• 18Aug 08

  Things That Annoy me.....

  
  
  >>>When your standing waiting for a bus and some one asks ''Has the bus come yet?''. Yes it came but i decided not to get on it and stand here all day....If the bus came would i be standing here, eegit..
  
  >>>People who are willing to get off their a$$ to search the entire
  room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
  channel manually.
  
  >>>When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
  too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?especially if its your own like!
  
  >>>When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
  is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
  do this? Who and where are they??
  
  >>>When people say while watching a film "did you see that?"
  No freak,I paid a tenner to come to the cinema and stare at the
  floor.
  
  >>>People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a
  choice there, didya sunshine?
  
  
  >>>When people say "life is short". W.t.f?? Life is the
  longest damn thing anyone ever does!!Tell me, What
  can you do that's
  longer?
  
  >>>When people point at their wrist when asking the time. I know where my watch is pal, where's yours? do i point at my a$$ when i need 2know where da toilet is?
  
  >>>People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
  So what did they used to be? ears, wellington boots??
  
  >>>When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
  it's disgusting - I always eat stuff I hate.
  
  >>>People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks a million...that's an image I really didn't need..
  
  >>>McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you
  insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a
  McChicken Burger, if u just say a Chicken Burger u get blank looks...Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McPrick, did u understand dat, did ya???
  
  >>>When you come in and its after lashing outta the heavens, your shivering with the cold and soakin wet, and someone says ''was it raining?''
  ''No i jus felt like drowing myself with a bucket of water before i walked in2 the room to pretend to ye that it was raining'' u daft eegit...
  
  >>>when you lose somthing and someone says ''Where did ya lose it?''...if i knew where I lost it, id have found it by now, ...
  • Posted Aug 18, 2008 9:05 am PT
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• 2Jul 08

  40 things you may not know....

  1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.
  
  2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had.
  
  3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself .
  
  4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

  5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle".
  
  6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
  
  7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
  
  8. A duck's quack doesn't echo ... no one knows why.
  
  9. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
  
  10 Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene of a crime!).
  
  11. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
  
  12. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.
  
  13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
  
  14. During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.
  
  15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
  
  16. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.
  
  17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
  
  18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).
  
  19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants!
  
  20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
  
  21. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
  
  22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
  
  23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
  
  24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
  
  25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before!
  
  26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!
  
  27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
  
  28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
  
  29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
  
  30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  
  31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
  
  32. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
  
  33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in '87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first ****
  
  34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
  
  35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!
  
  36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
  
  37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
  
  38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
  
  39. Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator game.
  
  40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them.
  

  • Posted Jul 2, 2008 6:43 pm PT
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• 18Jun 08

  How to make women happy!!!

  Just a few little tips on how to make a woman happy...

  
  It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
  1. a friend
  2. a companion
  3. a lover
  4. a brother
  5. a father
  6. a master
  7. a chef
  8. an electrician
  9. a carpenter
  10. a plumber
  11. a mechanic
  12. a decorator
  13. a stylist
  14. a sexologist
  15. a gynecologist
  16. a psychologist
  17. a pest exterminator
  18. a psychiatrist
  19. a healer
  20. a good listener
  21. an organizer
  22. a good father
  23. very clean
  24. sympathetic
  25. athletic
  26. warm
  27. attentive
  28. gallant
  29. intelligent
  30. funny
  31. creative
  32. tender
  33. strong
  ! 34. understanding
  35. tolerant
  36. prudent
  37. ambitious
  38. capable
  39. courageous
  40. determined
  41. true
  42. dependable
  43. passionate
  44. compassionate
  
  WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
  
  45. give her compliments regularly
  46. love shopping
  47. be honest
  48. be very rich
  49. not stress her out
  50. not look at other girls
  
  AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
  
  51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself.
  
  52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself.
  
  53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where
  she goes
  
  IT I S VERY IMPORTANT:
  
  54. Never to forget:
  * birthdays
  * anniversaries
  * arrangements she makes
  
  HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
  
  1. Show up naked
  2. Bring food

  • Posted Jun 18, 2008 8:32 am PT
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