• 10Sep 09

  Rock Band: The Beatles impressions

  Most fun guitar song:
  "Drive My Car"

  Least fun guitar song:
  "I Want You; She's so Heavy"

  Coolest-sounding guitar:
  "Helter Skelter"

  Best vocal performance:
  Ringo Starr on "With a Little Help from My Friends"

  Best overall vocal performance:
  George Harrison

  Worst vocal performace:
  Paul McCartney on "I've Got a Feeling"

  Best George Harrison vocal performance:
  "I Me Mine"
  
  Best Ringo Starr vocal performance:
  "With a Little Help from My Friends"
  
  Best Paul McCartney vocal performance:
  "Can't Buy Me Love"
  
  Best John Lennon vocal performance:
  "Eight Days a Week"

  Best dreamscape:
  "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/With a Little Help from My Friends"

  Worst dreamscape:
  "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

  SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARD:
  Most distubring moment:
  John Lennon F*CKING STARING AT ME WHILE ON HELIUM during "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

  • Posted Sep 10, 2009 2:33 pm PT
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• 8Aug 09

  Grand Theft Auto rant amazing

  I played through San Andreas again recently. This is, what, the twentieth time? Nah, more than that. Anyway, after playing through San Andreas again, I decided to pop in the GTA IV disc. Boy, that game has not aged well.

  Yes, a game that game out in 2004 has aged gracefully, and a game that came out last year by the same developer in the same series has not. Why? Let me break it down:

  GTA IV was amazing the first time I played through it, I'm not going to lie. After I beat it, I felt no urge to replay it. San Andreas was amazing the first time I played it, too. After I beat it, I immediately wanted to replay it. In the time that I've had GTA IV, I've beaten it once, and gotten part-way though it once. Also in that time, I've beaten San Andreas twice, and gotten part-way though it twice. Oh, and I'd had San Andreas for three-and-a-half years before that.

  With GTA IV, Rockstar North just tried too hard. The graphics are amazing, and the interaction between the characters is great. But Niko moves way too slowly, and when he gets in a car, he can't drive at all. Maybe it's just me, but these aren't realistic driving physics. Barely tapping the gas shouldn't make you spin out uncontrollably. Luckily, you can just hop in a taxi and go wherever.

  With San Andreas, Rockstar North did an amazing job. The graphics are very good, and I prefer them to GTA IV's, because they're not as dark and dreary. The characters are generally better (okay, San Andreas doesn't have Brucie, but, no matter how awesome he is, he's only one character), and you grow to loathe the people who have betrayed you, unlike GTA IV, where you're just like "wat". CJ moves at a perfect pace, and handles everything except stairs like a human being. The driving physics are fun; you actively want to drive around. Sure, you have to drive everywhere, but who cares?

  In GTA IV, Rockstar North got rid of the RPG elements of San Andreas. Dude, I loved those. When CJ got full muscle, I felt a sensation of pride. I don't care if it's a sin; my fingers hurt, but I did it. Now to work on stamina! Then maybe my MP5 skill, so I can move whilist shooting! In GTA IV, you have none of that. I hope you like how Niko handles; he's not going to get any better!

  Also, I'd rather have Denise or Millie calling me saying I haven't been paying attention to them every few hours than Roman wanting to go BOWLING, play POOL or DARTS, or even SEE BIG AMERICAN BOOBS! Boobs are great, don't get me wrong, but I can live without pixelated ones.

  All in all, San Andreas is a much better game. It chose fun over realism, something all games should do. After all, isn't that why we play videogames?

  • Posted Aug 8, 2009 9:13 am PT
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• 3Aug 09

  I'm back

  Well, kind of. I plan to post in Teh Lair for a while, IF PEOPLE POST IN IT , but I have no plans to post anywhere else because I don't want to, yeah

  But, hey! More inciteful blags will come your way in the mean time!

  tl;dr: I will be posting blags that will mean nothing and may or may not actually be funny.

  i just pooed in my pants

  • Posted Aug 3, 2009 8:50 am PT
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