• 3Dec 09

  The fat cats had a heart attack

  Two blogs in two weeks Awesome

  Nothing really happened since last week... I got 19.5/20.0 in my math test and, somehow, lots of people know about it and I didn't tell them

  Me and my klassmates got TWO written reports about us in one day

  We are just that awesome

  But the reason we got the first is really stupid Yesterday, our portuguese teacher was sick so they called another one, just for that klass. She was a b!tch! Then someone farted. And it started to smell really bad. And then she said we had a stink bomb. We said we didn't and the smell was a "natural" one. She was like "This is not a natural smell. I know a natural smell and this is definatelly not a natural smell." And we were laughing. And then she wrote the report. And we kept laughing.

  Time for a quiz

  Dear (someone you recently talked to),
  I don't really know how to tell you this but,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning ( to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
  (12),
  (Your name)

  
  1) What's the color of your shirt?
  Blue - I'm in love with your cat
  Red - Our affair is over
  White - I'm joining the Convent
  Black -Our romance is over
  Green- Our socks don't match
  Grey - You're a leprechaun
  Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
  Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
  Brown - The mafia wants you
  No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
  Other -I dislike your eyelashes

  2) Which is your birth month?
  January - That night you picked your nose
  February -When I quoted Forest Gump
  March - When your dwarf bit me
  April - When I tripped on peanut butter
  May - When I finally changed my underwear
  June - When you put coffs on me
  July - When I saw the purple monkey
  August - When you smacked my elbow
  September - Last year when you peed your pants
  October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
  November - When your dog bit my leg
  December - When I threw out your sock drawer

  3) Which food do you prefer?
  Tacos - In your apartment
  Chicken- at your car
  Pasta - Outside of your office
  Hamburgers - Under the bus
  Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
  Lasagna - In your closet
  Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
  Seafood - In a clown suit
  Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
  Pizza - At the mental hospital
  Hot dog - Under a street light
  Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

  4) What's the color of your socks?
  Yellow - Ignore
  Red - Put whipped cream on
  Black - Hit on
  Blue - Knock out
  Purple - Pour syrup on
  White - Carve your initials into
  Grey - Pull the clothes off
  Brown - bite off
  Orange - rubbed anti-bacterial soap on
  Pink - Pull the pants off of
  Barefoot - Sit on
  Other - Drive over

  5) What's the color of your underwear?
  Black - My boyfriend
  White - My father
  Grey - The Catholic Priest
  Brown - The Montreal Canadian's goalie
  Purple - My corned beef hash
  Red - My knee caps
  Blue - My salt-beef bucket
  Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
  Orange - My Blink 182 cd
  Pink - Your 'My Little Pony' collection
  Other --The elephant in the corner

  6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
  One Tree Hill - Senile
  Heroes- Frostbitten
  Lost - High
  Simpsons- Cowardly
  The news - Scarred
  American Idol - Masochistic
  Family Guy - Open
  Gossip Girl - Middle-klass
  Other - ashamed

  7) Your mood right now?
  Happy - How awful you are
  Sad - How boring you are
  Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
  Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
  Depressed - That we're related
  Excited - That I may pee my pants
  Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
  Worried - That your Ford sucks
  Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
  Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
  Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
  Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
  Other - That your driving sucks

  8 )What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
  White - Your toe ring
  Yellow - Your love letters to me
  Red - The pictures from Vegas
  Black - Your pet rock
  Blue - The couch cushions
  Green - Your car
  Orange - Your false teeth
  Brown - Your nose hair clippers
  Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
  Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
  Pink - The cut toenails
  Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

  9) The first letter of your last name?
  A/B - Your criminal record
  C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
  E/F - Your neighbors dog
  G/H - The oil tank from your car
  I/J - Your left ear
  K/L - The results of that blood-sample
  M/N - Your glass eye
  O/P - My common sense
  Q/R - Your mom
  S/T - Your collection of butterflies
  U/V - Your virginity
  W/X - Your sucide note
  Y/Z - Your credit cards

  10) The last letter in your first name?
  A/B - Love your sweet, sweet lips
  C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
  E/F -Never will forget that night
  G/H - Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
  I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
  K/L - Hate your cooking
  M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
  O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
  Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
  S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
  U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
  W/X - Haven't showered in a month
  Y/Z - am better off without you

  11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined
  Soft drink - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
  Soda - I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo
  Milk - The apartment building is on fire
  Water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
  Cider- You ruined my attempts at another world war.
  Juice - I have a passionate interest for mice
  Snapple/Vitamin water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
  Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
  Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
  Beer - Thanks for the Cocaine
  Other - you should stop picking your nose

  12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
  Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
  Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonardo
  France - Best of luck on the sex change
  Spain - With tears of sadness
  China - You make me sick
  Germany - Please don't hurt me
  Japan - Go milk a cow
  Greece - Your everlasting enemy
  USA - Love always
  Egypt - Kiss my ass
  England - Go drown yourself

  Dear Jéssica,
  I don't really know how to tell you this but I'm joining the Convent. I think I realized when I saw the purple monkey at the mental hospital and I saw you pull the pants off of the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your neighbors dog as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet lips and I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo. Best of luck on the sex change, Marta

  Bye dudes

  • Posted Dec 3, 2009 7:49 am PT
  • 12 Comments
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 26Nov 09

  Let the revolution take its toll

  Hi dudes

  Sorry I haven't been around... Damn reality life :angry:

  School has been taking all of my time... And it sucks

  We had a small rock concert inside school on monday We are just that awesome

  I was sick on the weekend But on monday I was better, so I had to go to school. But I got to skip on tuesday morning Doctor's appointment. Apparently, I have to buy an EpiPen and get an appointment in Coimbra's hospital

  The doctor told me the EpiPen can save my life. Her exact words "If you have a really bad crisis, you get a swallen throat, stop breathing and die. The EpiPen can save you". Yep. My mom keeps saying that she'll buy it tomorrow. I think she will only buy it when I have a crisis and end up in the hospital.

  My mom keeps annoying me about my grades. But they are low The only ones that are about right are chemistry (i got 17.5 ) and english (18.2)... The rest are 11's

  I gotta go study But a snack first. I noticed there's chocolat cake in the kitchen

  • Posted Nov 26, 2009 8:51 am PT
  • 6 Comments
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 24Sep 09

  Dr House is in the House y'all

  Hi It's been a long time since I wrote my last blog, but meh

  School has started. It started last Wednesday. I'm in high school now Half of my school is in construction, so the klassrooms on the right side of the school are now conteiners. And that isn't that good. The constructions on the right side will last til Easther and then we'll move to the right side and the left side of the school will be reconstructed. so, til October or November 2010 I'll have klasses in conteiners :angry:

  But so far, school has been kinda cool the part when we all hang out at the city park, not the klasses part, but there has been so very funny moments in klasees tho

  My Math teachers is a woman who has Einstein hair and wears a lab coat all day.

  My Physics-Chemistry teacher is always looking at me in klasses and it's getting creepy :S

  My Biology-Geology is so far the coolest one

  My Filosofy teahcer is really really boring and his head looks like a bowling ball

  My English teacher... she's just awkard

  My Portuguese teacher is the one that mistakes our long-hair guy with a girl

  My PE teacher is just hot hot hot He looks like DB with Paddy eyes. HOT

  On tuesday we went to have lunch at McDonald's. It was cool Then we went to the city park that is just across street from school And we went to the kiddy's park

  And I'm watching too much TV

  Today, me and a friend were sitting in a bench inside school. And in front of us was a cabinet. And she said: You know, a body could fit in there.

  Me: What??

  She: In the cabinet. It's dirty with something that looks like blood and there's plastic on the floor on the right of the cabinet.

  Me: OK, that thingy that looks like blood is probably red ink. And someone left the plastic there. There's no body in there.

  She: Yeah, but a body could fit in there.

  Me: Sure it would. But why there's no smell?

  She: Someone could have put it there this morning, while everyone was in klass.

  Me: Oh yeah right (obviously mocking her)

  She: What?? It could be.

  Me: You're watching WAY too much TV. If you want, open the cabinet.

  She: No way I'm doing that, then I'll traumatized for live. You open it.

  Me: No way, you got me scared.

  And then we letf. Damn cabinet :angry:

  It's quiz time

  Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to at least 15 people and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"'

  Artist:
  Cobra Starship

  Are you male or female?
  Angie... well not really

  Describe Yourself:
  Guilty Pleasure

  How do you feel:
  The world will never do

  Describe where you currently live:
  Living in the sky with diamonds

  What is one wish you would make if you had a genie:
  Wet Hot american Summer

  Biggest turn off:
  You're not in on the joke

  What is your type:
  Hot mess

  Your best friends are:
  Good girls go bad ok not really

  What is life to you:
  I kissed a boy enough said

  Your fear:
  Snakes on a plane that's pretty scary

  What is the best advice you have to give:
  You can't be missed if you never go away

  How I would like to die:
  The city is at war

  My Motto:
  Keep it simple

  Bye y'all Oh now I sound like Alvie

  • Posted Sep 24, 2009 9:02 am PT
  • 7 Comments
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg

See Previous Blog Posts »