• 16Sep 09

  This doesn't make any sense, but you're going to read it anyways, just because.

  Situation: I have many thoughts and impressions, but it's not worth it for me to express them.

  Goal: Be grafkhun.

  Result: Universal objective utilitarianism becomes a new religion that is followed by all and everyone starts drinking bottles of pure happiness and making cupcakes for one another.

  You know it's been a weird journey for me the last few months. Not only in my gaming, but other stuff as well. I realized, or rather crystallized my thoughts, and now I am here typing something up for you to read. Anyways, I could make this a long yawn inducing post (maybe the long part is fulfilled, but I don't know about the yawning part), or I could have made it really short and referenced something none of you would understand but may of made you laugh at the insanity of it, but I'm not doing either.

  

  Yves Tanguy's stuff always makes things better.

  I could talk about how the DSi has made me declare that I will not buy another Nintendo handheld again. Or how the PS3 slim is both good and bad; and how I would like one but not right now. Or how Activision is making gamers like me, who a while ago would have bought their games as long as they were fun, not even care anymore and become overly critical. Or how all these Q1 delays are so ironic. Or how I like the multiplayer in F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin, but am a little tired of everyone using the semi-auto rifle on 3-round burst mode. Or how mind confuzzled I was when I heard that Daft Punk was releasing new mixes in DJ Hero. Or how reckless some people are to judge a game that has merit and unique traits; just because they can and it makes them look more open and smart when it actually doesn't. Or how Rock, Paper, Shotguns' new design is really swanky.

  Or how online gaming communities on the PC are so much different than those on consoles. Or how all these indie and art game people are creating their own sect of 'elites'. Or how the gaming community, if you could consider that there even ever was one, is such a bloody mess now. Or how Soul Reaver 1 and 2 really need to be on gog.com. Or how the ending credit song to Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction is awesome. Or how it's kind of weird that digital distribution is not freaking me out so much anymore. Or how I as a gamer want gaming to be like the old days but want it to advance at the same time, further increasing the entropy of this new medium by asking for more retro and more evolution simultaneously. Or how all of this really doesn't matter and gamers should just STFUAJPG (shut the f up and just play games, or dtoid's motto).

  

  More Tanguy, I think his work makes good wall-of-text breaker-uppers, no?

  Or how I'm still a huge Treasure fan and would rather replay Sin & Punishment than play the next Call of Duty, even if you gave it to me for free. Or how I actually don't dislike 'mainstream' games that much, but that I'm really just rather very picky when it comes to them. Or how I genuinely don't think I'm going to get a console from the next generation and I'm going to revert back to playing mainly on the PC. Or how I hate the music game industry. Or how ridiculous some gamers are when they think that the higher the obscurity of a game the more value it has and the more hardcore they are, when in reality the fratboy who plays Madden and the casual World of Warcraft player are just as much as gamers themselves. Or how by that last sentence, I just clarified my current stance on my ever changing definition of what a gamer is. Or how majority of new gamers do not have the experience of older games, nor is there the allure for them to experience them; unlike other mediums where most of those heavily involved will go back and visit the oldies to add to their repertoire.

  Or how gamers are sort-of wrong when they say that developers can't design games well anymore; when it's actually the opposite. Or how even after modding my Xbox 360 controller's d-pad, it still is a terrible d-pad. Or how I started almost every sentence with 'Or how' in this post and got away with it. Or how all the talk about PC and console cross-platform stuff sounds great; but will never work out for many reasons. Or how it feels to get a combo above 50 hits in Noitu Love 2: Devolution. Or how gaming really is no longer a children's medium, and it's just as complex and 'art-y' as any other medium. Or how I didn't know what happened at the VMA's until someone told me, but I was playing Canabalt the moment it came out. Or how I love video games.

  • Posted Sep 16, 2009 6:10 pm PT
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• 17Apr 09

  A translation...

  Since I can't figure out how to embed videos, I'm just going to put a link.

  watch

  You can watch it in HD if you want, but it doesn't really matter. Ok then, so you'll probably notice that you don't understand those little symbols on the bottom. Well, that means you don't know Japanese, plus there are no audible voices although the characters are clearly speaking, so I don't think anyone knows what went down in that conversation. Fortunately, I don't know Japanese either, but that doesn't mean I can't ranslate, no? So, without further knee tapping and thumb twidling, I'll give you my personal translation of the trailer's dialogue.

  Last thing, if you haven't watched the other FF13 versus trailers, do so now. Also my personal take on what has been released so far is that the main guy was part of a squad, or a special forces team. He had close friends and was doing pretty good overall.

  But something happened, he's alone now and the tradegy that occured has something to do with the very organization he worked for beforehand. So he plans an act of terrorism; that's why he's staking out that building where all the troops are surrounding him. That's probably like the city hall or something and he has the building in his hands, he's doing it to make a statement. When he's killing all the soldiers he does it not only with ease, but his face is emotionless and he appears to be sick of everything. Plus at one point he comes out of the building, takes care of a few soldiers, then just goes back in without bothering with the rest. He just came out to remind the soldiers he's in control. His beef is not with the soldiers, but rather with the powers above.

  This trailer takes place after the tragedy and before he takes over the 'city hall'.

  Girl: Hey don't you think this painting is beautiful?
  Boy: Huh? I didn't even notice, my hair was in my eyes.
  Girl: So, do you want to tell me already? Oh come on, stop running away.
  Boy: Look can you just drop it. There are tons of other people in this world, this city, this building, please.
  Girl: And there's only one of you.
  Boy: Things change ok? People's perspectives change.
  Girl: Why does it always come down to change?
  Boy: Chea, because it's always happening, the world doesn't stand still.
  Girl: Of course not. But that doesn't mean our lives have to be totally altered by the world. Do we not keep some of yesterday in ourselves today? Everyday we are different from the person we were yesterday, but we are still overall the same. Even you are still the same, whether you want to accept it or not.
  Boy: Sure, just what are you getting at here...
  Girl: Why I just want to know how you feel, can you not even open up to me?
  Boy: No. Look I'm in no position to be even talking about it, and I have my own agenda now to carry out. I'm done, with everything.
  Girl: What, you can't be serious! Do you really feel that cast away from everything in your life so far... I mean yes it's a terrible ordeal with your group, but that happens, not every squad is perfect. I can't see why you'd throw everything away like this.
  Boy: Well I am - there comes a time for each person to realize that they can only do so much. I'm done, with the force, with protecting this cocoon. Why am I doing it then? Because it turned out the way it turned out. Why though is it so hard?
  Girl: Because deep down you know this is not what you should do, it may be what you want to do, but it's not what you should do. Is not this world beautiful? After all the fighting, why don't we just sit and enjoy it?
  Boy: While untold evils continue on? Join me.
  Girl: There's no way I could.
  Boy: I'd figured you'd say that. But hey, I thought there would be a chance.
  Girl: While I may not join you, I will keep you in my thoughts.
  Boy: Heh, well thank you.
  Girl: I really must go now. Just please remember the beauty of this world. Do not purposely blind yourself to see what you want to see.
  Boy: Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.
  Girl: Anyways, when you do go on this quest, remember me.
  Boy: Don't worry, I will.
  Girl: Just don't get yourself killed, or worse. Also, please don't jeopardize anything or anyone else.
  Boy: Of course, I'm the least of your worries.
  [Girl leaves the scene.]
  Boy: Do you think I can do this? Well of course, it'll be just like training.

  Everything I think about FF13 versus could be totally incorrect. Square's intended premise may be the opposite of what I think and the dialogue may be very different as well. But you see, we know so little about FF13 versus, yet people are anticipating it so greatly. FF13 Agito, at least we have some gameplay. FF13, we'll I'm sure you know all about the live stream of the demo a few day's ago. So what's with all this buzz about versus? We really don't know ANYTHING about it.

  So this blog is my take on everything that's been presented so far, what's yours?

  • Posted Apr 17, 2009 7:27 am PT
  • Category: Editorial
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• 9Apr 09

  Spare a few florins will you?

  You'll be hearing that a lot, in Assassins Creed 2. Florins were the gold coins used as currency in Italy during the 15th century. Anyways, Ubisoft is terribly predictable, so I'm just going to improvise a list of what's going to be in Assassins Creed 2. Obviously I don't know this for sure, but I can speculate. I'm aware of the Game Informer leak, but I made this list before reading it, I swear. The only Assassins Creed 2 exposure I got was the teaser trailer video, and a friend told me it takes place in 15th century Renaissance Italy.

  • There'll be a level on/near an aqueduct, and the Colosseum in Rome.
  • The glide wings will be a lame gimmick.
  • Weapons, old and new, other than the hidden blade and sword with not be very combat efficient. Instead they will be designed for environmental use or used as intended.
  • The ranged weapon will be a small crossbow, as originally designed for the original. There will be blowgun/darts, maybe poisonous.
  • You couldn't swim in the original, but you can in this one. Also there will be aquatic gear. Since de Vinci seems to be so important in this one there'll be a lot of his inventions/designs in it, such as de Vinci's early scuba system which he designed but withheld from revealing.
  • Crowd mechanics will be improved, meaning, it won't feel so artificial.
  • You can pilot an X-wing fighter.
  • and the Batmobile.
  • The AI won't be so stupid, instead Ubisoft will improve this by making them even more aggressive, so stealth will really have to be employed.
  • The horseback riding will be scratched for something else that I can't think about right now.
  • Free-running will be unchanged, since it worked perfectly in the first one, there's no need to change it. Although many Italian Cathedrals still kept Gothic architecture techniques/styles... and climbing one of those would be a nightmare, buildings will still be quite navigable. Expect more tiered arches, domes, and radial apses though.
  • The plot will end similar to the first one, as there will be an Assassins Creed 3. So don't expect the whole timeless Templar conspiracy to be revealed, also Freemasons will be intertwined somehow.
  • You'll have to kill two or three famous artists, hopefully Botticelli and Masaccio. Or some semi-famous artists, depends on when it takes place in the 15th century.
  • The lock-on system will still suck.
  • Flags will return, and those will suck as well.
  • The real world non-Animus-simulation segments will hopefully be reduced to just cutscenes, instead of pointless short playable segments like they were in the original.
  • Lucy Stillman will not appear until the very end of the game, somehow.
  • The final assassination target will be Lorenzo de Medici.
  • Posted Apr 9, 2009 10:58 pm PT
  • Category: Editorial
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