• 5Oct 06

  XBox 360, things aren't the same between us anymore.

  XBox 360, clearly our honeymoon is over.

  I still remember the cautious excitement I felt when I forked out that minor mountain of cash for my initial 360 setup. Then came one of the dryest summers in memory for game releases. Nevertheless, my commitment had me buying games that, in a richer release schedule, I doubt I would have bothered with. Four controllers? Check. Charge and Play kits? Yep. Quick charger? Of course. By the time they announced the XBox Live Vision Camera, my buying pattern had developed a rhythm that operated on the level of reflex, like one of those stupid toy drinking birds. As the camera rolled out, I was there to greet it with open arms and take it home like the good little commercial zombie I am. What games would support it? Would there be a good reason to buy one? Surely, smarter men than I had my concerns at heart. Surely, these were men I could trust.

  Now that I've played Totemball, I am sensing that these men are somewhere laughing at me.

  Never mind that it was late, which is bad enough. The game itself is a tragic waste of time and energy. The pivotal concept of the main game is to drive a ball around using basic tank controls activated by suspending your hands in the air and moving them up and down. You collect gems (zzzzz) and totems (zzzzzz), and then you go do it some more. It's like someone took Katamari Damacy, stripped out the style and play mechanics, and replaced the intuitive stick control with the much sketchier camera interface. It's basically a glorified tech demo. EyeToy did it better years ago.

  So is there promise for the Vision camera? Well, if mapping your face onto game characters or being able to wave to your competitors during one of those fever-pitch Uno matches represents promise for you, then I guess it's money wel spent. Without a killer app though, the Vision camera will end up going the Super Scope 6 route. I'm starting to sense that Totemball is indicative of the kind of dedicated Vision support we have to look forward to, and it spells the slowing of my reflexive buying patterns.

  XBox 360, justify my love and restore my faith. Quit nickel-and-dimeing me. Give me peripherals that mean something, and XBLA games worth the points I'm spending on them.

  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean my living room, get dressed and fix my hair so I can play Uno.

  • Posted Oct 5, 2006 2:43 am PT
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