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• 17Nov 09

  The Mario Timeline by me.

  Even though I don't think Nintendo has ever indented for the Mario games to have any sort of timeline, I decided to go through all the adventures and attempt to string them together in a coherent timeline though there are still probably some unexplained gaps and to avoid too much confusion, party games, sports games, puzzle games and Smash Bros. are left out. Just assumed these happened between adventures. Also I decided not to include crap like "Mario is Missing" "Mario's Time Machine" and "Hotel Mario."

  However the easiest place to start when deciding how the Mario timeline plays out, let's start with the game that threw off our perception in the first place.

  

  This is where the Mario timeline begins. After all it sort of takes place before Mario was born. As he was being delivered by the stork, the wizard Kamek infiltrated the stork, kidnapped baby Luigi and baby Mario fell down to the Yoshi's Island where the Yoshi's took upon themselves the task of getting Mario back to Luigi and the stork, and getting them back home. The green Yoshi in this game is not the Yoshi we know from Super Mario World. These are in fact Yoshi's parents, grandparents? It never really states but the Yoshi was not born yet. While it's also believed that Kamek was a wizard who worked for Bowser and possessed time travel powers, traveled back to the time when Mario was a baby in order to prevent the brothers from being born, thus eliminating them from thwarting Bowser's fans in the future. We also learn that Bowser was born in Dinosaur Land which makes sense when you think about it. However the Yoshi's defeat Kamek, reunite the baby brothers and get them back home. Of course the ending threw off fans who were convinced that Mario and Luigi were from Brooklyn but the ending has them arriving at a Mushroom House, however don't throw out the Brooklyn idea just yet…..

  

  This one really cements a lot of ideas I had about the timeline. Kamek returned to the present, informed Bowser of his defeat, Bowser then traveled back in time with Kamek to kidnap the babies not only to ensure his future but to steal star power that was given to certain chose babies. This time Kamek sends his minions to kidnap Mario, Luigi, Peach and DK. They later stumble upon Wario. This places the connection between Mario and Wario spoke of in the Super Mario Land 2 manual of Mario knowing Wario from his childhood. But the big connection comes at the end of the game. At the end of the credits, you see Mario, Luigi, Peach, Donkey Kong, Wario and Bowser all receive stars and then the game says "but that's only six stars. There's seven." Then it cuts to a scene of an egg hatching and a green Yoshi pops out. This is the same Yoshi we know today. The one that assisted Mario in Super Mario World and is the staple of the games.

  

  Bowser defeated, along with Kamek returns back to the present. Meanwhile baby Bowser decides to wage war on the Yoshi's by stealing their Happy Tree, their source of life and vitality. Without the tree, the Yoshi's fell into chaos. Only the newly hatched ones were able to defeat Baby Bowser and save their Happy Tree. It's quite possible that he green one in that game was our Yoshi as well. After this I believe Baby Bowser fled the island but this was the fuel for the villainy that was to come. Meanwhile the tales of the Yoshis who helped a young baby named Mario from a villain named Bowser were passed down through generations

  

  I have not played this game so going only by the wikipedia description and what little I know of the title, this is where things get a little confusing. We know that Mario and Luigi traveled back in time to save their baby selves and teamed up with them to defeat the Shroobs. But it's my belief that after their defeat, Mario and Luigi returned their baby selves to their parents then informed their parents that they should take their children away from the kingdom to protect them from further attacks as a precaution and Mario's parents left the Mushroom Kingdom for a safe haven, like Brooklyn maybe? This does fill that that niggling doubt that Mario came to the kingdom from Brooklyn but was helped by Yoshi's as a baby.

  

  This brings us to Mario's first game. Mario grew up, became a carpenter at first. Now this is a little fuzzy for me to. According to the Donkey Kong Country creators, the gorilla Mario fought in the original arcade game is in fact the grandfather of the DK in the DKC series that we know as Cranky Kong. It's possible that Cranky in his younger days accidentally wandered into our world and started wreaking havoc and Mario first realizing the heroism that lied within him in saving his then girlfriend Pauline.

  

  The young monkey in this game is the current Donkey Kong's father who obviously went looking for his father only to find he was captured by Mario. DK Jr. defeats Mario, saves his dad and this is where Donkey Kong's games split into their own continuity with Donkey Kong III and later the DKC series through Jungle Beat.

  

  Deciding that carpentry was too dangerous, Mario along with his brother switched professions to plumbing and while doing maintenance in the sewers came across several monstrous creatures including large turtles. After trying to keep the creatures at bay they followed them down a large sewer pipe and found themselves back in the land of their origins.

  

  Now we are back to where we started. Mario and Luigi find themselves back in the Kingdom in which they were born. Despite being very young when they left this world, a sense of the familiar sets in, they soon learn that the young turtle monster they knew as babies has now grown up and taken over the idyllic kingdom and kidnapped the girl they also knew on their journey. They defeat Bowser and the kingdom is saved once more.

  

  Yeah I know it wasn't really a Mario game. It was Doki Doki Panic but yet this still fits in the timeline. Mainly because as the ending proves, it was all a dream. Many were confused by the appearance of Shyguys in Yoshi's Island however given SMB2 is a dream, then the shy guys were possibly a repressed memory while the Bob-Ombs were a premonition of things to come as Bob-Ombs came into play in SMB3.

  

  Word of Mario's exploits spread fast across the other lands outside the Mushroom Kingdom. Soon a message came from nearby Sarasaland that Princess Daisy, it's ruler had been kidnapped by an alien invader named Tatanga (who no one remembers) so Mario headed out to Sarasaland which was vastly different from the Mushroom Kingdom and upon saving Daisy was given a ride back to the Mushroom Kingdom. (I like to think she's driving that ship at the end).

  

  Mario arrives back in the Mushroom Kingdom only to find that Bowser has returned in full force this time. The Princess who has yet to be captured informs Mario that Bowser has returned with his koopalings who have now traveled in airships across the land stealing wands from the various kings and transforming them. Mario and Luigi set out to explore the outlying kingdoms only to find out this was merely a diversion for Bowser to kidnap the Princess. Mario and Luigi reach Bowser's home kingdom of Darkland only to find an entire armada of weapons such as tanks, airships, battleships and super tanks prepared for a full out invasion of the Mushroom Kingdom. Thankfully the bros. Destroy Bowser's army and Bowser himself and restore peace to all the kingdoms.

  So ends part one of my Mario timeline. As I said before, I highly doubt that like the Zelda timeline there is any sort of way to string Mario together but some have wondered about it so I thought it would be fun try to string them together in a semblemce of order.

  Stay tuned for part 2.

  • Posted Nov 17, 2009 6:45 am PT
  • Category: Editorial
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• 7Nov 09

  Modern Warfare 2 puts the screws to PC gamers.

  This blog is on behalf of my husband. Two years ago, for Valentine's Day I got my husband Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare however because a friend of his at work had it for the PC, I got the PC version so he could play with his friend from work. Soon he joined his friend's group of online players in a team called "Six Feet Under" for years they played games together online when they could use their server. Though until CoD4 they mostly played flight combat games like Crimson Skies. Since I got him Modern Warfare he's played that game more than anything else (though World of Warcraft is a close second). He tried to play a few times with random people online when his team members weren't around but he hated it. People cheat, use cheap tactics, curse, you know the drill.

  And though he was excited about MW2 and I preordered it for him for Christmas, when he heard they were ditching the dedicated servers for a setup like that of the console versions, he was outraged. Why did they do this? Who knows. The previous system worked fine. My husband doesn't want to be forced into random battles with jerks he doesn't know.

  Even worse the price jumped from $50-$60 and it's easy to see where that came from. I'm sure there was pressure from Sony and Microsoft. Think about it Call of Duty 4 was $60 on the 360 and PS3 but you could buy it for the PC for 10 DOLLARS LESS and it ran with the same graphical capabilities and actually had a better online setup and you don't have to pay $50 a year for it. It used to be PC games got ported to consoles but now console games are getting ported to PC with PC gamers losing out.

  Online gaming is flawed, on all systems. Aside from WoW I don't play a lot of games online. I've said before, the reason I don't play SSBB online much is not the lag or the limited options. It's because I get tired of playing 15 matches in a row at Final Destination with no items. It's boring. I don't care where I stand on leaderboards. I have a life. I think we all hate it when no one on our friend list is online and we're forced to play random people the system throws at us. What do we find? Idiotic teenagers swearing and making homophobic racial slurs. I want to play a friendly game and have fun and it's hard to do that online.

  For those who know my writing, I often post links to the blogs of one Sean Malestrom, who writes some incredibly insightful articles regarding gaming more from a business standpoint than a gamer standpoint. You might not agree with everything he says, but it's hard to deny when he makes a good point or at least makesyou think. Anyway I've written a couple emails to him and amazingly enough he responded to one and I was like a teenage girl getting a fan letter from Robert Patterson (aka Edward Cullen from Twilight). Anyway take a read.

  http://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/email-competitive-gaming/

  My husband feels the same way about online gaming. He would like to play online more but doesn't like the way it's set up. With his Modern Warfare team he got to know the guys first, work as a team and then go take on other teams. It worked well and he had fun and now that's being taken away from him.

  Another reader also asked him his thoughts on Modern Warfare 2 ditching it's dedicated PC servers.

  http://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/email-modern-warfare-2-and-the-lack-of-dedicated-servers/

  Anyway as I said, this blog was for my husband. He's as mad as hell about this and for good reason.

  • Posted Nov 7, 2009 6:02 am PT
  • Category: Rant
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• 1Nov 09

  Epic Mickey

  I don't generally like making blogs about an upcoming game because all too often it sounds like every other blog that gushes about an upcoming title but I would be lying if Warren Spector's Upcoming Wii exclusive Epic Mickey wasn't intriguing.

  First of all, it's the first time a Wii exclusive has been on GameInformer's cover since the first Red Steel. Now we all know Nintendo is very secretive about their projects but it's not like third party games like Madworld and The Conduit couldn't have been coverstories and then the journalists bash us for not buying games they themselves barely talked about. It was a bit ironic because in the previous month's issue had a letter from a fan who was a bit annoyed at no Wii games being feature on the cover for nearly 2 years to which the editors did mention that they did do cover stories on multiplatform games (also on the Wii) such as Ghostbusters and Guitar Hero. So I will give them that. Still Epic Mickey on the cover did finally get my attention after month after month of features with same brown, gray garbage dump games and overhyped sequels that land in the bargain bin a month after release. It was nice to have a GI cover story I actually was interested in reading about.

  Mickey Mouse has actually had a rich history in video games. I don't know many Genesis owners who didn't own Castle of Illusion which I still think was one of the Genesis's greatest 2D platform games rivaling Sonic. SNES owners had The Magical Quest where Mickey donned various suits to traverse the land but this was a different time when developers didn't treat games based on cartoon characters as quick cash in shovelware.

  As I read the article Warren talked about how Mickey, over the years was still recognizable as an icon but sort of fell out of the limelight. For years it seemed like the only quality thing coming out of Disney involved the word "Pixar" while the rest was crappy direct to DVD sequels raping our beloved animated cla$$ics and the teen pop garbage known as Hannah Montanna and The Jonas Brothers. I even read where Disney made more on Winnie the Pooh than Mickey Mouse which is kind of sad. Like Pokemon making more money than Mario. Currently in terms of media, Mickey is now CG and on the preschool kids show Mickey Mouse Clubhouse which my nephew loves where Mickey and his friends just participate in a Blue's Clues knockoff with Mickey saying wonderful* catch phrases like "Mooksa-meeska-Mickey Mouse!!!" Later games didn't do much for him either as the shift to more mature games caused developers to take a look at Mickey and see a game with him as nothing more than "something only kids would buy."

  But if there's one thing we can say about Disney is that they seem to be pretty laid back with what can and can't be done with Mickey. I know I'll get yelled at if I don't mention it, but Kingdom Hearts gave Mickey a much more serious role and it works for him. I myself have not played Kingdom Hearts but from what I've seen Mickey makes for a kick ass king and proves how versitle he can be as a character.Watch him lay a beatdown on Scar.I could never see Bugs Bunny doing this.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z83eZy35sV0

  Of course in Kingdom Hearts Mickey still takes a backseat to Sora and Roxas but with Epic Mickey, we get to see him in his solo outing and I have to say, it's fasinating the path their taking. First of all, despite a more dark feel, Mickey isn't pulling a Shadow the Hedgehog and giving himself guns and curse words instead, from what I read, Mickey's estranged older brother Oswald the Lucky Rabbit jealous of Mickey's success has sucked him into a twisted paralell dimension.

  Ok some of you are confused in "Who's Oswald?" or "Mickey's brother?" Quick history. This is Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

  He was actually Walt Disney's creation before Mickey when he worked for Universal Studios and believe it or not, Oswald was the Spongebob of the 1920s and 1930s having a series of popular animated shorts but then the depression hit and Universal wanted to cut back Walt's salary despite the success of Oswald. Disney left Universal and created a new character based off Oswald's design which became Mickey Mouse.

  And that was the idea behind Epic Mickey. Oswald with the help of some evil creatures and a Mad Doctor bring Mickey into a paralell world in hopes that Oswald can trap Mickey and steal his popularity away. Mickey appears to battle through the world by painting the landscape (like Okami maybe) as well as it throws in a moral choice system where Mickey can be the good hearted hero or the mischeivous scrapper. We sometimes forget that back in some of the really old cartoons that Mickey was a bit more mischievous. But more than anything I like the idea of Mickey battling his estranged brother and trying to make peace with him and it's cool that Disney managed to get the rights to Oswald back from Universal.

  I also like that Warren admitted that originallly they considered making this a multiplatform game but Warren Specter realized that porting games to the Wii never works out well and that it's better for it to be designed for the console from the ground up. (Cue whining from 360/PS3 fanboys about how it's not a "real" console and how it will suck if not in HD.) As well as he's happy in the shift of the industry now having to focus more on gameplay than graphics. Kudos to you Mr. Specter. Though at first he turned down the Mickey game idea saying he didn't do "kid games" but once again there's no shame in making a good game that isn't full of gore and swearing. The industry has just forgotten that it shouldn't matter who your demographic is. it's not an excuse to make crap and that a game doesn't needs gallons of blood, boobs and swear words to be good. Anything and I mean anything can make for a good game if in the hands of the right developer. I've played crappy games staring super heroesand macho gun toting super soldiersand I've played great games about a stocky little italian man who hops around on turtles eating mushrooms. And personally I hope Epic Mickey proves that using a cute cartoon character as your protagonist doesn't mean the game has to be dumbed down.

  Though I also just remembered something ironically hilarious. If you watched Gametrailers Top Ten video game developer's video. Warren Specter is mentioned and at the end they mentioned how his company was bought by Disney and joked about a "Mickey Mouse Ninja Action Stealth Game." Well, Mickey's not a ninja but it's still a bit funny that we are getting a dark, somewhat serious Mickey game.

  • Posted Nov 1, 2009 10:32 am PT
  • Category: Games
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