• 2Mar 06

  Its the truth...

  A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
  • Posted Mar 2, 2006 1:26 pm PT
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• 25Feb 06

  My State, Pennsylvania

  >>> Jeff Foxworthy's commentary on Pennsylvania:
  >>>
  >>>
  >>> If you consider it a sport to sit in a tree stand all day long with a
  >>> bow or a gun just to put food in your freezer.. you might live in
  >>> Pennsylvania
  >>>
  >>> If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96
  >>> nights each year because Bradford is the coldest spot in the nation, you
  >>> might live in Pennsylvania
  >>>
  >>> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
  >>> you might live in Pennsylvania.
  >>>
  >>> If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of
  >>> the year, you might live in Pennsylvania .
  >>>
  >>> If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
  >>> there, you might live in Pennsylvania cause you're all so damn friendly.
  >>>
  >>> If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
  >>> his forehead, cause he wears a hardhat you might live in Pennsylvania.
  >>>
  >>> If you have worn shorts, sunglasses and a parka at the same time,
  >>> you might live in Pennsylvania.
  >>>
  >>> If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, or if you
  >>> are in church and your priest or minister asks you to pray for the
  >>> STEELERS, and wants to get you all home for 1 p.m. kiickoff, you might
  >>> live in Pennsylvania.
  >>>
  >>> If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
  >>> a wrong number, you might live in Pennsylvania.
  >>>
  >>> YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian WHEN:
  >>>
  >>> 1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.
  >>> 2. You measure distance in hours.
  >>> 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
  >>> 4. You often switch from "heat"to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
  >>> 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
  >>> blizzard,without flinching.
  >>> 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
  >>> weddings).
  >>> 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave all
  >>> the doors unlocked.
  >>> 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows
  >>> how to use them.
  >>> 9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  >>> 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
  >>> filled with snow.
  >>> 11. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and
  >>> road construction.
  >>> 12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
  >>> 13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a
  >>> deer next to your blue spruce.
  >>> 14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
  >>> 15. Down South to you means MORGANTOWN W.V
  >>> 16. A critter is something you eat.
  >>> 17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW FORD F150
  >>> 18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.and bingo every Wednesday.
  >>> 19. YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS DUE TO FROST.
  >>> 20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
  >>> 21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
  >>> 22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
  >>> all ourPennsylvania friends.
  • Posted Feb 25, 2006 8:55 pm PT
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