I was tired and not feeling well getting up this morning. But I had to go to work. Stopped and mailed some Christmas gifts overseas.... $40 for two packages. Not a great start on the day. Got to work. Bad news. I have to cover a couple in crisis - tomorrow - because I'm on duty and they couldn't do it today. Blah. Best of all, they can't come until 4 pm, which means my early day home is gone. Eventually got to my office. I had 20 minutes to finish up some paperwork to make the afternoon look brighter. Instead I got a bunch of supervisors and even more students doing their end-of-semester chit-chat. Of course, they were right outside my office, talking really loud. One guy thought humming was a great pastime between students. No work got done and I left with even more of a headache than I came with to see a client who was miserable like always. Good way to get a perspective, but then I was running a little late for my lunch appointment. Lunch was good, but the rain on the way back wasn't exactly icing on the cake since I didn't have an umbrella. I eventually got back to work, and my email on my computer was throwing fits. I was allowed some time to "complain" (I originally used the word for female dog because it was a better description of what I did, but it was censored - hah!) to some (wonderful) co-workers before I had to go to a presentation. As I walked to the presentation I kept thinking that it would be wonderful to go home, get in bed, have my two cats come and cuddle, waiting for someone to come home, crawl in bed with me, and tell me he loves me. The brutal reality didn't allow that fantasy to come true..... So, I went to the presentation, talked to some people afterwards, planned a gingerbread house building party Friday night, went home and plopped down with a disk of season 1 of NCIS. And now, Miami is coming on and I'm going to watch another hour of mindless tv before going to bed. And maybe I'll dream that my fantasy will come true. Maybe a dream guy entering my bed will make up for the lack of a real one... But the real thing'd be nice.

I attended a work pot luck today. As I was driving home - having been faced with several happily married people with and without children - I realized that I'm really happy with my life. I'm happy with being in school and working with the people I work with. I'm happy not being Miss Social Butterfly, and instead spend a lot of time at home with my cats, my books, and my tv - on my couch, by my computer, in my bed. I'm happy being single and free from children. I'm content with studying a lot and having a few people in my life who really seem to get me.

Realizing this after observing others who have what I really wish for in life, while being on a 3-week-and-counting period, and not having much money or free time, was a true gift. I'm happy with my life, and there are a lot of people who can't say that.

Thanks.

I finished a huge paper today. As a reward I get to watch tv for a while tonight before continuing with a presentation and a second paper tomorrow. It's interesting that I expected a sense of accomplishment and relief from finishing this paper and didn't receive it. I wonder why.

On the agenda tonight is: Smallville, Criminal Minds, and CSI Miami. And I'm combining that with some pizza.