Forgive me, Father, for I am about to rant about something totally stupid and pointless that won't change just because I have a problem with it. But I'll do it anyway, because I'm bored. What can I say? I'm a writer, not a Saint.

Those of you who have followed my blog and forum posts over the past year know that I frown upon spelling and grammar errors. They bother me like nothing else. Like anything, there's a reason for that.

See, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I was diagnosed when I was 7, and I'm still taking medication for it to this day. I've learned to use it to my advantage, and I don't view it as a disability but rather an opportunity. Still, it can cause the stupidest of things to bug me.

Orthography (correct spelling and grammar) is one example of this, and the one I wish to discuss today. Whenever I come across a passage with frequent spelling and/or grammar errors, I literally cannot concentrate unless I block those errors out somehow. One little typo I can excuse, but not when the passage is riddled with them. At that point I just stop reading.

What bother me the most are not the errors themselves, but rather the people who don't seem to care enough to fix them when I point them out. The ones that really get to me are the people who act like I've made a personal attack against them even though I was considerate enough to PM them about it rather than calling them out on the forums.

While various rulers over the years have implemented various forms of government, the one group that has always existed despite the efforts of countless teachers and education systems is the Idiocracy. Those people who refuse to learn the basic skills needed to function as intelligent members of society. They are not necessarily stupid, just ignorant. Though in many cases the latter can lead to instances of the former.

I've always found it highly ironic that the people who need to be reading these things are always the ones who don't. That's why my throwing a fit over human stupidity won't make people any smarter. But it will make me feel better, if only for a few moments.

To close, I'd like to address several common errors that I come across practically every day, as well as some fun facts that not many people know. With any luck, this will be an educational experience to a few of you. I encourage you to spread these wherever you go online.

1. "Loose" versus "Lose." This is an example of a typo so common that it's practically replaced the correct spelling of the word. They are both words, but the former is used in place of the latter so often I want to pull my hair out when I see it. The key to telling the difference between them is the sound of the "s" in each. "Loose" has a traditional "s" sound, while the one in "lose" sounds more like a "z."

I think the confusion may stem from the similarity of the two words to "choose" and "chose." The endings are practically the same, but they follow different rules. "Choose" and "chose" are the present and past tense versions of the same verb, whereas "loose" and "lose" have two completely different meanings.

2. "Definitely" versus "Definately." Another example of an all-too-common typo that's slowly overtaking the correct word. The confusion is probably the result of people pronouncing it "def-i-nuht-lee" instead of "def-i-nit-lee," and mistaking the "uh" sound for an "a," rather than an "i."

3. "Compliment" versus "Complement." The former means words of encouragement, while the latter refers to two things that go well together. I see the first one used in place of the second way too often.

4. "Okay" versus "OK" versus "ok." One of these is incorrect. Can you tell me which one? If you said anything but, "The last one," you're wrong. It's okay to shorten OK to two letters as long as you capitalize both of them.

5. "Blond" versus "Blonde." Both of these are correct. However, the former is used in reference to males, while the latter refers to females. To use two characters from the show Kim Possible as an example, Ron is blond and Tara is blonde. This is one of those lesser known quirks of the English language, and something that bothers me every time I see it used incorrectly.

6. "Whoa" versus "Woah." While the first term is the correct one, the second is the one I see most often, even in professional works. It's also one of the most annoying.

7. "Insure" versus "Ensure." The former means to cover one's losses, while the latter means to make sure of something. Not very many people know the second one exists.

And finally, a fun little tidbit that has practically nothing to do with what I talked about today:

8. Contrary to popular belief, the plural of "moose" actually is "meese." If you look it up, though, about eighty percent of the places you go to will tell you that the plural of "moose" is still "moose." This is because it's another case of where the error is so common that it's almost completely replaced the correct word.

I hope you all learned something today.

beeftony

Does the title intrigue you? Do you want to know more?

*Mr. Burns voice* Eeeexcellent.

Okay, so this bout of randomness requires some explanation. The LVNP was created by Lextenou, who used to frequent Slash Haven but seems to have disappeared. It basically combines four of the most awesome things in the world into a single entity.

The image in my banner can be found here in the DeviantArt gallery of the amazing Sapphicspencil, who has done several other pieces along these lines. The girl on the far left is a background character that she has made into her own original character. Her fanon name is Alex Saffic (named for her creator), aka "the background lesbian." Shego is a vampire because of her pale skin, Yori is a ninja in canon, and Kim is seen in the outfit she wore for "Cap'n Drakken" (which was worth seeing just for that).

I hope you all learned something. No, seriously, there's a test.

Have a pleasant day/night/evening/whatever.

beeftony

So I've been away for quite a while. I've posted occasionally on the KP boards, but that's about it. I got caught up in other pursuits, and while I checked this site every so often, I lost that passion that got me to my current position.

My job takes up all the time that my schoolwork doesn't, so I hardly have time to check this site. However, I'm taking next semester off, so I'll have plenty of time to be online and visit sites like this (though my main home will continue to be KP Slash Haven).

I've started contributing again, so hopefully you'll see me around more often. I have no plans of becoming an editor again, though, since I don't see much point. That may change in the future, but for now, I'm content to just look on and contribute where I can.

Oh, and thanks for 10,000 profile hits! I feel awesome!

beeftony

I decided that since I seem to be this site's resident KiGo shipper, my banner should reflect this. I actually didn't make it. That would be heart over at Slash Haven (thank you ). Hope you all enjoy.

About the text on the banner: note the sarcasm....

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition
is something up with which I will not put.

-Sir Winston Churchill

--

1. Proofread. As the quote above demonstrates, I'm a bit of a grammar nazi
(I'm OCD; I can't help it). It's no excuse if your word processor doesn't have spellcheck. Run a google search and find a program that does. Get a beta-reader. The point is make some effort to make your work readable.

2. Listen to negative reviews. In fact, treasure them. They tell you what you need to work on and can help make you a better writer if you're willing to listen. Constructive criticism is infinitely more helpful than blind praise. Be glad the reviewer took time out of their busy schedule just to help you improve your writing. One of my best works was inspired by a well-rounded critique.

3. When writing songfics, don't write around the lyrics. When I first started writing these, I would cut-n-paste the lyrics and add paragraphs in between. This is very difficult to do, and many of my early works suffer for it. Contrary to visual entertainment, it's actually easier to add in song after-the-fact. If at all possible, wait several chapters before implementing the song. Get your own ideas out there first. This will make it seem like the song was added to fit the story, not the other way around.

4. Don't write for the reviews. Be interested in what others have to say, but don't let popular demand determine what you write. Every writer ultimately writes for him/herself. It's always the stories on which we want feedback that we don't get it (I'm still waiting for somebody to review Separate Ways. Come on, people). Just write whatever your heart desires.

5. Don't be afraid to deviate from your original plan. Writing to me is like a bow and arrow. Any archer will tell you that trying to form an invisible line between the arrow and the target will result in you missing 100 percent of the time due to the nature of binocular vision. It's best to keep your eyes on the target, and let the arrow shoot itself. The same principle is at work in writing. Have an end in mind, but be flexible in terms of how you get there. Let the story write itself. It is often during the process of writing that we have our best ideas. Who knows, you may even wind up changing your ending.

6. Don't use cursing to use cursing. Have a reason for including controversial material. A majority of my fics are rated M, but I find that adult subject matter is often the most revealing. Still, whenever I include mature content, it is a conscious story-based and character-based decision to do so, and a responsibility no writer should take lightly. If it serves the story, put it in. If it doesn't, leave it out. It's that simple.

7. Use language to your advantage. Diction (word choice) and syntax (sentence structure) are your friends. As Mark Twain once said, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." Choose your words carefully. Also, employ syntax to full effect. A common effect I use is a bunch of short, choppy sentences to mirror the feeling that each event is happening one by one. When you want a dreamlike atmosphere, use extra long sentences. Atmosphere is one of the greatest tools available to the writer. Use it well.

8. Psychoanalyze. Get inside the characters' heads. It's a good idea to adopt a behavioral approach when writing scenes, as this will make it easier to determine how they might act in a given situation. A Freudian approach is useful for flashbacks, while cognitive theory is best suited for dialogue. Know each character inside and out. Taking a psychology class can be of tremendous help to a writer.

9. Always give credit where credit is due. Every writer has their own style of
disclaimer, but as long as you say who owns/ patented/ copyrighted/ sang
what, you should be fine. And don't worry about using actual names. MrDrP likes to riff, but that's his thing and I know for a fact that I'm no good at it (read Operation Rock Star if you want to know why). As long as you do them justice (or include them in a clever joke), it's fair use.

10. Wait a few hours before posting your story. This gives you time to work
out any potential errors in your work. I find that I notice blatant flaws when I post some of my work, only to notice another right after I correct it and repost. Spend an afternoon reading and rereading your story, going over every minute detail until you are certain that you have ironed out all the creases. Then post your story.

11. Don't be afraid to scrap a project and start over from scratch. Regardless of how well (or ill) received it is, if it doesn't feel right in your mind, start over. I'm considering doing this with several of my fics.

12. Don't worry about failed ideas. We all have them. I pulled down one of my stories for good after realizing that it just plain sucked, and I'm considering doing it again. It happens. Just focus on what you're doing right, and keep doing it. At the very least, these experiences provide us with knowledge of what not to do next time.

13. Find your writing style. Everybody has that unique edge; something that differentiates them from other authors. Mine is my overwhelming use of songfics. Make a name for yourself rather than just copying other authors. You will never be able to do their style as good as they do simply because you are not them. It's okay to be inspired, but get your own ideas out there.

14. When in doubt, free-write. Not everything needs a clear cut outline. Just sit down, take a deep breath, concentrate on the idea in your mind, and start typing. A lot of my fics that seem to have an interwoven plot actually ended up that way on accident. I very often have no idea where I'm going with any given story.

15. Above all, remember George Orwell's 6 rules of writing:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where
you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English
equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Responses Belong on the Forums

Really, people, they do. Do you want to know how I became editor? I marked over 200 notes, trivia, and allusion blurbs because they responded to other
comments and made the whole thing into a discussion. This is not acceptable, as confirmed by missribs. I will not accept anything that responds to an earlier comment. If you believe it is incorrect, mark it for deletion or correct it. Do not respond to it, or your submission will be rejected. No exceptions.

Personal Opinions Belong on the Forums

One of the first rules of essay-writing is never to say "I think." Just say it. The same principle is at work here. Trivia, notes, allusions, etc. are supposed to be fact-based, and if a submission is personal opinion, I will either edit it so it is not or reject it altogether.

Trivia Must Be Fact-Based

This means no speculation. If you're not 100 percent sure of something, don't submit it. I will reject any submission that uses the words "may," "maybe," "might," etc. Be absolutely certain that the information you are submitting is accurate before you submit it.