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My Friends

1Dec 07

Unsurprisingly, the GameSpot staff has been doing a lot of talking over the past 72 hours--with each other, with friends, with family--and there has definitely been a lot to be said, a lot to be sorted. I'm not going to burden you with the bulk of it here, because a lot of it is private and a lot of it you've probably heard already, but mostly I've grown weary of typing out the same conversation with different people. I will tell you some things that I haven't had a chance to get down in writing yet. Now seems as good a time as any.

Jeff Gerstmann has been a significant figure in both my personal and professional life for a long, long time. I first met him around 1997 though an odd confluence of technology, music, and personal determination. He was in a bizarre local rap-ska band that, at 17, I found utterly fascinating, and he seemed funny as hell. By my recollection, we were fairly fast friends, though I was also kind of pushy about it. As an aside, this was also how I first met review editor Alex Navarro, though at the time he was a twitchy little drummer who, for the first few years that I knew him, was never seen without his black knit cap.

Our ridiculous, protracted rap project the Suburban All-Stars was one of the more prominent early fruits of my friendship with Jeff. We arguably spent more time making each other laugh really, really hard than we did making music, though Jeff mastered the walking-and-chewing-gum dynamic and did both at once with his following music project, Midnight Brown, whose catalog stands as both some of my favorite music ever written, as well as one of the most well-produced series of inside jokes ever. I always admired Jeff's capacity for cutting wit and really imaginative vulgarity, and being around him makes you want to be funnier and more vulgar.

My friendship with Jeff was one of the main reasons I got a part-time job with GameSpot in the spring of 2000, handling support email remotely throughout the week while toiling idly at a local JC. I was only in the office one day a week, and while catching glimpses of what it took to write about games for a living, I knew I wanted to be there all the time. Jeff has literally been there ever since, if not as my direct supervisor, than as a close co-worker and a continued friend. It's been almost 8 years since I started working at GameSpot, and Jeff was there for nearly all of my fondest and most memorable experiences on the job. He's covered my ass through rough patches and helped me become a writer I never thought I'd be, or even wanted to be. Simply put, I would not be in the video game business at all were it not for Jeff Gerstmann, and I am loathe to imagine what I might be doing with my life right now without the focus I've earned from having this ridiculous job. Long after the considerable novelty of "I write about games for a living!" wore off, it was my continued professional interaction with Jeff that has kept this job fun.

But now, Jeff's gone, and I'm not afraid to say that it absolutely breaks my heart. I felt the departure of Rich Gallup from the site earlier this year in my bones, but this goes deeper. Jeff was a rare constant, and this marks the end of an era for both GameSpot and myself, a fact that doesn't seem to be getting any less upsetting for me. Still, one thing about a situation like this is that it encourages you to break out lots of trite sentiment and soft, obvious analogies--things that embarrassingly manage to resonate sincerely when one is in crisis--and there is one chestnut I've used on more than one occassion over the past 72 hours that I would like to share:

The ball is still in motion. This isn't the end for Jeff Gerstmann, this isn't the end for GameSpot, and this isn't the end for me.

drop the mic.

172 Comments

  • CamisadoBlue

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:37 am PT

    Well Said Ryan, it's a horrible shame to see him go (and especially in the way that it 'appears' to have happened) but the ball will keep rolling.

    I'm just curious as to were he will pop up next ;P

  • mjcowley Site moderator

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:38 am PT

    Thanks for sharing Ryan - hang in there

  • heydawg321

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:39 am PT

    While I'm sure we all appreciate this Ryan, it's just too bad we can't hear more from Jeff. Although, we probably know what he thinks about this too

  • gbrading Site moderator

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:42 am PT

    Put with both emotion and sensibility Ryan. Many thanks for letting us all know your thoughts, and how much his friendship meant.

  • DezmoTk

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:49 am PT

    I was waiting for your post. I also can't wait to see what comes of this and what Jeff will do. I have high hopes for you guys that you will pull through!

  • golbala

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:50 am PT

    i don't even know what to say, beautiful ryan seriously beautiful

  • axes03

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:53 am PT

    this ISNT the end of gamespot? hmmm........

  • markB0SS

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:53 am PT

    Nice to hear 'the ball is still in motion'.

  • dannyodwyer

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:56 am PT

    I have no doubt in my mind that individuals like you and Jeff Gerstmann, (not to mention Alex, Kevin, Ryan, and Justin to mention a few) are the sole reason that Gamespot is a hit. There are hundreds of games websites out there with all the news, previews and screenshots you could possibly need.

    But Gamespot has a special ingredient, that keeps users like me pressing F5 all day. Its not advertising or shiny graphics. Its the individuals who garner our respect and adoration through entertaining & informative reviews and media. You can see the waves this has made in the user base already. We come here for you guys.

  • litafan4ever

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 6:57 am PT

    i think you found the perfect picture for Jeff..it seems to rap (pun intended) everything great about him into one. i'll miss him, but i won't give up on Gamespot just yet..i'm still trying to find the silver lining to this horrible storm.

  • DouglasBuffone

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:01 am PT

    I am so sorry especially to you Ryan. The friendship was very obvious through all of the episodes of the Hotspot, On the Spot, and all those hilarious features videos (especially the E3 swag, hilarious).

    I too am going through a bit of a shock like everyone else. Most of my friends that I have become very close to over the past four years are leaving the site or have left. I am very unhappy about it, but I am not going to leave

    This whole situation has made me realize that I want to be a gaming journalist. I was always on the edge for several reason, mostly financial ones, but I have finally realized that you have to do something that you love. It was not my parents, my friends, or my teachers that brought me to this conclusion, but you guys at Gamespot. I am sitting right now in my Georgetown University dorm room, surrounded by my games, my rough drafts of reviews, and new friends who support my dream.

    I know many people say this, but I hope to work at least for a summer or a couple years after college. And I hope that you, will be a person that fosters growth for me, but more importantly in every other editor at Gamespot.

    Jeff's shoes will not be filled completely, but I believe that you are more than capable of revitalizing this place. After all, you were mentored by the best.

    Good luck, you and the staff are in my thoughts and prayers,
    Doug

  • fishdalf

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:04 am PT

    Wow very powerful and very heartfelt, i've been on the verge of tears and anger all day, this whole thing is absolutely crazy.

  • SuperMooseman

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:04 am PT

    Touching.
    And that picture? God damn hilarious.
    (edit reference the -1 comment: I think the picture is hilarious due to the 'lads mag' in the drummer's stand-thing)

  • Thorpe89 Site moderator

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:07 am PT

    Jeff's a very funny guy. He seems a very decent guy too helping you out at the roughest of times and being a longtime friend. It's a shame that another staff member from GameSpot is not going to be apart of one of my favourite sites.

  • nintendorocks

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:08 am PT

    Very heartfelt, Ryan. And you're right. This isn't the end. As long as there is people like you, this site will never end.

  • 4ngelus

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:10 am PT

    Nice to read a personal story. These are sad times.

  • uncledeath2005

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:12 am PT

    An excellent blog...I just can't understand all this...

  • solidgamer

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:16 am PT

    that was very moving ryan good blog on the terrible events

  • cakeorrdeath

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:18 am PT

    "this isn't the end for GameSpot"

    I really do hope so.

  • Adam_B

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:19 am PT

    I took a friend to the GameSpot Holiday party a few years ago when it was at Fluid SF. She couldn't remember many people's names, but she coined a nickname for you and Jeff: The Red Bull guys. The guys who kept slamming Red Bull Vodkas.

    Near the end of the night when people were starting to hit the deck, Jeff was there ordering a Jager shot for everyone left standing.

    This one's for you, Jeff.

  • bungie091

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:23 am PT

    Amazingly put, JEFF LIVES!

  • mgsninja

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:25 am PT

    Let the ball roll.

  • lebanese_boy

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:33 am PT

    Yes life continues Mr. Davis and we all really feel for you guys but the people must learn the thruth! There have been many crazy things that have been done in the last hours and most of them are beyond our imagination.

    But Justice must be done in this case and so far it hasn't, Jeff's supporters will not rest until Justice is done and netiher will I and neither should you. But we support you guys though your struggles because as long as you're all here, Gamespot is far from dead but without Jeff, it took a huge hit in the nuts.

  • ZimpanX

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:34 am PT

    very touching Ryan and I really, really hope that this isn't the end of GS as you said

  • GunnyHath

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:38 am PT


    Danny is absolutely right, you guys are the heart and soul of this site, and the reason it's so popular.

  • psycho_chan13

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:43 am PT

    This is a sad thing I know Ryan and thanks for sharing your feelings, It broke my heart to hear Rich Gallup was leaving but Jeff Gerstmann, I always thought he would be there forever to me, He was a dedicated worker to Gamespot and now they have lost 1 of their best employees, I didn't really come here for the games I always came here for the Gamespot Staff cause they always put a smile on my face, with their great sense of hummor, and awsome personality, Hopefully that will still happen atleast they still have Ryan Davis and Alex Navarro. The ball will still be in motion, but it just wont be the same without our loving friend Jeff Gerstmann

  • snake670670670

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:45 am PT

    I'm sure its not the end of Jeff or gamespot, but its the end of an era...

    On a side note. Holy sh*t man. That was some unbelievable writing.

  • SaMuRaI_Slice

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:49 am PT

    I don't know how much money you guys make but I think it'd be cool if you started your own reviewing website with the old gang. Jeff, Ryan, Alex, Brad, and whoever else thinks this whole thing is ridiculous. But if you don't have that money, you can always start selling hand grenades...

  • edubuccaneer Site moderator

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:52 am PT

    We might be feeling terrible now, but as you said, Ryan, life still goes on. Jeff will be fine, and we should all do the best possible to do just as well from now on.

  • gabcd86

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:54 am PT

    I can say nothing that hasn't been said a million times since the 29th, but I can add my anger and disappointment to the picture - Jeff brought me to GS, and him leaving...

  • Inglorion

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:55 am PT

    Beautifully written, Ryan. Even though I'm just a reader, Friday was a really sad day for me, after learning about Jeff's departure. An end is always a beginning.

  • LordelX

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 7:58 am PT

    Well said. Yet I await your verdict and those of Brad, Alex, Tor, Matt, Brendan, Aaron and many others that make this site great as to whether there is any hope for the future of the site...in the regards of it keeping it's mixture of professionalism and humor. Until then, keep your chin up. This site is only as great as the sum of it's parts.

  • TheBates

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:02 am PT

    Gamespot still has a wealth of talented and dedicated staff to carry the torch now that's Jeff's gone, but if the reports are true- that Jeff was pushed for annoying a sponsor- how can we be sure that future Gamespot reviews are not going to be subject to being vetted before publication by the suits at CNET? Gamespot and CNET have to convince us that their reviews are not going to be subject to this form of lunacy ever again.

  • trifuzion

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:12 am PT

    This news came as a real shock to me. I'm in agreement with edubuccaneer though. With all the publicity, he's bound to get offers elsewhere. Best of luck to him and I hope the higher ups at CNet get what's coming to them!

  • nintendo_fan675

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:13 am PT

    That was really touching I really hope this isn't the end for GS

  • RicanNerd189

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:19 am PT

    All I can say is that I am sorry for you Ryan, this isn't the best of times but I hope you contiune doing what you do, I will follow.

  • SlapBoxYaMom

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:21 am PT

    Stay strong & all that jazz.

  • MrCHUP0N Site moderator

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:23 am PT

    With all of the news and the way corporate has handled this mess inciting anger, sadness and confusion among everyone, I'm encouraged to see the touch of optimism that closes out this post. Maybe I'm even a little hopeful. That Jeff is able to make a crack about game critics in basements in the face of all of this - well, I know I wouldn't. Here's to the remaining staff members keeping alive the legacy that everyone's been building since the beginning, and here's to hoping that we see Jeff (and Greg, and Rich, and Carrie, and Bob) lend his talents 'round these parts again in the future. Finally, here's to not a single of of you remaining staffers getting the same shoddy treatment that befell the man who was Gamespot for the last decade.

  • StarFry

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:24 am PT

    Great blog, Ryan and I hope Jeff hangs in there as well from this fiasco.

  • viiral

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:28 am PT

    Well said Ryan! .. i got tear in my eye for reading this.
    Viva La Jeff !!

  • Agulf

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:41 am PT

    Pimpin' in the 707

  • polsci1503

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:43 am PT

    hopefully you guys can boot those advertising morons and that Maxim dude out of the editorial wing of GS, they have no business doing what they are doing. It's my sincere wish that CNet wakes up to what is happening and realizes that their entire company's integrity is at stake if they don't make moves to correct what is happening there. Restore the separation between advertising and editorial NOW!

    Thanks for hanging in there Ryan... you guys are what makes this site special.

  • ChiefFreeman

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:44 am PT

    great read.

  • wonderboy_46

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:44 am PT

    Great tribute Ryan

  • Strider316

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:46 am PT

    well said man...well said

  • Moti_Biran

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:48 am PT

    Can't wait to see the direction the ball takes. I don't know why, but you actually made me feel a little hope! I hope I will not be disappointed! Be strong we are with you guys! The one thing I wish I could do right now is be there with all of you, and help.

  • computerk2002

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 8:54 am PT

    Dugg: http://digg.com/gaming_news/What_to_Say_about_Jeff

  • Ejaywillie

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 9:00 am PT

    I've been reading this site since the dreamcast days. After reading stuff for this long one can't take news like this very lightly. I think is a shame there was no closure like everyone else. I can not think of anyone more deserving. GS is starting to feel like a cover OG band; the name is there be only some remain. I know Jeff will be just fine. GS is more of an unknown.

    Good night, and good luck.

  • joshel

    Posted Dec 1, 2007 9:01 am PT

    That was a nice read, Ryan. Hope it gets a bit easier for you and the rest of the staff, dude. Keep it real.

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