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  • Video_Game_King
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  • Last online: 05/29/09 11:33 am PT
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Title Score
Silent Hill 9.0
Prince of Persia 8.5
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts 7.5
Ninja Gaiden II 8.5
Paladin's Quest 3.5
Mother 3 7.0
Final Fantasy IX 9.0
Cyborg Justice 1.5
Metal Gear Solid 8.0
Final Fantasy X 8.5
17Feb 08

So....Brawl is coming out in 3 weeks....

(And I am totally prepared.) Yep....totally prepared....GIMME BRAWL, DAMNIT! I NEED IT!!!! GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!!! OK, that's enough of that. Now I'm sure you may have seen this guy before, but I don't hang out on Youtube all the time (not even for speedruns that give me ideas). So what do we have today? Tetris...on the....oh my, this can't be right. Says here I beat it on the NES. What am I reading this off of? Why, this of course. *does research* Oh, I beat the Tengen version. Waflerevolution should be listening by now . Now then, you all know what the hell Tetris is like, so I'll keep it brief. The music reminds me of the 80's, and for some reason, the Commodore 64. Listen to it and try not to imagine 80's stuff. The look....its fairly Russian. But that's what makes it so awesome. See? Brief. Not even an award, because I've given the game so many awards before.

Now what else do we have? Oooh, a rare one. Spanky's Quest. Made by the guys behind Harvest Moon, you play as a monkey and...po....hold on, Spanky's Quest? Monkey? Must resist masturbation jokes, must resist masturbation jokes.....OK, I think I can resist. Now then, this game is really...average. There's nothing special to it, and not much to say about it. As I said, you play a monkey, who must bounce balls to pop fruits that hold keys that open doors....OK, this game seems to have a strong sexual innuendo theme to it. Bouncing balls, Spanky the Monkey, popping fruit (I've heard it before), why didn't the have a level where you bounce a melon? Oh my god, I just realized that there WAS a bouncing melon in the game. Enough sexual innuendo, I need to talk about the game. The graphics are really, really, average. They probably could've been done on the Genesis or PC-Engine with a bit of downgrading. And the SNES was known for its superb music and sound chip, right? Then why the hell does the whole game sound like this? You watching the video now? That's essentially the entire game. And its not that hard. The whole thing is just way too easy. Peeing is not this easy. That is why I give this game the If You Want to be Challenged, Go Urinate Award. Now then, what shall I do this time? Gohan's Quest or St. Patrick Cuts Open Bibles? Spin the wheel! *watches you spin wheel* Looks like you won a trip to Hell! That's right, you get to go to Hell! And that comes with an all-expenses paid trip to F*ck Yourself, so after you go to Hell, you can go F*ck Yourself . But before all of that, let's see what St. Patrick is gonna do...

St Patrick wrote:
So, where's the Valley of Doom?

St Valentine wrote:
How the hell should I know?

St Patrick wrote:
Didn't you say you knew where to go?

St Valentine wrote:
You trust a guy with a golden claw and a gun?

Random Henchman wrote:
Well, you're not gonna get there!

St Patrick wrote:
Umm....we never said anything about that.

Henchman wrote:
Really? Crap, I spent all day writing that line for this moment!

St Valentine wrote:
You assumed that we'd have this elaborate conversation that you could intrude on?

Henchman wrote:
I think I came too early. Anyway, I'm killing you right here, in the name of Golvellius!

St Valentine wrote:
Like hell you are! *shoots henchman, kills him* Now then, ti-*guns blows up, blows off Vincent's hand* Ugh....I'm dying....

St Patrick wrote:
No, you can't die!

St Valentine wrote:
Well...I am....tell people to celebrate....this day....with cheap....gift cards....and chalk...hear....

Yep, all of this happened, and I haven't even gotten into the game parody yet!

  • Posted Feb 17, 2008 10:06 am PT
  • Category: Games
  • 14 Comments

14 Comments

  • TristanH12

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 11:38 am PT

    When you get a chance you should try to listen to the two Tetris versions of the songs in Brawl, they are quite interesting. Tetris Type A and Tetris Type B, lol (some vocals are included as well). St Patrick and St. Veltntine most interesting.

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 11:40 am PT

    I'll get the chance when I get the game. And you know how I'm preparing like hell for the game.

  • Soulreavercross Site moderator

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 2:00 pm PT

    I'll make a prediction for Brawl when the game is close to release.

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 2:50 pm PT

    I predict AAA. If not, prepare for me to swear like crazy (I have to play an AVGN game if it isn't).

  • gohantech00

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 3:19 pm PT

    It's inevitable that Brawl is going to get great reviews all around. I mean, look at all of the content of the game, as well as the gigantic vortex of hype surrounding the game. It's almost like Melee, which got fantastic acclaim itself, only with about 10x the content, including more new characters with less clones (from what I've seen, there's only been a few clones). How can you possibly go wrong with that? And why do you keep playing Tetris over and over again, even if it may be on a different platform? Don't you ever get tired of that?

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 3:22 pm PT

    How can you get tired of Tetris? I space out games, which inevitably means that I won't notice if a game in a series is just a clone of the previous. And Brawl is going to be awesome. It already got a perfect 40 from Famitsu, who's stricter than Simon Cowell (if he was given the misanthropy of a cynic exposed to the same crowd of dipsh*ts that flocked to Meet the Spartans).

  • mitu123

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 4:16 pm PT

    I'm getting Brawl on day one hopefully.

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 4:28 pm PT

    I'm getting it on day one knowingly. Preparing for it all, even if fate seems to not want this game in my hands.

  • gohantech00

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 7:05 pm PT

    You're not going to camp in front of the store selling it, are you? Or are you smarter than that ?

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 7:08 pm PT

    I'm smarter than that. I've pre-ordered it. Besides, you only do that for consoles, and I did wait in line for my Wii at 6 in the morning. You remember my blog on that, right?

  • gohantech00

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 8:45 pm PT

    People go hog wild for games as well. Crazy, but true. Don't know if you've seen this or not, but check out this article:
    http://kotaku.com/350965/super-smash-bros-brawl-line-madness
    I hope nothing like that happens in the U.S.. And I remember slightly your blog about waiting in line. It wasn't cold when you waited, was it?

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 17, 2008 9:07 pm PT

    Yea, it kinda was. But I distracted myself with Meteos, meticulously wiping the Dunkin' Donuts donut residue off my hands to play Meteos, arguing the plural form of the word Wii, and drinking a lemon chug (which sounds like I'm drinking something sexual) .

  • RPG-er

    Posted Feb 18, 2008 9:05 am PT

    i was going to buy the imported version, but i don't have a wii.

  • Video_Game_King

    Posted Feb 18, 2008 9:37 am PT

    I wonder how the hell that went in your head...

    RPG-er wrote:
    Hey, I should get Brawl! But its in Japan. I know, I'll import it! *clicks something* Wait...I don't have a Wii....f*ck it .

My Recent Ratings

Title Score
Silent Hill 9.0
Prince of Persia 8.5
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts 7.5
Ninja Gaiden II 8.5
Paladin's Quest 3.5
Mother 3 7.0
Final Fantasy IX 9.0
Cyborg Justice 1.5
Metal Gear Solid 8.0
Final Fantasy X 8.5
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