• 7Oct 09

  Update on last blog

  I want to thank those people who had written comments of encouragement on my recent blog. It really meant a lot to me. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am doing much better. I have been spending time praying about this whole situation. I know that there is a reason all of this happened. My husband tells me many times that our lives are so much better since we left this church. As I didn't describe in my last blog, this church is borderline cultish that used heavy pressure tactics to get you do to what they want. If we had still been at this church, he would not have been able to deploy to Iraq, which allowed him to eventually get a huge promotion and allowed us to finally buy our first house last year (we lived in an apartment prior to that) and for me to finally go back to school and finish my degree. Also, I have real friends at my new church and I don't have to jump through hoops for their approval. I am going to start counseling soon to get over this whole situation. Plus, my anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication is also a big help. I have been thinking about this situation and I think that the reason why I have not been able to truly get over this is because, due to how the situation was handled by the church--I never really got closure. The only thing is that I don't know how to even get closure in this situation.
  • Posted Oct 7, 2009 11:40 pm PT
  • Category: Other
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• 7Sep 09

  Recent hospital stay

  As some of you might know, I was in the hospital about a week and a half ago for about 5 days. Although I've been home for a week, it's taken this long to be able to sit and write about what happened. Several years ago, I was kicked out of my church because I challenged a leader (ie the preacher's son) on some questionable behaviors of his. I could explain the situation, but it's not really the point in the long run. I emailed him telling that I thought his behavior was unacceptable and that, considering he was a leader and a supposed role model, he made me sick. Well, I had recieved an email from his dad--the preacher telling me that because I was unwilling to address the sinful attitudes and actions which "I have allowed to control me for so long" it was time to find another church to "plant my bitter root". You cannot imagine how badly this had hurt me. To tell me this via email was extremely cruel, like he didn't think enough of me to tell me personally. Seriously, if you get fired from your job, would you really want to hear about it in an email?!?!? Not to mentioned that I lost most of my friends because the preacher told the congregation not to have anything to do with me. Anywho, last Friday (August 2 was the anniversary of this event. So, I started to become depressed. A few days before this "anniversary" (which was August 25), I decided to blog my feelings in a note on Facebook. I had several motives in mind for this: 1) to tell people that might be in a similar situation that they were not alone, 2) blindly thinking that if the church saw how badly I was hurt by this whole situation that it might help them to think about that before doing it to someone else, 3) to let them know that what I had said in my email to him was a complete misunderstanding and I should have given this preacher's son the benefit of the doubt and not jumped to conclusions w/out hearing his side of the event and that I am not their enemy and not out to destroy them or their church and 4) to give praise to my current church because they have been my saving grace over the last several years. They had shown me the true meaning of Godly friendship and God's love. The next day, I checked my facebook and there were a couple of vicious attacks on my wall. One was actually from this preacher's son who said thatI was delusional and to not contact his wife anymore--who was one of my Facebook friends. Another person also wrote and said that I was basically stirring up expletive. I was already upset and these comments was like offering a shot of tequila to a recovering alcoholic or telling a person with anorexia that they are fat. It just got to be too much, so I grabbed every prescription bottle in the house I could find (3 total with about 100 pills total) and took them. About 45 minutes later, my husband came home from work and called an ambulance. He wasn't due home for another 5 hours, but Sara (my daughter, who's away at college) read the Facebook comments and something I had posted, got worried and called my husband and told him what happened and he needed to get home. After 2 days in ICU and another 3 days in the hospital, I was able to come home. But it was a day too late to attend my niece's baby shower. I still cannot believe that, after all this time, I am still letting these people upset me like this. And, with me having such a great church now, I don't know why I cannot get over this and it's causing me to be so depressed. This situation is also hurting my relationship with my husband and daughter because they cannot seem to understand why I am focusing on this and not on my family.

  • Posted Sep 7, 2009 8:20 pm PT
  • Category: Relationships
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• 19Jun 09

  My Florida vacation

  My family and I went to Orlando, Florida a couple of weeks ago. We've been there 3 other times before, but this time was different. First of all, we usually do Disney, Universal and SeaWorld. But this time we stayed at All-Star Music--a Disney Resort. We usually stay at either a hotel or at a time share my husband gets through his work. We went to all four of the Disney parks this time plus we took public transportation to Seaworld. This time, because we were primarily doing Disney and they had bus service, we saved money on renting a car. We got a meal plan, which consisted of two meals and two snacks a day. This plan allowed us to have a $15 dollar off coupon for Planet Hollywood. I had never been, but really enjoyed it. As I learned, of course, the 15 dollar coupon barely paid for one meal. With our meals, we were able to get desserts with all our meals, which we wouldn't normally do otherwise. We also went to Wolfgang Puck resteraunt which was a 60 dollar meal that we got for free. In otherwords, we got spoiled. The parks were great. With staying at the resort, we got to go to the parks early or stay after closing some days, but it was extremely crowded. It was fun riding Tower of Terror in the dark. I was disappointed though because Space Mountain was closed. Overall, we had a good time. There were a few drawbacks though. One, I wanted to go to Typhoon Lagoon--the disney waterpark. But my husband and daughter insisted we go to SeaWorld instead. Meanies :-p Also, my daughter stepped on her straightener and got her foot caught between the plates. It was still on, so she royally burned both the top and bottom of her foot--which after two weeks still hasn't healed. Finally, one of the days we were on the bus, some guy s*** his pants and we were stuck on there for a good 15 minutes smelling it. It was horrible!!!

  • Posted Jun 19, 2009 12:46 pm PT
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