- osobenawitch
- Level: 7 (34%)
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- Member since: Jul 26, 2006
- Last online: 12/10/09 2:01 am PT
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osobenawitch's Blog
There comes a point where you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.
(Laurell K. Hamilton)
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23Sep 09
Hey, guys!
I haven't been here for a while. Miss you! I also miss all the shows I used to watch and stopped for some reason. Some of them got canceled, some of them just took a turn that is not really my type... Happy to say that a couple of weeks ago I found a new show that got my attention. It had ended long time ago but I just found it and I really liked it. I am talking about Queer as folk (US). It's really a great show. Pity I don't get to watch all the episodes in the right order but I am handling it somehow.
I also started to watch True blood but I am still not really into it.I like the main story but some of the side stories are a bit too much for me. H2O is a really nice show, I am waiting for the third season. Fairy-tales are so my kind and mermaids are one of my favorites. I also like Everwood for the human connections it shows.
Now maybe it's time for me to mention the shows I abandoned. First of them is Without a trace. I heard it had ended this year but I actually stopped watching after season 5. I just didn't like it anymore. The second one, I think, is CSI. After the main character Grissom left... I can't imagine it. Haven't watch CSI: Miami for a while too, but maybe I will make it up sometime. I think that are the most significant of the shows I abandoned. Goodbye to them, wish them luck!
Maybe these days I will have time to write something more personal like what is going in my life these days. By then I wish you great time!
Desi
- Posted Sep 23, 2009 1:22 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 0 Comments
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1Jan 09HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody!
I hope you all have a nice party! I wish you all of your dreams to come true in the new 2009!
I am busy, my exams are starting but I will try to write more soon!
See you!- Posted Jan 1, 2009 5:37 pm PT
- Category: Other
- 1 Comment
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26Jul 08
Hey, guys!
Today is my 2 year anniversary here!
I couldn't believe it so much time had passed!This is just a short blog to say that I am still here and I haven't forgotten you. I am just so busy with my two jobs and my lectures at the Uni I don't have time to show up here often. I am really sorry about that. But there is nothing really interesting about me. I hope I will time to write more soon! Have a nice day!
See you!
Desi
- Posted Jul 26, 2008 8:09 am PT
- Category: Writing
- 1 Comment
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24Apr 08
Hey, guys!
It's been a long time since the last time I have been here! I've got a new job and I am so busy with it and my studies in the university that I don't have time for almost anything else. But it's Easter now and I am having a little vacation. I am working now in a bookkeeper's office. I like the job. It's only part time so I could visit my lectures in the uni. I am really happy with it!
But I am not happy with my old boyfriends. For the last month I spoke with three of my ex-boyfriends and they all shocked me, hurt me, disappointed me or something like that. The first one, who I was with four years ago told me that he wants me to hug him when he comes back(he is abroad right now) and I am not sure from where he did get that idea...
The second one, who I broke up with about three years ago, told me that he is in love with me and he is sending me poems and insulting me in the same time. Where the hell he was three years ago when I had a really bad crush on him?
And the third one has got a new girlfriend and is avoiding me right now. I was thinking we were friends - we had a really nice talks and spend some time together, not much, you know, just a nice chat from time to time.
Okay, I am starting to think that boys are from another planet! A girl could have only problems with them. Maybe this is going to sound ridiculous but I am very seriously considering trying with a girl next time. The only problem seems to be that I have never fall in love with a girl...Hope to see you soon!
Love,
Desi
- Posted Apr 24, 2008 6:18 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 3 Comments
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1Jan 08
Happy New Year!
I wish you to have the best year, guys!
My exams are starting now but I will write more soon!
Have fun!
Love,
Desi
- Posted Jan 1, 2008 2:34 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 4 Comments
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13Nov 07
These days something happened and it made me think about some things. There is that boy I have been with about three years ago. We actually never had a real relationship, more like friends with benefits. But an year later I was a little bit disappointed from him I met another boy and we started dating. It lasts eight months. But we remained friends with the other boy(without the benefits). He is a good person, I just don't accept some of his conceptions about the girls and relationships. After I broke up with my ex he started to hints me that he wants to resume our previous relations. Last week he told me that he fell in love with me. At first I was thinking that he wanted just to sleep with me but then I realized that he maybe really had some feelings toward me. I couldn't believe it. Three years ago Ireally had a crush onhim but now... It was so confusing. And the most confusing part is that right now I have the same friendship with benefits with my ex. What a mess! A few months ago a boy told me that I make all the boys think that Ilike them. Now I am looking for somebody new in my life, I definitely need a change.These no-strings-attached relationships gets on my nerves. They are useful when you don't have a constant relationship but sometimes the complications from them are a very big price to pay. Sometimes I had the feeling that all the boys came from a different planet. I just don't understand them.
And in the mean time I need to write a few papers for the university. I don't know how I am going to write them all in time. And one of them is almost twice longer than the usual. And the worse part is that I don't feel like writing any of them. I feel ashamed from myself!
- Posted Nov 13, 2007 11:51 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 9 Comments
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11Oct 07
Hey, guys!
I was thinking about writing some news about how my term is going but I changed my mind. All I will say is that it is hard. I don't feel like writing more about that right now.
Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain't rightThat's from Roy Orbison's song "Only The Lonely" and I feel the same way these days. I feel like I never have been so alone before. I haven't heard my best friend for about two months, my room-mate is so busy with her work and when she get back from there she is usually bringing her boyfriend with her and they are very tired so I don't have the opportunity to speak with them. And most of my friends are at their Universities so there is nobody left at home. So the only social contacts I have are with my fellow-students but.... Okay, lets say that I am not very good in communicating with them. I just couldn't find topics to speak with them and I am tired of speaking for lectures, professors and that sort of things. I need somebody to give mean advice what should I do with my emotions, somebody to speak with normally, seriously and without thinking if I am interesting to him/her. Actually that's my biggest problem in the communication - I am so afraid of being boring that I am really getting boring and I am saying so stupid things sometimes... I think that actually my fellow-students, or at least these I spend more time with - my room-mate and two other girls(especially one of them probably, she is the most clever from them and the oldest in the group),think that I am stupid and infantile but the truth is that I am not. I just want to get attention. I know that sometimes I am acting like a child but that's because I don't know what to say or what to do. I feel like I am from another universe and I don't belong to their world. I am getting depressed, I need a friend. I feel like I am going to explode!
See you soon,
Desi
- Posted Oct 11, 2007 4:07 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 5 Comments
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6Oct 07
Okay, I think that I am getting crazy. My ex-boyfriend just got back from USA where he spend the summer. We spend together a few hours and we had sex.
I couldn't believe it. Where I lost my mind? Yeah, I haven't been with anybody for a while but.... I have never thought that I could do that. Right now I hate myself.And now something else:
I just learned who is the father of the baby of Sam Spade(Without a trace) and I so much disappointed so I am not planning to watch it anymore. And if Jorja Fox leaves CSI I won't watch this show too. Two of my favorite show are probably gone for me....
Not feeling good!Please Jorja, stay!
- Posted Oct 6, 2007 4:54 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 10 Comments
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27Sep 07
I felt like writing something these days but as many times before I didn't know what to write. Most of the people here are busy with the start of the new season but I will see the premiereslater and I still have some time to wait so I didn't feel like writing about that. I thought about a few other topics but none of them was... suitable. So I start thinking for something new. And then I realized that I could never think of something new, something original. I am just not that type of a person. I love to write, not only blogs and fanfics but also some stories and other things but the truth is that I always get the idea from somewhere, I just make it better(on my own opinion) and add some other things. Actually I usually get a few ideas and make a new one. That's not bad but... I wish it was different. I have an imagination. I know it because it saved me from the loneliness so many times in the past and in the present. I think that I started imaging things when I was somewhere about four or five years old. I was lying in my small bed and I was dreaming to be a fairy. Sometimes I still do that. Maybe the most people will think that I am crazy for believing in fairies and elves and some other things but... I feel them like old friends of mine. But when I want to write something about all these things in my head.... somehow the words are now enough, not suitable. Everything I could think of is unoriginal, written before, silly and I feel like I am killing them.
I remember the first time I read a book on my own. I was about seven years old and I read a trivial fairytale but it wasn't the thing that impress me. It was the way the letters turned into pictures and a story just in front of my eyes. I always wanted I could do that too. But I couldn't. I know words and I feel hem in the books I read but I couldn't taste them in my own writings - the bitter-sweet taste of the verbs, the salty taste of the adjectives, the metal taste of the nouns.... Every book, story or just a piece of writing had his own taste, his own life but not mine. I couldn't feel them. Why I could see them in my imagination but I couldn't feel them when I write them on paper?
- Posted Sep 27, 2007 3:46 pm PT
- Category: Writing
- 3 Comments
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6Sep 07
Hey, guys!
As far as missed my 1 year anniversary here a month ago, when I was thinking to do this revision, I am going to do it now:
So I came here for a first time about 2 years ago but I was only searching an information for a TV show(ER) and I wasn't very interested in registering. A few months later I needed an information for another show (CSI) and I remembered about this site and came here again. After that I started regularly to check this site for the new episodes of my favorite shows but still didn't feel like registering. It was that way since July, 26th last year when I finally was able to see the last episode from season 6 of CSI "Way to go" and I felt like writing a review. So I registered. At first I wasn't very aware how to use the full possibilities of the site but I found friends who explained me. First was lobomensh who I found in the Star Trek Enterprise forums. After that came the guys from the Without a trace forum - Helene (CharmedGirl7), Liz(burrcat), Shannon(jadedragon), Kimberly(pealee). I spent hours every day talking with them - in the forums, PMs, mails... With the start of the new season I started to read more forums. I met Maisy, grissomsidleand a lot other nice people(I am sorry for everybody I couldn't mention) and now I have about 40 people in my friends list and with most of them I really talk or at least I am reading their blogs and reviews. I have written over 1000 messages in the forums(CSI, CSI:Miami, Without a trace, House, Blood Ties and some other) and 20 reviews. I am not veryactive in that but I gained almost 11 levels. This is my 46th blog. At first my blogs were only personal mostly about my ex-boyfriend. Then I started to talk about my interests. My personal life wasn't on the line anymore and maybe this was for better.
So here I am 1 year anda few computer break downs later.So now something out of the revision thing. A couple ofmonths ago countrymuzluvrhelped me to decide how to end my fanfic "Hiding", he also was willing to help me with the beta-reading but my computer crushed (again
) and I wasn't able to write it on it. I wrote it on paper and a few days ago I decided that it's about time to do so on the computer. But when I started I changed my mind about somethings in the story so I rewrite chapter 10 today... But I don't know if countrymuzluvr want to and have the time to beta read it and I also lost his e-mail.
I haven't heard anything from my previous beta Shannon for a while... I don't know what's going on with her. So if he is busy now and don't want to see it I don't know when I will post this chapter. Sorry! Really, really sorry! See you soon!
Desi
- Posted Sep 6, 2007 10:59 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 3 Comments
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3Sep 07
Yippee! I have a birthday! Here is 2am now and from two hours I am 21. I don't have a planned party or something special for today but I hope that my friends will call. Most of them know when my birthday is.
You know, sometimes when there is occasions like this I wonder how the time passes. Did we usually notice how fast it is flying? It was like yesterday when I was starting school... I was seven. Now I am twenty one, I graduated from High school two years ago and in a two weeks I will be back to my university to start my third year there. And the saddest thing is that I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Yes, I have some ideas and dreams but they are too... dreamy. Soon I read a blog from my friend. I wish I had her gift for writing. Yes, it was in our native language and this is easier than to write it in English(which she actually speaks fluently) but I could never do something like that. She just have a feeling for the words she use to express things and to me words never came easy. I admire her and envy her in the same time.
But now is not the time for that. It's time for party and there is some birthday cake for everybody who read this! I hope there not so many mistakes.
Love,
Desi
- Posted Sep 3, 2007 4:46 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 4 Comments
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31Aug 07
Hey, guys!
I just wanted to tell you that after about twenty days I am back. My computer is still not in his best condition but things are definitely better. I hope that very soon everything will be alright.
Now I have a request: please update me about the newest things about the this season premieres. I checked all shows I watch but in the most places there were about 200-300 new messages so I couldn't read them all. Please tell me! I want to know about Sam's pregnancy(WaT), Sara(CSI) and everything else you could tell me. Thank you!
I missed you, guys!
Have a nice day!
Desi
- Posted Aug 31, 2007 3:42 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 7 Comments
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7Aug 07
I have a huge problem with my computer. Two weeks ago my Antivirus program expired and I was attacked by viruses so I needed to reinstall my Windows. But after that the problems started. My mouse is not working well, the Num Lock turns on and off whenever it want and about every five minutes I need to restart because everything just stops and the computer don't want to do anything. I couldn't install anything new on it and now I don't have Microsoft Word so I don't know when I will be able to type my fics( I had to write them on paper
) so sorry for everybody who is waiting. I can't do anything with the music vids I have planned, so sory about that too.A friend of mine thinks that the problem is maybe that one of the fans in the computer probably is gone but he lives in another town and he couldn't come and take a look so I don't know when it will be fixed.
Sometimes when I am lucky I check my e-mail and the forums I am in, my account here too but it's pretty troubled.
You know with these problems I forgot about my 1 year anniversary here. It was July, 26th.
Hope to see you soon,
Desi
- Posted Aug 7, 2007 2:21 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 10 Comments
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25Jul 07
In Bulgarian the book will came officially December, 13th. But we already have it in English so I borrow it from a friend of mine. I was pretty surprised how the things developed. I expected that there will bea lot of dead people but this 'blood bath' was a little cruel for me. I also was pretty surprised that Fred die. I was expecting that somebody from Weasleys will die but I was thinking for Percy, Charlie, Arthur but not for the twins(or one of them). I felt so sad for Tonks and Lupin too. You know I was hoping for them to survive.
But I started from the end and this is not right. So let me start again:
Dudley surprised me with his admitting that Harry saved him but we didn't find out what he actually saw when the dementors attacked him. But I knew that Petunia couldn't express any feelings toward Harry because she was too angry and envy her sister. I felt sorry for Moody but it wasn't unexpected that he die, I just though that it will be somewhere later in the book. Dumbledore's will and the refusal of the Minister to give Harry the sword didn't surprise me at all. I mean that the gifts was surprising but there was logical for him to left them something. For the break in the Ministry I won't say anything because it wasn't been very intriguing for me(sorry
). But the silver doe intrigued me very much. Somehow, without any logical reason, I knew it was Snape's patron. But for Snape I will say more a little bit later. Now back to the forest. I liked the idea for Potterwatch. It was something different in the monotonous running and hiding. Dobby's death was touching and I felt really sad. But I missed the Godric's Hollow. You know I felt that something is wrong when it became clear that Bathilda knew they were there. But they were under the cloak, how she knew? Like she was seeing them. But I thought that it was stupid from myself to connect this scene with the scene where Ron's father was attacked in the Ministry so I just shook my head and kept reading. And... you know, I don't think I have what more to say about this scene.The battle for Hogwarts was epic and I really liked most of it but somehow I felt so sad because of all who died. I knew this is a war and there couldn't be some victims but...
Dumbledore's family story make me feel comfortable with him. You know, I liked Albus but I had the feeling that he is too good, too perfect and it was sort of uncomfortable because he made me feel bad. But now I am finally feeling him as a normal person, not a saint.
The story of the Deathly Hollows was really good but I don't have what to say about it. Everything is said maybe in the book - the wand that never will harm her master, the stone that give you time to say goodbye to the people you lost and the cloak, that makes you equal to The Death... The all had their place in the story.
So I came to the story of Severus Snape. People's opinions about him was in the both ends - some of them hated him, others loved him, but I never had such a feeling for him. I didn't liked him or disliked him, I knew he was from the good guys and I was thinking that he is the most complicated character in the books but that's all. I also expected that he was in love with Lily and that was the reason Albus to trust him but I wasn't expected that we will see the story so completely, so intimately and so touching. I really felt sorry for Snape. He lost his love, his best friend and he had to kill the only man who trusted him. He was left alone with the pain. And he needed Harry to understand him and forgive him that's why he gave him all his memories and not only the one with Dumbledore's instructions. The way he die watching Harry's (Lily's) eyes... I almost cry.
He deserved better fate.The epilogue was really nice but I felta little bitdisappointed. We didn't understand who is the next Hogwarts' headmaster, or who is the new Minister, or what the main characters do for living and a lot of other details I wanted to know. And for 7 books we didn't understand anything about Minerva McGonagall. She was always there and that's all. I think she deserved some more attention.
And now something else than Harry Potter:
I am sorry, I know I promise that I will finish the next chapter of "Hiding", countrymuzluvr, but I was so busy reading Harry Potter I just drop it. I will try it as soon as I could.
I read some disappointing news about Grissom and Sara and also about Sam Spade and I feel sad...
See you, guys!
Love,
Desi
- Posted Jul 25, 2007 3:44 am PT
- Category: Writing
- 3 Comments
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19Jul 07
I used Movie Maker for my first music vid but it was an old version and there wasn't the option for adding titles and credits in it so I updated it. But my new Movie maker is failing when I add a few clips to the vid because my RAM is only 256MB.
So I need a new program to make vids with less requirements for RAM. Could somebody tell me some suitable programs? Please? I really want to make my vids.Love,
Desi
- Posted Jul 19, 2007 2:26 am PT
- Category: Computers
- 2 Comments
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13Jul 07
Guys, I finally found out how to make a music vids so you could see my first one. It's Sam/Martin from "Without a trace". For all my GSR and CaRWash friends I promise there will be vids too.
I will be happy if you tell me your opinion about this. And thanks to countrymuzluvr1 for the help! - Posted Jul 13, 2007 5:52 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 2 Comments
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9Jul 07
I am bored, guys. I feel absolutely empty. I still don't have a job and I the only thing I am doing whole day is to play The Sims 2. It is a nice game but that's not what I imagined about my summer. I am trying to finish my fics "Hiding" and "Drugged" but I am still pretty confused how to end the first one and I just couldn't find the right words for the second one. I have the idea but... there was a song with this title: "Words don't come easy to me" and in this case it's true. I know what I want to say the problem is how.
It seem that my English skills are not enough. Or maybe I should wait my muse to show up. But I definitely need help for "Hiding". I just can't decide which plot to use for the final chapters.Now somenice things:
There are less than two weeks left till Harry Potter book 7will bereleased. Yippee! I like this books and I don't care that my family thinks that I am crazy.
It's sad that in Bulgaria it will came after a few months and now I wil have to read it in English if I don't want to wait but... I'll survive that.The other good thing is that grissomsidle made a GSR video on the song "Hopelessly Devoted to You" by Olivia Newton John. I imagined this video for long time and it'sgreat that finally somebody made it. Thank you, honey, you made my day!
She uploaded it for everybody who want to see it here:http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6QeWKBVOuTo
GSR!
Love,
Desi
- Posted Jul 9, 2007 6:30 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 4 Comments
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27Jun 07
Hi, guys!
I felt like writing so I will tell you my new problems with finding a job for the summer. My vacation started about a month ago and I want to work somewhere so I could have some extra money. Last week a friend of mine tells me that there was a book-keeper company who is looking for new people and probably they will take me. So I went to check. The owner said that she would take me for the summer but she was too busy so we couldn't talk much. So I started on Monday and I spend there two days. I saw here 2 or 3 times for this time and she was crazy. I couldn't talk with her for the conditions but I understand that the salary actually is for a half working day but you work full 8 hours so I decide that it's not worth to hear her screaming and watch her throws papers all around just because she is crazy and angry. And I left. And I don't have a job again. I hope I will find one soon because I need money(who actually doesn't?
) Somebody to have an idea?
Smiles,
Desi
- Posted Jun 27, 2007 5:46 am PT
- Category: Business
- 9 Comments
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19Jun 07
I am writing this to distract myself from my fanfic "Hiding". It's SamMartin from "Without a trace" and I have ready 10 chapters. The problem are the next chapters. At first I had an idea for the entire fic but it takes me too much time to write it. After that Helene(CharmedGirl7) wrote a fic with the similar idea I had for the end of mine but I decided to keep it like the original idea was. But a few days ago when I turned back to writing "Hiding" a new idea for the end came to me and now I don't know which one to write - the original or the new one? If I write the original idea the new one I might be able to write as a new fic but I am not sure about that. I just feel confused and I couldn't write anything. Sorry for all of you who are waiting for it. It seemed that it will take a little longer. For those who want to read what is finished by now, it's here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3346896/1/
I hope to see you very soon!
Love,
Desi
- Posted Jun 19, 2007 5:42 am PT
- Category: Writing
- 10 Comments
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29May 07
Hey, guys!
I was just thinking to update you with some new about me. I am done with my exams. I took all of them - not excellent but with good ratings. I am free now for a while. Probably soon I will get a job but I will try to finish all my fics and maybe to write some new ones.
The other thing I want to tell you about is the concert of George Michael in Bulgaria last night. He sang for freedom for our medics in Libya, the campaign "You are not alone". We all hope that these five women will come back home soon.
And something personal: I missed you guys!
Love,
Desi
- Posted May 29, 2007 2:32 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 8 Comments
