On friday after thinking loooong and hard about what to do the real question I had to ask myself was, "Do I still have any feelings for him whatsoever?" If I could honestly answer "No" then I decided that I wouldn't need space from him which is the big pointer you guys gave me...

So again I went over in my head everything that had happened and I realised I was definitely over it, I felt nothing for him. I re read the apologetic email he sent me and decided that yeah I missed his friendship and who am I to turn away friends (no matter how much of an @ss they've been) I've always been a person who gives, 2nd, 3rd and sometimes even 4 chances to people and I'm a pretty big person. I've not completely forgiven him, but I decided the air needed to be clear face to face and not just via text and email, besides it was a 3 day weekend and I had nothing else to do...

So I text Lee telling him I'd go down under the condition he realises I'm just going down as his friend, not his "shag pal" and he understood and was happy I was coming to see him.

So friday night I dressed up G I Jane stile (i can spell it just won't except the word spelt the right way for some unknown reason) for Vicki's 18th and it was a fab night out! Really enjoyed myself, those of you who are my friend on facebook there are like 4 albums worth of pics up there! And for those who aren't on facebook then I'll post a blog at a later date with a few pics, but I'm currently at work so I don't have access to them

So saturday morning I packed a bag and set off to head for heathrow where Lee lives (literally a 2 min walk from the airport)

When I got there he greeted me with a massive hug and kissed me on the cheek and apologised again then thanked me for coming. He took me to a local pub for dinner where he had just been given a job (he starts on wednesday) and it was a nice place, Lee loves it because it's even closer to the airport and its directly underneath one of the flight paths and loved watching the planes, with just one look he could tell me the model of the plane, what country it's from and all sorts... mostly I just nodded and smiled, but he seemed to be happier he got excited everytime a plane went by bless.

Anyway we went back to his and at the minute he's renting a room in a house which some landlord had bought and every room (except bathroom & kitchen) had been converted into a bedroom and each room had a locking door, he says he's moving in with a few of his course mates in a couple of months and he had to find something quick.

So we watched a few films before going to bed, we shared the double bed but he didn't try anything which I really appreciated, I just turned over and went to sleep and he put his arm around me.

The next morning, we decided to check out the Notting Hill carnival. So we went down there and it took us about an hour of walking around before we actually found the carnival itself amongst the crowds of people, but it was cool we nosied around for a couple of hours and decided to then see what was going off near Buckingham Palace where the Olympic celebrations were taking place, but the nearest tube stations were closed or were made "exit only" so we forgot about it and found somewhere to eat instead and then we found a bowling alley and had a couple of games.

Again went back to Lee's and watched some TV before going to sleep, and when I woke yesterday morning I was awoken by breakfast in bed, he'd made me a sausage and bacon sandwich and a cup of tea, exactly how I liked it, I had no idea he knew how I liked my tea so I was rather surprised.

We spent a lazy day in yesterday watching TV, then the Live report for the GB Olympic team coming back home, it was weird because we were watching the planes fly over Lee's house and 30 seconds later they were on the TV behind the news reporter, it was pretty cool. We waited, kept spotting the planes going over and appearing on the TV and then finally the Gold Tipped nose British Airlines plane flew over head and it was the Olympic plane and then 30 seconds later it was on the TV behind us it was really cool, so then we got in the car and drove down to the airport and stood outside the fence and watched the media circus as the Olympic team got off the plane. It was very cool.

So anyways after that we headed out for a subway and then ate it back at Lee's before I knew it it was 6pm and I thought I should leave because it was a 2 and a half hour drive home and thats only if there were no traffic, getting down there took an extra hour because I was stuck in traffic on the m25 for so long! But I did well, my beloved Daisy Roo got me home in just over 2 hours.

On my way home I picked up my friend Cat, who is my oldest friend (an even older friend then Lauren who I have a 10 year friendship with) I've known Cat since we were 5 and were inseperable until we were about 17, then we kind of drifted apart, she had practically lived at my house but we went to different high schools, for 6th form I had transferred to her school, but I think we felt like we were just living in each others pockets and thats where I met Karl one of my best mates and Cat had all her group of friends there so we just drifted apart, you know how you do... Anyway Vicki had invited Cat out to her 18th and so we caught up and we've promised to stay in touch again and spend more time together, so we got back to mine last night we watched a bit of Point Pleasant and then went for a random little drive and took her to get a mcdonalds, next thing I knew it was nearly 1am so I took her home and went back home to bed.

So thats pretty much my weekend. I cleared the air with Lee, told him exactly what I thought and we'd made friends and friends is all we are, my feelings for him are definitely gone. And now I know that for sure, because when I saw him I felt no different, no pounding heart beat or lustful feelings for him, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off me. And I was reunited with my oldest friend in the world!

So all in all, a good weekend