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• 10Jul 09

  Baka-Magician Ep. 10: Sidekick recruit + Notice

  BakaPart 11

  Setting: Eric has setup a sidekick recruit convenction

  Eric: And now it begins!

  *a huge line of recruits are in place...too bad most of them look like rejects*

  Eric: *sarcastically* Whoopie-doo! What a great time I am going to have! First!
  *recruit comes up*

  And you are?

  Recruit 1: I am Self-Destruct Man!

  Eric: And what do you do?

  Recruit 1: Why self-destruct of course! Like this!

  Eric: Oh God! *takes cover*

  BOOM

  *comes up*

  Next?

  Recruit 2: I am Nothing Man!

  Eric: And what do you do?

  Recruit 2: NOTHING!

  Eric: Then how the hell are you supposed to be useful?

  Recruit 2: By doing nothing!

  Eric: -_-' NEXT!

  Recruit 2: No wait! *is thrown outside by security guards*

  Eric: *sees next recruit and before the recruit say anything*

  No, no, no, I don't want to know.

  Recruit 3: *name tag is censored*...But I am Dild...

  Eric: I don't know, and I don't WANT to know. NEXT!

  Recruit 3: But-*is thrown outside*

  Eric: Jesus Christ! *holds a megaphone* Folks, if you are an already rejected sidekick, then leave NOW!

  [The place becomes almost empty]

  *Someone else comes up* I'm the mailman.

  Eric: Wow, delivering mail, that's sure going to help me.

  Mailman: No, I'm here to deliver mail.

  Eric: Of course, the day will be saved by the mailman, guards toss him outside.

  Mailman: But you don't get it! I'm the mailman AH! *is thrown outside*

  Advisor: Sir, you do realize that's an actual mailman, not a recruit right?

  Eric: *face palm* Stupid, stupid, stupid

  Recruit 4: Don't be down!

  Eric: Oh my God! Finally some potential!

  Recruit 4: You won't ever be disappointed with me around!

  Eric: Oh thank God! *notices knife and a "S" on the shirt* Hmm, you have a dorky voice and a strange costume, but that can be made over.

  Recruit 4: *flushed* Oh Gosh...

  Eric: *smiles* So I take it you're "Stab Man" or something like that?

  Recruit 4: Of course not!

  Eric: Huh?

  

  Recruit 4: I am Suicide Man!

  Eric: *bangs table with hands* No, no, no, no, WHY?

  Suicide Man: Now, now, I know how you feel, but if you get to know me-

  Eric: *angry* No, shut up and go away! The last thing I need is a emo who fights crime!

  *an emo is crying in the background*

  -_-

  Suicide Man: Look, just give me a chance and I'll-

  Eric: GUARDS! THROW HIM AWAY!

  Suicide Man: No wait! Stop! I'll kill myself if you can any closer!

  *guards come closer*

  I will give you no mercy! *starts stabbing self* Die! Die! *weaker* die...diee..

  *dies and guards throws body away*

  Eric: -_-' Sure, and have someone come in with a crystal ball and tell me the future!

  *someone with a crystal ball comes in*

  Let me guess, you are Crystall ball me, and you use a horoscope to scare villains away?

  ????: No, I want to be your psychic.

  Eric: I'm sure you do, but a crystal ball isn't going to stop the bad guys.

  ????: Bad guys? I thought you wanted me to predict your future. Um, what's a "future" by the way?

  Eric: Future? You come in here with a crystal ball and demand to know what a future means?

  ????: Is that what it means? I would've never guessed. If I know what "guess means.

  Eric: Oh Jesus! What kind of a idiot are you? *recalls* Oh now I know! You're the town idiot, George.

  

  George: I guess so.

  Eric: Psst, hey George, why don't you leave and uh, steal some free bread or something?

  George: Oh okay!

  *Eric closes down the convention*

  Kansas: Hey Eric! How did the recruiting go?

  Eric: *sarcastically* Perfect! I mean, how could you NOT go wrong with a recruit that self-destructs, does nothing, or ugh, I don't even want to think about what I saw in that third recruit.

  Kansas: That bad?

  Eric: Do you want me to answer that?

  Kansas: Yes.

  Eric: There's your answer.

  *Meanwhile in the background*

  [George is holding a gun and is robbing deli that store...that is offering free bread today]

  George: Hand over the free bread!

  Salesman: Oh no! Our precious free bread! What ever are going to do without them? *hands George free bread and he runs away*

  Kansas: Halt in the name of-*Eric holds him back* Why are you letting him get away?

  Eric: He's not worth your time. Trust me. He's just stealing free bread.

  Kansas: Oh I see, the town idiot.

  Eric. Yep.

  NOTE: I am now going to be posting BMonly Fridays so that I can have enough time to write the next parts. Also you wanted to know what that 3rd recruit was, read this backwards:

  namodlid

  • Posted Jul 10, 2009 12:14 pm PT
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• 6Jul 09

  Baka-Magician Episode 9: The Cookies are Set!

  Part 9

  *Setting at the Gingerbread house, children can be seen running towards it*

  Billy: Look Sally! A house made of gingerbread cookies

  Sally: Looks tasty Billy! Let's eat it!

  Billy: Whoopee!

  *they both runs towards and starts NOM NOM NOM*

  *Inside the house of the Gingerbread Man. Where he's holding his council meeting.*

  Gingerbread: Now then Mindy, what's your say on the conquest of the world?

  *silence*

  Take your time.

  *hears munching noises*

  What the?

  *goes outside and sees children looking at him frightened*

  What do you think you're doing-*notices his a part of his house eaten*

  HOW DARE YOU! I WENT THROUGH THE TROUBLE OF BUILDING THIS HOUSE! AND NOW YOU LITTLE BRATS PAY FOR IT!

  *children runs away*

  *Meanwhile at Eric's (messy) house*

  Eric: How long will be it before Kansas notices the house is still the same. *rubs chin*

  *phone rings and Eric picks it up*

  Hello?

  Kansas: Eric! It's urgent!

  Eric: What's going o-

  Kansas: There's no time!

  *phone hangs up*

  Eric: ...okay

  *at police headquarters*

  Eric: What's the big de-

  Kansas: Shh! In here! *they both are in a janitor's room*

  Eric: Okay, as I was saying, what's the big deal?

  Kansas: The Gingerbread Man

  Eric: -_-' Dear Lord, you mean I went through the trouble of going from my house to here just for some cookies?

  Kansas: Eric, you don't understand. It's THE Gingerbread Man

  Eric: *confused* Come again?

  Kansas: Well actually, it's someone who thinks he is the Gingerbread Man. Or should say was a somebody, but then turned into a nobody when he-

  Eric: Let's just get to the point.

  Kansas: Er, yes, sorry. You know how I am. Since we were high school buddies. Always the philosophical-

  Eric: -_-'

  Kansas: Okay, okay. Sheesh, no need to be so grumpy. Anyhow, on that the day, the bakery was robbed-

  Eric: Who robs a bakery for God's sake?

  Kansas: Eric, please listen, this is important. This ghost of a man who believes he is the Gingerbread Man.

  *offscreen*

  Gingerbread Man: *offended* How dare you! I AM THE Gingerbread Man

  Eric: Did you just hear something?

  Kansas: *confused* No...You're probably just hearing voice-

  Eric: I'm not schizophrenic.

  Kansas. Sorry about that.

  Eric: Okay, but WHY are we here?

  Kansas: It's Willy.

  Eric: What about him?

  Kansas: He's afraid of ghosts.

  Eric: *resists to chuckles*

  *offscreen*

  Willy: I'm not afraid of ghosts! I just don't believe in them.

  Eric: Willy?
  Kansas: What? Eric are you sure you're really not-

  Eric: ...just forget what I said.

  Kansas: Okay...well, yeah, just go after the Gingerbread Man.

  Eric: Why am I the one doing it? Aren't you guys policemen?

  Kansas: This is embarrassing for us to say, but we got owned by the Gingerbread Man.

  Eric: LOLWUT?

  Kansas: Seriously, Alastah fell over the cliff and is still some bad conditions.

  Eric: LOL

  Kansas: Okay Eric you win, it's funny.

  Eric: Alright, I'll go only if-

  Kanas: I pay you the reward, right?

  Eric: Right.

  *Eric heads to the Forest of Annoyance*

  *sees frightened children*

  Eric: Erm, hi kids. What are you doing here?

  Children: Oh so scary! Oh so scary!

  Eric: What's so scary?

  Children: *stutters* The Gingerbread Man

  Eric: Okay what happened? What did the Gingerbread Man do?

  Children: *stutters* He terrified us and the cookies...they...they...*crying*

  Eric: Oh brother. *moves on*

  Children: You can't be serious mister! There's no way you can handle him!

  Eric: There is a way, because I am magiciandude.

  *arrives at the Gingerbread Man's house where he is still fussing over what happened*

  *Eric spies carefully*

  Gingerbread Man: Those brats still don't understand the meaning of compensation! I should not have let them leave!

  Eric: *whistles*

  Gingerbread Man: Oh great! Now he is here! What is it Igor Madma-who are you?

  Eric: I don't know, who are you?

  Gingerbread Man: Who am I? You can't be serious. You don't know who I am?

  Eric: Nope.

  Gingerbread Man: Foolish mortal. I am THE Gingerbread Man.

  Eric: *rubs chin* Mm-hmm

  Gingerbread Man: What? You dare doubt my words of honesty?

  
  Eric: Yes, I do dare doubt your words of honesty.

  Gingerbread Man: *is starting to lose it* HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? I LIVE IN A GINGERBREAD HOUSE! I HAVE GINGERBREAD FRIENDS! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK OTHERWISE I AM NOT THE GINGERBREAD MAN?

  Eric: Well, you do sound like a gingerbread man. You think like a gingerbread man. But do you LOOK like a gingerbread man?

  Gingerbread: Yes I do! Do you not see my brown sugar coating?

  Eric: Nope.

  Gingerbread: *growls* Show me that I am not a Gingerbread Man then!

  Eric: *holds out a mirror*

  Gingerbread Man: Um, um, well, er, *in denial* GAH! I AM STILL NOT CONVINCED! GINGERBREAD COOKIES! ATTACK!

  *hunted gingerbread cookies flung at Eric repeatedly* TAKE THOSE WORDS BACK ABOUT ME NOT BEING THE GINGERBREAD MAN!

  Eric: You're not a gingerbread man!

  Gingerbread Man: YES I AM!

  Eric: *dodges* No you're not!

  Gingerbread Man: YES I AM!

  Eric: *gets an idea while dodging* Very well, then you are gingerbread man!

  Gingerbread Man: I knew you would see my way. GINGERBREAD COOKIES HALT! Now then, leave or they will attack with no *notices Eric is up to something* What are you doing?

  Eric: *gets out a glass of milk* Well, since you are a gingerbread man and this is a gingerbread house after all, I decided to have a nice snack.

  Gingerbread: Snack? What snack do you see anything here looks something nice to eat?

  *Eric pulls out a gingerbread man*

  Gingerbread Man: *shocked* What do you think you're doing?

  Eric: I said I'm going to have a snack

  *In the Gingerbread Man's mind, the cookies talk*

  "Mandy": Go on without me!

  Gingerbread Man: No Mandy! I can't leave you behind. You are part of my family!

  Eric: What the-? Well whatever *dips the cookie in the milk*

  Gingerbread Man: NO! STOP IT! STOP IT!

  Eric: Looks rather tasty if you ask me.

  Gingerbread: *shrieks* Okay, okay, I surrender! Just don't hurt Mandy.

  Eric: Good, I'm glad you see it my way. *claps hands*

  Gingerbread: Well what good do you expect out of this? I cannot be arrested , I am a *notices hands* ...ghost? How did you-?

  Eric: Anything is possible for me, for I am magiciandude. Oh and, if you try to escape, your men will be eaten. ALRIGHT KANSAS! I GOT HIM!

  Kansas: No way! Eric you are pure awesomeness! Alright men, take him away!

  Gingerbread Man: This is not the last you'll hear from me!

  Kansas: *takes a deep breath* At least Willy wasn't here to see this.

  Willy: Hey guys! What did I *notices the Gingerbread Man* miss miss miss miss miss...miss. *falls down*

  Kansas: Never mind.

  DELETED SCENE:

  In light of MJ's death, I removed his cameo in order to respect to the poor guy. Here is the deleted scene that I had, takes place with the childen (btw, this written months BEFORE his death):

  Eric: Okay what happened? Did he touch you inappropriately?

  *Michael Jackson comes out of nowhere*

  Michael Jackson: Did somebody say "touching inappropriately"?

  Eric and the children: *annoyed* NO!

  *MJ is disappointed and leaves via moonwalk*

  Eric: I still could never understand how he did that. Anyhow what did the Gingerbread Man do?

  He was supposed to pop out of nowhere to save children from predators, just like in his game.

  • Posted Jul 6, 2009 2:19 pm PT
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• 28Jun 09

  Feedback

  Hello guys, I've posted 8 episodes of Baka-Magician, and I would appreciate some feedback. I would like to see your comments about the series so far. Thanks in advance.

  • Posted Jun 28, 2009 9:03 pm PT
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