"Were you sleepless, tearing at the air? Was the water everywhere? Were you fearful, and long to run away? From the cold clasp of Illinois? Oh no."

• 27Dec 09

  Post Christmas Items / Favorite Albums of 2009

  A couple of items I want to write about before the end of the year.

  - First off, I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas and enjoyed the gifts you received this year. Mine went okay, didn't do anything noteworthy. My family doesn't celebrate the holiday anymore after an atrocious Christmas gathering six years ago with my aunt's family. We go about Christmas like it's a regular day away from work. No one in my immediate family received any gifts.

  - My cousin stopped by my house to hang out over the holiday. He received a couple of nice gifts from his girlfriend. His girlfriend got him a Desean Jackson jersey (wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles) and tickets to the Eagles game against the Denver Broncos today. He should have a blast there at Lincoln Financial Field down at South Philadelphia.

  - My uncle purchased himself a new Samsung 58-inch plasma television as his new movie theater television as his previous TV broke down for some strange reason.

  - I received a nice and insightful e-mail from a college friend to consider looking for a new job other than accounting and that I need to take a break and to keep a positive outlook. It has been hard for me to keep an open mind when my current job keeps getting me frustrated and having to deal with small arguments at home and wherever else it may arise. I will do my best to keep fighting and working toward something I feel comfortable doing for my career and life.

  - I hope to possibly take two days off this week. If there isn't too much work for me at the office this week, I'm going to take some days off. I definitely want to take New Years Eve off if I can.

  - I'm probably not going to write a New Years blog, so I'll flesh out my goals that I hope to accomplish in 2010. 1) Find a new job which is not as frustrating as my current job. 2) Continue to work hard for my co-workers and family. 3) To not feel too stressed out about life. 4) Continue blogging here as much as I can. It's the least I can do to those who still follow this blog.

  - To end this entry, I will post my five favorite albums released this year with a short summary on why I enjoyed these albums the most.

  5] Alela Diane - To Be Still
  Alela's wonderful voice: full, confident, soulful; full but spacious sound; simple instrumentation; songs resonate in your head after listening

  4] Isis - Wavering Radiant
  Aggressive metal sound but smoothed out; layers of sound instead of full-frontal assault; engaging long-length songs; moderate pace makes it accessible to get into

  3] The Flaming Lips - Embryonic
  A lot going on, but the band manages to create songs from the chaos; great messages still delivered throughout the album; interesting and engaging delivery and instrumentation

  2] Raekwon - Only Built for Cuban Linx Part 2
  A better representation of great gritty rap music; lyrics/rhymes are detailed and tell a story; album progresses like a book/movie; beats/production are great throughout; no annoying intermissions, all songs

  1] Tim Hecker - An Imaginary Country
  Great ambient sound; different sounds and rhythms coming in and out throughout album; great use of dynamics; music makes you think, takes your mind elsewhere; hard album to get into, but rewarding if you can enjoy it

  - Again, I hope you had a great Christmas and wish everyone the best with the New Year! Many thanks for reading!

  • Posted Dec 27, 2009 1:44 pm PT
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• 19Dec 09

  Work - Life - Games - Music - Blogging - Etc.

  Crap, it's been a while since I last posted an entry here. I'll do my best to summarize what's been going on with my life and what thoughts that have been floating around my head as of late.

  First off, I hope everyone who is is the path of the Nor'ester storm (including myself here in the Philadelphia suburb) to please take it easy if you're traveling outside. I'm hoping my parents will be okay driving through this crazy snowstorm. The Philadelphia area is expected to get 12 to 20 inches of snow.

  WORK

  These last few months at work have been brutal. The CFO is ramping up pressure on the billers to get billings finished within two weeks of when they are first run. I've been able to squeeze in about 80% of my total billings processed within the two weeks, but I can never get everything in on time. This month, I have eight invoices left to process which I hope to complete first thing Monday. I was hoping to at least take Tuesday and Wednesday off from work but it looks like that will not happen. Even when I'm finishing processing the billings on the accounting software, there's still some extra work I need to do with a select number of invoices need additional backup that the client requires to process payment.

  I really wanted to take at least a day off this coming week because I'm coming close to my vacation time limit again. I am thinking of taking New Year's Eve off to at least use up eight hours of my vacation time, but I'll have to highly consider asking my boss to allow me to accumulate vacation time over my current allowable limit.

  The office held an office party on Thursday night. I only stayed there for an hour. I did not enjoy my time there. All I did was sit in the corner briefly talking to the co-workers who I am most comfortable hanging around with. I do not like these bar gathering events. I loathe drinking beer and I can barely contribute to a conversation.

  Yesterday, the company reimbursed all employees who took the mandatory unpaid five days off. That was our small "bonus" check for this year. Basically, the firm repaid the amount we took unpaid earlier this year. It did not have a big impact on me, but for a few of my co-workers, that small amount could be something big.

  At least I'm looking forward to Christmas break.

  LIFE

  I do not have much going for myself outside of work. My work eats up a good chunk of my time (directly and indirectly) that it has affected me from truly enjoying the things I love to do. I have fought all year to not let all of my anger get the best of me. Whenever I get angry or depressed, I always tell myself that I only have this one life to live. I still have a long life ahead of me in which I can finally take steps to make it better. I am far from happy, but as long as I'm still living, I can do something about it.

  Doing something about it, is the hardest first step to take.

  There are many things I would have like to have done this year. If I had the guts, I'd quit my job right now. But I do not think I worked hard enough in my job search to find a new job. Yes, I know there are few job openings available, but I have to keep working if I want to get out from this job. This will be one of my unofficial resolutions for 2010, to find a new job that has the responsibilities that are more closely relate to what I learned about accounting in college. I know that going to a new job does not mean that I'll be happier there, but I won't know if I'm stuck here.

  I will continue to live out my life, work hard as usual and try my best to enjoy life more.

  Side Note - If you want to read a great manga that generally talks about life, check out Inio Asano's What a Wonderful World! It's only two volumes long and it's filled with great short stories. Highly recommended!

  GAMES

  I spent so much money and video games this year which I'm a little unhappy about. Even with a X-Box 360, a Playstation 3, a Nintendo DS with many games to go along with it, I have not enjoyed this generation's video games compared to the games from previous generations. The biggest thing that might be affecting from enjoying games is the constant stress from work. Sometimes I'm not in the right mood to play these games and I end up being more frustrated that I was before. However, there are other reasons why I have not been as impressed with this generation's video games. I hope to explain everything on a future journal entry.

  I'm still enjoy playing video games and continue to buy new games, though I will do my best not to buy as much as I did this year.

  Is it just me, or do today's games lack something?

  MUSIC

  I also spent so much money on music. At least I am enjoying the music I purchased this year much more than the music I purchased last year. I plan on writing my favorite albums of this year either next week during Christmas weekend or on New Years. I still have a few albums I need to listen to before I compile my list together.

  Here's my current shortlist of favorite proper albums released this year.

  • Alela Diane - To Be Still
  • Antony & The Johnsons - The Crying Light
  • Dinosaur Jr. - Farm
  • The Dutchess and The Duke - Sunset/Sunrise
  • The Flaming Lips - Embryonic
  • F*** Buttons - Tarot Sport
  • Isis - Wavering Radiant
  • Mission of Burma - The Sound The Speed The Light
  • The Mountain Goats - The Life of the World to Come
  • Oneida - Rated O
  • Raekwon - Only Built for Cuban Linx Part 2
  • St. Vincent - Actor
  • Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer
  • Super Furry Animals - Dark Days/Light Years
  • Tim Hecker - An Imaginary Country
  • Yo La Tengo - Popular Songs

  BLOGGING

  If all goes to plan, here are some future entries I plan on posting...

  • Favorite Albums of 2009 (Christmas/New Years)
  • Shift in Video Games: The Struggle to Adjust and Enjoy (January 2010)
  • A Look Back: Favorite Games from The 00s (January 2010?)

  ETC.

  Thanks to reading Asano's What a Wonderful World!, I may attempt to start writing a story again. Obviously that all depends if work and life do not frustrate me as much.

  I'm not asking for anything this Christmas. I got what I want. I just need the confidence and inspiration to achieve what I really need.

  I hope all of you have a good weekend, a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! Thanks for reading to those who read this entry!

  • Posted Dec 19, 2009 7:31 am PT
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• 30Nov 09

  What I'm Thankful (And Not So Thankful) For This Year / Other Items

  I know this entry is late since Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I wanted to get this in. As I look back through this tough year, I highlight four items that I am thankful for as well as four items I am not so thankful for. Here they are...

  I'm Thankful For...
  Being Alive and Functioning: The biggest thing I have to be thankful for this year is that I'm still alive, breathing and thinking. It has been one hellish year with everything going on in life. It may seem I had more darker moments to remember than brighter ones. But in the end, as long as I can wake up to another day, that's what ultimately matters. Whatever I think about what is going on is secondary to just living life. I hope to continue to live to take in whatever life throws at me.
  
  Still Working at a Job Earning Income: Despite my frequent comments on my loathing of responsibilities at my current occupation, I am thankful that I am still working at a job earning my own income. The country has been devastated by growing unemployment as companies continue to cut jobs to operate at a margin deemed satisfactory. I had to take a small pay cut for the first half of the year due to my company issuing a mandatory five day unpaid day off initiative, but I am still earning a decent amount. I will continue to need the income to help my family and pay for all expenditures.
  
  Reading David Foster Wallace's Kenyon College Commencement Speech: If there was one moment this year that blew open my mind, it was reading the late Wallace's Kenyon College commencement speech through the Wall Street Journal. Essentially, his message to the graduating students at the time was to take control over what you would normally think in all situations, especially those frequent petty tasks and annoyances you hate to deal with. Unfortunately, Wallace lost his battle against depression and committed suicide in 2008. I hope to heed these words and live life as best as I can in spite of all the negativity both the world brings and what I conjure up myself.
  
  Those of You Who Read What I Write: I don't know how many people here read my journal. To those who at least read my entries, I give you my thanks! I know my blog has been bogged down by my constant frustrations with work and life. I will do my best to write something else once in a while. In the meantime, I will continue to write my usual life experiences for you to read. In turn, I will continue to read what you have to share to the world. Thanks again!
  
  I'm Not Thankful For...
  My Responsibilities at Work: Those of you who have followed my blog know frequently about my unhappiness at work. I am doing my best to not let it get the best of me, but many times I have been constantly frustrated over what I have to take care of at work. I will not bother writing up all the complaints I have here, but it'd be enough to at least write and publish a book on.
  
  Petty Annoyances from Family: No one is perfect. Everyone is different. Everyone has issues. Some of the issues that grate me the most are the insignificant ones people take too much of an issue over. The most annoying insignificant arguments I tend to deal with comes within my family. Again, I will spare all of you from the details of what my family constantly frets over. I will say that I am no better than my father, mother and younger brother in all of the petty battles that ensue.
  
  People Thinking There's a "Magic Bullet" for Everything: Another thing that bothers me from what I have gathered this year is that so many people expect something to be done for them without much effort on their part. People think that there's a magic bullet for everything! If we did have a magic bullet for everything, wouldn't everyone be at peace with each other? Alas, there are those that still think things revolve around them and expect others to obey all of their desires. If you want something to happen, you have to get up and take care of it yourself!
  
  Spending Too Much on Non-Essential Items: One of the goals I set myself for this year was to not spend too much on non-essential items because of the lousy economy. I was doing well halfway through the year, but that all imploded in the second half. I really don't need all these video games and music albums to feed my inner-self. Next year, I will do my best to not spend as much as I did this year. You may never know when you will need that money for something much more meaningful.

  ---

  Black Friday Purchases

  • Left 4 Dead 2 [X-Box 360, $35 (on sale), Best Buy]
  • Assassin's Creed II [X-Box 360, $60, Best Buy, for my cousin]
  • Left 4 Dead 2 [PC, $30 (on sale), Gamestop, for younger brother]
  • PS3 Controller [$55, Gamestop, thought it was on sale... it wasn't]

  ---

  Future Entries

  • My Ten Favorite Music Albums of This Year
  • Not Having as Much Fun with This Generation's Video Games
  • Christmas / New Year's

  ---

  I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving in the United States! I hope all of you are doing well with your lives as of late! To those who still read this journal, I give my thanks! Till next entry...

  • Posted Nov 30, 2009 7:34 pm PT
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