- roguele_beau
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- Member since: Jun 14, 2005
- Last online: 11/02/09 9:51 am PT
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roguele_beau's Journal
The greatest birthday gift ever! 
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11Nov 09First off, happy Veteran's day! And on a totally unrelated note:
Yay for nature!
And now for the coolest of all: 
A smile from God! Wow!- Posted Nov 11, 2009 10:34 am PT
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- 8 Comments
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4Nov 09Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!' 'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom. Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! ! ! !! ! 'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!' ............ ............ .............
Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan. Life's too short not to enjoy... Even these silly ....little cute............. And clean jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds to me like she's ....... ! ......been .....sweeping around!!!- Posted Nov 4, 2009 10:52 am PT
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28Oct 09An elderly gentleman..... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure..' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty..' Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. . ..! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
- Posted Oct 28, 2009 2:13 pm PT
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- 8 Comments
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21Oct 09Polar Bear: I come in peace
Polar Bear: I come in Peace Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon
tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada's Hudson Bay..
The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the
polar bear wandered in.
It's hard to believe that this polar bear only needed to hug someone! 
The Polar Bear
returned every night that week to play with the dogs.
May you
always have love to share,
Health to spare,
And friends that care- Posted Oct 21, 2009 9:18 am PT
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- 9 Comments
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15Oct 09
- Posted Oct 15, 2009 9:11 am PT
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- 12 Comments
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30Sep 091. A day without sunshine is like night.
2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the
heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.- Posted Sep 30, 2009 10:18 am PT
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- 5 Comments
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23Sep 09APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2.. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7.. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. - Like this: It could be a right number.
13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!
18.. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead! 20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the one's that mind, don't matter. 21. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
PS Guess who FINALLY leveled up?! Whoo hoo!
- Posted Sep 23, 2009 9:25 am PT
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- 9 Comments
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16Sep 09Hey, remember me? I'm back from my fabulous vacation (I love the Pacific NW!) and I thought I'd give you a smile too...
I love these! Totally my logic!
- Posted Sep 16, 2009 10:22 am PT
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- 10 Comments
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2Sep 09Alright, I'm being very silly but why have a blog if not to be silly? I'm going out of town for a week and a half and will be without a computer
So I just wanted to say...don't forget me! - Posted Sep 2, 2009 10:01 am PT
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- 10 Comments
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26Aug 09BE CAREFUL! I know this is a lot of information but I really want you to know:
Please pass this on to your wife, significant other, daughter or daughter in law, mother and grandmother. It might save a life. Life saving!
Because of recent abductions
In daylight hours, refresh yourself
of these things to do
in an emergency situation...
This is for you,
and for you to share
with your wife,
your children,
everyone you know.
After reading these 10 crucial tips,
forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful
in this crazy world we live in. 1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point
on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do! 2.. Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you....
Chances are that he is more interested
in your wallet and/or purse than you,
and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy..
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars
after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
(doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc.
DON'T DO THIS!)
The predator will be watching you, and this
is the perfect opportunity for him to get in
on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.. If someone
is in the car
with a gun
to your head
DO NOT DRIVE OFF,
Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead gun the engine
and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you.
If the person is in the back seat
they will get the worst of it .
As soon as the car crashes
bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body
in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting
into your car in a parking lot,
or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:
look around you,
look into your car,
at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van,
enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims
by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car
parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator
instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone
and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun
and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target)
4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying
to be sympathetic:
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle,
which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard
a crying baby on her porch the night before last,
and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door...'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax
women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,
but have had several calls by women saying that
they hear baby's cries outside their doors
when they're home alone at night. 10. Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle
of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a
burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your
outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and
then attack.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours!
Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because
the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on
America 's Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or the life of a loved one.- Posted Aug 26, 2009 9:53 am PT
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- 6 Comments
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19Aug 09Goofy and random but enjoy!
New Yorker toons- Posted Aug 19, 2009 9:30 am PT
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- 4 Comments
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12Aug 09An excellent way to treat racism
This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg , South Africa & London .. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. 'You obviously do not see it then?' she asked. 'You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.' 'Be calm please,' the hostess replied. 'Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available.' The hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. 'Madam,just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class.' Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued 'It is not usual fo r our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.' She turned to the black guy, and said, 'Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class.' At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up and applauded. This is a true story WELL DONE, British Airways- Posted Aug 12, 2009 9:25 am PT
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- 7 Comments
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11Aug 09
What's wrong with TV.com?? I suddenly can't login
- Posted Aug 11, 2009 1:15 pm PT
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- 4 Comments
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5Aug 09Some old, some new..... all cute........ Lots of great reasons why we should always carry a camera....
- Posted Aug 5, 2009 10:25 am PT
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- 10 Comments
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29Jul 09Ladies, Good evening and welcome to the 2009 Contractor Awards. And the Nominees are:
and the winner is.... * * * * * * * * 
Wow!- Posted Jul 29, 2009 9:35 am PT
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- 11 Comments
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22Jul 09
>_< Boo on glitches...go here to see: http://www.tv.com/users/roguele_beau/profile.php?tag=usermenu;profile
- Posted Jul 22, 2009 11:48 am PT
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- 1 Comment
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14Jul 09
Jump over to Tv.com for the answers, if you have trouble let me know!
- Posted Jul 14, 2009 10:50 am PT
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- 4 Comments
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8Jul 09Hey everybody! Thank you so much for your prayers!! Bill made it through the surgery remarkably well Now on a lighter note:
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I am not one of those people. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Don't worry I'll post the answers in a week!- Posted Jul 8, 2009 9:28 am PT
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- 4 Comments
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6Jul 09Please?? If I could just borrow a little of your power I'd be so grateful...a dear man in my life is having open heart surgery on Tuesday and if you could please say a prayer I'd would owe you forever! His name is Bill and he is one of the sweetest people I've ever known. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!
- Posted Jul 6, 2009 3:38 pm PT
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- 10 Comments
