Last night I finally got around to watching their conference. Now I understand the fan boy furor, because Nintendo took a big dump in their avowed loyalist's video game corn flakes. Looks like the third straight generation where system owners sit and wait for marquis franchise titles while biding their time with licensed, kiddie movie shlock and stipped-down ports -- actually not EVEN, now, with graphics half a generation behind the competition -- of the stuff seen in it's full online glory elsewhere. Yeah, yeah... Kid Icarus, Star Fox, another Mario and Zelda are going to be rolling out again at some point... But then again, so is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and like Nintendo's A-list line up, he comes around about as often and probably ain't showing up in the next two years either. Anyway, I've always prided myself on being a master of the obvious, so here goes:

Thought #1: DS is Nintendo's #1 system and, as I've stated before, the #1 current system in all of video gamedom. Period. Wii is #2. DS is the home of the hardcore and lovers of sudoku . Wii is the home of everyone else. With kids.

Thought #2: All this interactivity is great, but if what Reggie was saying about challenging one's self after conquering and expanding the market is true, I've got their next goal lined up: Could you make me look like less of a total dinkus while playing games like Wii Band? I've already got shame issues out the yin-yang and if THAT'S what I'm gonna look like having YOUR brand of fun, you're not selling me on the concept.

Thought #3: I'll end up with a Wii, anyway, because my video-game hating wife got one at work (she's in adolescent psych) and it's all she talks about. Plus she loves Animal Crossing. So be it, but I'm getting daddy a PS3 so I can play REAL games... That is, once I'm done with Metroid.

To be frank, it was better than Sony's and rather than the "Blah Blah we're great Blah Blah this is where we've been this is where we're going Blah!", Microsoft wasted no time and got straight to, you know, the important stuff: Actual games and exclusives. Wheeling out development heads and execs early and often to show their "big gun" titles, one right after another, is in my opinion, WAAAAY better than the unavoidable market share blather that should be shoe-horned in much, much later than what Sony did. Rather than be told what I want and what percentage of me wants it, Microsoft decided to cram games, not sketchy peripherals or multi-media functionality, down the throats of attendees and viewers, like yours truly. Novel approach. It got my attention.

Thought #1: It was refreshing to see a developer actually KNOW HOW TO PLAY THEIR OWN FREAKING GAME!! In this case it was the Gears of War guy who's name escapes me at the moment. Blezinski (sp?)... Cliff Blezinski, That's it! Tell me this guy isn't playing his own game 24/7... Geeez... Anyway, I had a little stick time with the first Gears and I wouldn't say I'm a fan of the series, but the demo looked great -- WAY better than Resistance 2 and Killzone 2-- and the fact that he could play showed just how frantic and fluid this game really is. Bigger, badder, new bad guys, better graphics and more varied locales are what sequels are all about and this one appears to deliver.

Thought #2: It's amazing to me how Peter Molyneaux doesn't seem to be full of [bull doody] when he addresses us directly, but somehow, in the end, it will be clear that he was. I guess that particular skill he has is why I drive to work in a Hyundai and he drives in a B. M. W.

Thought #3: I'm in! I'm buying 360!!! Except I won't be. Yet. I mean, I would, but when eight out of the ten friends I know who have them have sent them back... Well, let's just say my consumer confidence index ain't that high. And on the principle front, the guy who decided save 57 cents per unit by buying El Cheapo GPU's (or whatever that problem is) probably made more money in his contract buyout (if he was even fired) than I'm going to make over the next ten years. Besides, I'm a cheap skate. $199 is rumored to be on the schedule and I can wait until then.

Games I WILL have no choice but to get upon release:

RE 5

Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising

Far Cry 2

MGS 4

Fallout 3 intrigues me, but I'm not sure I'll be there on day one. I'll let somebody else be a Guinea pig on this one.

Let's get right to it:

PSP: I've always loved this sexy little hand-held and I actually owned one for about 48 hours*, once. For some reason, it remains the red-headed step child of Sony's console family.

Thought #1 : Does providing 70% of the experience that other dedicated machines deliver, but putting them all in one place and at your fingertips -- anywhere, anytime -- make it a jack-of-all-trades, or is it a machine that does no single thing particularly well? Does Sony even know?

Thought #2 : If you're fed up with the slow trickle of new games -- particularly "triple A" titles -- and rumored releases that never seem to materialize (Devil May Cry and any Final Fantasy redux come to mind), the cavalry ain't comin'.

Thought #3 : The Dreamcast had decent shooters with one analogue stick! WTF, Sony?!! Is it really that hard?

PS3: It's the superior machine and Sony ain't lying when they talk about ten year cycles. I'd own one right now, buuuut... You pay a premium for the console. You pay a premium for the games, new or used. Still worth it in the long run, though.

Thought #1 : See what I said about the PSP @ thought #1. Yeah, it can do 95% to 100% of everything it tries to be, but who's going to use it as their total multi-media hub? I think we're a console generation away from moving the PC out of the den and into the living room. And when I do get one I'll be damned if my wife's gonna interrupt a Killzone session for a Sex and the City marathon!

Thought #2 : Does any of the above matter if it plays games real good? Which it does... Although it has fewer than the 360. And they look the same. And they lost FF XIII as an exclusive, which stings both Sony and it's diehard fans. And Resistance 2 didn't blow me away like I hoped it would. But it does play God of War, so yay! I'll own one when...

Thought #3 : ...They release the $399 80gig model, or drop the price on the 40GB version to move 'em out. Which I doubt. Also, because they removed the "emotion engine" tech from the system to drop costs, they went to BC emulation on the 80GB unit with, to be generous, mixed results. Looks like the newest system is acknowledgement of the failure and Sony's total abandonment of backwards compatibility all-together.

XBOX 360 : No big whoop. Just quit making them go Hiroshima all over the place and maybe I'll by one.

No real thoughts on the 360 @ E3, yet, love the price drop, though. It might make me get one. Well, that and the fact that everybody I know owns one. Only two of my friends own PS3's. Pity.

Wii: Nintendo generally [ticks] me off on principle. I guess that's my problem, not theirs, because I have seen precisely 4 Wii's in the wild since their release two(ish) years ago. It's just that I have a thing about control freaks is all...

No thoughts yet. I still need to check out their news conference (I'm sure Reggie Fils-Aime is going on and on (and on) about all the ass-kicking he's been doing). We'll see.

DS: This is the greatest platform of the current generation. Yeah. That's right. I said it.

Thought #1 : "Wanted: Reviewers for Nintendo DS games. Do to current, constant flood of new titles, writers are needed to relieve current staff reviewers' current deadline obligations. Warm bodies preferred, although not necessary. Writing skills optional."

Now for some damned fool's opinions! Hot and fraish from my [you-know-what] to you!

-Resident Evil 5 LOOKS awesome! Although, animations looked like RE4 rehashes.

-Fall Out 3 looked choppy and didn't really impress. Dang! Cuz I'm a Washingtonian and really want to get this one!

-Little Big Planet looks like a Sony cornerstone and will be great. There WILL be world-wide competitions for level designs and you'd better buy it early if you want to be part of the scene.

-Resistance 2 looked eerliy similar to the widely panned "WWII in NYC" game that came out earlier this year. If forget it's name.

-I love Kratos and would give him a foot rub if he asked me.

-Everything looks prettier... But it just appears to be more of the same from past generations. Scan. Shoot. Grenade. Jump. Etc. All the same, just more pixels.

*literally.

Well, 40'ish. I forget when I started level 20. I vaguely remember it being colder than it is now. Like your parents said to you before, when you were breezing through your teens (or as they might being saying now, if you are in your teens), it ain't gonna get any easier! Beware the level 20 grind! It's the mid-life crisis of Gamespot.

First of all, they are elitist. Second of all, you don't nitpick Kojima's greatness because you have an axe to grind over Konami's secretive stance about their biggest release in the last (and next) tens years. Thirdly, their reviewer is a scarf-accessorizing girlie-man, wearing fake little Boyz 2 Men glasses and likes to have his "poster boy for metro-sexuality" photograph taken in front of cherry blossoms because he THINKS he's some kind of erudite scholar who's above giving a game deserving a 10 a 10. ANY REVIEWER WHO DOESN'T GIVE MGS4 A 10 IS A "TRYING TO BE ABOVE IT ALL, FEIGNING ARTISTIC INTEGRITY BY GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN, MAD THAT ANYBODY (PARTICULARLY KOJIMA) COULD BE MORE SPECIAL/TALENTED THAN THEY ARE, WINE AND CHEESE PARTY ATTENDING, BED-WETTING NINNY"! This guy has the "put a couple wine spritzers in me before making that certain proposition so that when I go through with it, I can blame it on being drunk" kinda look about him. If you live in or near any urban setting, you've seen the type and you know what I mean.

Y'know, Gamespot has taken it's lumps of late, but... 1up, I've served with Gamespot, I know Gamespot, Gamespot is a friend of mine, 1up, you're no Gamespot. And we don't need no know-nuthin' hoity toits reviewing our beloved Metal Gear games if they can't get it right. I haven't played it and it's a 10. When I do play it, I'm gonna bronze my copy when I'm done! Nuf said.

Edit: GamerJM brought up the suggestion that I link the review and the reviewer's blog at 1up. I'll figure that out later, so simply click on over to 1up and judge for yourself. I think you'll agree with how on the money I am in my take that being hassled by the corporate dinks and lawyers at Konami cost the final score AND that he'd have given it an 8.5 (B+ ?)* if he wasn't afraid of the avalanche of death threats he would have gotten for doing so. Assuming an A-* is 90%, the point deduction was retribution for perceived poor treatment and the author's general disdain for having to sign an NDA. I'm fairly sure every other print publication managed to publish a review by deadline while keeping their sacred journalistic integrity intact, if not entirely maintaining EGM/1up's "vaunted" standard. Anyway, it'll make it two or three clicks to read, instead of one... Don't strain your index finger.

*lame attempt to set themselves apart from other gaming publications.

I've always been a Raiden apologist. A fan, even, one might say. I love his platinum surfer do. I love (and relate to) him being beleaguered by his girlfriend. I love that he puts up with her while trying to save the world. I love that he's clearly in over his head from the beginning. I love that he pays for his 'tude -- when he forgets himself and it dares to make so much as a peep -- in humbling, instant karma. I love that, no matter what, he's always interested in doing his best. And I love that, aside from that whole cyborg-ninja-warbaby-trained-from-chilhood-to-be-a-stealthy-lethal-secret-agent-killer thing, he reminds me of me. Unlike most folks, however, I don't hate him for what he isn't. The haters and doubters could go on and on about where he lacks and why he sucks, but in the end, we all know that what he ain't boils down to just. two. words.

Hideo Kojima is another guy in the Raiden corner. He thought Raiden was going to be a hit; that people were just going to love their new 'Gen-X'ified stealth action buddy and I think Kojima had big plans for his newest main man in every game going forward. Snake, after all, was already starring in his fourth installment of the series and ever the sucker for a good twist, Kojima thought he'd give the whole thing a shot in the arm. A face lift. A rad new character that everyone would be talking about. He turned out to be more right than he'd ever imagined.

Now, even though he displays that trademark Japanese humility, Hideo has an ego. I think the backlash towards his new million dollar baby, both in the press and on the street, surprised him and well, frankly, pissed him off. I mean, if you think about it, he really hasn't let it go. We all know about the clever "Metal Gear Raiden" piece with the whole "Time Paradox" element where Raiden is brunt of the joke and he played to the haters' heart strings with not-so-vague homoerotic interactions between Raikov and Volgin. About two, or so, years ago when asked in an interview about Raiden's role in Metal Gear's future, Hideo responded (in effect), "Raiden?! In another Metal Gear game? People have made it clear they hate him and I wouldn't dare make them play as something they didn't want!"... And that's when it hit me... He was being coy. Between the lines, Kojima was really saying: "Fine! Hate my character, you ingrates! I bust my hump to craft these masterpieces! I'm going to make Raiden the mother of all video game badasses! Guys like Master Chief and Kratos are going to come out in his stool! He's going to be THE STAR of this series and you're GOING TO BEG ME TO LET YOU SMELL MY RAIDEN-CREATING FINGERS once you see what I do with him!!! And guess what else? You ain't gonna! You hurt my feelings! Sit and spin, troglodytes! He's off-limits until further notice!"... Or something like that. You get my point. I know that's a lot to gleen from one quote, but then again, Kojima is an odd cat who wields a ton of power in this medium. He's important. He's big money. He's the godfather of the cinematic experience in gaming. He says a lot when he says a little. When I heard that the impossibly deft katana wielding cyber-ninja tangling with Vamp was going to be unplayable, I smiled... "Kojima-san, you magnificent bastard"...

Going forward? Call it one damned fool's opinion, but after Snake's last stand in MGS4, Raiden takes over as Metal Gear's leading man. I know Hideo, after years of saying "this is it" for Metal Gear, has "clarified" his stance and said this is Snake's last entry... Not the last entry! *Tsk!* Translators can be sooo unreliable! Also, when asked which platform intrigues him the most, he replied bluntly "Nintendo Wii.", so going waaay out on a total limb, here, you'll be swinging cyber-blondie's katana on the Wii. That is unless Sony ponies up the interactive tech (and the money) to get Kojima's attention away from the #1 console of this generation.