Since it's been so long since I've updated, I'll treat you to a new video. It's up on my videos page on the left (rediculous Gamespot designers!) Check it out, tell me what you think either here or there. If you couldn't tell after watching it, I'll be a Chaos Chosen. Fear my tank-ness.

Oh yeah, and the blog posts I made about MMORPG's in the past didn't happen, unless they relate to WoW.

What do you get when you mix a broken washing machine, a broken chair, and a bunch of tank parts? This!:

Bad picture? Yeah, so, check it out here instead. Now, why would this be of such importance to me, apart from being my own? It got posted on Miniwargaming.com! I recommend you first view it on Youtube, as the MWG.com version loses the annotations, which have some important info. Check it out! I've already basecoated it, and I'll have some pics of that soon.

Un-freaking believable! Okay, to every modeller/painter who's been stuck under a rock for the last few years, there is a general cleaner called "Simple Green" that, when used to immerse models, strips paint off in a few days time, and gives them a pleasent scent...like that last one matters. In any case, this has been general knowledge for modellers, but apparently, not to the good people at Simple Green.

On their site, Simple Green has a page where SG users can tell their stories on how they best use it. Well, I decided to send them a heads-up on what the rest of us were doing, and lo-and-behold, what did I find in my Inbox a day or so later? Here's a transcript:

"Dear (DELETED BY ORDER OF THE INQUISITION),

Thank you for contacting Simple Green and for your positive input and testimonial.

Since I will be using your testimonial on our "testimonials" page, I'd like to send you a few sample products and a few $2.00 coupons for future purchases of Simple Green for you and your friends. If you are interested just reply to this email with your mailing address (I do not share this with anyone).

Thank you again for choosing Simple Green!"

To my watchers in the dark over at Gamespot, I'm unfortunately going to be AFK through most of June and the beginning of July. Please, don't worry, I'm not dead or dying, I have to do family whatnots (read: housesitting for vacationing relatives). This will unfortunately keep me away from most of my more enjoyable hobbies...well, except for 40K.

I'll be in the town where my nearest major hobby shop is located...hooray! This means that I'll have some time to paint my mini's (which are looking fantastic, pics coming soon) and get them some field time. I'll also pick up a few more Marines if possible. Maybe that Grim Reaper-looking thing from WHFB...I could use a Familiar.

I might or I might not be getting the Gamers Edition of 5th Edition. It all depends on how this month goes. If I'm very luck, I'll have some loot coming my way that will enable me financially to get it. By the way, if you haven't already, go pre-order it on GW's site; do that and grab a bottle of paint or two and you'll have free shipping AND a Direct Exclusive Marine Sergeant.

Ladies and gents, as of this writing, my Freshman year in college is over, and so is my lack of updating for the summer. My god, where to begin? Well, I picked up a slew of new games since last October, and I'll list them:

• Galactic Civilizations 2
• Sins of a Solar Empire
• Guitar Hero 3
• Dawn of War: Soulstorm

Not too many, but that's not the biggest thing. My roommate had a Playstation 3, which I made good use of, believe me. I had just enough days to beat Grand Theft Auto 4, although not entirely, and I must say that it meets and exceeds every expectation I had. The city is godlessly humongous, with fantastic detail throughout. It would take me months simply to get used to the ins and outs of the city, and that's before you meet the pedestrians (car fodder). The city lives and breathes, people act realistically, do things like real humans do, and cuss like drunken, lobotomised sailors.

Speaking of lobotomies, why do we drive in that game like we have one? Most of the cars, sans the extremely well-detailed sportsters, are simply four wheeled slugs that spin out and fishtail like their tires are made of finely polished glass. Apart from that one complaint, and the fact that the helicopters have somewhat clunky controls, and the targeting system still needs some work, the game is without fault, plain and simple.

PS3 - A Friend To Me

As I said, my roomy had a PS3, and I got as many demos as I could played on it. While I was unable to get the MGS4 beta, I did try out Condemned 2, and I have to say that I'm not very impressed. It was about as frightening as a fuzzy kitten, and the whole 'mud men' concept dragged on after I booted the fifth one coming out of the same hole in the face. The storyline looks interesting, but we must remember why we buy games, to play them and not to watch them.

Apart from gaming with the PS3, I also used the 'Folding @ Home' program while it wasn't being used for games. If you're interested in helping with cancer research, which if you're an at all decent human being, you are, check them out here. It can also run on your computers as well, and I've already got 30 Work Units done! I'm not exactly a sociable person I suppose, so I didn't use any of the other options the PS3 had to offer, but then again, I've got less than a GB of music on my computer, so I doubt it's worth sharing.

Luck Be a D6 Tonight

Well, 5th Edition's coming (of Warhammer 40,00 tabletop), so I better get my last few games of 4th played while I can. I have a new hobby center less than an hour's drive away, so expect lots of battle reports like the one posted a few months back every Saturday or so. I play on Fridays and I get back fairly tired, so no dice on same-day BR's. Unless, that is, if people show some genuine interest. I have a new Whirlwind waiting to rain death on the enemy, and that fairly lynch-pins my army. Time and time again, I've cursed the fact that I wasn't able to field one, and now that lament is over. I'm going to try a lot of modelling tricks on this one, and see what happens; what I'll do first is use some modelling putty to sculpt my Chapter insignia on the side. Take that, Forgeworld! I never got around to buying the Apocalypse book, but with 5th edition so close to coming, I seriously doubt I'll purchase it, although I may simply because I realize how quickly these sort of things appreciate in value. For example, I talked to a friend over the phone about buying his old copy of Cities of Death, but he'd already sold it back to the hobby store which now asked for about five dollars more than it's original printing! Yeesh.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

I game, and I read, it's what I do. For the last few months, I've been chewing through the Horus Heresy series at a speed that's got my wallet nervous. As of this writing, I have every one up to Descent of Angels, and I can't wait to get my hands on Legion. I've also picked up: Desert Raiders, Fifteen Hours, Duty Calls, the Blood Angels series, The Last Chancers, the Soul Drinkers Omnibus, the Space Wolves Omnibus, and the Ultramarines Omnibus. Of them all, I only regret the Soul Drinkers Omnibus. It's arguably one of the worst-written books in the Black Library, although it did have good opening potential. I won't spoil anything, as that's a fairly rude thing to do, but suffice it to say that the storyline after about the middle of the first book is, at best, ludicrous. I had a seriously hard time believing that the wonderfully written Grey Knights novels were written by the same person. The Space Wolves Omnibus, on the other hand, is marvelous, with witty characters and a believable, engaging storyline. I haven't pried open the Ultramarines Omnibus yet, so I can't say one way or ther other, but if False Gods and Fulgrim are of any indication, I think I'll be a happy man reading them. By the way, in my opinion, Fulgrim is the best Horus Heresy book thusfar. I didn't think it was possible to make a good book regarding the Emperor's Children, but Graham McNeill proved me sorely wrong.

In addition, I've also purchased a Bible. Not a hotel room-ish one, but a real, 'pass it on to your kids' type. The reason being is that I'm becoming a more faithful person in my real life. Don't worry, though I won't have any problems tearing the 6th Commandment to shreds in the Grim Future of the 41st Millenium (in case you don't know, that's 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'.) Ironically, it's 40K that made me into a more god-fearing man. Seeing what laxity can bring myrself, albeit in a more realistic (read: not with daemons tearing me a new one) sort of sense, I've started working out and I've got a girlfriend to boot.

For the Changer of Ways

Things are indeed changing for me. Consider this, I weighed 250 pounds (113 kg, for you Europeans) at the onset of my Freshman year. With no intramurals at all, I dropped to 200 (90)! How? Probably because of a severe change in diet that I plan on taking with me. That and I was required to walk just about everywhere on campus. I'm going to say right now that the oil crisis we're in right now is probably good for our bodies. I mean honestly, with gas the price it is now ($3.75 USD at this writing), I'm very fortunate I picked up a Honda Civic. It's not a Toyota Prius, but it gets the job done. While I did state that I have a girlfriend, we like to keep things between ourselves, so don't expect her to be on an episode of the vlog. And to answer your question, no, she doesn't know about it. I've also switched majors. In the first of the year, I was a Theatre Performance major, but now I'm switching to Psychology. Either way, I get into people's heads, huh?

That's all for now, Gamespot pioneers. I don't know what I'll talk about next time, but I can bet you it won't be in seven months like last time. Oh, and by the way, since when did that picture turn from the English poster to the Spanish one? Que!?

Alright, let's get one thing straight: Screw all the people working to make bad movies that make lots of money off stupid people...this movie was superb. I don't care if Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 22%, or if Ebert and Roeper waved their overvalued thumbs in the air, Rob Zombie did the series good, and we as a people simply can't accept the fact yet. I saw this movie last night and, while I was perhaps not frightened by the movie (only video games can do that now, sadly), I was not disappointed. Most people cringed when Zombie said that he would delve into Myers' past and depict him speaking, and truth be told, I was one of them. After seeing this film, however, my mind has been pimp-slapped by a powerfist backward. While I never truly felt sorry for the young pyschopath, I could now honestly empathize with him, at least up until a point where Rob had to bow to the skank-slaughtering putzes at MGM. Long story short: good movie, watch it if you haven't, and sit on a cactus and spin if you didn't like it.

Somewhere Under the Screams

Now onto the gaming part of this little blog, I have acquired Bioshock, and being the half-way lucky individual I am, I can run the danged thing. I am impressed with the visual aesthetic, and the voice acting is just as marvelous as everyone says it is, although it can get a bit swear-heavy with some of the enemies. Luckily, I break their potty-mouths wide open with a wrench and a revolver...in the dining room. Boardgame references aside, I'm not yet sold on the combat. Plasmids are really nifty to experiment with, and the Big Daddies are Bad Muthas, but other than them, the fighting is rather ho-hum. Zap 'em in the good bits, bonk 'em over the head with a wrench. Rinse with bloody sea-water, repeat. The gist of the conversations I've seen people have about Bioshock is that it's supposed to be frightening. I'll get back to you on that, but I suppose after playing F.E.A.R. a couple times, I'm a bit desensitized to evil little girls. Speaking of which, if you ever get this game, PM me if you truly feel a twinge of guilt regarding what to do with the Little Sisters, I know I did; which is bizarre given my track record for hating small children and wishing horrendous things upon them. My choice was to either rip out the necessary ingredients out of the little hellions, which in hindsight would have really helped out the game, or get half of that amount of stuff and feel good knowing you rescued a little girl from a life of drinking the blood of the dead and hanging around walking steel mills. To your shock and amazement, I chose the latter end. Yes, call me a wuss, but the way I see it, I can always try for that alternate ending next time...

All That Glitters is Mithril Silver

Now, onto the tabletop! I've made two rather nessential purchases recently: one of metallic paints, the other of a case. Shining Gold and the aforementioned silver have made a mockery of my previous attempts at imitating metal. Tracks and treads, once decorated with Astro Grey are now glitteringly ugly silvers and beautifully gritty bronzes...oh yeah, I got that color too. Fifty-cents hardly compares to what I'm now producing from my Manufactorium...aka my dorm room. The case that now rests in said dorm room was the large case, and while a bit steep at a hundred dollars after tax, I think in the coming years it will be well worth it. No more lugging about a chess-set smashed Megaforce box as my paint slowly rubs away, now my armies will cruise about in comfort..now if only I could win a freaking game with them! Just last week I played an experienced Eldar Autarch by the name of Rick, and boy do I hate packed tables. Skimmers are a real pain, ladies and gents, and combine that with the Storm and/or Blade maneuver that allows Eldar to double their firing rate, it makes things hell on Earth. Combine that with a Jetbike mounted Autarch crunching my Dreadnoughts, let's just say I didn't fare too well. Oh well, I'm going back up tomorrow for another round with a new player...maybe that Iron Warriors gent I saw playing against a Tau. Yes, I think that's who I'll challenge. In fact I...EMPEROR'S HAIRY BACK! I didn't pack my digital camera with me, so no Battle Reports, at least not for a good few weeks. I promise I will make them, though. Don't worry, however, I did bring my Eyetoy and costume, so the vid-logs can continue unmolested. I just need to figure out my roommates habits to find out when I have enough time to film them.

So much news...so little time, ah well. Let's start with the vid-log and its' fate. I have been ready to put a bullet through my screen whenever it gives me 'I'm sorry, your connection to our video server has failed*' picture after nearly twelve hours of uploading. For some reason, uploading takes almost twice as long exactly as it does to download, and that's quite a large chunk of minutes considering my connection might as well be 57k. Yes, that is indeed fifty-seven K, only one above modem...and it's still pitifully considered broadband. But, redirecting from my own pities, I can't guarantee when the next episode will appear, it's all in Gamespot's hands.

Now, for some BIG news.

I've been a fan of Warhammer 40,000 since the turn of the century, but I, like most people was simply a Dawn of War fanatic, with either no knowledge that the tabletop game existed, or no interest. Times have changed, and I have begun craving a 1500 point match as much as a Khorne Berzerker craves a keg of the blood of the innocent on tap. College brings about so many interesting financial opportunities, and I am now the rather proud owner of a complete army of Space Marines. I've yet to tally their point total, but I'm almost dead certain it's around 2,000, special characters not included. What do I have?

• One V.4 Rulebook
• One Codex: Space Marines
• Six Tactical Marine Squads
• Two Assault Marine Squads (One with jump-packs, one without)
• Two Scout Marine Squads (One with Sniper Rifles, one without)
• One Devastator Squad
• One Terminator Squad
• One Command Squad
• One Combat Squad
• Two Commanders (One Chapter Master and Company Commander)
• One Land Speeder Typhoon(As of this writing STILL not yet built...they're very tricky devils)
• One Rhino
• One Razorback (With twin-linked lascannon)
• One Land Raider (Regular kind)
• One Librarian w/Terminator Honours
• One Chaplain w/Terminator Honours
• Enough paint, spray, and dice to last me
• One Necron Wraith (Explained below)

I'm sure right now you're asking why in Throne's sake I got a Necron Wraith, but it's a funny story. My transport for the day I was to visit the hobby shop where I got that list had no love for the Omnissiah, so it decided to not move...and my younger brother happened to have one that did. I put a lot of 40k-related images on my computer, so he sees some of it whether he likes it or not. A few months ago, I had the Necrons lining my wallpaper, and he happened to take a fancy to it (two things: one, I don't care to play Necrons...I just wanted some change from the usual Astartes fair, and two, he has absolutely no interest in the game, he just thinks they look 'cool'). Given the burden of driving me there, he made me a Brando-esque offer: you keep the gas money, I get a Necron Wraith, or as he so eloquently put it, "Those metal skull dudes with the spine." Que cera, cera.

I'm on a veritable Crusade to find tabletop players in the eastern New Mexico/West Texas area, and I would love to play a few matches with anyone willing. I've heard rumours that there is a Rogue Trader branch somewhere in the Lubbock, Texas area, and would greatly like to meet with them. This is both a lie and the truth, I must confess; I saw this Rogue Trader league playing a tournament at the same time I was buying my kitsch, and they were playing a very interesting set of games involving teleporting set pieces. PM me if you want to learn more about it, it was very exciting. I was handed their internet handle, their Yahoo group information, and just about everything I needed...but then I forgot to pull that information out of my 'cloak' before I sent it through the wash. They're holding a Fantasy tourney around the 20th, and I think I should call up the hobby shop and ask for their rep.

Ahh, speaking of the 20th, that's around when we, by which I mean the Warhammer 40,000 Union, will be throwing our own little campaign: Death of Maljamar III. It'll be held over the Dawn of War: Dark Crusade servers, and if you want to sign up (plenty of slots still available as of this writing) just PM me, or my Lieutenant-Moderator Chris Yee.

Well, that's all I can think of right now...I honestly promise to be more consistent with my updates in the future.

That's right, it's the big two-oh for me. I have a thousand pageviews, thanks for that. I bit the bullet and bought Mark of Chaos. The box told me that a 7-series chip could run it fine, so I put the quality on the higher end of things. I think my computer had an embolism, and woke up after I had to do a dry-shutdown asking, "WHY GOD!? WHYYYY?!" Needless to say, I need more memory. I'm getting a new gig or so of juice to supplement my 512mb.

Now, as for the game itself. Aside from the in-house complications the game gets an 80. It has a nice LOTR-meets-40k carnagey feel to it, but I'm not impressed with the overarchingly powerful ranged units, specifically the siege weapons. Lord of Change, do I hate those things. They can waylay troops from nearly a half map away, but take at least five minutes to knock down one section of wall. Sure, I can just put my men into a loose formation (great gameplay element by the way), but I'll still lose about a dozen or so units before I have a chance to get up close and personal. Khorne bless the mounted units and their unstoppable charges. I get giddy whenever I have the chance to field a half-dozen squads (er, regiments, sorry, I'm 40k all the way) of Chaos Warriors with a boatload of horse-bound killers leading the way. Speaking of that, death to the Empire handgunners.

While I was on the path of the Dark Side, I met up with the Skaven. Now at first, I thought they would follow as their fluff rightfully should: a teeming swarm of chittering morons that simply swarm to submission. Well, after five or six wholly annihilated squads of footsoldiers, I soon realized that somebody in Namco/Bandai screwed up. Quite the contrary to their background, the Skaven are the Fantasy equivalent to the Tau: shooty beyond all reason and piss-poor in close combat. The only difference between them is that the Skaven really don't have a Kroot equivalent, at least not one that's any good. Their Warp cannons are insanely powerful, although about as accurate as a shotgun. If you're wondering what it's like, picture this if you're a 40k fan: the heavy cannon the Necron Monolith wields being sent loose against WFB characters. Yeah, it's that damn powerful.

Speaking of grossly overpowered units, let's talk heroes. In Mark of Chaos, a big section of the gameplay is set away to the duelling segment. When two enemy hero units are in a certain range, you'll hear them start talking trash. You now have two options: kill them the regular way, or kill them in a Duel. No, retreat is not an option you French cowards! Of course, killing enemy heroes is easier when use the regular method, but where's the fun in that? When you enter a duel, a slew of new abilities is opened up, and a nifty little ring of fire encircles them, so no backstabby. If you win, the surrounding enemy troops are demoralized and easy pickings for the rest of your forces. If you win, well, let's just hope your guys can run in 80-pound suits of armor.

The Hero customization process is a bit like a simplified form of Armored Core: damned if it ain't tedious, but damned if it ain't useful. New weapons, wargear, mounts, spells and healing potions, etc. Your hero, as he fights, levels up, allowing you to grant him more enhanced abilities, buffs, and spells. You will quickly find that having two heros is a godsend. As of now, I have a Chaos "Lord", a Lieutenant, and a Sorcerer. I let my Lord do the anti-hero work, my Lieutenant does the slogging about in the battlefield, and my Sorcerer gets all the Command buffs. It's good that you can choose whether or not your hero is mounted or not, because it can spell the difference between life, death, and a fate worse than the latter.

Oh, and while we're talking Sorcerers, damn whoever made this games story. As a Chaotic force, your Lord starts out as Undivided, fair enough. You do some fighting, gain an army, then you have to do a quest to gain the favor of the Chaos Gods. This would seem cool, and it is, at least until the end of said mission. At the end, you must choose a patron god, but you only get TWO choices, Nurgle or Khorne. That pissed me off beyond all reason. Throughout the game, Tzeentch and Slaanesh got a reaming, only being mentioned in passing. True, they're more 40k than FB, but it still didn't make me happy.

Well, that's all I have as far as news goes, the vid-blog should be up with a new round soon.

I need someone with ideas to tell me what to do with Round 6. I have plenty of ideas of my own, but I want you guys to tell me what you want. Want to know something about me? Want me to review a specific game? (If you're going to suggest that, go to the games I already own, and see if there are any that you have...no sense in doing a review of a game I don't have.) TELL ME! The Flying Spaghetti Monster demands it!

Oh, and by the way, Healer, the answer to your Gamespot sillines is that GS has just put in a (fantastic) new system for posting and whatnot. Thanks, Gamespot! This model of forum is used in Imperial Literature, and I suggest you all visit it if you're into Warhammer FB, 40k, or even Star Wars literature. I don't read that stuff (Star Wars), but some people do.

Holy...I just spoke with Dan Abnett! If you didn't know, he's a magnificent author for Black Library. He also works with Marvel Comics among other things. Thanks again to Suicidal/Healer, none of this would have been possible without him. If you want to know how it went, just check out the Union of the Unforgiven. I think I'll pass out now.

Well, I have to say, I was wrong about Supreme Commander. The game is much better than the "overhyped" RTS I had previously described. Huge numbers of units, well balanced fights, War-Walkers, it really is fun. I am seriously reconsidering purchasing this bad boy. I will say that I'm not thrilled with the slow pace of the builder units and the air unit AI, but that is far overshadowed by the sheer size of the battlegrounds...and the battles that occur on them. The only unit cap I've discovered is my enemies units shooting them down. My final gripe is over the fact that the tutorials (at least in the demo) aren't supplied in the game itself and require a new window being brought up. Favorite race? Ask me later...I just got done with the Cybran Nation and wasn't very pleased.

Yes, even I can admit I'm wrong...but don't hold your breath RPG-scum.

The Vid-blog has taken a slight hiatus while I get some things in order in my personal life, but I should have Round 5 in within the week.

At last! Part two of my evil scheme to conquer Gamespot is complete; I'm now moderator for a Warhammer 40,000 Union. With Kanehunters graces, I'm working with the W40KU to advance my knowledge of modelling, backstory, and how to completely dominate. I will be fair and just (I don't work with the Inquisition, I AM the Inquisition), but I don't expect to be merciful to Smurf fans.

Now, to commence the final phase. I shall join a Metal Gear Solid Union, sway them with my wicked charm, and become....MOD! With my unholy trinity of diabolic moderatorial power, I will rule Gamespot, and do away with the vegetative fools wasting calories playing MMORPG's like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy. Two million players in Azeroth, you say? Sigh...I guess Exterminatus is sounding a lot more reasonable. Gold farmers, ninjas, 1337 freeks, etc. I shudder to think about the next "Crusade" these so called people will launch.

Now E-bay is telling these Massivly Mindwashed Owners of Ridiculously Poor-quality Games to sod off in so many words, by banning the sale of real-life goods for fictional loot. HAH! I can't think of a better way to say "F-U" to the insipid, mentally disabled cretins playing these time-wasting abominations...well, except for shutting them all down.

Star Wars Galaxies isn't fun anymore because it's too easy to become a Jedi now? Too bad. The Final Fantasy's aren't as original as they used to be? Good. Now, while I won't overstep myself and insult Warhammer: Age of Reckoning, I will say that one Black Templar with half a clip in his Storm Bolter could probably wipe out the entirety of the Empire...then he'd slay the rest of WFB with his bare hands and a chainsword.

Well, things are changing faster and faster, but I keep up. If you've seen my banner before and look at it now, you'll see that it's a fairly nice improvement. My description has changed, and my board habits have changed as well.

I'm frequenting the Miniatures Wargaming Union more frequently, and aiding in their Union Novel project. I'm writing in the guise of a Chaos Sorcerer. I hope to be a big help, but it's a team venture, so GO TEAM!

Don't worry, Gundam and Mecha Union patrons, I'm still there. It's been fairly slow on the boards, so I'm shifting some of my attentions towards the MWU. I find it strange that the MWU is ranked lower than the GMU. I mean no offense to Cold-Fusion, but the MWU is so professionally laid out that you'd think it was sponsored by Games Workshop itself.

I'm changing musical tastes as well. I went from liking the works of Basil Poledouris (i.e. bombastic military anthems) to low-pitched guitar riffs. For gamers, think of the song played at the opening screen to Doom 3. I'm not sure why I changed in that regard, but I think I find the "feel" of the sound relaxing...weird, no?

Well, fads come, fads go, and I keep on truckin'. I don't think I'll get Supreme Commander; it looks a bit hyped. I also had hopes for Company of Heroes, made by the same people who made Dawn of War, but it has this kind of disjointed pace that puts me off. If it weren't for demos, I'd probably have a garage-full of games I shouldn't have bought, now that I think of it.

See you guys next time. If you've actually read this thing up to this point, howsabout sending a response, or adding me if you haven't already? Solidzaku is just like misery...he loves company.

(P.S., there's nothing funnier than Flamethrower-wielding pandas)

In recent news, the New York Times...obviously a dedicated gaming periodical, has called the Playstation 3 a "bust", citing its' exorbitant price-tag, low quality of its games, and compared it to OJ Simpson's recent publishing blunder. To many, this may very well spell doom for Sony's console, but the way I see it, this is great.

Stupid logic? Not really. Think about it: when Sony get's the black-ball from one of the highest accessed printed news outlets in the world, they're obviously not going to get much business. To the average Joe Schmo who believes anything they're told, if they see such scathing reviews compared to other consoles, they will obviously pick the latter. Nobody buying means lower prices. Lower prices mean that those of us who know better than the writer of the article, Lev Grossman, will get a better bargain. I can see the price of the console going down by nearly fifty U.S. dollars by next month. I'm not an award-winning journalist or a Wall Street guru, but when you start putting the pieces together, the future (for the consumer at least) looks bright.

Sony's already losing big bucks on every console sold, and as history has proven, time has a way of decreasing a console's value. In this instance, however it's value was decreased by Time metaphorically and literally.

A couple levels have come and gone, but I'm still here. I spend most of my time watching over the Gundam and Mecha Union boards. I visit the Chrome Hounds Union from time to time, but I'm afraid I don't know much about the game. For some strange reason, the GuMe boards have drifted into an odd conversation over a character's eye color. Wierd, no?

As of now, I'm a Ring King, so expect me to sneak up behind you and hand you delicious burgers and fries while wearing a goofy mask. Don't ask me how that freak became popular, although I do admit the commercials make me laugh. I do have one question regarding the King of Burgerland...Where is Your God Now?

Well, apart from tasty sacrilege, things are going very...VERY smoothly in Battlefield 2142. I've gone up 5 ranks in about a week, and since I've unlocked the Baur Assault Rifle, it's only gotten sweeter and sweeter. I'll be a Warrant Officer in a few days, and I hope to collect all of your dogtags soon. I can't wait to get my hands on the Voss L-AR. From what I've seen from the very awesome Folkes Unlocks mod, this thing can plink people from midrange like nobodies business, perhaps even better than the Baur. Only problem is, I need to go up two ranks to earn it...or just one with a good enough squad. From there, I'll move onto the Support Class weapons.

Not much gaming news besides that, well, I've beaten Dawn of War: Dark Crusade with more than half of the provided races, nice storyline. I have a GeForce 7800 on my wish list for Christmas (or X-Mas for you East Coast/9th Circuit Court people), but I have a very big problem with my power supply. If I have to do what I think I have to, I'll have to more or less SAW my tower...something I don't want to be doing so close to the holidays. But, if all goes well, I might get Company of Heroes. On second thought, I'll just let my eyes bleed from how good my other games will look.

Level 10...And I Can't Give No.

     As I charge ahead in the ranks, I feel it necessary to give thanks to the Gundam and Mecha Union for their help. I owe them my title because of the great forums and fellow mods. Within minutes of putting up a thread, I have active discussions and debates flowing and conversing. People come in every day and show off their masterful works of model building and show critiquing and I have to say, I couldn't be happier about it. Thanks GuMe and thanks Cold-Fusion.

     Now that I've given credit where it's due, I also feel bad about the fact that I have almost nothing worth uploading. I'm not in possession of any good video editing programs, or the means to implement them. I could buy extender cables to get things hooked up, but unfortunately, the trials of all the decent programs I could use have expired and I'm thusly out of luck. I hope that will change soon (FRAPS...er...luck be a lady tonight).

 Grey Knights and Daemon Princes, and Necrons, Oh My!

     Dawn of War has had and expansion, Winter Assault, and it's been fun. The Imperial Guard make nice cannon fodder, and the new units spice up the action without a doubt. Mods have come, mods have gone, and patches have been placed like quilts. The changes have been nice, but it's just not enough anymore.

     I was prepared to give up hope when I saw the beautiful trailers for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. This newest expansion adds two new races and yet another new unit for the rest. Needless to say...I'm a happy Space Marine. With the announcement of the Grey Knights as the new SM character (arguably taken from a fan mod) my friends playing as the forces of Chaos now have a serious problem. True, the Daemon Prince seems formidable (being the boss of the first game after all), however I have confidence in the Ordo Malleus' finest.

     Ahh, but what I'm truly waiting for is the Necrons. For those not in the know, imagine Terminators of movie fame, except pissed off beyond all reason and backed up by the Grim Reaper and floating pyramid fortresses. Cool, no? That and their regerative properties make them the race I truly wait for.

     Oh, and by the way, the Tau are there too.

IKARI WHAT?!

As of yesterday I became, according to Gamespot at least, an Ikari Warrior. Right. The last thing on my mind while I'm helping moderate a forum or check up on Battlefield 2 is the knowledge that I'm a warrior of the Ikari persuasion. I'm certain this rank was designed after much careful consideration (read: finding the oldest, most obscure game character ever and giving him recognition he didn't deserve) and thought (read: binge drinking).

With that said, I think it's time Gamespot started re-tagging these asinine names to more interesting titles like "Covenant Warrior" or "Gurlukovich Soldier" or something a bit more threatening than...Ikari Warrior. Of course, I'm not even allowed to donate movies, and as such I feel I don't have the right to complain (hell, I don't even subscribe to their pay services) however, if one thing a game website should learn is not to do what game manufacturers do (i.e. not listen to their customers).

Of course, I'm not suggesting that user-designed tags be allowed. After all, the last thing I need is some 9-year-old with a name like "Ul3ER 1337 )-(4x02 4 LIFE!!!111!!!". But that doesn't mean I want to be saddled with a rediculous title like Ikari Warrior for about a month (the time it will probably take me to rank up, if all goes well).

PLINK STINK

As for part two of this little tirade/newsreel, shame on you EA. Shame forever. For months, you've had my hopes up with the 2nd tier unlock for the Sniper class on Battlefield 2. I'd been getting popped by L96A1 users over and over, and I couldn't wait to taste sweet vengeance. Lo and behold, after healing an anti-tank soldier on Sharqi Peninsula, my hard work was rewarded and I was granted two unlocks and a new rank. I made the decision to unlock the DAO-12 Streetsweeper and the L96A1 rifle. Man, did I get a bum deal.

At first, I was enthralled by it's mythic powers and mummy-like Ghillie wrappings; the tinyness of the sights spoke sweet promises of headshots to come. Unfortunately, EA has a rather poor sense of humor. Instead of being the instant-killer I made it out to be, it was no more lethal than the M95 Barrett. Worse still, it lacked the punch required to kill helicopter crews. Curses. While more silent than the M95 by far, this is little compensation.

The DAO-12 (now here-on referred to as "Streetsweeper") is almost equally as useless. While imposing to state the least, this cylinder-fed pump gun is about as lethal at medium and long range as a paper airplane. My pistol recieves more playtime than this cumbersome turd. While it does recieve some props in the close-range game, where it excells, it lags so far behind at even medium range that it is almost inexcusable. In patch 1.4 I hope that EA will rectify its terrible server issues and tighten some of the weapons spreads (and fix that damnable Hotel glitch on Karkand).