• 4Sep 08

  Gossip Girl; Summer Kind of Wonderful

  Hello people. This blog was basically born out of the fact that I wanted to play around in photoshop! Since Gossip Girl season two premiered the other day, in it's wonderful satirical fashion it mocks the society it represents, so I thought I would take a leaf out of their book. Thus here's my spoof recap of the season opener. It looks long, but it's just a lot of screencaps!
  
  First we start off with a long and boring recap... after, Serena walks on the beach looking all model mysterious. However she gets a mouth full of Bass for talking smack about him and his decision to manwhore instead of running off with Blair to France.
  

  
  The fun starts here… (Blair has a new "boyfriend", he's American it seems), but for Chuck it's emo faces all the way.
  

  
  Spotted: Chuck Bass working out how he can strangle Lord Marcus AKA 'James' with his scarf.
  

  
  It's the next day and Blair's raving about Lord Marcus AKA 'James' to Serena, but Chuck isn't buying what she's selling. Serena acting the bimbo is like: 'whaaa? Who's James? Did you get a gigolo?'
  

  
  Chuck's all, 'no Blair. You're a lying liar who lies. Once you go Bass you never go back. Now sit still while I Jedi-mind trick you.'
  

  
  'Hmm?'
  
  Blah Blah Blah, after this we're in Brooklyn again but that's even worse than the boring MILF sex scenes.
  
  Dan's all 'struggling writer guy' and his social-climbing sister (Jenny) is working in a sweatshop, ran by a woman with crazy hair. If you would like to see the woman with crazy hair please click here.
  

  
  

  
  Chuck is checking out Serena's Grandma. He ain't ageist.
  

  

  
  Chuck pulls another emo face.
  
  Ouch. That's a lot blow from Blair, not only did she take her pin back from Natey, she gave it to that dickwod Lord Marcus AKA 'James'.
  
  Chuck runs away crying and now wants to go listen to some Dashboard Confessional. Blair talks him off the edge… and instead tells him she loves, like REALLY REALLY Ken and Barbie loves Lord Marcus AKA 'James'.
  

  

  
  Blair starts crying because she knows that her declaration of love for Lord Marcus AKA 'James' has driven Chuck to go listen to Dashboard Confessional songs… which means he'll be crying during sex from now on.
  

  
  Nate got some serious MILF action in the premiere. Too bad despite the fact that he was half naked in this scene it was STILL totally boring. Although, I think the writers have finally worked out what Nate is good for. Not saying much, half nude. If you would like to see more pictures of Nate 'half nude' please click here. At some point Natey gets almost caught by his MILFs husband, it's all very dramatic and I'm bored. Lala, what's MotherChucker doing?
  
  Chuck bumps into Blair the next day and informs her that her beloved Lord Marcus AKA 'James' is a lying liar who lies; he schools in Princeton not Georgetown… thus ensues an argument.
  

  
  'Georgetown!'
  

  
  'Princeton!'
  
  5 hours later...

  
  'You suck. Yah, you do.'
  
  Nate and Serena are talking about… well I don't know. I wasn't listening, but Nate looked confused, again. If you would like to see more pictures of Nate looking confused please click here and here.
  

  
  The boys are playing croquet. Chuck's a metrosexual, so as usual has an outfit for every occasion. Oh Chuck, you diabolical bastard.
  
  Because he's 'Chuck Bass' (and not ironically) he has a PI on speed-dial; he's also been busy during the summer becoming Yoda to Erics Luke -- teaching him the wonders of blackmail, manipulation, scheming and other general evolness.
  

  
  The White Party: Since Nate didn't get to third with his MILF he's harassing his fake girlfriend, Serena, instead.
  

  
  Whoops. Dan's escaped Brooklyn. He's also bracing himself to be judgmental.
  

  
  In the mean time, while Blair's admiring the paint job in the pool house Lord Marcus AKA 'James', is going on about some s*** no one knows what. At this point I'm bracing myself for Dans inevitable 'you slut!!' to Serena, despite manwhoring himself about town all summer. But alas!
  
  Blair sees Chuck across a crowded room, instead of begging him to strangle Lord Marcus AKA 'James' with his scarf she's all:

  
  Blair says: 'You're so funny!'
  She's actually saying: 'You're so funny! Only, not really. I'm just making Chuck jealous, so shut up and make like you're not gay.'
  

  Cut to Jenny who's suddenly appeared at the white party wearing an eggshell coloured dress, the moron. Then there's some rubbish with her sweatshop dictator telling her to get out because she's 'oh so common and poor'. Something else happens as well, I'm not caring.
  
  In other news Lord Marcus AKA 'James' finally realises Blair is evol. But then he tells her he's also been dishonest. Lord Marcus AKA 'James' is secretly BRITISH! OMG! WTF! He's also called 'Lord Marcus' not 'James'. His secret plan is to hook up with Eric, but he's kind of old and would get arrested… so that won't happen anytime soon. Chuck in the background has had the call from his PI that LORD MARCUS IS BRITISH!!!! Chuck's all WTF? 'I AM THE ONLY BRITISH PERSON HERE!' But it's too late Blair already knows, he can't use this information against Lord Marcus.
  
  Blair tells Lord Marcus WHO IS BRITISH: 'You keep talking in that accent and I'll think of something'.
  
  No Blair, he really should not keep talking in that accent, it's offensive to British people. Lord Marcus sounds like someone doing a poor impression of Hugh Grant... on some kind of narcotic.
  
  After this, we get to see karma bite Dan on the behind whilst Serena pulls this face -- 'that's for calling me a slut you judgemental SOB'. If you would like to see Dan get two drinks thrown over him you'll have to watch the episode because I don't have the bloody clip.
  
  After more random crap, Blair makes up with Lord Marcus, he's British don't ya know, also she appears to find inbreeding royalty attractive. As she stands thinking about how she can redecorate Windsor castle, Chuck turns up as he's now listened to enough Dashboard Confessional to sufficently talk about his feelings.

  

  

  
  I could easily make some tasteless attempt at a joke here, but no. It's too awesome a scene to be flippent about. The acting, direction, writing was all perfect.
  
  Chuck: Please don't leave with him.
  Blair: Why? Give me a reason... and "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count.
  Chuck: 'Cause you don't want to.
  Blair: That's not enough.
  Chuck: 'Cause I don't want you to.
  Blair: That's not enough.
  Chuck: What else is there?
  Blair: The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters. Say it... and I'm yours.
  Chuck: I... I ... [pause]
  Blair: Thank you. That's all I needed to hear.
  
  In all seriousness it was an ok episode, although I think having it in the Hampton's took away from the usual 'vibe' and atmosphere of the show. Looking forward to the next week though. What did you think of the episode?
  • Posted Sep 4, 2008 2:04 am PT
  • Category: TV
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• 31May 08

  Happy Birthday to Me!

  Yes, it's my birthday tommorow (Sunday)! I'm turning 21 and you know what that means... that I can do basically everything I could before. Turning 18 was more fun. But the rabble are all returning from their universities to share in the joy, yay! And in the summer it's roadtrip time.
  
  Now to the real point of this blog.
  
  Lost Finale (Spoilers)
  Desmond makes us 'aww', Benry continues to be evil and inscrutable, Kate distracts us with more Kate!faces and Jack exhibits new levels of dickery. Why it must be a Lost season finale!
  
  Ok, I was rather underwhelmed by the Lost finale this year, although they would've had to have done something completely amazing to top season threes fantastic season ender.
  
  
  
  I was surprised Locke was in the coffin... and now I'm completely confused.
  
  
  
  
  The highlight of the episode for me was Penny and Des reuniting. I think Lost has successfully made me cry every god damn episode this season!
  
  I didn't like that they actually killed Jin off... I'm also wondering if this was really the end of Micheal. Questions questions questions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I also liked Sawyer proving he's a hero, especially more than Jackarse, one who will continue to kick arse and take names. Sawyer jumping out of the helicopter to save everyone else was awesome, I'm happy the direction his character is taking -- it's looking less and less likely that he'll end up dying in the end.
  
  
  
  What happened to my beloved Daniel!? I don't think they showed us whether he and the others were moved with the island or blown to kingdom come with the boaties.
  
  
  
  Poor Jules. She always get jipped, and now she thinks Jack is dead. I hope she gets off CrapHole Island soon.

  
  
  He's evol.
  
  
  
  Benry attempting to move CrapHole Island, oh Ben you magnificent bastard! Seriously Micheal Emerson needs to win an Emmy.
  
  
  
  
  
  I love Daniel and Charlotte. They're goodbye was quite sad. I read somewhere that some people think Charlotte is Annie. Not too sure about that one.

  • Posted May 31, 2008 4:33 pm PT
  • Category: TV
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• 6May 08

  Rin Tin Tin!

  Yeah I'm incredibly bored so I thought I would spread the boredom by blogging. I've haven't written a blog in literally a year so here I am!
  
  I've actually spent the entire day procrastinating... I have my final set of exams next week for my last year of university -- my first exam is next monday and it's on the English Civil Wars. I'm having trouble concentrating on revision, but I'll get my head down tommorow. In the mean time I nicked this from my BFFs myspace.

  What is your name?
  Rebecca!
  
  What is your middle name?
  Hannah, you can spell it the same way backwards or forwards. It's crazy that way.
  
  How old are you?
  20
  
  Where are you from?
  Hertfordshire, England. Pride and Prejudice county, oh yeah.
  
  What is your racial heritage?
  My mum is English and my dad was born and bred in Iran until he moved here in the 1980's to study. I'm half English and Iranian, I'm also somewhat Welsh. The British side of my Granddads family are Welsh farmers. Basically I am a bloody mongrel! My dad + my mum makes me 100% complete country bumpkin.
  
  What do you do?
  Student bum gathering debt. I'm studying History at university because I'm awesome like that.
  
  Do you know your star sign?
  Yes, I'm that crazy contradicting mess of a personality known as a Gemini.
  
  What colour is your hair?
  Very long and medium brown. In the past it has been every colour of the rainbow... not really.
  
  What colour are you eyes?
  Blue!
  
  How tall are you?
  5'2. Shut up.
  
  Do you have freckles?
  No. I'm just white as a sheet. Typical English person.
  
  What is your favourite colour?
  Deep red. I don't know.
  
  What is your favourite animal?
  I'm a cat person because dogs are evil and they stink up the joint.
  
  What is your favourite TV show?
  Lost, and Gossip Girl at the moment.
  
  Which Fictional charcater are you most like?
  Lois Lane, we're noth abrasive b*tches. In a good way.
  
  What are you favourite films?
  The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption and Donnie Darko -- all of which (if anyone has not seen them) people should go watch right now! GOOOO!
  
  What is your favourite type of music?
  Rock n' Roll and Indie. I like pop 70's and 80's music too. Favourite bands include: Plain White T's, Paramore, Thrice, Panic! At the Disco, The Killers, Yellowcard, The Eagles, Green Day (the old stuff), Ok Go and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
  
  What was the first music festival you went to?
  Never been to any festivals, but my first gig was going to see Angels and Airwaves. Tom DeLonge oh yes! Too bad it wasn't Blink 182.
  
  What is your favourite subject?
  Hmm, I absolutely adore academic History but I'm not as good at it as I am philosophy. I have a philosophical mind and I'm pretty sure I'm a theologian at heart. Hopefully I'll go back to university someday to study what I should have done all along.
  
  Are you addicted to anything?
  Benefit makeup. And cleaning, books as well.
  
  What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
  I can not go into that here!
  
  Have you ever been drunk?
  Of course I have. It's rare for me nowadays though, mainly because I think it's a stupid thing to do.
  
  Have you ever dyed your hair pink or purple?
  No. But when I was 18 I dyed my hair black and then bleached strands of it blonde, I think it was my way of attempting non-conformity. Although after my hair colour changed a great many times thereafter, I decided to go back to my au natural shade. I'm back to my genetic colouring now.
  
  What colour is your room?
  Pale teal (pastel greeny-blue) and white. It's pretty!
  
  Do you speak any other languages?
  No, I speak a little Farsi though. I learned it while I was in Iran, I can call someone a 'fat cow' or an 'ugly person'. I can also exchange pleasantries.
  
  Do you keep a journal?
  Sporadically.
  
  Do you like tortoises?
  Why not?
  
  Is the sky blue?
  No, actually.
  
  Daffodils are yellow.
  Well observed Sherlock.
  
  Which evil dictator would win in a fight? Stalin or Hilter?
  Oh man, Stalin FTW!
  
  Tell me an interesting fact about you?
  Uhh, I have hay fever? I also burn in the sun because I'm so damn pale.
  
  Have you ever had stitches?
  Several times. I split my head open when I was 4 and I have the biggest f***ing scar ever in my hairline, luckily my fringe covers the bastard and it's invisible. I also had stitches on my lip because I was bitten by a dog when I was 9. Lol.
  
  Describe yourself in one word.
  Fickle.

  • Posted May 6, 2008 1:59 pm PT
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