• 17Aug 11

  I got kicked in the family jewels the other day.

  I was standing there, with an ice cream cone in hand, basking in the sun. It was a glorious day. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I see a man lunge at me. I turn just in time to see his foot plant itself firmly in my nether regions. It was very painful, but do you know what I noticed? My God were his shoes good looking! His shoes were as clean as a whistle. I realized this man could go around kicking people in the walnuts all day because eventually everyone would realize how amazing his shoes looked.

  • Posted Aug 17, 2011 1:00 pm GMT
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• 24Apr 11

  The hardest part of any hack...

  is the figuring-out-how-to-start pahse. That's always a tricky one. But... Let the game begin
  
  Allright, what have we got?
  
  A computer. Not a suprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
  
  There is a box part here. Probably got some electronis in there.
  
  And a monitor. Yes. That'll be important, I imagine. I'll keep my eye on that. In case something useful comes up like 'password identified' or something like that.
  
  And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
  
  Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
  
  The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to?
  Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everyhting up.
  
  Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
  
  If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be ehre all night. You know, pens for instance. Lets stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
  
  Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central' control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my cerdentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurtoxin... um.. observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
  
  Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
  
  'Caw! 'Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
  
  Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurtoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
  
  Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the nuerotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriosuly, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, its not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.

  • Posted Apr 24, 2011 11:12 pm GMT
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• 27Nov 09

  tacos and eggs

  tacooooooooooooooooooooooos and eggs.... tacooooooooooooooooooos and eggs... tacos and eggs make food anyday tacos and eggs rape the dinner plate... tacooooooooooooooooooos and eggs

  • Posted Nov 27, 2009 11:04 pm GMT
  • Category: Food
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