• 6Jun 13

  Xbox One vs. Playstation 4

  There have been claims on the internet, from industry professionals, who have stated that the Xbox Ones colorful choice of business decisions in handling were wrong and will damage the company in the long run. As well, gamers are disappointed at the newly found focus at being an all-in-one home entertainment console, as opposed to the PS4s total game focus. Now lets stop and think for a minute; is the PS4s decision to focus on games really such a kosher idea?

  No, it's awful; just plain awful. If I went back to my PS2-playing self, and explained to me what would happen, I'd probably lose all respect for Sony, and then my lunch. Are you still not understanding it? Here, let me explain it: the PS4 is focusing on games from dozens of developers; the games are next-gen; next is the person who goes after you in Monopoly, which is also a game; gen is the generation of people who were hurt by the people who played Monopoly the most; those people were: the Nazis! Hitler was a huge fan of Monopoly, and played it while he sicked dogs on escaped Jews; dogs will be in the new Call of Duty game, releasing on PS4. Unfortunate Implications, indeed!

  

  Turns out the Nazis did in fact outlive the French Empire.

  But wait! Hitler had a brother named Ricky Martin. Ricky Martin was in a band called Menudo, which is a type of soup. Tomato is a type of soup. Tomato tomato Bob the tomato! A character from the Christian cartoon, Veggietales. Spongebob Squarepants is a cartoon, which has a character named Sandy Cheeks, which is from Texas. Texas, of course! Why didnt I think of it before? Zack Hawthorn lives in Texas. Zack is also the name of a character from Suite Life. In the episode The Ghost and Mr. Martin, he finds a long-lost compass for the ghost of the steam vessel, Jesse Belle's captain, Entineel. Ghost! Ghosts? Call of Duty: Ghosts, a first person shooter which is releasing later this year on, what else? The PS4.

  As you can deduct from the evidence I present here today, not only is the Xbox One a more entertaining and viable choice, its also a less deadly one. Do you possibly have a argument to counter my allegations? No? I rest my case.

  • Posted Jun 6, 2013 2:04 pm GMT
  • Category: Games
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 4Jun 13

  Qubo's Going Ultra-Badass With Their Programming

  You may or may not know what Qubo is; so in case you don't, Qubo is a 24-hour digital channel, filled to the brim with nothing but kids' shows. They're all either educational, Canadian, or 3-2-1 Penguins. Some goodies include Babar, 3-2-1 Penguins, Dragon, Zula Patrol, Rescue Heroes, Jacob Two Two, and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? during the normal pre-watershed hours.

  After the watershed, is Qubo's Night Owl block, which might as well be called "Filmation's Making a Comeback, B*tches!", since, besides two shows (Being Ian and Class of the Titans), it's entire line-up consists of Filmation; He-Man, She-Ra, Ghostbusters (no, not THOSE Ghostbusters; the real ones), and Bravestarr (sadly, no Star Trek: TAS as of yet). Night Owl used to air two of the best shows to grace Qubo, Spliced (the only TV-PG show ever on the channel; like a spiritual successor to Ren and Stimpy; currently airs on Teletoon, and only has one season) and Sitting Ducks (a great CGI cartoon based on a series of books about a gay couple: an alligator and a duck. Obviously, this element was removed for the adaption). Sadly, they were both removed about a year ago, and that sucks hard.

  

  R.I.P Spliced (April 1, 2010 - October 19, 2010)

  Qubo's quality has been deteriorating in recent months. Gone are shows like Rupert, Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse, and VeggieTales (which didn't really have very long of a run), as well as the two I mentioned earlier. It's gonna take a lot to turn Qubo's seasonal rot around, and fortunately, that's exactly what they've got coming.

  Beginning January 2014, Qubo will fire their guns atop a snowy mountain, and bring forth an avalanche of quality, most of which have not been seen in decades. January will bring us, among other stuff, Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM), Super Mario World, The Chipmunks, and *takes a deep breath* Animaniacs. June will bring us The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, and The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. And Finally, for Night Owl, October will bring us *inhales deeply* Sonic Underground, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show (that means 3 shows for both Sonic and Mario), Inspector Gadget, The Woody Woodpecker Show, Care Bares (Yeah, I said it), Tiny Toon Adventures, and, finally, Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

  Qubo is a breath of fresh air amidst all the vulgarity everywhere else on broadcast television, and is there for both the kids of the world, as well as the kids at heart; and with all these new, old shows on the horizon, Qubo will become the ultimate place for nostalgia.

  (In case you don't know, Qubo is a digital channel, and as such, can be only accessed with either a digital converter box with an antenna, or an HDTV and an antenna. It's channel number is 29.2).  

  • Posted Jun 4, 2013 5:03 am GMT
  • Category: TV
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 2Jun 13

  Call of Duty: A Tumor on the Face of Gaming?

  That title is a fabrication; merely there to get you to read this. Now that you're here, you might as well stay so I can offer you an un-biased opinion of the series.

  They're not bad. "What?! Are you mad? You bloody, sniveling moron!" I can understand that many of you are offended at the very thought of anything nice to say about the series, but allow me to drop the bomb again, in case you missed it, and don't wanna go back and double check. They're not bad. In fact, I would add that some of them are pretty good, even great.

  

  A normal day in the world of Call of Duty.

  In case you have quite literally been under a rock, or in a Turkish prison for the last 6 years (you'd be better off under the rock); allow me to fill you in about the series: Call of Duty was a 2003 first-person computer game created by Infinity Ward, with a narrative set in World War II, which just happened to spawn a couple of sequels. 2 was a launch title for the Xbox 360, and kept the WWII theme of its predecessor. Soon after, 3 was released on many consoles, as well as a launch title on the Playstation 3, and also had the WWII theme. From this point, you may or may not have heard of the series, because it was not very intrusive; they were just a trilogy of FPS, and not exactly pervasively popular. Then, in the Fall of 2007, Infinity Ward released their Magnum Opus, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

  Now the series was cool! It was set in modern times, opposed to the WWII setting of the originals, with a wholly epic narrative, innovative, massively popular online multiplayer; and it all came in box with a shiny, new M-rating. At this point in time, you couldn't go anywhere on the internet, or hang out with you gamer friends without hearing about this amazing shooter.

  After COD4, another studio, Treyarch, released the fifth game, which would serve as a prologue to their Black Ops series: World at War. It returned to the WWII setting of the originals. It introduced an element which would later become the only reason some people bought the Treyarch games: online/local co-op zombie murdering!

  

  In 2009, Infinity Ward released Modern Warfare 2, which, like 4, won numerous GOTY awards. This is the point when people started getting hit with "Call of Duty Fatigue". The mulitplayer had some pretty whack servers, and was somewhat glitchy. The story was also cited as being lame and uninspired. It also generated controversy when it came to a mission that allowed you to murder innocent people inside of an airport; the controversy may have made it seem amazing, but in reality, it wasn't a very fun mission, and was actually brutally, unfairly hard.

  Many people who left the COD ship after MW2 would end up missing out on Treyarch's next game in the series: Black Ops. It included much improved multiplayer servers, and an advanced version of zombies; as well as an intricate, epic (mind-screw) of a narrative, set in the Cold War. This is the point where people started to notice the annual releases, as well the alternating between Infinity Ward and Treyarch. Most didn't sit with this too well, claiming that Activision (the publisher of the series) was just milking stupid gamers, and kept releasing the same game every year with a palette swap, with a hefty price tag of $60, along with another $40 for all the DLC level packs.

  

  The most badass zombie killers in history.

  At no point did this piss people off more than with the release of Modern Warfare 3. With a subpar campaign, lame multiplayer, and not very many changes, additions, or redeeming values; a lot of people had completely written off the series as garbage (you wouldn't know this due to all the hundreds of millions the series makes each year). Those people would miss out on what is perhaps the the greatest installment of the series since 4.

  Black Ops 2. Black Ops 2 was the first time in the series since World at War with significant new additions. The campaign was better than ever, with truly epic moments and quality writing. The zombies had been tweaked, and the multiplayer was very much revamped, with lots of new toys and levels. It now featured the ability to offer color commentary during matches, giving the whole affair an e-sport feel.

  

  Black Ops 2 has the best graphics of the series; being the newest, this is rightfully so.

  Now that you're all caught up, let me tell you just what makes the series great: the controls. The controls are fantastic. Even if you hate the games, you have to admit they control very smoothly, and are fun to play, even though they're just "mindless shooters". The campaigns, even if they don't have great stories, or the best writing, are undeniably epic, with some very memorable set-pieces (such as the "All Ghillied Up" mission from 4), among the most epic of this generation.

  A new entry, Ghosts, is scheduled for release this year, for next-gen consoles, a year after Black Ops 2; and will include a new engine, dogs, and AI-powered tropical fish. Even though the games are released annually, they are worked on by 2 separate developers, who work on the games for about two years before they are released to the general public. The development may sound troubling, but the games aren't broken, so its not a problem.

  

  Those fish are the most next-gen thing I've ever seen.

  Whether or not you enjoy Call of Duty, it is firmly planted in our culture. Small-town video game stores have entire tournaments set around the games, and millions flock to the store each year, with a $60 in their pocket, patiently waiting to dive into some fast-paced, mindless multiplayer fun; and epic, if sometimes dumb, narratives.

  While it may not reach the levels of quality associated with the likes of Bioshock and Half-Life, the Call of Duty series contains considerably fun First-Person shooters with smooth, fluent controls. Flame on, internet. Flame on.

  • Posted Jun 2, 2013 7:38 pm GMT
  • Category: Editorial
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg

See Previous Blog Posts »