know you'll never understand, but for 12 f****** years, I have been going to these God-awful establishments and for what? To get thwarted by a bunch of raccoons? Screw you!" The Rac Clan leader eyes
  mac, carefully, and sighs, saying "Then so be it... Rac Clan, attack him at once!" Mac
  runs out of sight and hides under a cardboard box. "Its a good thing I brought my lucky

  9mm with me, today" mac thinks to himself as he takes his pistol out from under his gown. "He's got to be around here somewhere!" says a Rac Clan member, as they relentlessly start pursuing mac. CAUTION:99.99. Mac starts walking around the perimeter, still hiding under the box, and tries to look for an exit. A ninja sees mac, and says "What the... did that box just move?" "****, they're on to me." utters mac in a soft voice. He tries to think of a way out, but its too late. After looking at the box, the ninja kicks it over, sees mac, and screams "He's right here!!!" ALERT:99.99. Mac caps the raccoon that found him, in the head, and starts to run. Shuriken after shuriken are zipping past mac, as he's zig-zagging his way to the parking lot. He jumps through one of the side windows of a random car, jump starts it, and get the hell out of there. But as he is driving away, he remembers his loved ones are still in the stadium, so he decides to go back. As the raccoons are chasing him in thier Rac Clan Van, he's driving around the parking lot trying to shoot the tires, but its too hard. Then, he has an idea, a blast inside the brain of some sort. He looks out of the car and yells "Epic lulz!!!" causing the Rac Clan Van to explode, with raccoons flying everywhere. As he gets back to the stadium, everyone runs up to him to thank him for saving their lives. As mac906 is taking in all of the glory, he starts to doze off. He then wakes up in the graduation ceremony, and sees that everything is in order. All, but one thing: he isn't in the chairs like the rest of his peers, but in the stands with his family. "I'm admired that you wanted to see your friends graduate, Mike" his father says. Mac then looks at the students of '08 and says "Yeah, I wish I could have been down there, though."

  *SPOILERS* It turns out mac906 was in a car accident involving maniac raccoons running into the middle of the road, causing mac to be in the hospital for weeks, to which the school couldn't allow him to pass because of the credits he was missing. */SPOILERS*

  Mac906, an innocent bystander to the maniac we call 'life.' If you're out there reading

  this, you know that sometimes, people are dealt the worst hand possible. Remember to embrace life, and to laugh at the people who have it worse off than you. A lesson only learned... in THE ZAKKRO ZONE
  • Posted Jul 1, 2008 12:28 am PT
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• 18Jun 08

  Song time!!!!

  Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me...
  • Posted Jun 18, 2008 11:09 am PT
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• 26Mar 08

  Five To One

  baby.. one in five.

  No one here gets out alive, now

  Yep... that's a song... >_>

  1) I was adopted. Yep, its true O_o

  2) I'm not a really talkative guy in real life...

  3) I sing... but I probably suck at it. I wouldn't know; I make myself believe I'm an OK singer...

  4) I didn't have an NES/SNES when I was young... my brothers did, but I had a Genesis. SONIC FTW!!!!!

  5) I'm always coming up with ideas for stories and the like; ever since I was a kid. Sadly, I didn't really record any of them, and I'm sure a lot of them probably sucked.

  Now the 5 I pick are....

  Sir_Marwin, withouthatred, feyre, grungies and Carlos_Santana... >_>

  • Posted Mar 26, 2008 11:13 pm PT
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