• 2Jun 08

  And so passes another year..................

  But this time I don't feel like celebrating. Its been a really tough year, just one tragedy after another. Since my last post things have gotten worse.

  First off my grandfather, Thomas Kenna, passed away. He was aged 87 when he died. About a week after he got his timetable he had more tests done and the doctors revised his time from 6 to 12 months to 6 to 8 weeks, but he just went down hill from there. Until May 20th, around 00:30 my brother came into my room and told me "Get dressed we have to go down to nans house. The doctor said that he has hours to go." Still he held out till all his children and most of his grandchildren had said goodbye. And on the morning of the 22nd he just slipped away peacefully. Its a hard thing to loose someone you care about in such a way but to see my grandfather lying in that bed barely able to breath, semi-conscious, unable to react or talk or do anything for himself. That sight was a million times harder than seeing him in a coffin. When I was told he was gone I was relieved. He wasn't suffering anymore. He is at peace now.

  But now my worry has shifted to my Grandmother. She never left his side not once, not ever. My Mother, My father, my brother and sister, My aunts, uncles and cousins we were all heart broken but my Nan. Her heart has been shattered, a peace of her soul torn out sometimes when I go down to see her now she asks "What am I going to do without him?" I don't know how to answer her. I can't think of words to comfort her. I've never felt a loss on that scale, so I can't imagine how truly devastated she must be. In all honesty, I'm worried that before this year is through, we'll be burying her along with her husband and son.

  To make matters worse my uncle Joe had a checkup to see how well he was recovering from his bypass. Not good I'm afraid, the doctors said that a few cancer cells were missed when they removed his stomach. So now he has to have kemo and radiation therapy. We havn't told my Nana about this yet. Joe is her rock, since he was young he was always there to comfort her when my grandfather wasn't able. The thought of loosing them both so soon could literally kill her. The remarkable thing is Joe is very upbeat about all this. I was in his house today, picking up a bunch of DVDs, when I noticed a book on the kitchen table. He told me it was a medical book all about cancer. he wanted to find out as much as possible about his illness and the treatments available. He was going at it like he was back in the army. Sun Tsu once wrote "If you know your enemy and know yourself you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles" The officer in him is treating this a an enemy to be fought and he's on a mission to find out everything he can about it.

  To top every thing off this year my computer has decided to give up on me. I know not even a drop of water in the ocean that is this years heartache, but you have to admire the timing. One dead grandparent, two sick uncles (one of whom is a drunk and won't listen to doctors, enough said) a cousin with a destroyed relationship (which I won't go into for privacy reasons), I loose my job due to economic slowdown and just then one week after I get my marching orders from Briscoes, my computer craps out on me. Thankfully I can get brief moments of stability like now, but who knows how long this will last. Hell I'm just going to upgrade. I already have half of the money I need for a new comp and (fingers crossed I'll get the other half tomorrow, but I ain't holding my breath).

  Anyway enough of my ramblings I need to get some sleep or maybe I'll watch a DVD I don't know. Life is all about choices.

  • Posted Jun 2, 2008 6:00 pm PT
  • 3 Comments
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 2May 08

  In the eye of the hurricane, and its getting smaller

  Sometimes life runs smoothly other times it shoots you down. at this point in time I'm firmly in the latter. If ever an atheist needed confirmation of his believes this is such a time.

  Let me start from the top. About six weeks ago, my grandfather got very ill and dispite visits to the doctor he kept getting worse. Needless to say the entire family was worried, especially my mother who has been looking after both my grandparents almost single handedly. Over the next few weeks the doctor finaly arranged a hospital appointment for him to find out what was wrong. Unfortunatly with the healthcare system we have here in Ireland he had to wait till two weeks ago to get a bed. Anyway long story short we finaly got confirmation of what we all feared, he has cancer in 90% of his liver and its moving into his lungs. Acording to the doctors there's nothing that can be done about that level of cancer. They have given him between 6 & 12 months to live. But the thing that gets me is the doctors said that he's has this for months, that that kind of invasion takes a long time to take control of that much liver. So my Granda has been in pain for months and told nobody. I always knew he was a prowd man but I had no idea that he could go through that in silence. But I suppose if you havn't been in hospital since 1956 you tend to think you can withstand anything.

  Meanwhile while all this was happening my uncle Joe, with all the stress of everything going on with my granda, developed a stomach ulser. Simple enough procedure to fix it but when the doctors did the endoscope they found something, something that looked a lot like stomach cancer. so as a precaution they had to perform a gastric bypass. (for those who don't know what that is, I'll put it simply for you. THE DOCTORS REMOVED MOST OF MY UNCLES STOMACH. See simple). Needless to say this shook my family like you wouldn't believe. Two family members with potentially life threatning illnesses. That a level of stress you can't imagine. So my uncle had the operation things are looking good he'll be home on sunday. But with the bypass he won't be able to eat large meal, go out drinking with his ex army buddies and he's probably going to loose about 50% of his body weight over the next six months. My aunt, who is normally a very positive person, has been half expecting to get a phone call to say he's dead. But he's going to be fine.

  With all this happening my mother is one tragedy and she's going off the deep end into a nervus braekdown. I've already had to console her during crying fits atleast six times this week, and I've been in work for atleast five of those days.

  Speaking of work, You've probably heard about the downturn in the economy. Well that hit home today, I got "Let go" from my job today, the same day I find out that my grandfather has less than a year to live. Business has been pretty slow in the shop I work in, so slow infact that they couldn't sustain the personell numbers they had. SO one person had to be let go from Their store in Drogheda and one from their store in Ashbourne (where I worked). The decission was basicly a case of last in first out, so I was let go. In all fairness I don't blame them, everywhere businesses are letting people go. Also the manager, who I have become good friends with tried everything he could to keep me on but there was nothing he could do. I could see it in his eyes that he hated telling me that they had to let me go. When everyone else heard about it they were devestated, especially Natalie, she'll be fine.

  I'll probably get moderated for this but, if you live in Dublin, Louth, Meath or West Meath and your looking for anything electrical buy it from Micheal Briscoe ElectriX in Drogheda or Ashbourne. They have been good to me and despite the fact that I live so far from the store I'll still be buying all my electrical goods from them. Business is slow and they need all the help they can get. They are my friends and I don't want to see anymore of them loose their jobs. I care about them like I care about my own family

  I suppose the silver lining in all this is I'll get to spend more time with my grand father before................you know.

  • Posted May 2, 2008 10:24 am PT
  • Category: Other
  • 0 Comments
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 30Oct 07

  Work is hard

  I recently started a new job and, apart from the minor difficulties of getting used to the new place, its been bloody tiring.

  Its a nice place called Michael Briscoe ElectriX and everyone including the owner are super cool. The downside is I was brought on just before the new shop opened, so I had to help out with getting the place ready for the grand opening. As of last Tuesday (23/10/07) the shop still didn't have power, the ESB took their sweet time hooking up the juice. Also the place looked like some one set off a couple of tons of C4 in the back.

  But thankfully after a week of hard graft, late nights and swore feet the shop is opened and the place is making money. although it almost puts me off opening my own shop one day. Almost

  • Posted Oct 30, 2007 4:07 pm PT
  • Category: Other
  • 1 Comment
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg

See Previous Blog Posts »