• 30May 08

  international man laws....

  ok so i got this email the other day after getting my appendix out. so im sitting there trying to take it easy as my stomach is killing me.. i went through about a weeks worth of pain killers in 4 days...im such a wuss.. so anyways i get this email and i laugh so hard it was actually hurting my guts.. firrst time ever ive laughed that its physically caused me pain... so yeah this is them.

  The International Codeof Manlaws.
  
  1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
  
  2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
  (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
  (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning herblouse.
  (c) After wrecking your boss's car.
  (d) When she is using her teeth.

  3. Anyman who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by hismates.
  
  4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
  
  5. If you've known ablokefor more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
  
  6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in amate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
  
  7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
  
  8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
  
  9. When stumbling upon otherblokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
  
  10. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of fart entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
  
  11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
  
  12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick anotherbloke in the nuts.
  
  13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
  
  14.Mates don't letmates wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
  
  15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
  
  16. Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
  
  17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
  
  18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
  
  19. If you compliment ablokeon his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
  
  20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
  
  21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

  
  (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
  (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
  (c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
  
  22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (I.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.).

  For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
  
  23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
  
  24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
  
  25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
  
  26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
  
  27. The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox. End of story.
  
  28. There is no reason forblokes to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
  
  29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
  
  'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out withyour mates, being assaulted by your wife/ girlfriend with a broom,and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning,or are you flying somewhere?'
  
  'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with your matessmelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say, 'You're next,scrubber!'

  so there wat did you reckon? the font thing screwed up and i didnt know how to fix as well my computer knowledge was lucky enough to even get me onto gamespot.

  • Posted May 30, 2008 4:26 am PT
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• 28Apr 08

  My almost non GTA4

  grr was i unhappy this morning... i waltzed into my local big w (livingstone) behind two other gamers expecting to get gta4.... and only the display boxes were up.. ok i thought no need to harm civillians yet.. i asked the counter chick and she says they havent had their stock delivered maybe later in the week! so i get her to ring another store and they dun have it either.. i was like OMG im not going to get it.. *cue freaky music* started talking to one of the other gamers and we both bailed to jb and got it first and second as we pushed in front of about 30 other ppl.... moral of the story is dont buy games from big w... any other bad experiences from anyone else buying it today

  my opinion is i dont like the driving controls its too.... non responsive..

  • Posted Apr 28, 2008 11:21 pm PT
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• 25Apr 08

  gta4 induced aggression

  ok so im currently just under three days from the midnite release of gta 4.. nothing new.. another 10,000 odd gamers are eagerly awaiting it just the same...but im starting to get withdrawals from not having it... i need to play it so bad i would hock my parents stuff just to get my paws on it... bad you say? well for them yes but for me no....

  is it normal to be lusting over a game so bad you would sell your left foot to get it? or kill a small child just to get at it? well not kill as thats harsh, but maim him a little, maybe give him a limp for the rest of his life or so. and im just waiting to hear the stories that i have heard on release dates of consoles. said child goes and buys game from game store.. someone in carpark mugs him and takes said game... irony that there mugging him for gta4?... you bet your bollocks it is.. and i would pay good money to that robber for the copy of that game.. or keeping with tradition, i can mug him.. and who said video games causes violence.. pfft never.. its keeping gamers from the games and moderating them for adults that causes violence... im looking at you jack thompson, the oflc and that weird pedo minister from south australia, who looks like he would rather make a special "home movie" then be part of the human race.

  so grr awaiting the game....well im kinda tired now so hope that when you buy your gta4...you dont get it taxed from you.. or on a lighter note maybe its the tradition of the game?

  • Posted Apr 25, 2008 11:20 am PT
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