I went through the entire story and made small edits and tweaks here and there to tighten it up and smooth it out.

Please check it out if you haven't already: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Chapter Twenty Nine
Shatter Point


Sam sat with Dean, still holding Lauren’s other hand, unable to really comprehend it all, torn between his own grief and the need to help his brother through this.

John’s voice broke the silence, “Dean, we’ll wait for you at the car.”

Sam looked up at him, shaking his head no. “She asked me to stay with him,” he said quietly, but Dean just shook his head and motioned toward the door for them to leave. For once, his father knew exactly what he needed.

Dean held her body in his arms and stared down at her. This isn’t happening, this can’t be happening, it’s a nightmare. I will wake up from this and she’ll still be here. I’m not hunting the demon anymore; we’ll just go back to a normal life. I’ll convince her somehow, because I cannot live without her. I just can’t. Stay calm, be in control, it’s okay; it’s just a dream, just a really bad dream. Wake up Dean, wake up!

Deep down, Dean knew that this was no dream. He knew this because the voice was still there, taunting him, reminding him that he will never be happy. That every good thing that came into his life came at a price, and he would never be paid in full.

Daybreak began to creep in through rusted holes in the roof of the warehouse, illuminating his surroundings. A beam of sunlight fell on Lauren’s face and for that moment, she was the girl he’d fallen in love with all those years ago, before she knew about demons and death, before Angel. He brushed the hair back from her eyes, and wiped the blood from her face with his shirt, smiling down at her, tracing the laugh lines around her eyes and mouth with his finger, memorizing again the features he knew better than his own. Memorizing them again, because in a very short time, he was never going to see those features again and all he would have would be his memories. He leaned down and kissed her forehead as he had done so many times before, watching for the smile that always greeted him after that gesture, but it never appeared.

An hour later, Dean walked silently out to the car, carrying Lauren delicately in his arms. Sam opened the door to the back seat and allowed him to get in, closing the door behind him, not saying a word.

---

In the days following Lauren’s death, Dean went through all the motions like a robot. They had brought her body back to Tampa for cremation and the funeral ceremony. Sam had made all of the arrangements because Dean hadn’t spoken a word since Lauren died.

Afterward, Dean and Sam went back to Lauren’s house. Dean stood in the bedroom he and Lauren had shared and stared out the window. He heard the doorbell ring, heard Sam say, “Hi Dad,” and invite him in. He heard the door to the bedroom open and his father say, “Can I come in?” He heard his father’s footsteps as he approached him.

“Dean,” he started.

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew what she had planned,” Dean said almost inaudibly.

“Yes, I knew,” John said simply.

“How long did you know?” Dean asked.

“Dean…”

“How long?” Dean repeated.

“A few days after Angel’s funeral, Lauren called me from the cabin at the lake and wanted me to help her figure out what the nightmares meant. It took about a month to piece most of it together.”

“You knew for over a year that she was going to die, and you said nothing,” Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I knew what Lauren wanted most in this world was to get rid of the things that haunt you so that you could be happy. She knew you wouldn’t let her do this, so she asked me to keep her secret. She loved you Dean, she just wanted to be a family again.”

Dean turned to face John, his eyes full of tears. “And now she’s dead and I have nothing! This is all your fault!” Dean yelled, pointing at his father before turning away again.

“Dean, I tried to talk her out of it once we realized the risk. We weren’t sure of anything except that it was the only way to get rid of the demon for good.”

“I don’t care about the damn demon, I just want her back!” his voice caught in his throat.

John put a hand on Dean’s shoulder, but Dean turned around and punched him in the face. He stumbled backward, felt the warmth, and tasted the blood on his lips.

“I deserved that. I deserve a lot worse. I’m sorry Dean,” John said.

“No, I’m sorry,” Dean shouted. “I’m sorry that I ever followed you on this stupid crusade to begin with. I’m sorry I ever listened to anything you had to say. I’m sorry for all the years that I lost with Lauren and Angel because you thought you knew how to protect me. This isn’t protection Dad; this is hell. And you put me here!”

“Dean,”

“Go. Get out. Get out of this house and get out of my life. I never want to see or talk to you again,” Dean said evenly.

“Fine, I’ll go, but I need to give you this first,” John said, reaching into his shirt pocket to pull out a dusty old envelope. “Lauren sent me this on Angel’s first birthday. It contains her final wishes at that time. I don’t think they’ve changed. I’d give anything to change what happened, to bring her back. I’m sorry Dean; I know I’m not perfect, but I’ve always tried to do what’s best for you. That’s what fathers do.”

“My father died when I was four years old,” Dean said quietly as he turned back to the window.

John Winchester turned around and walked out of Dean’s life without another word.

---

Dean stared at the urn containing Lauren’s ashes sitting on top of the dresser. He sat down heavily on the bed and looked at the envelope John had handed him. He pulled the single sheet of paper out and stared down at Lauren’s handwriting:

John,

I wanted to send along some pictures of Angel, since it’s the only real connection she can have with her father’s side of the family. She’s growing so fast, walking now. I will never forget what you’ve done for us and how you saved Angel’s life that night. God bless you and Dean for everything that you do to make this world a safer place.

My one regret is Dean. I wish that he would have had a chance to know his daughter and that Angel had a chance to know him. Every time I look at her, I see his eyes, his smile and his strength. I miss him so much that I feel my heart breaking a little more each day. I wish that there could have been another way, but I know now that’s not possible.

Anyway, I don’t want to ramble. There is another purpose for this letter. Underneath that tough guy exterior of yours, you believe in real love. You haven’t fooled me at all (smile). I am sending this to you because I know that you will understand.

I have already made arrangements to be cremated, but I left nothing public to let anyone know where my ashes are to be taken, just a notation that they are to be turned over to you. At the bottom of this letter is an address for a lake in the town where Dean and I met.

In a perfect world, Dean would handle this. But we don’t live in a perfect world John, so I am asking you to spread my ashes in that lake so that I can spend eternity in the most beautiful place I know… the place where I fell in love with your son.

Lauren


A few minutes later, Dean heard a soft knock on the door before Sam poked his head in.

“Can I get you anything?”

Dean shook his head. Sam sat down next to him on the bed and Dean handed him the letter, then got up and began to pack up his things. Sam finished reading the letter and looked up at his brother.

“I’m coming with you,” Sam said.

“No,” Dean replied.

“Dean, I don’t think you should be alone right now,” Sam objected.

“I’ve always been alone Sam,” Dean said. “I need to do this alone too. I’ll be back in a week.” With that, Dean grabbed the urn and walked out the door.

---

Dean sat on the dock, staring out at the water, with the urn sitting next to him unopened. He knew what she wanted, but he also knew that as soon as he opened that thing and let its contents out that he was going to have to face the truth. And he knew he couldn’t face it, not now, not ever.

He walked back into the cabin, urn in hand, still unopened.

---

Everyone has a shatter point. It’s the point at which the human psyche has taken all it can take; the point at which everything crumbles; the point at which everything falls apart. Lauren’s death had pushed Dean to his shatter point.

Dean Winchester had been surrounded by death since he was four years old. His mother, Sam’s girlfriend Jessica, some of the people he had tried to save, and countless paranormal entities along the way.

He always thought that he would be the first to go. That some spirit or demon would take him out and he would die doing what he was made to do, protecting others. He never thought that he would have to live through this. He never thought that Sam would ever be safe while he was still alive.

In destroying the demon, Lauren had released Dean from the responsibility he had since he was four years old – keeping Sam safe. The demon that had haunted their family and wanted Sam was now gone. She gave Dean the biggest gift anyone would think they could, but ultimately took away his purpose in this life. Now, Dean didn’t know what to do with himself.

He pulled his knees up to his chest. He felt like he was four years old again. He began to rock back and forth, clutching his legs tighter and tighter to his chest, closing his eyes, trying to fight back the memories. He didn’t want to remember, it hurt too much.

He pushed his hands against his temples, willing the memories to go away. For hours, they kept coming, replaying over and over in his head as he cried like he had never cried before: their first kiss, making love to her for the first time, her smile, buying the ring, finding her again, pushing Angel on the swing, Angel calling him Daddy for the first time, Lauren’s smile, Angel’s smile, the love in their eyes when they looked at him, the way they trusted him, the tears in Lauren’s eyes when he’d asked her to marry him, the feeling in his heart when she’d said yes, the pain when Angel had died, the hope that he felt when Lauren had held his hand for that split second at the lake, the grin on her face the night she’d let him back into her heart, the happy tears in her eyes when they laid there together afterward, the way she could lay her hand on his forehead or his cheek and smile at him and melt the whole world away, Meg and the dagger, Angel, the blood, and the fire, Lauren, the demon, the blood, all that blood, Lauren’s face when he told her not to give up on him and the final word she ever spoke to him: “Never.”

It echoed in his head now, “Never. Never. Never.”

Nobody needs me here anymore. I’ve failed. Sam is safe, he doesn’t need me. Dad… well, Dad can go straight to hell. The demon is gone; the threat has been extinguished. Angel’s gone. Lauren’s gone. Sam is safe. I’m tired. I miss my little girl. I miss Lauren. I’m alone, always alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore; I want to be with them.

You can be, a voice whispered in the darkness.

He knew that voice, and he knew it was right. It had always been right. Missouri had been wrong. It wasn’t the devil talking to him, it was his conscience, the truth of who he was and what his life had become.

You don’t have to be alone anymore Dean. You can be with Lauren and Angel again. There is a way. The voice was softer now, kind and sympathetic.

You’re tired. It’s time to rest. You’ve done your job, fulfilled your purpose in this life. It’s time to move on to the next, be with your family, be happy, really, truly happy and stay that way forever. You don’t have to be alone anymore. Join Lauren and Angel; they’re waiting for you.

An old song began playing itself in Dean's head now, the lyrics soothing him:

Love of two is one. Here but now they're gone. Came the last night of sadness. And it was clear she couldn't go on. The door was open and the wind appeared. The candles blew and then disappeared. The curtains flew then he appeared (saying don't be afraid). Come on baby (and she had no fear). And she ran to him (then they started to fly).

Romeo and Juliet are together in eternity.

Dean stopped rocking. He reached into his jacket pocket and slowly pulled out his gun. He ran his fingers over its polished edges, felt the soft curves of its lines, felt it calling him. He rubbed his left hand over his tired eyes and face.

The pistol was cool against his skin, soothing the pounding in his head as it caressed his temple, chasing the fear and loneliness away. He felt his pain start to ease as he pulled the hammer back and placed his index finger on the trigger.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Chapter Twenty Eight
The Final Battle


“Xaphan,” Lauren said finally. “Your timing is perfect. I have presents for you!”

“Xaphan?” John asked. “As in one of the fallen angels who sided with Satan Xaphan? As in the one who came up with the idea to set heaven on fire Xaphan?”

“One and the same,” Xaphan said.

“It’s him,” Sam said. “The one who took Mom, and Jess!”

“Right again,” the demon smiled, his eyes glowing.

“Of course it’s him, the signs were all there,” Dean said.

“About that,” Lauren began. “I hacked the websites, made it all up to get you here. I knew he couldn’t resist all three Winchesters in the same place at the same time,” she smiled, looking at the demon now.

Father and sons looked at each other and realized they’d been suckered.

“I don’t understand,” Sam said. “Lauren, after everything this demon has put our families through, why would you do this?”

Meg rose to her feet now, angry, and more than a little sore from the blow from the pipe. “I’ve had about enough of you,” she screamed at Lauren, gesturing at her with the same movement of her arm that had thrown the three men into a wall not long before that. But with Lauren, it only threw her back a couple of feet and she kept her balance fairly easily.

“Gee Meg, no protein shake this morning?” Lauren asked. Dean, Sam and John gaped as Lauren responded with her own arm movement that threw Meg halfway across the room.

“You’ve been holding out on me Lauren,” Xaphan said.

“You don’t know the half of it,” she said, glaring.

“And you forget who you’re dealing with,” he reminded her, pinning her to the wall opposite Dean. “Did you really think that you could lure me into a trap and finish me off?”

“I was counting on it,” Lauren said.

Dean was speechless. Everything he’d done to try to keep her safe, keep his whole family safe, and here they all were, at the mercy of the very thing he’d promised her he would destroy.

Sam tried desperately to focus on the Colt and finish this before his vision became reality.

“This throwing us up against the wall deal is getting pretty old, haven’t you got any other tricks?” Lauren asked.

Xaphan turned to face her now, staring at her with his yellow eyes. Lauren yelled out in pain as blood began to appear around her abdomen.

“Lauren!” Dean yelled.

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Lauren said to the demon.

“You refer to the prophecy about the elements?” Xaphan asked, laughing. “I suppose it’s possible that I missed you as an infant and that you are one of them, but your child is gone.”

“She’s even more powerful now than she ever was in this life!” Lauren responded.

“What do you think she’s Obi Wan Kenobi?” Meg scoffed, changing her voice to mimic Alec Guiness, “Strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine?”

“Something like that,” Lauren sneered.

Meg stalked toward Lauren now, taunting her. “She’s dead and gone. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten. I took a dagger and slit your daughter’s throat.”

“You know Meg, sometimes you talk too much!” Lauren practically spat. Meg whirled as she heard a gun cock behind her, turning to find herself staring down the barrel of the Colt, suspended in mid-air, firing its last bullet into her forehead.

Dean and John stared at Sam, but he only shook his head. “It wasn’t me!”

“Damn, I thought she’d never shut up!” Lauren said, almost laughing.

“What the hell did you do?” Dean yelled, “That was the last bullet!”

The demon whirled on Lauren now, howling. He stared at her, but responded to Dean. “Your little girlfriend here thinks she has it all figured out. She knows the Colt won’t work on me. Sam tried to shoot me with it, remember?”

“I thought I’d missed,” Sam said.

“Only one way,” Lauren said, her breathing more labored now.

Dean felt a tingling in his chest and braced himself for the demon to execute all of them on the spot, but there was no pain. The demon was focused on Lauren now, furious over Meg’s death. “You made a terrible miscalculation Lauren, and it’s going to cost you everything, and everyone.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Lauren said.

“I’m surprised I didn’t sense your abilities before,” Xaphan replied thoughtfully.

“Yeah, funny about that, don’t you think? I wonder how many others you’ve missed,” Lauren said.

The demon began attacking Lauren a little more strongly now, and she cried out in pain, bleeding more intensely than before, but Xaphan had decided that a slow death would suit his purposes.

John and Sam were fighting desperately against the invisible bonds which pinned them to the wall.

“Lauren! Come on you son of a bi*ch, why are you bothering with her?” Dean was trying to deflect the demon’s attention from Lauren. “I killed your son, remember?” Xaphan didn’t seem to hear him, focusing on Lauren and not wavering.

The tingling in Dean’s chest grew stronger and he realized that it was coming from where his amulet rested. Suddenly, he heard Lauren talking to him. The amulet Dean, it hid my abilities from Xaphan when I was a baby. It hides yours too. Dean snapped his head up, eyes wide, staring at Lauren. Lauren was fighting hard not to scream, her face contorted, feeling her flesh start to split open. Then she looked up at Dean with determination and nodded one time.

Dean’s heart began racing now, desperate to save Lauren, unable to really believe what was happening. Angel’s the key Dean, help me reach her. It has to be all three of us, the family. Call to Angel. I can’t hold on much longer Dean, we have to do this together! Dean closed his eyes, head down, focusing. The amulet fell from his neck.

“No!” Sam screamed. John looked at him. “My vision. It’s happening. No!” Sam wanted to close his eyes, not see what was about to happen.

The demon whirled around to face Dean as soon as the amulet fell, his eyes crazed. “You?!” he said incredulously, and Dean began to bleed too.

Lauren looked up now, “God’s had enough Xaphan,” she said quietly.

He looked back at her, laughing. “There have to be three elements Lauren. You really should have been more thorough in your research.”

“You forget what day it is,” Lauren responded, using every ounce of her strength. Her head dropped again, the only thing holding her up was the demon’s lock on her body.

“Dean?” John said now, looking from Lauren to Dean and back again. Lauren looked bad. She can’t take much more of this. John’s breath caught in his chest. Will any of us live through this?

“November 2nd,” Sam yelled suddenly. “All Souls Day! The intercession of the faithfully departed… the joining of the living…..and the dead…”

Xaphan’s eyes grew huge and he whirled back to face Lauren, determined to finish the job. The bleeding grew worse.

Suddenly, in front of John and Sam, a small light appeared, growing steadily until it evaporated to reveal a young girl.

“Angel?” John and Sam yelled at the same time.

Dean looked up quickly, “Angel?” he looked at her, unsure of his own eyes.

“Daddy,” she smiled at him.

“Honey?” Dean said, his eyes filling with tears. “Lauren, she’s here,” he said, looking at Lauren now.

Lauren lifted her head, the faintest hint of a smile on her face. “I knew you’d make it,” she said.

Xaphan began laughing now, almost cackling.

Dean was staring at Angel, smiling at her, mesmerized by the glow of her small body as she stood there beaming with light all around her.

“Daddy,” Angel said a little reproachfully. “We have a job to do.”

Angel looked at the demon and then at both of her parents. Suddenly a blinding light radiated from her chest to Lauren’s, from Lauren’s to Dean’s, then back to Angel’s, forming a triangle between them, surrounding Xaphan. He screamed in surprise and then howled in agony as the light joined itself in the middle of the triangle and blew him apart. Immediately following, Angel disappeared again.

Sam, John, and Dean were released from their bonds and Lauren slumped to the floor.

“Angel?” Dean said, looking around desperately, but she was gone. “Lauren!” he yelled, running to her. “Dad, go get the car, now!” He cradled Lauren in his arms, talking to her, “it’s going to be ok”. Sam went around to her other side.

“Sam,” Lauren said, reaching for his hand.

“Yeah?” Sam looked at her with tear-filled eyes.

“You take care of your brother for me, ok? Stick around, for a little while anyway. He needs you, you know?”

“Don’t you do this Lauren, not now, not after everything that’s happened. You hold on, do you hear me?” Dean yelled.

“Don't say goodbye to me. We’re going to get you to the hospital,” Sam said. “It’s going to be ok.”

“Sammy,” she said, starting to cry. “You and I both know that’s not true.”

Dean looked from Lauren to Sam and back again. “Lauren, why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“If I had told you, Xaphan would have sensed your thoughts and we wouldn’t have had a chance.”

Dean swallowed hard. “I heard you talking to me, telling me to call Angel. I heard you.”

“I knew you would,” she smiled. “Dean, your family is safe. You don’t have to worry about keeping Sam from the demon anymore. John’s quest is over. You can start to heal now.”

“We can heal now,” Dean said, panic edging into his voice. “You’re my family too. We can all heal now.”

“I’m sorry Dean,” Lauren said sorrowfully.

Dean lifted her left hand and showed her the ring. “You promised me happily ever after, remember? I’m going to hold you to it,” he said through tears. “Don’t you leave me!”

“’Til death do us part,” she said with a sad smile. “I love you Dean,” she said, her voice getting weaker and her breathing shallower. “I always have.” She looked away from him now, past Sam. She took a sharp breath. “She’s here!”

“Who?” Dean said, looking around.

“Angel, she’s here,” Lauren repeated.

Dean looked around frantically. “I don’t see anything Lauren.”

Lauren looked at Dean again. “No one goes alone,” she said.

“Lauren, please, I need you!” Dean pleaded.

Sam was crying openly now, his heart breaking for his brother. John came running back in, about to tell them the car was right out front, suddenly realizing he was too late.

“She says it’s time to go now,” Lauren said.

“No!” Dean shouted. “Lauren, no! Don’t you give up on me!”

She reached up to touch his cheek and smiled. “Never!” Her eyes closed, her hand fell, and her body went limp.

And the lights in Dean Winchester’s world went out.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Chapter Twenty Seven
Preparing For War


Lauren was slumped against Dean unmoving when Sam came in the door. “What happened?” he asked with wide eyes as Dean picked her up and carried her over to the bed.

“I’m not sure, she was staring out the window talking to herself and just collapsed,” Dean said, worried. “She’s got a fever; go get some cool washcloths out of the bathroom and some Tylenol out of the bag she keeps in there, please?”

“There’s no Tylenol in here Dean,” Sam said a minute later, coming out with a couple of washcloths.

Lauren started to come out of it now, slowly regaining consciousness. “I took the last ones a couple days ago, forgot to get more,” she said weakly.

“More headaches?” Dean asked.

Lauren nodded silently, “there’s a convenience store in town, mind getting me some more?”

“You going to be okay until I get back?” Dean asked. She had sweat running down her cheeks and was breathing hard.

Lauren nodded, “Just go.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her Dean,” Sam said. Dean sighed and grabbed the keys, heading out the door to the local town. Sam heard the Impala rev up and head out.

“You ok Lauren?” he asked, obviously concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” she smiled, but he wasn’t convinced. He took her hand in his own and then froze, his head pounding suddenly, a vision sweeping over him.

“Sam?” Lauren said, “What is it?”

Sam rubbed his temples fiercely. He hadn’t had a vision since the one he’d had that brought them to Tampa when Lauren was first attacked by the demon. He’d learned not to try to fight them; just let them take their course. When it was over, he looked up at Lauren with tears in his eyes. “Lauren, you…you…oh my God!”

“It’s ok Sam. At least now I know how it ends,” she said sadly. “I kind of thought it might be that way.”

He looked at her incredulously, realizing somehow she knew what he’d seen. “It’s not ok! We can stop this; we will stop this from happening.”

“You can’t tell Dean about this. Promise me you won’t tell him, Sam!” she said desperately, squeezing his hand as hard as she could manage, her eyes pleading with him.

“I can’t keep this from him Lauren,” Sam started.

“You have to Sam, it’s the only way to keep him safe,” Lauren said, “I need you to do something for me.” Sam looked at her again, the tears running freely down his cheeks now. “Think you can find something to keep you busy for a couple of days, give us some time together?”

“Sure,” he smiled for a moment. Then, a look of slow realization came over his face. “So you can say goodbye?” Lauren looked away and said nothing.

They sat there in silence until they heard the car pull into the parking lot again. Lauren squeezed Sam’s hand and he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I love you Sam, please do this for me.”

“I love you too,” he gulped.

Dean came in with a bottle of water and the Tylenol, giving it to Lauren who pulled herself upright.

“Those cool washcloths helped, thanks Sam,” Dean said as he realized her temperature had already come down some.

“No problem, glad to help,” Sam replied.

“You ok little brother?” Dean asked him.

“Yeah, just tired, I guess. I’m going back to my room, grab a shower,” he said as he left.

Sam paced back and forth in his own motel room now. What am I going to do? I have to tell him. Do I really have to choose between my brother and my best friend? Because in the end, that’s what this was about. He decided he wasn’t going to have to make that choice. I will give Lauren her couple of days, but I will spend that entire time finding a way out of this. I can do this. He told Dean to just spend some time with Lauren and he would let them know when he found their next gig.

A few days later, Sam realized that Lauren was right. “We got a lead on the demon,” Dean said intently when they went to breakfast that morning.

“Really?” Sam said. “Where?”

“Some remote island. The signs have started up again,” Dean said, scarfing down his bacon and eggs.

Sam nodded. Lauren looked up at him silently. “Alright,” Sam said. “When do we go?”

Lauren smiled then, “right after breakfast!”

“What about Dad?” Sam asked Dean.

“What about him?” Dean replied.

“You did call him right; he’s meeting us there?” Sam said.

“No, I’m not having him run off half-cocked. You know how he is about this demon Sam. It’s our turn to protect him, mostly from himself,” Dean said with finality.

“Dean,” Sam began.

“End of discussion Sam!”

---

“You do realize we’re going to have to fly Dean,” Sam said when they were on the road.

”Nope, we’re going by sea, and no customs either, so we can take whatever we need,” Dean replied.

They arrived on the island a couple of days later and set up in a three bedroom cabin in the woods. The information they had isolated the point of attack to a three mile radius. There were no homes in the area, just a small abandoned warehouse. That’s where they would start.

That morning, Lauren came out of the bathroom with a confused look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked.

“My ring’s missing,” Lauren said sadly.

“Did you take it off somewhere?” he asked.

“I had it when we left to come here, and I remember taking it off before I showered yesterday, but I could have sworn I put it right back on afterward. I’ve looked everywhere,” she said.

“We’ll find it,” Dean said, kissing her lightly on the forehead.

The three went through their routines as normal, acting like it was any other hunt, packing everything they could think of. Sam came out of the bedroom, bag in hand, and saw Lauren and Dean gathering their things on the living room table.

“Dean, she can’t go,” Sam said.

“Already thought of it Sammy,” Dean said as he grabbed Lauren from behind, pulling her into a chair and beginning to tie her hands behind it.

“Dean, we talked about this, you promised,” Lauren said angrily, struggling to get free from his grip as he was securing the ropes.

“It’s too dangerous Lauren,” Dean said.

“Sam, you promised you wouldn’t tell him,” Lauren yelled at Sam, tears building in her eyes.

“Tell me what?” Dean said, looking from Lauren to Sam.

“Dean, please, I have to be part of this. This is personal. This thing killed my parents, my brother, his daughter took our little girl, please,” Lauren pleaded.

Dean looked at her now, his heart filling, and wavered, reconsidering.

“Dean, if you let her come, she’ll die. I saw it,” Sam said.

“Sam!” Lauren screamed.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked Sam.

“I had another vision. We were confronting the demon, and he killed Lauren,” Sam said matter-of-factly.

“And you waited to tell me this until now, why exactly?” Dean thundered.

“She asked me not to, and I was afraid of splitting us up until it was time to go. In my vision, we’re all together when it happens.”

“Tell him who we are Sam,” Lauren said indignantly. “In your vision, John was there too, right? That vision isn’t coming true tonight Sam. Dean, you have to let me go with you. I have got to be there. You have to trust me!”

Dean knelt down by the chair Lauren was in and put his hand softly on her cheek, looking her straight in the eyes. “Lauren, you’re my whole world. If anything happened to you,” his voice cracked. “I don’t know what I’d do. I’m not going to risk it. I’m going to get rid of this thing for good, so that you and I can finally get married and have that forever after we’ve been talking about,” he smiled, kissing her softly.

She returned his kiss like it was the last one they would ever share, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Dean,” she locked his eyes in her gaze, begging now. “If you go without me, you’re not coming back,” she said. “You and Sam will both die tonight, please don’t go,” she began to sob.

“I’ve been doing this a long time,” he said, stroking her hair, trying to reassure her. “I am not dying tonight. I’ve got everything to live for, because I’m coming back for you!” He turned and joined Sam at the doorway.

“I’m sorry Lauren,” Sam said quietly as he joined his brother. “I’m sorry.”

Lauren hung her head and cried as the door closed behind them.

---

They saw no sense in salting the warehouse because they wanted the demon to be there. Dean had the Colt and the last bullet, ready to make their move. They were there about five minutes when they heard something behind them.

“Show your face you son of a bi*ch!” Dean said whipping around.

Out from the shadows with his hands up, stepped John Winchester. “Hi boys,” he said quietly. Dean and Sam stared open-mouthed.

“Where’s Lauren?” John asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Back at the cabin, safe. How the hell did you find us?” Dean asked.

“She has to be here,” John practically shouted. “It’s the only way!”

“What are you talking about?” Sam said.

“We don’t have time for this,” John said. “We have to get out of here now!”

“Dad, it’s ok, we have the Colt!” Dean said exasperated, hand in the air for emphasis as he and Sam followed John back toward the entrance.

“Going somewhere boys?” a familiar voice said as it snatched the Colt from Dean’s hand and sent all three colliding into a wall.

---

Dean woke up; his head hurting as he slowly raised it to look at his surroundings. This routine was starting to get old. Sam and John were pinned to one wall about ten feet away from the one he was adorning. He struggled, only to have his head snapped back against the wall.

“Miss me baby?” a voice said to his left.

“Meg,” Dean said. “This is perfect. You’re just who I wanted to see,” he grinned defiantly.

She drew closer to him now, breathing hot along his neck. “I missed you too,” she whispered. “You know,” she said, looking down at her hand, “if I were Lauren, I would have asked for a bigger stone. Lord knows she’s earned it dealing with your family and all you’ve put her through all these years. Still, it was a nice thought. Very sweet, I didn’t think you had it in you to be honest. But, fun’s over for Lauren. You’re mine now, and I don’t like to share,” Meg said, approaching him again.

“You’re crazy! You killed my daughter!” Dean yelled, furious.

Meg cocked her head and looked at him. “Sorry about that. Try not to take it too personally. Besides,” she whispered, running her tongue along his ear. “We’ll make beautiful babies together, you just wait! I’ll make you forget all about the pain, and Angel, and Lauren. I’m all you need baby!”

“I don’t think so!” Lauren said from behind Meg as she slammed her in the back of the head with a pipe.

“Bi*ch stole my ring,” she said, removing it from Meg’s hand and placing it on her own.

Dean and Sam looked on in amazement. “How the hell did you get...” Dean began, but there was no time to finish his question as a dark swirling presence entered the room, gathering itself in the middle before taking human form.

Lauren backed away from Dean toward the center of the room, turning to face the yellow eyed demon. He eyed her carefully.

“Xaphan,” Lauren said finally. “Your timing is perfect. I have presents for you!”

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Author's note: I just published chapter 25 this afternoon, so please read the next post first if you haven't seen it yet.

Chapter Twenty Six
Elements


It still freaked Lauren out that she could move things with her mind sometimes. She walked outside with her cell phone and looked over her shoulder to make sure she was alone when she dialed the number.

“Hey, it’s me,” she said. “I’m afraid there’s been a complication. They found the link to the amulet. I guess Sam hacked into my old web searches and found the newspaper article from the fire.”

“That does complicate things, what did you tell them?”

“I told them the truth, what I found out about my parents, the fire, my brother, where I got the amulet, but that’s it,” Lauren responded.

“Lauren, you know if Dean finds out what’s going on here, it will ruin everything. He won’t stand for it.”

“John, I hate lying to him, not telling him everything we’ve found out.”

“I know, but you’re doing it to protect him. He loves you, and if he knows what a risk this is, there’s no way he’s going to see it through and then he and Sam both will probably die,” John replied. “How are things coming with your newfound gift? Have you been practicing?”

“Yeah, ‘use the Force Luke’,” she said sarcastically. “I’m such a freak!”

“You’re not a freak,” John reassured her. He hesitated. “Lauren, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done, everything you’re doing for my boys.”

“I don’t have a choice John. That bastard killed my parents, my brother, Mary, and who knows how many others? And his daughter, she took my little girl. I know it’s not Christian-like to want revenge and all, but how long is God going to put up with this crap?” Lauren asked.

“From what we’ve read, not much longer,” John replied. “Not much longer at all.”

“I’m not ready John,” Lauren said, fear taking over her voice.

“Lauren, you’re the strongest woman I know. You’ll be ready when the time comes. I’d give anything to be able to take this burden from you. I know how much you hate lying to him. Maybe this is a bad idea,” John’s voice cracked a little through the phone line.

“John, it’s never going to end unless we end it. You know that,” Lauren said

“I know. I just wish there was another way. You’d better go now before Dean discovers you’re talking to me.”

“Dean? Dean’s not the problem; that man spends more time in the shower and preening himself in front of the mirror than I do. I think he should have been born a woman. Sam might be about done though. I’ll be in touch,” she said as she clicked her phone closed.

She walked back into the motel room. Five minutes later, steam preceded Dean’s entrance into the main living area.

“Hey,” Dean said, “I’m sorry about earlier. I still wish you would have talked to me about this.”

“I was scared Dean, that’s all,” she replied.

He smiled then, changing the subject, “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Notice what?” Lauren asked.

“That you’d moved the ring from hanging on your necklace to back on your finger where it belongs,” he said, taking her left hand in his right and kissing it just below the ring, “I would have asked you again properly if I’d known you were ready to wear it again,” he said with a bit of a bow. “I didn’t want to push.”

“And that’s exactly why I’m ready to wear it again, because you didn’t push,” she smiled. “Thank you, again, for not giving up on me Dean.”

“Never,” he said, and then they both smiled, remembering the exchange at the lake. “I told you I knew you still loved me.”

“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?"

"Sure of us," he offered.

"Did you save me any hot water? I’m the one who went for a run this morning,” she teased him.

“Mmmmm, I like a sweaty woman,” Dean said in a low voice, arching his eyebrows at her flirtatiously.

“Is that a line, Dean Winchester?” she smiled back.

Dean’s response was a simple grin.

“How about I give you a reason to need another shower?” she smiled.

---

“Hey Dean,” Sam called his brother over to the table he was sitting at in a dive somewhere outside of Louisville.

Dean walked over to join Sam. “What is it?”

“I think I found a weakness for the demon,” Sam said, looking up at his brother, who was too busy staring at Lauren on the other side of the bar near the pool tables. “Dean, will you pay attention please?”

“I hate that. She’s as good at pumping men for information as I am the ladies. Come on! There’s no way she has to get that close to him to get her point across,” Dean said.

“You two crack me up. There’s no way in hell either one of you would do anything with someone else, yet when one of you is working the job, the other’s all squirrelly about it.”

Dean looked at Sam. “Squirrelly? There’s nothing squirrelly about me Sam. Sexy? Yes. Awesome brother? Yes. Squirrelly? No. I don’t do squirrelly Sam.”

“Whatever, will you just pay attention?” Sam said. Dean looked at the old book he was pointing at. “It says here that the fire demon’s weakness is a combination of three elements. When all three of these elements come together, the demon will be trapped and completely destroyed!”

“What? We have the Colt, we don’t need any elements,” Dean said, a little annoyed, glancing back over to where Lauren was flashing that trademark smile of hers at a rough looking young man. “Hey, is that her ass, that skirt is way too short! She never wears that skirt when we’re out. When did she get that skirt anyway?” The man put his hand on Lauren’s shoulder and started playing with her hair. Dean’s hackles were rising now. “If he touches her again,”

“Dean, relax! Lauren knows how to handle herself. She’s fine, let it go,” Sam chuckled. “So what do you think?”

“About what?”

“About the elements?” Sam asked, exasperated.

“I suppose a backup plan isn’t a bad idea. What are these elements?” Dean asked.

“It doesn’t say, just that all three together will destroy the demon,” Sam answered.

“Well that’s helpful Einstein, thanks!” Dean rolled his eyes as Sam shut the book with a thud.

Lauren winked at her newfound friend as he left the bar, walking past Sam and Dean as he did so. Dean gave him a dirty look, and then gave Lauren an obviously fake smile as she joined them at the table.

“So what did you find out?” he asked.

“Nothing, I came up dry,” she frowned.

“Came up dry? In that outfit?” Dean practically shouted.

Lauren smiled, reaching into her bra and pulling out a cocktail napkin. “Bingo!” she winked at Dean. “Let’s go.”

Dean huffed in disgust, “I hate it when she does that,” he said, following Lauren out to the Impala. Sam just laughed.

“Vampires? You’re kidding me right?” Sam asked when they got back to the motel. He had already packed his bag and was now in Dean and Lauren’s room.

“Nope, I don’t kid about vampires Sammy,” Lauren said matter-of-factly.

“God, now you’re calling me that?” Sam said, rolling his eyes. Lauren grinned. “It’s almost sick how much you enjoy this job, you know that?” Lauren’s eyes got bigger and lit up with a smile as she was packing up her things.

“I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again,” Dean remarked. “Vampires. Get’s funnier every damn time I hear it,” he shook his head. “Pop quiz, Queen of the Damned, what’s the best way to kill a vampire?”

“Only one way,” Lauren replied, slipping a machete into a custom holder on a utility type belt she’d made up for herself over the last few months. “Decapitation,” she said, smiling. “Let’s go,” she called over her shoulder as she headed outside.

“God I love that woman,” Dean sighed.

---

Dean sat up in bed one morning to find Lauren sitting in a chair, looking out the window of their motel room which faced a small pond. “Lauren?” he said cautiously. “What’s wrong?” She didn’t answer.

He got out of bed and walked over quietly to where Lauren was sitting. She was shaking her head no, her knees were pulled up to her chest, tears were streaming silently down her cheeks, and she was whispering to someone unseen, “It’s too soon. I’m not ready, I can’t. "

“Lauren, it’s ok, it’s just me,” he said, kneeling down beside the chair. He reached out to touch her shoulder, pulling it back quickly. She was burning up. “Sam!” he yelled as she collapsed against him unconscious.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Chapter Twenty Five
The Amulet


Dean’s eyes were intent on Lauren as he glanced from the laptop screen to her face. The newspaper headline read, “Baby Orphaned After Home Fire”.

Lauren sighed, “You guys will think I’m crazy.”

Sam looked at her sympathetically, “Lauren, in this line of work, nothing’s crazy anymore.”

Lauren ran her fingers through her hair and began to slowly pace the floor. “After Angel died, I started having these nightmares all the time. First, they were just about what happened to Angel: Meg, the knife, the fire, that sort of thing. But then the dreams changed. There was still a fire, but it wasn’t in the stable, it was somewhere else.”

“Where?” Sam asked.

“I wasn’t sure,” Lauren answered. And there were other people, but I didn’t recognize them. I thought it was just because of everything that was going on, my brain’s way of reacting to it all. Then Dean found me here, and later said that I was saying Mom and Dad in my sleep. It didn’t make sense to me, because my parents didn’t die in a fire.”

“Your adoptive parents didn’t die in a fire,” Dean reminded her.

“Exactly,” Lauren said. “My biological parents had given me up for adoption. I’d tried to find them years ago, but all the records were sealed. I got nowhere then, so I’d given up. It wasn’t until now that I really thought I should pursue it again. I just want all of this to be over, and the nightmares to stop. They’re getting more intense and I don’t know what they mean.”

“What happens in your dreams Lauren?” Sam asked.

“Well, it’s like when the demon came for Angel when she was a baby,” she said quietly. “There’s a baby in this crib and the baby’s mother comes in and gets pinned to the ceiling, the dad comes in to see what’s going on, the whole place catches fire and they all die. Except now I’m not so sure.”

“Not so sure about what?” Dean asked.

“That they all die. Because the baby in that picture? It’s me,” she said finally. “Apparently, my parents, my real parents didn’t put me up for adoption. They were killed in a fire. A fire that I apparently survived. I was six months old, to the day,” she said, her eyes settling on Dean, knowing that it was significant.

“But, you don’t have…” Sam began.

“Apparently, I had an older brother,” she continued. “He would have been four or five when our parents died if he had survived the fire that happened on his own six month birthday. I’m still trying to piece it all together really. I think the demon assumed I had abilities too and came for me. Maybe he spared me when he realized I didn’t have any, but why would he kill my parents then?” she wondered out loud, turning to stare out the window.

“What else have you found out?” Dean asked.

“The best I can figure out is that my parents saw something that night that led them to believe it wasn’t your typical fire. Kind of like what your Dad did when your Mom died. They found out the truth and became hunters themselves. They must have given me the amulet for protection after I was born.”

“So the amulet in the picture, it’s the same one that you gave me?” Dean asked. Sam looked at him curiously.

“Lauren’s the one who gave me this, after you went to college, right before Dad managed to split us up,” Dean told his brother. Now I know why he wears that thing all the time; it was from her. He had first noticed it when Dean picked him up from school to try to find Dad. Dean showered in it, slept in it and he never, ever took it off. The shape shifter had taken it from him when he assumed Dean’s form and Dean took it back after he killed him. What a chick-flick thing to do, keeping it all this time he thought to himself and smiled briefly, then looked up at Lauren again.

“It was in a box of things my adoptive parents had given me when I graduated from high school and moved into my own place. I didn’t know I had ever worn it until I found that newspaper article in my research the other day, but it looked kind of cool, so I started wearing it. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it, but I had gone to a psychic with some friends one day and she started muttering all this stuff about how it was meant to protect whoever was wearing it from evil and things like that. I didn’t believe in this stuff then and it kind of creeped me out after that, so I stopped wearing it. After what your dad told me when he was trying to split us up, then seeing what that thing had done to you Dean, I realized that it was probably true, and that’s why I gave it to you, for protection. According to what the psychic told me, it also protects the wearer from being possessed.”

“That would explain why Ellicott wasn’t able to get to you when he attacked you at the asylum Dean,” Sam said then, still feeling awful about what had happened there that night.

“Yeah,” Dean said quietly.

“Look guys, I don’t know what this all means, but now you know as much as I do,” Lauren said then.

“I’m sorry Lauren, about your parents. This has to have been tough for you to dig up,” Sam said, getting up now.

“Thanks Sam,” Lauren replied.

“I’m going to hit the shower,” Sam said, leaving the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on Lauren?” Dean asked after Sam had left. “With everything we’ve been through together, don’t you know you can tell me anything? Didn’t you think you could trust me?”

“Because I was afraid of the truth Dean. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find out,” Lauren admitted.

“Whatever it is, we can face it together,” he said then, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t keep secrets from me, ok? I can’t keep you safe if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.” He headed into the bathroom for his own shower.

“I’m not the one who needs to be kept safe Dean,” Lauren said almost silently after he’d closed the door. She looked at her cell phone sitting on the nightstand about fifteen feet away, bringing it to her hand without moving from where she stood. “You are.”

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Lauren was surprised at how lonely she felt after Dean had left to go get Sam.  It was like the hole in her heart had just opened up again.  She used to love spending time alone.  It didn’t matter now, she had to focus.  She had three days to try to figure out what the dreams meant.  She knew they had to mean something.  She spent her time doing research, training, or sitting by the lake, which was the only source of peace that she had.  She felt a connection to Angel there somehow, looking out over the water.  She’d always wanted to bring Angel there, to where she and Dean had fallen in love, where Angel had been conceived.  It seemed right that she would feel closest to Angel here.

She walked back into the house to make something resembling lunch, tripping over the laptop case as she’d walked past the table in the living room and stubbed her toe.  Dammit, she cursed silently to herself, stupid case!  And that’s when it first happened.  The laptop case slid across the floor like she had kicked it, but her foot was nowhere near it when it happened.  She stood motionless for a full minute.  It’s official; I’ve lost my mind!

Two days later, she was reading and reached for the iced tea she had left on the coffee table, tipping in her chair.  She could reach the end of the table, but not the glass.  She didn’t feel like getting up and was frustrated.  Suddenly, the glass moved across the table to her hand.  Of course it ended up on the floor, along with herself and the chair because she was so freaked out by the whole thing that she jumped, the weight shifting in her chair enough to tip it over and dump her on her butt.  She’d chalked the other day up to lack of sleep and just not realizing she had kicked the case and convinced herself it hadn’t really happened.  This was unmistakable.  That glass had really moved.  Ok, maybe there is a supernatural force at work here, a presence in the house.  But deep inside, she knew that wasn’t the case.  

---

Dean was relieved when he pulled up to the cabin and saw Lauren’s truck sitting there in the drive.  He had been a little worried that he would come back and find her gone.

“Lauren,” he said as he entered with Sam on his heels.  “We’re back,” he looked around the living room and poked his head in the bedroom.  “She’s probably out back,” he said as he started for the back door.

Sam had followed him out.  Lauren was sitting on the dock as she always did, staring out at the water with her back to the cabin.  Dean wasn’t kidding when he warned me about how thin she is.  His eyes went from Lauren’s back to Dean as he caught the slump in Dean’s shoulders after seeing her there.

“Mind if I go talk to her?” Sam asked.

“Go ahead,” Dean said resignedly.

“This has to be a mistake, it can’t be me; I’m not strong enough” Lauren was mumbling quietly and shaking her head as Sam approached.  She stopped talking suddenly, with her back still to the cabin.  “Hi Sam,” she said.

“Lauren, how did you know it was me?” Sam asked. 

Lauren hesitated for a minute, thinking.  “I don’t know; I just did.” 

“It’s getting cold out Lauren, why don’t you come inside and get warmed up,” Sam said, noting the goose bumps on her arms.

“In a little while,” she answered.

Sam walked around her then, sitting down in front her, sliding his legs under hers so they were like two pairs of scissors, edging closer to her, creating a diamond shape between their two torsos.

“Glad I’m wearing jeans,” Lauren said sarcastically.  “When did your legs get so long?”

“You remember this?” Sam said.

“You’re hopeless, you know that Sam?” she said. 

“Yeah, but you love me,” he smiled back.

She sighed deeply at the memory of the days when they first met, before he went away to school.  Whenever Lauren was upset about something and would clam up, Sam would sit with her like this, and pull her chin up, invading her personal space and giving her that look until she told him all her troubles. 

“It’s beautiful out here Lauren; I can’t believe I lived in this town and didn’t know about this place,” Sam said then.

“Yeah, it is.  Dean and I used to come out here a lot…” her voice trailed off and she was quiet again.  Sam pulled her chin up now and looked her dead in the face, expectantly. 

“Good God, you’ve perfected the puppy eyes,” she said after about ten seconds.  He smiled then.

“I’m your friend, I always have been,” he said.

She looked away from him then and back at the water.  “I know you are Sam.”  She took a deep breath.  “I talk to her out here a lot,” she said. 

Sam nodded.  “I know it’s hard Lauren, but…”

“She answers me Sam,” Lauren said suddenly, standing up then and walking to the edge of the dock.

Sam’s brows furrowed.  He got up and walked over to stand behind her, quiet and waiting for the rest.

“I’m going insane!  I can feel my mind just slipping away Sam,” she said, and Sam put his hands on her shoulders, running them down the length of her arms to rest on his hands on hers.  “I don’t know what to do anymore.  Something’s happening to me and I don’t know what it is.”  She leaned back against him now as silent tears ran down her cheeks.

“You’re not going insane Lauren,” Sam said, squeezing her tight and reassuring her.  “You’ve just been through hell.”

Dean looked on from a window inside the cabin, trying to fight the hurt that he felt that Lauren would feel like she could be more comfortable with Sam than with him.  Don’t be stupid Dean; at least she’s talking to somebody.

He watched them there for a few minutes, then saw them walking back up the dock toward the house holding hands and had to remind himself what good friends they had become before Dean had gotten involved with her and again after they’d all moved in together, when he’d shut her out and she was hurting so badly about it.  Sam might be exactly what she needs right now.  When they walked in the door, he could see that she’d been crying.  She surprised him by walking up to him and  whispering “I’m glad you’re back,” her lips lightly brushing his ear as she got close, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

He looked at her then, curious, as she walked into the kitchen.  “You guys must be hungry; I’ll make dinner.”

Dean looked at Sam after she disappeared around the corner.  “Well?” he asked.

“She’s a little unsure of herself right now, but I think it’s to be expected,” Sam answered.

Dean started tapping his foot nervously.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Nothing,” Dean replied.

“What?” he asked again.

“It’s just,” he sighed, “I wish…”

“You wish she could talk to you more, not confide in me?” Sam said, striking Dean with how perceptive he was.  Dean shrugged.

“She doesn’t feel threatened by me Dean.  She just needs a friend, a real friend that she doesn’t feel pressured to give something that she’s not able to give right now,” Sam said matter-of-factly.

“She told you that?” Dean asked; he had done his best not to pressure her.

“No, but she knows how you feel.  You guys can pretty much talk to each other without saying a word; it’s like you have this mental connection or something.  It doesn’t go unnoticed,” Sam smiled.  “I think deep down she wants to reconnect with you, she’s just not really comfortable in her own skin right now Dean.”

---

A week later they went on their first hunt as a team, a spirit of a teenage girl who had been murdered by her cheating boyfriend after she’d told him she was pregnant.  Dean was so worried about where Lauren was that he walked right into a hallway without looking first, checking behind him to see where Lauren had gone off to.  The spirit was right there and promptly knocked the gun out of his hand.  He heard, “Drop!” from his right as the thing took a swing at him and Sam took it out in one shot.

Lauren walked over to where Dean was on the floor and reached down to help him up.  “Dumb ass!” she called behind her as Dean was still dusting himself off.

“Saved your ass again!” Sam smirked as he and Dean fell in behind Lauren on the way to the front door.

“Shut up Sam,” Dean said, more than a little embarrassed.

---

She was a natural, and with every hunt, a little more of the old Lauren started to show itself.  A smile here, a laugh there, mostly when she saved one of the brothers after they did something stupid.  This was exactly what she needed.

But the dreams never left.  They still haunted her at night.  And she still got up each night at 2 am, sweating and scared and unsure of herself.  Dean knew she would go somewhere quiet, log into her laptop and sit there until dawn, looking for the next hunt, researching.  

They were closer now, starting to rebuild what they had before, but it had been a slow process.  It had been nearly eight months since Angel’s death and Lauren was just now able to start to be affectionate with Dean again, mostly in spontaneous moments when she wasn’t really thinking about it.  A wink here, a flirty smile there, a kiss every now and then, and the sarcastic comments were flying freely like they used to.

Sam tried not to say anything, afraid of jinxing it for Dean.  He was happy again, and Lauren seemed to be getting her self-confidence back.  They had brought beer back to the room after finishing up their latest hunt and Lauren hadn’t built her tolerance all the way back up again, so she was a bit tipsy after only two.  They been going through their teasing thing again in Sam’s hotel room (they had adjoining rooms this time) while he was trying to catch up on his e-mail. 

“Will you two get a room already?” Sam finally said, exasperated.

“We already have one!” Lauren laughed.  Dean looked at Sam, cocking his head to one side and half chuckling as he shrugged his shoulders.  He’d had more than two at this point and was starting to hit his groove.  Lauren stepped through the doorway to the room she and Dean were in, poking her head back through and pointing at Dean with her index finger, crooking it back to motion him into their room with a “come hither” look on her face.

Dean smiled and started to get up, then caught himself.  “I couldn’t take advantage of you in this situation,” he said after thinking about it.

“Screw that,” she said, grabbing his arm then.  “You need to learn to have a little fun in your life Dean Winchester!”  He pulled away long enough to grab two more beers from the fridge, raising his eyebrows at Sam as he allowed Lauren to drag him into the next room again. 

“Goodnight Sammy!” he said, winking as he started to close the door behind him, his eyes lit up in the biggest grin Sam had seen since he’d told him Lauren had agreed to marry him.  That seemed like a lifetime ago.  Damn you Meg for screwing up their lives like that!

“It’s about time!” Sam called after them as he slung a pillow at the doorway, laughing.

---

A few weeks later, Dean got up one morning to find Lauren sitting at the little coffee table in their motel room, laptop open, rubbing her temples forcefully.  The fact that she had quickly switched screens when he sat up in bed had not gone unnoticed.

“Another headache?” he asked, then heard a knock at the door.

“I’m fine,” she answered, getting up to greet Sam as he came over for morning coffee.  They got rooms next door to each other these days and Sam always came over as soon as he woke up.

“Hi Sam,” she smiled, standing on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek as she headed out the door.  “I’m going for a run,” she called over her shoulder to Dean as she left.

“What’s wrong with her?” Sam asked Dean as he closed the door behind him.

Dean sighed.  “She says nothing.”

“That wasn’t a real smile, you guys have a fight?” Sam asked.

“Nope,” Dean answered, “but she’s hiding something.  How are your computer skills these days little brother?”

---

Lauren came back in about an hour dripping sweat.  Dean and Sam were sitting at the coffee table in front of the laptop. 

“You boys find something for our next job,” she asked, taking the ponytail holder out of her hair. 

“Not sure yet,” Dean said.  He seemed angry. 

“What’s up?” Lauren asked, walking back over to where they were sitting, as Dean turned the laptop screen so that she could see it.

“Mind explaining this?” Dean asked evenly, as the screen revealed an old newspaper article with a picture of a baby wearing an amulet exactly like the one she had given Dean.
 

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Lauren suggested that Dean pick up Sam, feeling that it would be dangerous for him to be alone, especially if they got close to finding Meg. She had already taken advantage of the family being separated once to take Angel. Dean wanted John to come too, but he thought that would be too enticing for BigBad and insisted they weren’t ready for that confrontation yet.

Lauren said she couldn’t go home and was going to stay at the cabin. Sam still had three weeks before semester break, so they agreed that Dean would drive back to Tampa to pick him up when class let out. He didn’t like it, but Lauren promised him she would be at the cabin when he returned.

“Are we going to talk about them,” Dean finally asked Lauren after two days.

“Talk about what,” Lauren asked.

“The nightmares,” he replied. “Same time every night, 2 am, you wake up from a nightmare. And you’re not sleeping well to begin with. Talk to me.”

“Dean, Angel died at 2 am,” Lauren said quietly. Dean’s shoulders slumped. He hadn’t put it together. He felt like an idiot. “I didn’t realize you knew about the dreams. I told you I wanted to sleep in the other room,” she began.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” he said.

“It might help actually. I don’t like hurting you Dean, but I just can’t be with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back to what we had. Wouldn’t it be easier if…”

“No, it wouldn’t,” he said, cutting her off. “Tell me about them.”

“Come on Dean, my…..our daughter died. That would probably give anyone nightmares,” she said.

“I’d buy it if you didn’t keep calling out ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ over and over again when you’re having them,” he said.

Lauren was stunned. Is that who I’m dreaming about? They didn’t die in a fire, Dad was killed in a car accident and Mom had a stroke. “What?”

You keep saying “Mom No!” and “Dad No!” in your sleep before you wake up,” Dean answered.

“Dean, I don’t even remember the dreams when I wake up,” she said, looking away from him.

“You’re lying Lauren, I can tell. You’ve got to talk to me about this, let me help you!”

“You can’t help me Dean, I just need time. I’ve been through a lot, so have you. Everybody handles things differently. I just need time,” she turned away from him then and walked out to the lake.

Dean sighed. He didn’t feel right leaving her there, but it wasn’t fair to force her to go back home after what had happened there. He couldn’t be two places at one time, and it was weighing on him. He would feel much better when all three of them were together and he could protect them both.

---

Lauren had taken to her “training” like a pro right from the get-go. She had handled guns before and she was as good as Dean in computer skills so he just had to give her a few clues on search terms. They agreed they would start with “smaller” stuff. The kinds of things he and Sam had hunted while they were searching for John after Dean got Sam out of school.

The weight training was tough on Lauren. She had lost so much weight in the weeks following Angel’s death that a lot of her muscle had gone with it. Dean hadn’t suggested the weight training. That was Lauren’s idea. She didn’t want anything getting the upper hand on her, thus endangering Dean, Sam, or anyone else, because she wasn’t strong enough.

A nice side effect of the physical training was the pain. The pain kept her from thinking about the other things which tried to get her attention. The nightmares and lack of sleep were starting to take their toll on her body, but the pain helped her focus. The pain kept her going.

---

It was time for Dean to go get Sam. He eyeballed her as she sat cross-legged at the table, glued to her laptop screen once again.
“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, just tired,” she replied.

“Computer screen can’t be helping any,” he feigned a smile.

“I’ll be fine. Get out of here, go get Sam so we can get started on the real thing,” she almost smiled and there was a hint of light in her eyes as she’d said it. Dean could tell she was going to be good at hunting, it just scared him. But the best way for him to protect her was to not let her out of his sight and that’s why he hated leaving her. He would give up hunting forever if it meant keeping her, Sam and Dad safe. But he knew that hunting would never give him up. Something was always going to find him. He was a target now, his whole family was. And it ate away at him.

He was giving her instructions as he walked to the door so she’d walked with him. She saluted him and said “Yes sir,” as he opened the door.

“Hey, this stuff is important Lauren…. Jesus, I sound like Dad!” he said. He looked at her now, glad to see some of her color had returned and she was putting a little weight back on, albeit not much. “You be careful,” he said. “I’m driving straight through and back. I should be back in three days.”

“OK, three days,” she said.

“I love you,” Dean said. She said nothing, giving him that same I’m sorry look she always did when he told her that anymore, and cast her eyes downard. He turned to head for the Impala.

“Dean?” Lauren said behind him.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for leaving the journal so I can study up while you’re gone.”

“No problem,” he said, turning again to walk to the car.

“And Dean?” she said again.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for not giving up on me,” she said.

“Never!” he replied, smiling a little, coming back to the doorway and kissing her forehead, cupping her cheek in his hand. His breath caught when she put her hand on his own and held it for half a second. It was such a small thing, but he knew it was huge for her. “And I’m not giving up on us either,” he said, making eye contact with her then and holding it so that she knew he meant what he was saying. “I know you still love me Lauren, I can feel it. Even if you can’t.”

She deflected this by rolling her eyes at him, then sighed and said, “You just want down my pants, Dean Winchester,” giving him the first real smile he had seen since Angel died, winking despite herself. He’d thought he would never see that smile again.

“Best I ever had,” he smiled back at her.

“That’s a real compliment considering your history,” she said, trying to sound serious but he could tell she was teasing him.

“Ouch,” he said, putting his hand over his heart, taking a step or two backwards like he’d just been hit with something. “It’s still true!” he said leaning his head forward a little and winking back at her.

She shook her head, put her hand on his face, and pushed him out the door, closing it behind him as he walked to the car, grinning all the way.

After closing the door, Lauren sat down, smiling for a moment before putting her head in both hands and running them through her hair. She sat there for several minutes without moving.

No rest for the wicked, she said to herself finally, digging her cell phone out of her purse in the bedroom and then dialing in a number. A man’s voice picked up.

“Hey, it’s me. I don’t have much time. What have you been able to find out?” She wrote down some information in a note pad she had tucked inside her laptop case, and then flipped through the journal Dean had left. “I thought so,” she said finally. “OK, let me know if you find out anything else, ok? Thanks.”

---

Sam tossed his bags into the trunk of the Impala before climbing into the driver’s side so that Dean could get some sleep.

“What happened with Lauren,” he asked as Dean leaned his head back.

“Nothing really,” Dean replied.

“Are you guys…”

“No Sam, we didn’t get back together. She said she needs time,” Dean said a little stiffly. He didn’t want to answer “relationship” questions right now.

“How’s she holding up?” Sam asked.

“She’s still having nightmares every night. Hers are a lot worse than the ones I had in the beginning,” he said.

“I didn’t know you were having nightmares, why didn’t you tell me?” Sam said, a little angry.

“What good would it have done? Our kid just died Sam, I knew I’d have to process it and thought it was natural,” he said.

“Are you still having them?” Sam asked.

“Nope,” Dean answered.

“Dean?” Sam said.

“Seriously man, they stopped.”

“When?” Sam asked.

Dean thought about it for a minute. “The day I found Lauren at the lake.” Hmm, that’s weird. He settled in against the window to get some sleep.

“Dean?”

“Yeah Sam?” he answered.

“I don’t think Lauren should be part of this. It’s too dangerous,” Sam said resolutely.

“I agree,” Dean said.

“Then why did you tell her she could help?” he asked.

“Because if I didn’t agree to help her, she said she’d call Dad. Worse yet, she’d go off on her own. She’s no match for Meg. So we train her, take her out on some hunts; let her feel like she’s doing something productive. I know how she feels about this Sam, I don’t blame her. This will help keep her mind busy while she’s working through everything that’s happened.”

“What about Meg and her father?” Sam asked then.

“Trust me,” Dean said. “When it’s time for that fight, Lauren won’t be anywhere around. I’ll make sure of it. In the meantime, I can keep her safe. Once I’ve taken out Meg and Big Bad Daddy, Lauren can finally have some peace.”

“Don’t you mean you both can have some peace?” Sam corrected him.

“Yeah, we all can have some peace then Sammy,” Dean said, his voice drifting off as sleep tried to take its hold. “Wake me up when it’s my turn to drive."

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Regret…

The explosion from the barn had knocked them all down. Dean threw himself on top of Lauren trying to shield her from the blast, but when they fell, Lauren’s head had hit a rock and now she wasn’t moving.

The sirens were loud now, just coming around the corner. The neighbors were gathering along the sidewalk, talking. They seemed like such a nice family. Why was she in the barn so late at night? Poor thing, this is awful. No parent should have to go through this. She was only six, had her whole life ahead of her… Sam tried desperately to block out the voices as he ran over to Dean and Lauren several feet away. Dean hovered over her, stroking her hair, pleading, “It’s going to be alright, the ambulance is almost here. It’s ok. Lauren, I can’t lose you too. Wake up. Baby please, look at me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

The rest was all ambulance rides and Sam calling Dad on the way to the hospital and explanations to Dad and Dad promising to get there, they were a couple hours away. Sam was glad Dean had ridden with Lauren in the ambulance. Dean didn’t need to hear the anger and the accusations right now.

Dean’s going to need me. I can’t let him down. Dean never needs me. I have to get this right. Sam cried for Angel there in the car. Because the world was going to be a much darker place without that little girl’s smile to light it up. And he knew when they got to the hospital that he had to be strong for his brother.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dean was numb. He felt his body move with the shifting of the ambulance. I should call Dad. No. Sam will call Dad. And he sat there and nodded and answered questions about Lauren. How did she hit her head? On a rock when the barn blew up. Your daughter? We couldn’t get her out in time. What started the fire? Oh, you see, there’s this bi*ch demon and she slit my daughter’s throat and when my brother tried to shoot her, she set the whole place on fire. Hmmm, better re-think that answer Dean. No, can’t say that, they’ll lock you up and throw away the key. My daughter’s dead. Don’t cry Dean. Don’t cry because if you start, you’ll never stop. There aren’t enough tears for this. There aren’t enough tears in the world.

He was on autopilot now. He followed the stretcher until the double doors closed behind it and he was allowed to go no further. Dean felt Sam’s hands on his shoulders. Sam’s hands guided Dean to a chair but he wouldn’t sit down. Sam’s hands offered him something in a cup but he wouldn’t take it. Sam went to talk to the doctor. Sam came back and sat down next to Dean.

“Dean,” Sam’s voice talked to him. “Dean?” Look at Sam. “The doctor said Lauren’s going to be ok. They stitched her up and she’s going to be ok. Physically she’s fine, but she won’t wake up right now.” Something about this being her mind’s way of dealing with things. We have to wait, but she’ll be ok. “They say she just needs time.” There’s not enough time for this Sammy. Not enough time to process that your child was just slaughtered. Not enough time to say goodbye. Not enough time, never enough freakin’ time…

“They’ve put her in a room. I’ll take you there.” Dean shook his head no. Sam looked at him curiously. “Dean, somebody has to stay with her.” Dean didn’t move.

“Alright, I’ll go. When you’re ready, it’s ICU 3.” Great! Same room as last time. At least I won’t have to ask directions.

Sam walked to Lauren’s room. He took her hand in his own and talked to her quietly. “The doctors say you’re going to be okay Lauren. Dad’s coming. He was with Missouri. She’s really nice, you’ll like her. They were on their way already for the…” Sam stopped himself short of saying “wedding.” He stroked her hand softly and looked at her laying there. She looked so peaceful. “Take all the time you need. We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

John and Missouri came into Lauren’s room not long after that. John went over to Lauren’s bedside. “Sam,” Missouri gave him a warm hug. “I’m sorry about your niece. You’re worried about Dean.”

“He’s like a robot, Missouri. He won’t talk, he’s just… They said somebody had to stay with Lauren so I came in here,” Sam said.

“John, go be with your son,” Missouri instructed.

John found Dean two hallways over, standing in front of a window. It was raining outside. He strode over to him, ready to confront him. How the hell could you let Meg get to my granddaughter? What did you do wrong? Why didn’t you protect her? What happened? What did you do?

He stopped short as he got a good look at Dean. The shoulders were slumped, the head was hanging. At 6’1”, he had the stance of an eight year old boy. Dean turned and looked at him. He said nothing. His eyes said everything.

For the first time in more than two decades, John Winchester really saw his son. He was a little boy trapped in a man’s body. A four year old who lost his mother to a monster. A boy who raised his brother because his father was so consumed by revenge that he couldn’t do it himself. A boy who never got a chance to be a boy. A boy who deserved a better father than John Winchester. A boy who took the responsibility of the world on his shoulders and never complained about it. A boy who had grown into a man overnight. A man who missed the first five years of his daughter’s life because John was a fool who thought he had all the answers. A man who was about to bury that child.

John had felt losing Mary would kill him. He looked into his son’s eyes and realized that he had no clue what pain really was, but Dean did. “I’m sorry Dean.” John wrapped his arms around his son and held him, gripping tighter and tighter as Dean fought him and tried to pull away, holding him until the tears came. And Dean Winchester wept.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Missouri sat with Lauren that afternoon, telling them later that Lauren was stuck inside her own head, building a wall, preparing for what was going to assault her when she woke up and realized that this wasn’t a dream. That what had happened was real and her baby was gone. “She’s fragile. Be patient with her, stand by her, love her,” she told them. “That’s all you can do.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Lauren woke up on her wedding day and Dean told her that Angel was gone. She wouldn’t look at him. The funeral was two days later. It was a small ceremony, just family and a few friends. At graveside, Lauren kissed Angel’s casket and laid a single white carnation on it. Dean watched it being lowered into the ground, looking up for a single second and seeing Lauren staring at him, her eyes full of rage and blame. When the ceremony was finished and everyone had left, Dean stayed for a few minutes, Sam next to him.

“I’m sorry Dean, I wish…”

Dean just shook his head, turning to say goodbye to Angel silently. Sam saw the expression on his face change and followed his line of eyesight to Angel’s tombstone:

Angel Winchester
Beloved Daughter

Sam’s face fell, “Oh God, Dean,” Sam began. “I completely forgot. Lauren told me she’d…. she had Angel’s name legally changed to Winchester. She was going to surprise you with a copy of her new birth certificate with our last name and you listed as her father as a wedding gift. They must have used that information for the head stone.”

Dean nodded.

“Can I do anything?” Sam looked at him.

“Just let me spend a little time alone with my daughter?” Dean asked. Sam nodded and turned away. When he was out of sight Dean sat down in the grass, the memories coming in waves.

He remembered Friday night campouts in the living room when they would get into their sleeping bags and watch a movie. Lauren and Sam would have popcorn while Dean and Angel had Gummy Bears. And Dean would always eat too many and feel sick and Angel would poke him in the stomach with a giggle and call him Gummy tummy.

He remembered the day the phone rang and it was the principal of Angel’s school telling him to get there right away. The panic he felt that the demon had gotten to her. Walking into the principal’s office to see Angel sitting there and asking her if she was ok, did someone hurt her. And the principal said, “Not exactly; it’s just the opposite actually,” and telling Dean to sit. Angel’s teacher had instructed the kids to draw a picture of their family. Angel had drawn herself in the middle, with Lauren holding one of her hands and Dean holding the other. One of her classmates had looked at her picture and said, “Who’s that?” pointing at Dean. And Angel said, “That’s my Daddy!” And the kid said, “You don’t have a Daddy!” and Angel turned around and punched him in the face yelling, “I do too have a Daddy and he loves me with all his heart and if you ever talk about him like that again, I’m going to kick your ass!” Dean started to laugh and the principal shot him a look and he stifled it, promising to talk to Angel about it and that it wouldn’t happen again. And he walked Angel out to the car, stopping outside the entrance to the school to talk to her about her behavior. “I’m very disappointed in you,” he said. And Angel just looked at him and said, “Dad, he soooo had it coming.” And Dean smiled and said, “I would have kicked his ass too,” and gave her a high five before walking her back to the car to take her home.

He remembered how her smile would just make everything else in the world melt away and seem unimportant and he remembered the bi*ch who’d taken it all away. And he swore to his daughter then and there that he was going to make her proud of him every day, just like she’d made him so proud of her. And if it was the very last thing that he did, Dean was going to make Meg pay for what she’d done.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dean pulled the Impala into the empty driveway figuring that Sam had gone off with Dad to grab dinner or something and give him some time with Lauren. She hadn’t said one word to him since she’d woken up in the hospital. He had to talk to her, had to try to get through.

He walked into the bedroom and began to empty his pants pockets and that’s when something on the dresser caught his eye. In the tray that he normally set his wallet and watch was a dusty old jewelry box. The hinges creaked in time with his heart sinking as he saw the ring that he had given Lauren inside and he knew that she had walked out of his life again.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

This is how a heart breaks…


“Most fathers would do almost anything for their children, wouldn’t you agree Dean? Speaking of children, do you know where your daughter is?” Meg’s voice shot straight through to Dean’s spine, wrapping itself around it and pulling tight.

“Meg, you lay one hand on her and I’ll…” he began, but Meg interrupted.

“She’s got your eyes Dean. They’re pretty, and innocent, and she has no idea of the things her father’s capable of. Did you really think that you could just walk away, have a normal life, and not pay for what you’ve done? You killed my brother,” Meg said.

“Put Lauren on the phone,” Dean demanded.

“See, now that’s going to be a bit of a problem,” Meg said icily. “She’s a little incapacitated right now.”

“What have you done Meg?” Dean asked, his voice monotone. He had already gotten back on the highway and was pushing Metallicar as fast as she would go.

“Oh, I’m just getting started Dean,” Meg’s voice was slow and calculated, clearly enunciating every word. “I’m going to pick your family off one by one. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” The line went dead.

Dean dialed Lauren’s number back but no one answered. They were an hour from Tampa.

“Where are they?” Sam asked quietly.

“I don’t know Sam,” he said, his voice a whisper now. “I don’t know!” He looked at Sam, and for a split second, the younger brother became the older. Dean’s face looked like he was eight years old, and he was terrified. Sam gulped as he looked into the eyes of the one person he could always go to for anything and saw that those eyes held no answers. Those eyes were panicked, wild, and powerless.

Then it happened. The pupils dilated, the eyes grew hard, and he was completely focused on one thing: his family. And God help anything that stood between Dean Winchester and his family.

“She didn’t tell you where to go?” Sam asked.

“That’s what I said Sam,” Dean replied.

“We salted the house Dean, we put up all the protection symbols,” Sam said.

“And we sprayed Dad with holy water, but he was still possessed Sammy! Meg came back from hell; this family doesn’t seem to want to play Demon Monopoly by the rules now, do they?” Dean yelled.

“We’ll get there in time Dean,” Sam tried to reassure him now, tried to find the words.

“Oh I know we will,” Dean said. “Meg won’t kill them until I’m there to see it.” Dean said resolutely.

“You think she’s singling you out?” Sam asked

“Yeah Sam, her exact words were I’m going to pick off your family one by one.”

“Why you?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know,” Dean answered. “Maybe because I put a bullet in her brother’s head. That would probably set me off,” Dean looked at Sam.

Sam didn’t know what to do. His mind raced. Lauren was as much a part of his family as Dean or Dad now. She made him breakfast every morning; she helped him with school, quizzing him before tests and helping him with projects after Angel went to bed. She asked him for his help in her classes. She was the glue that held that household, their family, together. And Angel, she was only six years old. She had to be terrified. Sam couldn’t even imagine what she was thinking or feeling right now. His jaw set, he straightened up his back. This was not happening, not again. This was it. “What are we going to do,” he asked his brother.

“I’m going to take the Colt and I’m going to blow that bi*ch’s brains out Sam, just like I did Spence when he was trying to kill you. That’s what we’re gonna do,” Dean answered. That’s what Dean did, went in, weapons blazing, without thought, without question, just get the job done.

“Dean, there’s only one bullet left,” Sam reminded him.

“I won’t miss,” Dean said.

“I don’t mean that, but if we use it on Meg we won’t be able to kill her father. The demon that took Mom and Jess and nearly killed you,” Sam said evenly.

Dean looked at him like he had just lost his marbles. “You think I care about that right now?. That’s my daughter that bi*ch is trying to kill, and my......fiancé.” God, two days, you couldn’t just give me two more days so I could actually call her my wife, could you? “I don’t care about the other demon Sam. I’ll fight that war later. This is the only war that matters right now.”

They were silent the rest of the way home.

Sam’s stomach lurched as they turned onto their street and he saw the lights of their house flickering on and off like they were synchronized to a rock concert. Dean flew out of the car before it had fully stopped, leaving Sam scrambling to the trunk for weapons. “Dean!” he yelled for his brother to wait, but Dean was already kicking in the front door of the house, Colt in hand, searching.

He wasn’t sure where anyone was. The house was dark and quiet. He searched the entire house and found no sign of Lauren or Angel. “Dean?” he heard Sam call his name. He found Sam in the living room. “Look,” he pointed out the back window to a small stable that he and Dean had built for a pony that Angel wanted.

The lights were dancing there too and Dean could see Meg’s shadow pacing back and forth, watching and waiting. He saw Lauren’s body inside the front entrance and knew Angel was there too. There was no getting to the stable without being seen and that’s why Meg had picked it instead of the main house. She knew the boys would check the house first and they would walk right into her trap, unable to catch her by surprise.

As he walked into the stable, Dean saw Lauren starting to move and he realized she wasn’t dead. Thank God.

“Oh good, I think the party’s ready to start,” Meg said.

“I’m a little confused,” Dean said, trying to distract her and buy time. “I thought the blonde died.”

“Oh yeah, my other host,” Meg replied. “She did. But I really liked that body, this body. Don’t you? Her twin sister was so distraught over the whole thing that she was easy pickings. I had to cut my hair though; she kept it much too long you know.”

Sam walked in and was immediately thrown into the wall by an unseen force, sliding down until he was half sitting, half laying, gasping for air. Lauren was dazed, unable to stand, not yet fully aware of what was going on. Meg was crouched behind Angel with a dagger at her throat.

“Daddy,” Angel was crying, terrified. Dean aimed the Colt toward Meg, but he couldn’t get a clear shot. There was no way to shoot Meg without risking hitting Angel.

“It’s ok honey, Daddy’s here,” Dean said, trying to reassure her, his voice cracking, tears blinding him. He already knew how this was going to end. She’s going to die and it’s going to be my fault. He thought about knocking Lauren back out again so that she didn’t have to witness this. No parent should have to see this. She won’t recover from it and she’ll never forgive me. God Angel, I’m sorry. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. You’re not supposed to go before me, before your mom. I’m supposed to save you, that’s what I do, that’s what I’ve always done is protect my family, keep them from harm. I’m supposed to be the first one to go.

“Get away from her Meg,” Dean said.

“Or what, you’ll shoot me?” Meg taunted.

“What do you want?” Dean asked.

“Round and round the circle we go,” Meg said in a sing-song voice. “The Colt, of course.”

“Let her go and you can have the Colt,” Dean said evenly.

“And give you a clean shot? Not a chance, sweetheart!”

“Give her the gun Dean,” Lauren said, rising to her feet, still unsteady.

“Meg,” Sam’s voice came slow, raspy, still trying to catch his breath. He thought he might have cracked a rib. “Take me instead. I’m who your father wants, not her.” Dean looked at Sam, one arm out, soothing, trying to make Meg feel less cornered. My brother is offering his own life for my daughter’s. Sammy, she doesn’t want to take Angel and she doesn't want us...yet. She’s going to kill her and she’s going to make me watch her do it. My God, I am such a failure!

Meg seemed to think about it for a minute. “No deal,” she said. “Dad will come back for you, for now we’ll settle for the Colt.”

“Ok, ok,” Dean said, lowering the gun to the ground, kicking it toward Meg. She bent down to pick it up but couldn’t quite reach it. It’s over now. I have no leverage to make Meg give her up. Goodbye sweetheart, I’ve loved you every minute since I knew you were mine. I would do anything to make this different.

Angel was too panicked to know any better and began to run towards Dean when Meg had reached for the gun. Meg yanked her back by the hair just as the blade nicked her neck, a single drop of red blood dripping onto her pale pink pajamas.

Dean was an animal now, stalking back and forth, the sight of that one drop of Angel’s blood drawing him into a rage he had never known before. “You’ve got the gun, Meg. If you want the slightest chance in hell of living through this, let my daughter go! You don’t want what this will bring down on you if you go through with it!”

Meg looked around and saw Lauren and Sam coming out of it, the odds about to go to three on one. She thought that she had better cut her losses.

Everything happened so quickly that it was a blur. Dean saw the motion, he saw the blood, he heard Lauren scream, and he heard Angel’s choking voice calling him, “Daddy please!” Dean saw Sam pick up the gun as Meg backed away, a wall of fire coming out of nowhere. A wall too thick to find a target through; a wall quickly approaching them; a wall starting to swallow his daughter as she choked on her own blood, the last word from her lips being, “Daddy!”

It was too late for Angel, but Lauren didn’t understand. She hadn’t seen what Dean and Sam had seen in their work. All Lauren knew was that her baby was still moving, still breathing. She ran toward the wall of fire, desperate to pull Angel out. Dean caught her and began to carry her out of the stable, Sam beside them, Colt in hand, Meg long gone. And Lauren kicked and screamed and cried and swore at Dean until the force of the explosion knocked them to the ground and she lost consciousness.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Welcome to my sandbox…


“Lauren, I love you with all that I am. Will you marry me?” Dean asked, looking up at her through tears with the most nervous expression she thought she had ever seen on his face. How could he even doubt my response, she wondered?

She answered without hesitation, “Yes, of course!” He slipped the ring on her finger and then rose to his feet, pulling her into a deep kiss that brought a flush to her skin and sent the tears that had been building in her eyes streaming down her cheeks.

After the kiss, Dean looked at her for a moment, keeping both arms around her. “You should know that I asked Angel’s permission first,” he said.

She smiled back at him, “And what did she say?”

“Well, it’s about damn time!” Dean replied in his best Angel voice.

Lauren laughed at this, remembering what she had said to him after the first time that he had kissed her.

“I swear, she’s just like her mother,” Dean said, wrapping his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her head as they both looked out over the water together; she lay her arms on his, taking his hands into her own. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he smiled.

They stood there in silence for several minutes, the world standing still to smile on them in this moment, grinning like a couple of crazy teenagers at first, then just quiet and pensive.

“The ring,” Lauren began, turning to face Dean.

“Oh, I nearly forgot, I can get you a bigger one,” he said, a little flushed.

“Don’t be silly; I love it. It’s just… was that the ring box that creaked so loudly when you opened it?” He nodded. “You should have asked the jeweler for a better box, it nearly spoiled the surprise,” she giggled.

He hesitated for a long moment. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to do this years ago and never got the chance.” He pulled the dusty ring box back out of his suit jacket pocket. “I had bought it when we were together the first time. I was going to ask you to marry me the night you disappeared. I don’t know why I kept the stupid thing…” his voice trailed off as he absentmindedly rubbed some of the dust away from the velvet box.

“It’s not stupid Dean, it’s perfect,” Lauren said. “I’m glad you kept it. Maybe it means part of you never really let me go. At least that’s what I’d like to think.”

“Well, I was going to get a new ring for tonight, but I know you’re kind of sentimental so…”

“You thought you’d give me the original because it would mean more to me,” she finished for him.

“Stupid, huh?” he asked, looking almost shy.

“Dean Winchester, you’re the smartest man I ever met,” she smiled. “Let’s go home!”

Lauren insisted the wedding should be held at the gardens where Dean had proposed. Dean? Well, he was just so damn happy she’d accepted his proposal after everything that had happened that he didn’t care if they tied the knot on a street corner the next morning before Lauren had a chance to change her mind. It was to be a small service with less than 25 people. Sam was going to be best man, Kandace the maid of honor. Angel was so excited to be the flower girl she couldn’t contain herself and practiced daily with flower petals she’d had Lauren pick up for her from the craft store: step, drop, step, drop.

---

Despite her prompting, Dean had turned down the suggestion that he do the occasional hunt here and there. Both Sam and Lauren noticed his inability to keep still for long and he was becoming a little less patient in every day things. One day while they were in the kitchen alone, Lauren showed Dean an article in the newspaper about a string of unsolved deaths about an hour from Tampa. Hey eyed her suspiciously. She walked over to the table and turned her laptop to face him.

“When did you set that up in here?” he asked, having not noticed it when he’d walked in for his morning coffee.

“Just before you got out of the shower this morning,” she answered. “Look at this.”

Dean kept both feet planted firmly where they were.

“Oh come on dork!” she said.

He sighed deeply as though it pained him terribly and she smiled back at him as he started reading over her shoulder.

“Hmmm, I don’t think it’s our kind of gig,” he replied evenly.

“Bull crap,” she smacked him lightly on the head with the newspaper.

“Lauren,” he began.

“Oh shut up already. Sam said he’d go with you. He’s already packing his bags. You can leave after I get off work tonight,” she said.

Dean nearly fell over, “Sam said he’d go?!?!”

“Yeah, but he told me to tell you not to make it a regular thing, just now and then. Besides, you two could use some brother time without us girls around. And it’ll give me a chance to hang out with Angel one-on-one like you get to do with her after school every day,” Lauren answered.

“And you’re completely ok with this; it doesn’t scare you?” Dean asked.

“Of course it scares me, but I think Sam’s right. So long as you aren’t going after the demon, he seems content to leave us alone. Dean, you need this. You’re pretty good at your job from all I’ve heard,” she smiled.

Dean’s eyes lit up and he couldn’t stifle a huge grin. “Yeah, I am!”

“Look at you all puffed up like a damn peacock! Now pack your bags so you can go kick some paranormal ass!” she kicked at him playfully as he walked back to the bedroom. “Oh, and Dean?”

“Yeah?” he called back over his shoulder.

“While you’re on the road, I need a final list of addresses for the invitations. It’s only three months away,” she reminded him.

He came back into the kitchen then. “Call Dad, he’ll have all the info and know if I forgot anyone, what about you? I mean, I know your parents are gone,”

Lauren sighed. “What?” Dean asked.

“You don’t know do you?” she asked.

“Know what? Kandace said your parents died when Angel was a baby,” he answered.

“They were the only parents I really knew. I never told anybody…” her voice drifted off.

“What Lauren?”

“I was adopted, Dean,” she said softly.

“Why am I just hearing this now?” Dean asked, caught a little off guard at this revelation.

“Come on Dean, does anyone want to admit their parents abandoned them?” Lauren’s eyes grew dark. She was amazed at how angry she still was, all these years later.

Dean sat down at the table. “Didn’t you ever want to look for them after you grew up?”

“Oh yeah, I wanted to charge into their lives and demand to know what I did wrong. Why wasn’t I good enough? But the records were sealed and no one was able to give me any answers. They were cowards Dean; they didn’t want me to find them,” she said finally.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said quietly. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s no big deal really,” she said, covering. Dean recognized this reaction. It meant this hurts but I’m not going to talk about it right now. She needed space and he was okay with it if that’s what she needed. “Besides,” she said, “my parents are the two people that raised me. That’s what counts.”

Lauren insisted he and Sam hit the road that weekend and find out what was responsible for those deaths. On Sunday evening when Dean walked in the door, the light in his eyes was brighter than before, if that was even possible. He had more of a swagger to his walk, he looked proud and fulfilled. In that moment, she was sure she’d made the right choice when she’d encouraged him to go back to what he loved.

Over the next several weeks, Sam and Dean went on a few more hunts. Even Sam seemed to enjoy it now, since it wasn’t day in day out, non-stop highway and bad motels. Sam took satisfaction in saving lives; he just didn’t enjoy the kills the way Dean did.

The wedding was just a few days away and Dean and Sam were on their way back from taking care of a nasty poltergeist up in Jacksonville when Angel’s voice came from Dean’s jacket pocket… “Daddy, pick up the phone, it’s me!”

Dean grinned at Sam and Sam just shook his head chuckling.

“Hi sweetheart,” Dean answered.

“Oh, I didn’t think you cared,” the voice came from the other end of the phone. Dean slammed on the brakes, nearly sending Sam through the windshield of the Impala. His heart stopped.

“Meg?!” It took everything Dean had to hide the terror in his voice. She called from Lauren’s cell phone. Sam’s eyes grew huge.

“And you recognize my voice! That's sweet,” Meg replied. Dean could envision the smug smile on her face and his blood went icy.

“I thought I sent you back to hell,” Dean said in a voice that was something between a hoarse whisper and a growl.

“Hell is for children Dean. You know, you promised you’d visit, but you were a no show. My father came for me though. He’s got a bone to pick with you, by the way. Most fathers would do almost anything for their children, wouldn’t you agree Dean? Speaking of children, do you know where your daughter is?”

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Insert standard disclaimer here…

Despite Dean’s doubts and fears, life became rather idyllic. Angel’s personality reminded him how alike he and Lauren were in so many ways. Angel was a perfect mix of both of them, seeming to get the best (and some of the worst) qualities of each of her parents. She had the same sarcastic wit as both of them and took great joy in trying to leave one of them speechless. She and Sam were constantly thinking of new pranks to play on the “grownups”, and the house was always filled with laughter. Dean and Lauren were closer than ever, almost like they had picked up where they’d left off, knowing all of each other’s faults and strengths.

John even called about once a week from a pay phone somewhere, long enough to say hi to the boys and Lauren, but spending most of his short calls chatting up Angel, who went on and on about “Papa” after they’d hung up.

Neither Sam nor Angel had any visions and Sam’s nightmares were a thing of the past. As the weeks passed, Sam became convinced that the demon had come after them because they were closing in on him. He felt sure BigBad would leave them alone so long as they’d stop hunting him. John agreed to give up the hunt, saying Angel was more important and not able to defend herself. Dean didn’t like leaving that thing out there, but with everything going so well, he was more interested in keeping his family safe than aggravating a demon that seemed to have decided to leave them alone.

Lauren went back to work and after the first week decided that it was ridiculous to avoid the stairwells. She still had a hard time when she’d get to the area where she’d been attacked, but felt it better to “face her demons”, funny how the little things sounded so different now, than to run around scared forever. She made it a point to leave the office daily via that stairwell, knowing that was the only way to get past it.

Dean became concerned about providing for his family, but Lauren insisted that the house was paid off thanks to smart planning and a few investments she’d made, so her salary more than covered her truck payment and anything else they needed.

“Besides,” she kidded him, “if you’re at work all day, you’ll miss Oprah!”

“Sammy!” Dean yelled at his brother.

When Dean pushed the issue, she reminded him that she was saving money on daycare since Dean could be home with Angel while she worked and that there were enough bars and pubs in Tampa that he could make the rounds hustling pool without anyone being the wiser. She knew how much he enjoyed it and it gave him a chance to feel like he was doing something to contribute, along with building a relationship with his daughter while Lauren and Sam were gone during the day.

Sam applied and was accepted to Stetson Law School and began to take classes there since it wasn’t far from where Lauren lived. He’d thought about getting his own place, but when he’d mentioned it, Angel fainted straight away on the carpet in the living room, causing Sam and Dean both to panic until she couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore and Sam promised to live with them while he was still in school. Lauren had seen Angel pull that same stunt more times than she cared to remember and the looks on Sam and Dean’s faces were enough to make her nearly fall off the couch from laughing so hard.

Dean and Angel got to be so close they could sometimes finish each other’s sentences and neither was able to hide their feelings from the other. Angel brought out a more loving side of Dean. He grinned like a little kid whenever she called him Daddy and it was all Sam could do not to give him crap about it. That all ended on the fateful day that Dean had just finished mowing the lawn when Lauren got in from work and the first words he said to her were, “How was your day honey?” Sam laughed until the tears came before he could speak.

“Doesn’t this freak you out?” Sam asked.

“What?” asked Dean.

“Oh the manicured lawns, the how was your day honey, doesn’t it make you just want to blow your brains out?” Sam mimicked one of Dean’s complaints about a suburban neighborhood they had once done a job in. Lauren missed the joke and Dean hurled his sweaty grass-stained shirt at Sam in protest.

One day, Lauren told Dean all about Angel’s school and how well she had done in kindergarten the year before. She would be starting first grade in a couple of weeks and Dean was unusually quiet as Lauren recited all of the accolades of the local elementary school. “What is it?” she finally asked.

"She can’t go to school, Lauren,” Dean said.

“What do you mean she can’t go to school?” Lauren replied.

“It’s too dangerous; I can’t protect her there,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Dean, I didn’t sacrifice everything for it to come to this. I’m not going to put her through that life,” Lauren began.

“I could home-school her,” Dean suggested.

“Doing any better in math these days?” she chided him.

“Laugh it up,” he said. “Sam could help on the days he doesn’t have class,” he tried to sound convincing.

But Lauren put her foot down about this one and there was no changing her mind. There was no sign that the demon was still after them and they had been separated enough times that if he’d wanted to make his move, he might have been able to.

On a chilly day that winter, a surprised Dean woke up to find himself in an empty bed. His aching head reminded him that he might have had one too many beers the night before. That explained why he never felt Lauren get up. Usually, he knew every time she slipped out of bed to get a glass of water or get ready for work.

He walked into the kitchen and found fresh coffee, looking skyward with a quiet, “Thank you.” He was surprised to find no noise in the house. It was the weekend. Angel should have pounced on me by now and where are Lauren and Sam? Probably just went out to breakfast to let me sleep this off. He was startled by a sudden vibration coming from the kitchen table and Angel’s voice saying, “Daddy, pick up the phone, it’s me!” What the hell? He looked over and saw his cell phone sliding across the table and realized Lauren had snuck a surprise onto it for him. He smiled broadly and picked up the phone. “Hello?” he said.

“Is this Dean Winchester?” Angel asked, trying hard to sound like an adult.

“Yes, yes, it is,” he replied. “Who’s this?”

“Um, this is Officer Johnson with the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department, would you please come out front of your house?”

Dean tried hard not to let on that he knew it was her. He stifled a chuckle and said, “Is there a problem officer?”

“Yes sir, it seems you had one too many last night and crashed your car into the neighbor’s house. We need to see you immediately. Please step outside,” she said. He could hear Sam and Lauren feeding her lines in a hushed whisper.

“Yes sir, I’ll be right out,” he said.

“I’m not a sir, I’m a ma’am!” Angel half-yelled, a little offended, then recovered her voice. “Just come on out and there won’t be any trouble.”

Dean walked out the front door to find a huge red ribbon on the Impala.

“Happy Birthday Daddy!” Angel said, grabbing him into a hug around the waist.

“Thanks sweetheart!” he said. It had been so long since he’d celebrated a birthday that he’d pretty much forgotten when it was himself.

“Happy Birthday honey!” Lauren said as she walked up to greet him.

“Wow, a car,” Dean said sarcastically, “and it looks just like my other one!”

"Shut up smartass,” Lauren childed.

“Mom!” Angel scolded.

“Sorry!” Lauren said. “Get in,” Lauren instructed Dean.

He sat in the car, not immediately noticing anything different. “I’m in,” he said, a little confused.

“Look at the stereo silly!” Angel said, from outside his door.

To his surprise, Dean saw a brand new stereo in his beloved Impala’s dashboard. “But,” he began.

“Now, don’t freak out,” Lauren said. “Turn on the ignition.”

Dean did as he was instructed, still pretty peeved that hey had pulled out his cassette deck. Now he’d have to get CDs and…

He looked on in amazement as the stereo’s LCD display lit up with Welcome Dean. “What the…” he started to say. As the stereo switched into Aux mode, he saw another message and remembered the stereo Lauren had in her truck and that the screens were customizable. His said simply, Metallicar, but she’d found a cool graphic font that looked like the Master of Puppets Metallica logo. He grinned a little bit then, casting a side glance at Lauren as she sat in the passenger seat and winked back at him. He glanced down and noticed a little wire coming from under the dashboard running to a small, black box sitting in its own holder in easy reach. “An iPod,” he said, remembering. He grimaced a little.

“Before you say anything, don’t worry. All your music is already on here and I’ll teach you how to use it. Look, I even made a playlist with all your favorite songs on it so you can just hit a couple of buttons and have HOURS without having to worry about changing tapes or anything. And I replaced the speakers so you can crank it as loud as you want. Lifetime Warranty, even if you blow the speakers out.”

He had the stupidest grin Sam had ever seen on his face at this point. Dean got out of the car then and Sam pulled him into a hug before he could resist, “Happy Birthday brother, you deserve it.”

Dean looked up at his brother, when did he get so much taller than me, and saw the slight sadness in his eyes. Sam put his hand up, “No chick flick moments.”

“No, really man, I know this is…” Dean started to say.

“Look, Jess would want me to be happy. She wouldn’t want me to feel like I couldn’t help you celebrate your birthday because it happened to fall on the same day as hers. Let’s go inside,” he said. “I’m starving.”

Later that evening, after Angel had gone to bed, Lauren came out of the bathroom and found Dean putting his wallet on the dresser before climbing in to bed. For a few weeks now, she had noticed he was a little antsy. She asked him about it, and he said it was nothing, but she knew him better than to believe it. “You miss the hunt, don’t you?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind him as he stood in front of her.

He hesitated a moment. “I’m not doing anything to bring that demon back down on anyone, not Angel, not you, not Sammy, not Dad,” he said resolutely.

“There are other hunts,” she reminded him.

Dean sighed. “It scares me sometimes,” he said.

“What?”

He turned to face her. “Just how well you know me,” he smiled.

“Dean, you spent your whole life saving people from horrible things. Hunting is all you know how to do. It gave you a purpose, it made you feel needed, important. I never expected you to stay out of the life completely. Maybe we can find a healthy balance,” Lauren smiled knowingly.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Maybe you could find something you could knock out in a weekend, be back in time for me to leave for work on Monday mornings and you can take Angel to school. But not EVERY weekend,” she said sternly, putting on her best ‘scolding’ face.

“God, I love you, you know that?” he said, smiling at her.

“Yeah, but you don’t deserve me,” she retorted, playfully flipping her hair as she turned her back on him to get into their bed.

He lay down next to her and said, “I can try,” with a wink, kissing her gently.

“I’ll let you give it a shot,” she smiled back at him. “Time to prove yourself cowboy!” she giggled while turning out the light.

A couple of months later, Lauren’s birthday rolled around and Dean asked Sam to watch Angel so that he could take her out to a nice dinner. She got out of the shower to find him in a suit and tie and stared at him disbelieving. “Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?” she asked.

“I just want tonight to be special. It’s a nice restaurant and I thought you’d enjoy getting dressed up with me,” he said.

“As long as I get to undress you later,” she smiled, slipping her finger between buttons on his shirt to touch his bare chest underneath.

”Deal,” he grinned back at her.

They drove to a little restaurant on the other side of town and as soon as she handed her coat to the gentleman at the door and looked around, she looked back at him, smiling broadly. “Dean, it’s just like…”

“I know; that’s why we’re here,” he said. “I hunted high and low for a place that would remind you of that restaurant you loved so much.”

“Oh, sweetheart, thank you!” her nose wrinkled up with her smile and she kissed his cheek.

“Anything to see that smile,” he said.

They had a wonderful dinner and dessert, and to Lauren’s surprise, Dean even ordered champagne. Afterward, they took a walk through the garden area behind the restaurant. There were flowers up and down each aisle and beautiful statues and fountains dotting the landscape that bordered a small inlet from the Bay. Lauren paused in a gazebo overlooking the water and gazed out at its shining surface.

”What do you think?” Dean asked, his eyes focused on hers, gauging her reaction as she took it all in.

“Why Dean Winchester,” she said in the best southern drawl she could manage, pretending to fan herself. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a true romantic at heart!” Letting her voice go to its normal tone she said, “It’s beautiful Dean; I just love it. You know how I feel about the water.”

He stared at her then; her face silhouetted by the moonlight. He took a deep breath and said, “OK, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes.”

Lauren closed her eyes and was a little startled when she heard a sharp creaking noise from where Dean was standing. “Ok, you can open them now,” Dean said.

Dean took her left hand as she opened her eyes, and she found him on one knee, an open ring box in his hand and eyes wet with tears. “I wanted to do this years ago, but I never got the chance.” He gulped, the words coming hard. Nothing he could say seemed like it would be good enough. He slipped the ring onto the tip of its intended finger and poised it there, waiting. He finally decided simple would be the best. “Lauren, I love you with all that I am. Will you marry me?”

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

The guys don’t belong to me. I just like to play with them sometimes…

FORGIVENESS

“If I could pick anyone to be my Daddy, it would be Sam.” The words cut through Dean’s heart. He felt Sam’s finger tap him on the shoulder before taking his arm and leading him outside.

“Hey Lauren, I’ll be out back if you need anything,” Sam called when they neared the door.

“Thanks Sam!” she called back.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked, irritated as he shook Sam’s hand from his arm.

“We need to talk,” Sam said, then motioned to a bench on the back patio.

Dean remained standing, “I don’t really feel like talking.”

“Well, at least listen to what I have to say. You don’t have to talk at all, ok?”

One look at his brother’s face and Dean knew that he wasn’t getting out of it. He dropped onto the bench. “Angel didn’t mean what she said,” Sam began. “She doesn’t know you. All she knows is she sees you treating her mom badly. It’s got to stop Dean! The past is the past, what matters is now.”

“Sam, there’s a lot more going on here than you know,” Dean replied.

“No there’s not. I see you come over here every day. You hang out with me, you try to talk to Angel or make some kind of connection, but you’re ice cold to Lauren. And every day after you leave, once Angel is in bed, Lauren locks herself up in her room and won’t come out. I finally forced her to talk to me Dean. I know you’re Angel’s father.”

Dean shook his head. “I can’t be a dad to her; I’ll ruin everything. I don’t have the first clue about raising kids.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sam said. “Come on Dean, think about it. You raised me, and I didn’t turn out so bad.”

“That’s debatable,” Dean smiled.

“Look, I know what you did for me growing up. You tried to shelter me as much as you could, keep me innocent to all the things you and Dad did until I was too old for you to be able to hide it anymore. It took me a long time to understand why you didn’t want normal. But you never knew normal. I knew a little bit of normal, because of you. You were more of a father to me than Dad ever was Dean. I know that now. I guess it took being here and seeing all this to really realize it. I know I should have said this a long time ago, but thank you Dean, for everything,” Sam said finally.

“Oh God, do we have to hug again?” Dean moaned.

“Hey, you’d better get used to hugs, because that little girl in there LOVES to hug,” Sam replied.

“She does?” Dean asked, almost too enthusiastically.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you can break her of it,” Sam winked at him. “Listen, about Lauren,”

“Sammy don’t.”

“Hear me out. She’s amazing Dean. I mean, you knew that all along, but you just can’t see it now. I remember when we all used to hang out together almost every weekend. How many fights did we get into, and I would just storm off and take a walk?”

“And she always followed you,” Dean reminded. “I think you did that crap on purpose to get her attention.”

“She hates it when people fight Dean. I’d plead my case on why you were such a jerk, and she would just listen. Sometimes she would defend you or tell me I was projecting, but most of all, she just listened. And in the end, she always reminded me that family is the most important thing. We can be mad all we want, but to make sure that we didn’t sleep on it, because tomorrow’s never promised.”

“Yeah, she always was a softy like that,” Dean remembered.

“But she’s right Dean. In our work, we see people die before their time, families left behind to pick up the pieces with things left unsaid, anger. We’ve seen what that can do to people first hand. You’ve got to let this go Dean. You’ve got to find a way to forgive her for this.”

“Why should I Sam? She walked out; she kept my kid from me! Do you know the demon came for Angel when she was six months old? Dad saved them. It should have been me!” Dean said, the anger raw again now.

“Dean, you were what, 22 years old at that point? What would you have done? Do you really think you could have handled that? You’d probably all be dead. I know you don’t agree with what Lauren did, or Dad. But look at that little girl in there Dean. She’s had all the love she can handle because Lauren loved her enough for both of you. She loved her enough to keep her safe and try to make sure she wasn’t a target. She loved you enough to protect you. That’s real love Dean, and loyalty. It cost her everything, but she did it anyway, for her family, and ours. She’s done nothing but be good to you since you got back. She hasn’t tried to plead her case, she’s taken every last piece of crap you’ve handed her, and supported this family anyway. I’m not saying you have to love her Dean. Just try to find a way to forgive her, for Angel’s sake,” Sam concluded.

Dean sighed, knowing in his heart that Sam was right. The brothers stayed there quietly for a few minutes, and then Angel came bounding out the door. “Push me on the swing Sam? Oh, hi Dean,” she said.

Lauren looked on through the screen. “I need to talk to your Mom,” Sam said. “Maybe Dean could push you.”

Angel took Dean’s hand, trying to pull him off the bench. “Please!” she said. Dean found an unexpected chuckle escape his lips as he got up to follow Angel to the swing set, realizing that she had taken a lesson to heart and already let go of what he’d done to her mother.

Lauren stepped out onto the porch, eyes glistening. “Thanks Sam,” she said. “You didn’t have to do that. I appreciate it.”

Sam just smiled at her. “Every word of it was true Lauren. You’ve done an amazing job with her. It can’t have been easy. I don’t know where you get your strength.”

“I get it from her,” she smiled back. “And people like you that really get it.” She hugged him then.

Dean looked back from Angel toward the back door of the house and saw Sam and Lauren in an embrace and, for just a moment, he was jealous.

Later on, he told Lauren he was ready to tell Angel the truth. He told her first that Sam was her uncle.

Angel gave Sam a huge hug at that news. Then she said, “If you’re my uncle and that other man is my grandfather….” she turned and looked at Dean, “Does that mean you’re my father?”

Dean gulped, “Yes Angel, I am your dad.”

Angel looked at Lauren, “This is the lie you told Dean that made him mad at you?”

“Yes Angel,” Lauren answered. “I’m sorry. I really did think he was dead. But when I found out he was alive, I wanted to make sure he was ready before I told you the truth. I’m sorry I’ve kept it from you.”

“That’s alright Mom,” Angel said. She walked up to Dean, “You can be my dad if you promise to be nice to my mom.”

Dean swallowed hard, then took a cue from Lauren he had heard earlier. “I can promise to try harder, ok?”

“Ok,” Angel said.

For the next couple of weeks, Dean came by every day; spending time with Angel, kissing every scrape, hugging every hurt, and covering how foreign it felt to him and how much it scared him that he was starting to enjoy it. Sam stayed around, mostly because Dean refused to let him leave, but happy for a break from the hunt. Dean tried hard to be civil to Lauren, but he still couldn’t sit down and have a normal conversation with her. He thought a lot about what Sam had said to him, trying hard to understand WHY Lauren and his father had made the decisions they had. He couldn’t have imagined carrying that kind of weight, trying to decide between staying with someone you love or protecting them by leaving. He realized that his father had made the same decision several times, leaving the boys when he felt things were getting too dangerous.

One night he asked Lauren if he could be the one to tuck Angel in. He walked into her room as she was finishing her prayers. “Thank you for my family and for keeping them safe. Bless Mom and Dad, Uncle Sam, and Papa John. Amen.”

Dean smiled at this and waited outside her door another half second so as not to let on that he’d heard her. He peaked his head in the room and asked if he could come in. She said sure, climbing in to bed and perfecting the row of stuffed friends along the top of her headboard, plucking down a unicorn for tonight’s cuddle fest.

“Your mom said that I could tuck you in tonight if that’s ok.”

“Sure.”

He snuggled the bed sheets around her, making sure she was cozy and warm. “That ok sweetheart?” he asked.

“Perfect,” she said. She looked up at him thoughtfully for a moment before sitting up again. She reached up and wrapped her arms around Dean’s chest, squeezing him tight before giving him a kiss. “Goodnight Daddy,” she smiled before laying her head down on the pillow and closing her eyes. This was the first time she had called him that. He let the tears come, grateful for them this time.

He sat in Angel’s room for a long time, watching as the rise and fall of her chest slowed as she drifted off to sleep. Eventually, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Goodnight Angel,” he said, “I love you.”

He walked back out into the main house, realizing how late it was when he saw the door to the room Sam slept in shut. He must have already gone to bed. It struck him that Sam hadn’t had any nightmares since they’d gotten to Tampa. He walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before heading back to the hotel. Lauren was leaning up against the counter, nursing a beer.

“Angel alright?” she asked.

“Amazing,” he answered. “She called me daddy!”

Lauren smiled sadly, emptying her bottle and rinsing it out in the sink before putting it in the trash. She stepped a little closer to Dean, looking at him for a moment before letting her head lay on his shoulder, placing her left hand in his right. Dean felt the tears on his shirt, as she whispered, “I’m sorry Dean.” He breathed deeply, caught up in everything that had happened. He finally understood that she’d had no other choice. He wrapped his left arm around her shoulders, leaning his chin on her head. “No, I’m sorry. You made the right decision,” he said softly.

She looked up at him then, her eyes searching his, trying to get a read on what he was thinking. “I missed you soooo much,” she said finally. He reached down, taking her face in both of his hands then, kissing her softly before murmuring, “I’m sorry I haven’t told you every day since I found you again that I still love you.” He kissed her again, more deeply this time, before leading her into the bedroom. Dean gave up the fight and allowed himself to feel, truly feel what he had somehow known had been there all along. This transcended sex; it was love, respect, loyalty and a freedom he had never fully known until now. This was a freedom to truly be himself, no walls, and no barriers hiding his heart. Lauren knew every inch of him, inside and out, and loved him anyway.

Dean never made it back to the motel that night, or any other. He knew where he belonged. For the first time in his life he was happy, completely happy. Lauren would fall asleep contentedly in his arms each night. And Dean would fight the dread he felt, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because Dean Winchester felt, deep in his heart, that he wasn’t meant to be happy.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Not mine, wish they were. Are we done now?

Dean came flying into the emergency room entrance for the hospital, pausing only long enough to find out which room his brother was in. When he got there, he found John hovering over Sam, looking anxious.

“How is he?” he asked quietly.

John looked at him, disappointment written all over his face. “He’d be a hell of a lot better if you’d done your job and looked out for him. How could you just take off like that, and then not answer your phone? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Sorry Dad, I was a little wrapped up. Kinda just found out I was a father and all.” Dean said with more than his usual snark.

“Well, give the boy a medal! He abandons his child and her mother as soon as he learns the news. Your brother had to pay the price for your temper tantrum!” John practically exploded.

“Take it outside,” Lauren said, entering the room.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asked angrily.

“Sam needs his family,” she replied.

Dean’s jaw dropped. “That little girl out there,” he said, pointing to Angel standing just outside the room, “is his family. You’re not!”

“Dean!” John said, raising his voice again.

“No John, it’s ok, I can take whatever he wants to dish out,” she said. She looked at Dean pointedly. “But that’s your brother Dean, the person you love most in this world. He’s done nothing wrong. He needs peace. He needs rest. He needs his father and his niece. But more than anything else right now, he needs you.” With that she left the room.

Dean and John glared at each other but neither said anything. After Dean’s fifth loud sigh, John finally took the hint and went for a walk. Alone with his brother, Dean was finally able to let his walls down a little. He felt the tears come, taking Sam’s hand in his own, willing him to get better. “I’m sorry Sammy, I should have been there. I know I let you down. I’ll never do it again, I promise. You have to pull through this Sam. I’m going to be selfish here. I need you.” He looked toward the door. “I don’t know if they told you, but you’re an uncle. Angel’s my kid, can you believe that? Sam, I don’t know how to be a father; I need your help here. I can’t do this. Come on Sam, open your eyes, tell me I’m an idiot, make fun of me, something!”

He didn’t move from Sam’s side until his father came back in several hours later. “Why don’t you take a break, I’ll sit with him for a while.”

“He’s my responsibility,” Dean said.

“Little late for that now, don’t you think?” John replied.

Lauren was right about one thing, Sam didn’t need them fighting now. Dean left the room, grabbing a cup of coffee in the cafeteria before walking into the waiting room. The lights were dimmed. He noticed someone lying on the couch. Dean looked at his watch. It was late. After his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized that it was Lauren, with Angel on her chest, both asleep. Dean moved a little closer, careful not to disturb them. He stared at Angel, arms wrapped around her mother’s neck, a wisp of hair across her peaceful face. He reached over and pushed the hair back in place, letting his hand rest on her head for a long moment. “I’m sorry honey. I know I let you down. I’ve let everybody down.”

He went back to Sam’s room and he and John sat there in silence, alternating between staring at each other in disgust and staring at Sam, willing him to live. The next morning, Angel walked into the room alone, asking to sit with Sam. John helped her get up on the bed, and she took hold of Sam’s hand again, like she had Lauren’s before. John left the room, motioning to Dean to leave them alone. Dean shook his head no.

He stayed, watching Angel and Sam together for a few moments before walking out into the hallway. Lauren was staring out the window, with John behind her. Neither of them saw Dean standing there. “You’re as much a part of this family as any of us Lauren,” he said.

She shook her head, “No, I’m not, Angel is. Dean was right about that.”

“You’re her mother, Lauren. You raised her from birth, all by yourself. You never asked for anything from us. You’ve sacrificed over and over again for her. Angel’s family by birth, but you’re family in every way that matters.”

John’s hand was on her shoulder now and Lauren placed her hand on top of his. “That means a lot to me. But it doesn’t change the past, it doesn’t right the wrongs, it doesn’t undo the hurt. Have you known me to be anything but a straight shooter?”

John chuckled lightly, “No, you pretty much say exactly what you feel and to hell with what other people think about it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had Winchester blood in you. What’s on your mind?”

“Go easy on him John,” she said. “We’ve had years to make peace with everything that’s happened. This is all new to Dean, very fresh wounds. What you said to him wasn’t fair.”

“Still the eternal peacemaker I see,” he replied.

“I missed Sam and Dean all these years, John. I wish we could go back to the three musketeers thing we had going on, but those days are gone. We’re all grown up now. I love all of you, but you were unfair to blame him. You made Dean believe that what happened to Sam was his fault. It wasn’t, and you know it. You can’t tell me that there is not a point in any given day where the two of them are not together. Sam wasn’t targeted, he got hurt trying to help someone else, and that’s all. It’s terrible and scary, but it’s not Dean’s fault.”

Dean slipped down the corridor before either of them knew he had been there. When he came back, he saw John still standing by the window. He glanced into Sam’s room and saw Lauren and Angel standing by Sam’s bed, laughing. He didn’t hear John’s approach.

“He’s awake Dean. He’s going to be ok. Angel must have gotten through.” Dean looked in on his brother and felt a huge wave of relief sweep over him.

“Does Sammy know?” he asked.

”That he’s an uncle? Not yet. Lauren wanted to wait to talk to you, make sure you were ready for Angel to know. Although I guess she overheard Lauren and I talking and figured out that I’m her grandfather. She doesn’t seem to have connected all the dots yet.”

The next day Sam was released and Lauren invited them all to stay at her house. “There’s plenty of room,” she’d said. John said he had gotten a call from one of their contacts about something going on up in Kentucky and that now that Sam was ok, he wasn’t needed anymore. Lauren had a gut feeling that he was just leaving so that Dean could have some space. Sam agreed to stay at Lauren’s but Dean decided to stay in a local motel instead. He’d come to see Sam during the day and leave in the evening. He didn’t say a word to Lauren.

A few days later, Sam opened the door to get the morning paper and found Dean about to knock on it. He let him in. Lauren and Angel were in the kitchen and Dean started to walk in to grab a cup of coffee when he overheard them talking.

“I hope Dean doesn’t come by today Mommy,” Angel said. Dean’s brows furrowed and his shoulders slumped.

“Why would you say something like that honey?” Lauren asked.

“Well, when he’s here, you’re sad. And I don’t like the way he looks at you; it’s mean. Why does he hate you?” she asked.

“I don’t know that he hates me honey. But I can tell you that sometimes grown ups get their feelings hurt. We’re not like you kids who are really smart and know that the most important thing is…”

“Your family and friends. You have to show them how much you love them everyday because one day you may not have a chance to do it anymore,” Angel finished for her.

“I see one of our talks has finally sunk in,” Lauren smiled at her. “You see, we grownups aren’t always that smart and it takes us a long time to let go of the things that hurt us. It’s hard for us to focus on the important stuff when we hurt.”

“So Dean’s mad at you because you hurt him?” Angel asked.

“I didn’t mean to honey, but yeah, I did. I lied to him about something very important a long time ago. He just found out about it, and he’s having a hard time with it. Don’t be mad at him; he has every right to be mad at Mommy.” Dean was surprised at the candor Lauren used with her. No wonder Angel was so smart.

“Do you miss my Daddy Mommy?” Angel asked.

“Every day of my life honey,” Lauren answered sadly.

“You said daddy died. Do you think he loved me?” she asked.

“If he’d had a chance to know you Angel, he’d have shown you every day just how much he loved you. And I know he would be very, very proud of what a brave, smart young lady you’ve grown into.”

“Mommy?” Angel asked again.

“Hmmm?” Lauren replied distantly.

“If I could pick anyone to be my Daddy, it would be Sam.”

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

I understand Dean. Can I just have him?


Dean Winchester’s cell phone rang. Again. He looked at the number. It was Dad. Again. His voicemail envelope was still lit up from the last two times John had called. I can’t talk to you Dad. Not after all this. He tossed the cell phone in the back seat of the Impala. I need time.

He had been driving for hours and his legs were starting to cramp. He saw an area where he could pull off the side of the road. Dean leaned his head against a signpost before wandering down a path that led away from the side of the highway. He followed the path down to a rather large pond. It was a nice, quiet spot where he could think.

First he kicked things, and then he swore. Finally, he backed against a tree, letting his weight draw him down to a sitting position, head in hands, trying to sort through the tangled web that his life had suddenly become.

God, he’d said so many ugly things to his dad. Things he hadn’t even realized he’d felt. Things that brought tears to the eyes of the unshakable, unstoppable, fearless John Winchester. He’d tried to hide those tears, but Dean had seen them. Dean could hardly remember ever seeing his dad cry.

Only Dean or Sam could have brought those kinds of tears to John Winchester’s eyes. Tears of pain brought on by words spoken in anger. Dean knew the kind of pain he’d inflicted on his father and guilt rippled through him. Dammit Dad, why couldn’t you trust me to handle it? I should have been the one to save them. Angel’s my daughter, Lauren would have been my wife. I could have handled it. When are you going to realize that I’m a man?

He took a deep breath and looked around at his surroundings. Water. He remembered the lake that he and Lauren used to sneak off to when his dad was in town and had found the bottom of a bottle the night before, ensuring he’d sleep most of the day. Lauren loved the water. Whenever she needed to think, she would go to the lake and sit on the dock, sometimes for hours. Lauren needed peace, quiet, solitude to sort through her thoughts. Dean preferred noise, noise to drown out his thoughts, his doubts, the dread that told him he couldn’t protect everybody everywhere forever.

Ultimately, he thought of Angel. He had a little girl. She was beautiful and smart. She had a bit of an attitude problem and Dean knew she hadn’t just inherited that from her mother. He smiled at the memory of her telling Sam to shut his cakehole in the car. Now that was classic. She was so damn funny. Dean realized he hadn’t really ever thought much about being a dad. His job was dangerous and it took him away from anything that could resemble home. He didn’t want any child of his to have the childhood he had.

At least Angel’s life had been somewhat normal. If she was like Sammy, she didn’t remember the demon coming for her. That damn demon. The demon who took his mom, any shot he and Sam had at a normal childhood, and Sam’s girlfriend. The same demon that used Lauren to send a message; the demon who tried to take his daughter. That son of a bi*ch was going to pay and Dean was the one who was going to collect.

Dean Winchester could list on one finger the things he was really scared of. He would go up against any man, spirit, ghost, beast, or demon, guns blazing, holy water spraying, whatever it takes. Until today, the only thing that terrified him was losing his family. But this wasn’t any ordinary day. Today, he was a father, and the thought of it, of everything it meant, terrified him.
_______________________________________________-

John yelled to Angel to get inside the store as he whipped a sawed-off shotgun from behind the seat in his truck and took aim at the dark figure scurrying behind the building. His shot missed its target. He bolted out of the truck, running to where he had last seen Sam and his abductor, but was met by an empty alleyway. He ran up and down, but there was no sign of Sam anywhere. He had completely vanished.

“Dammit!” he screamed. He went back inside to find Angel. She was waiting behind the counter with one of the waitresses. “Hi honey,” John said to her, “I’m going to take you home.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you. I don’t know you!” she answered.

He hadn’t thought about it, but this kid hadn’t actually seen him since she was a baby. My only grandchild and I’ve missed so much of her life.

“I’m Sam’s dad Angel. My name is John. I’m going to call your mom on my cell phone and she’ll let you know what to do, ok?”

Angel looked at him, unsure, but allowed him to make the call. “Lauren, it’s John. Angel’s fine, but something took Sam. I’m going to bring her back to your house, then bring you back up here to pick up your truck ok? She doesn’t know me, so I told her I would call you so she knew it was ok to come with me. Here she is,” John waited for Angel to come get the phone from him but she refused to budge. He leaned across the counter to hand it to her.

She has Dean’s eyes, he thought as she looked up at him while talking to her mother. His thoughts drifted to regret, but he snapped back to hunter mode quickly. As he loaded Angel into the truck, he dialed Dean’s number. No answer. “Dean,” he said when the beep to leave a voicemail sounded. “It’s Dad. Something took Sam. Call me.” He hung up. After ensuring Angel and Lauren were back home safely, John tried calling Dean again as he drove back to set about trying to find Sam.

He went behind the store again, this time picking up a trail of Sam’s blood that he hadn’t seen before. He hadn’t seen because it was dripping down the side of the building. There was nothing on the pavement underneath. John climbed up a ladder and cautiously crept along the roof of the building, following the trail of blood that had been left behind as this thing had dragged Sam away. It ended just outside a small door that led into a large utility area on the roof. Gun poised, John opened the door.

“Oh God, Sammy?” he moaned when he saw Sam’s body propped up in a corner. Whatever had taken him had apparently decided that it wasn’t worth a battle and had fled. He checked Sam’s pulse, but felt nothing. He pulled him out on the roof and began CPR. “Come on Sammy, breathe, damn it son! Breathe!” At last he got some breath sounds, but very shallow. He carefully got Sam off the building and into his truck. He called Lauren to let her know what was going on, then called Dean, leaving another message.

Lauren and Angel arrived at the hospital at the same time John was bringing Sam in. “What are you doing here?” John said as Sam was rushed off by the medical staff.

“This thing is picking people off and you expect me to sit in that empty house? I’d like to have at least one Winchester at my side right now, thanks!”

“If it makes you feel any better, this thing wasn’t the demon,” John said.

“It doesn’t, but I didn’t think it was. Angel said it was attacking someone in the parking lot and Sam tried to help him. Then it turned on Sam,” Lauren told him.

More than two hours later, the doctor came out of the emergency area to speak with John. “He’s in pretty bad shape. All we can do is wait and see.” John’s shoulders sagged.

Lauren took Angel’s hand. “When can we see him?”
____________________________________________

Dean decided that what he needed was to get his mind off everything and everyone else in his life. The sun was setting anyway, so he found a bar and went in to drown his sorrows in alcohol and pretty ladies. The alcohol numbed his senses and the ladies were very pretty indeed. When he woke up at noon the next day, his cell phone was still in the back seat of his car.
___________________________________________

John didn’t know what to do. Part of him was worried that something had happened to Dean too, but he didn’t want to leave Sam in case the worst happened. He snapped the phone shut. Dean, you’re a man now, I have to trust that you’re ok. I have to believe that you’re just really pissed off at me. Please check your voicemail. Get here son, Sammy may not have much time.

He took a deep breath and found Lauren and Angel in Sam’s room. Lauren was on one side of the bed and Angel was on the other. Lauren held Sam’s right hand in her left hand, and Angel’s left hand in her right hand. Angel held Sam’s left hand in her right. They both had their heads bowed and eyes closed.

“Any change?” John whispered to Lauren quietly, breaking her concentration. Lauren looked at him and shook her head no. Angel kept her head down and eyes closed. “What are you doing?” he asked Lauren.

“I’m praying. Angel is trying to help Sam in her own way,” Lauren smiled.

“Thank you Angel,” John uttered quietly. She opened one eye to look at him and mouthed, “You’re welcome, Papa.” John blinked back tears as the little girl’s warm smile greeted him.

“Come on Sam, come back to us. Your family needs you.” Lauren looked at John thoughtfully. “You’re whole family.” She squeezed Sam’s hand firmly.
________________________________________

Dean squinted against the harsh sunlight that greeted him as he pulled the motel door shut behind him. He turned in the key and decided what he really needed was a steaming cup of coffee and break… he looked at his watch… brunch.

He was relieved to not have Sam complaining about having to find Dad and finding the damn demon and I want to go back to school when this is all done. He finished his eggs and bacon and gave a cheerful smile to the waitress as he left. Ah hell, Sam would be worried about him. He searched his pockets and then remembered that he had tossed his cell phone in the back seat. He fished it off the floor and looked at the display. 17 missed calls. He began to scroll through them: Dad…Dad…Dad…unknown…Dad…Dad…oh Sandy (grin)…Dad…Dad, etc. “Freak!” he muttered to himself as he saw all but two of those calls were from his father. He found it odd that Sam hadn’t called. Sam had to have known by now that he and Dad had a fight. He rolled his eyes and dialed his voice mail. His facial expression quickly changed as he went through the messages one by one before jumping into the car and speeding back to Tampa.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Yada, yada, yada…

“Angel is your daughter Dean.” Lauren’s words echoed in his head. Dean Winchester sat in a chair in her house dumbfounded. He opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words. He was a father and his own father and this bi*ch had kept the truth from him for more than six years. God, he had almost trusted her again, almost let himself feel again, now this?

He looked up to see Lauren looking at him expectedly, and behind her, his father. "I’m sorry,” Lauren said, “This must be a lot to take in.”

Dean withdrew his hand from Lauren’s and slowly got out of the chair. “Dean?” she said as he grabbed the baseball bat and stomped out the front door, slamming it behind him. Lauren walked past John to follow him.

“Let him go,” John advised. “He’s going to need some time to process all this.”

The next thing they heard was the sound of breaking glass in the drive followed by the roar of the Impala’s engine and screeching tires. John just shook his head.

They came back in from inspecting John’s broken rear window and headlights. “The things he said to you John,” Lauren began.

“Lauren, I’m not perfect,” John said. “Dean was right about a lot of things. The truth is I’ve made more than my share of mistakes when it comes to my boys. As a parent, you know that sometimes you have to make the best decision you know how and just pray it’s the right one for your kids.”

“But how do we explain that to our kids when it rips them apart and destroys their trust in us?” she sighed, staring at one of Angel’s toys lying in the corner.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have separated you and Dean after all,” John started.

“I have as much culpability in this as you do John,” Lauren said. “I was a grown woman.”

“And I was, AM, a bull-headed arrogant fool. If you hadn’t agreed to leave, I would have found a way to separate you two,” John smiled slightly. “This is my doing.”

“How did you find me?” Lauren asked. “I mean, here?”

“I kept tabs on you when you moved. I have friends here. Any 911 from your office building and I heard about it. I was in town for what I thought was a lead on the demon. I heard about the nature of the call the night you were attacked and went straight to the hospital. Dean damn near saw me there the night you were brought in.”

“You were at the hospital?” she asked.

“Yeah, Sam may have told you he gets these premonitions sometimes, he must have seen what was going to happen to you and brought Dean to help him to try to stop it,” John replied. “Dean was a wreck Lauren, you should know that. He and Sam took turns in your room with you until you woke up. I guess they figured the demon would come back. Sam would come to relieve Dean and he would pace the hallway for at least an hour before heading out. On his shifts, he never left your room for so much as a bathroom break.”

Lauren smiled a sad smile and shook her head.

“I’m sorry for all of this Lauren,” John said. “It’s obvious you still love him, and I think his actions while you were hurt confirm he still loves you too.”

“I walked out of his life without a word. I kept his own flesh and blood hidden from him, and you know how he feels about family John. The things he’s done to keep your family together, to keep Sam safe. He would have done the same for Angel and never got the chance. I’m sure right now he’s thinking he should have been the one to protect Angel all those years ago. It doesn’t matter how I feel about him, he’s never going to forgive me for this.”

“I guess the first step would be for you to forgive yourself,” John said softly.

“I can’t,” she said. “I kept him from his child, I kept Angel from her father, her uncle, her grandfather,” she said, looking at him again now.

“You made the best decision you knew how to keep your child safe. You gave up everything you loved for her. I don’t know much about parenting, but I know that makes you a good mother.”

“Once I heard, or should I say thought, Dean had died, I was almost relieved. The weight of carrying this secret was smothering me. Then I had all this guilt that he and Angel hadn’t gotten a chance to get to know each other. By the time Angel finally asked about her dad, I told her he was dead, because I thought it was true. How am I going to make her understand this?”

John’s mouth had dropped slightly. “Oh Lauren, I should have told you. I didn’t even think about the possibility of you hearing about what happened then. Dean has a big heart. One day, maybe he can forgive both of us. Speaking of family, you’re going to tell Sam and Angel too?”

“After everything that has happened and the fact that the demon has tracked us down anyway, I don’t see a value in continuing the lies,” Lauren replied.

“I wonder how Sam is going to feel about being an uncle,” John said thoughtfully.

“He and Angel get along great already, I’m sure he’ll be just fine!” Lauren smiled. “That reminds me, I think they should probably have been back by now, don’t you? Would you mind calling Sam’s cell phone? I didn’t think to get his number or Dean’s, so I have no way to reach them.”

“Sure,” John said, dialing Sam’s number. There was no answer; he left a message. “Sam, it’s Dad. Lauren’s wondering where you and Angel are. The coast is clear so to speak. Dean isn’t here so go ahead and bring Angel back or give me a call. Thanks.” John frowned after clicking his phone shut.

“What’s the matter?” Lauren asked.

“Sam always picks up the phone when I call him,” John replied. “This doesn’t feel right. Something’s wrong. I’m going to look for them.”

“I’m going with you,” Lauren said, going to grab her coat.

“No,” John said. “Stay here.” Lauren was annoyed. “Does he have a key to get in the house if he gets back and there’s no one here?”

“No,” she frowned.

A few minutes later John came back into the house with several shotguns and other miscellaneous tools of the family business. “Sam and Dean seemed to have done a good job on the protection for the house, but I don’t fully trust anything with this demon. He’s more powerful than a lot of the other things we’ve encountered along the way. DO NOT leave the house for anything unless you’re with Sam or Dean, got it?”

“Just find them,” Lauren instructed, starting to worry.

“I will,” John smiled. “And Lauren? Thanks.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For defending me to Dean,” John said. You have as much right as he does to hate me.”

Lauren smiled a forgiving smile and shook her head as she closed the door behind him.

“Help, please, somebody help us!”

John Winchester pulled into the parking lot of Dairy Queen just in time to see Angel running away from Lauren’s truck screaming and Sam being dragged away unconscious by a dark figure moving quickly behind the building.

Previous chapters can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3011743/1/

Dean is mine, dammit! Krip can have the rest…


“I’m glad you’re ok Lauren,” John Winchester said, kissing her forehead as he smiled down at her, then held his hand out to Dean. “Son…”

Dean backed away, feeling suddenly double-teamed. He looked at Lauren, “You lied to me?”

“No, everything I told you is true Dean. All of it.”

“Son,” John began, but Dean interrupted.

“Don’t… just don’t. Don’t even talk to me right now. Lauren, how can you even look at him after everything he did to us?”

“Dean,” Lauren and John both said at once.

“Just shut up, both of you!” Dean screamed, then to John, “You, outside, now!”

“No!” Lauren said harshly. “I told you there was more, maybe you should hear it before you snap to judge…”

Dean ignored the second part of what Lauren said and wheeled on his father. “I did everything you said, always, my whole life. I lived to make you proud. I always put the family first, always did what you asked. I had ONE thing of my own in my life, and you took it from me. You had to take the one thing that really made me happy. I wanna know why Dad. You need to tell me what the hell made you think you’re God!”

“Your actions were putting the entire family in danger,” John said.

Lauren looked from son to father and back again. “Dean,” she began.

“No, it’s okay,” John said, straightening up, his face getting a little sterner. “Let him say what he feels he needs to say. It’s about time he got a damned backbone!”

Dean’s mouth dropped. “Backbone? You want me to have a backbone? You drilled backbone right out of me Dad, and now you’re complaining about it? I don’t get you, not at all! I was always the good little soldier boy, doing everything Daddy dearest asked!” Dean was pacing now, stalking back and forth in front of John like a cat eyeing its prey before going in for the kill. His hands were shaking, his voice trembled. “Once Lauren was gone, all I wanted was for the three of us to be together. You disappear, I go find Sam, you show back up again, we all nearly die, then you disappear again. Sam and I look for you again, over a year now, and now you show up again? Why Dad? Why here, why now? Why her?”

“Valid questions, very valid,” John nodded his head, but he said no more.

“Don’t patronize me, you son of a bi*ch!” Dean yelled, stepping toe-to-toe with his father, staring him down.

“You think you’re man enough to take me down Dean?” John stared coldly at his son.

Lauren stepped up to them, about to get in the middle when they both said, “Back off,” without so much as looking at her.

She stepped back, sitting on the couch, head in hands, fingers running through her own hair, trying to figure out what to do. She was glad Sam had taken Angel out. He must have known it was going to get ugly. She also knew in her heart that Dean really needed this. She just hated being the reason for him finally standing up to his father, especially after everything John had done for her family. Dean doesn’t know the whole story; a voice in her head reminded her. This isn’t fair to either of them. She went into the bedroom to grab something and came back out. The battle waged on in front of her.

“I can’t believe I trusted you, never questioned anything you asked me to do. You said jump, I checked to see how high. Look at you; you’re a pathetic, weak old man. You wasted your whole life, and mine and Sam’s childhoods on what? Nothing, that’s what. We’re no closer now to killing that thing that took Mom than we were a year ago. Maybe I should have let Sam shoot you in the heart when you were possessed…”

“That’s enough!” Lauren thundered, slamming a baseball bat down on the coffee table in front of her, then moving in between Dean and John. “You, sit down,” she said to Dean, poking him in the chest with the baseball bat before pointing it at a chair behind him.

Dean glared at her defiantly. “Sit down or hit a neutral corner Dean. You have no idea what you’re talking about here and I don’t want you to say anything else you’re going to regret." She raised the bat higher, letting Dean know she meant business.

“John, I’m sorry,” she began. John just shook his head no, blinking back the tears in his eyes before Dean could see them. But Lauren saw them. Lauren knew the damage Dean had done, even though John hid it from his son even now.

“Dean, you’re going to hear the rest of this now if I have to tie you to a chair. I tried to tell you before.”

”I know all I need to know,” Dean said coolly.

“No, you really don’t. That man saved MY life, he saved Angel’s life, Dean.”

“What the hell are you talking about, he sent you away. I could have protected you myself!” Dean yelled

Lauren just shook her head, turning away from Dean now as she spoke. “John, may I?” she asked.

“Go ahead Lauren, it’s ok,” he answered softly. "It's your story to tell and he really should hear it from you."


Lauren took a deep breath. “OK,” she began, “I was living in this house over in North Carolina. Your dad had helped me find the place when I first left. Great house, good neighborhood; I loved the place. So, I hadn’t seen or talked to your dad since he’d dropped me there. Kinda hated him back then, to be honest. Sorry, John, but I did.” John shrugged it off. “I was lonely, missing you like crazy, then Angel came along, and she just lit up my whole world. I wanted her to grow up in that place…”

She stopped, taking a deep breath. John looked at her sympathetically as she shook her head, not wanting to relive this again. Dean didn’t like this connection she seemed to have with his dad, but he was calming her a bit and it was obvious she was upset.

“So Angel was just a baby, in fact it was her six month birthday,” the pitch in Lauren’s voice shifted and Dean’s heart nearly stopped as he realized what she was going to say (she has abilities, oh God, the demon came after Angel? Lauren had to live through that?). “I put Angel to bed that night, just like every other night. A few hours later she starts crying and I go to see what’s wrong, and there’s this man in her room.” Lauren’s voice cracked now and she began to tremble. John walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, beginning to rub them gently. Lauren continued, not quite facing Dean, her profile told him how hard this was. “Well, not really a man, more like a shadow. I screamed, and it turned and next thing I knew, I was up against the wall, like this thing that pinned me when it attacked me at work. I felt myself going up the wall, toward the ceiling and Angel was crying and there was nothing I could do….” Lauren buried her face in her hands for a moment, then took a deep breath. “And then, this guy busts through the door, shooting some kind of shotgun and the thing disappears. He grabbed Angel and me and helped us outside, and the bedroom just exploded in flames. Ten seconds longer and Angel and I would both be dead!”

Lauren leaned her head against John’s chest and wept. John stroked her hair gently, “It’s ok,” he said softly. “It’s over.”

“Thank you!” she said to him. “You could have gotten yourself killed in the process. You risked your life for us and I will never forget it!”

John Winchester smiled at her through misty eyes, touching her cheek with his hand softly as he said, “I’d do it again in a heartbeat! You’re both worth it, all of it.”

“This is all very touching,” Dean said, regretting his tone as soon as the words came out of his mouth. “But how did you know the demon would go to Lauren’s house? How did you know Angel would be in danger?”

“Apparently, he knew Angel would be a target because of her abilities,” Lauren said, looking at John.

“These abilities appear to run in families, sometimes passed down from generation to generation,” John said.

“Yeah, but Lauren, you told Sam you don’t have any abilities.”

“The abilities apparently run on Angel’s father’s side of the family. I think her grandmother may have had them,” Lauren said, glancing at John. John was silent. “And her uncle has them…”

“Her uncle?” Dean said, not quite putting the pieces together.

“Dean,” Lauren said slowly, trying to help him follow the path. “Jesus, I can’t believe you haven’t figured this out yet. Did you flunk math in high school or something? Angel will be six next month Dean. John came that night because he knew his granddaughter was in danger and he wanted to protect her.” Lauren kneeled on the floor in front of the chair Dean was sitting in now, looking a little lost. She took his hand in her own. “Your dad showed up that night to save his grandchild; his son’s child. John did all of this to protect you, but to protect your child as well. Angel is your daughter Dean.”