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  • Ryan
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  • Member since: May 4, 2002
  • Last online: 08/07/09 4:41 pm PT
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couchlife

  • 6Mar 08

    http://www.giantbomb.com/

    Update your files accordingly.

  • 4Feb 08

    http://www.arrowpointingdown.com/blog/

    This is the future!

  • 1Dec 07

    Unsurprisingly, the GameSpot staff has been doing a lot of talking over the past 72 hours--with each other, with friends, with family--and there has definitely been a lot to be said, a lot to be sorted. I'm not going to burden you with the bulk of it here, because a lot of it is private and a lot of it you've probably heard already, but mostly I've grown weary of typing out the same conversation with different people. I will tell you some things that I haven't had a chance to get down in writing yet. Now seems as good a time as any.

    Jeff Gerstmann has been a significant figure in both my personal and professional life for a long, long time. I first met him around 1997 though an odd confluence of technology, music, and personal determination. He was in a bizarre local rap-ska band that, at 17, I found utterly fascinating, and he seemed funny as hell. By my recollection, we were fairly fast friends, though I was also kind of pushy about it. As an aside, this was also how I first met review editor Alex Navarro, though at the time he was a twitchy little drummer who, for the first few years that I knew him, was never seen without his black knit cap.

    Our ridiculous, protracted rap project the Suburban All-Stars was one of the more prominent early fruits of my friendship with Jeff. We arguably spent more time making each other laugh really, really hard than we did making music, though Jeff mastered the walking-and-chewing-gum dynamic and did both at once with his following music project, Midnight Brown, whose catalog stands as both some of my favorite music ever written, as well as one of the most well-produced series of inside jokes ever. I always admired Jeff's capacity for cutting wit and really imaginative vulgarity, and being around him makes you want to be funnier and more vulgar.

    My friendship with Jeff was one of the main reasons I got a part-time job with GameSpot in the spring of 2000, handling support email remotely throughout the week while toiling idly at a local JC. I was only in the office one day a week, and while catching glimpses of what it took to write about games for a living, I knew I wanted to be there all the time. Jeff has literally been there ever since, if not as my direct supervisor, than as a close co-worker and a continued friend. It's been almost 8 years since I started working at GameSpot, and Jeff was there for nearly all of my fondest and most memorable experiences on the job. He's covered my ass through rough patches and helped me become a writer I never thought I'd be, or even wanted to be. Simply put, I would not be in the video game business at all were it not for Jeff Gerstmann, and I am loathe to imagine what I might be doing with my life right now without the focus I've earned from having this ridiculous job. Long after the considerable novelty of "I write about games for a living!" wore off, it was my continued professional interaction with Jeff that has kept this job fun.

    But now, Jeff's gone, and I'm not afraid to say that it absolutely breaks my heart. I felt the departure of Rich Gallup from the site earlier this year in my bones, but this goes deeper. Jeff was a rare constant, and this marks the end of an era for both GameSpot and myself, a fact that doesn't seem to be getting any less upsetting for me. Still, one thing about a situation like this is that it encourages you to break out lots of trite sentiment and soft, obvious analogies--things that embarrassingly manage to resonate sincerely when one is in crisis--and there is one chestnut I've used on more than one occassion over the past 72 hours that I would like to share:

    The ball is still in motion. This isn't the end for Jeff Gerstmann, this isn't the end for GameSpot, and this isn't the end for me.

    drop the mic.

  • 2Nov 07

    Here's a quote from the ESRB concerning the latest drama surrounding Manhunt 2:

    "Parents need to be vigilant about monitoring what their children are downloading on the Internet and ensure that they are not making unauthorized and oftentimes illegal modifications to software and hardware that remove the controls the industry has so diligently put in place for their own protection."

    Uhm, if your kids are savvy enough to modify their video-game hardware, be it through hardware or software means, I seriously doubt you stand even the remotest of chances of monitoring their media intake. Then again, I'm not at all convinced that monitoring media intake past a certain age is practical, possible, or even particularly fruitful. I had no problem watching movies and listening to music and playing games that my parents would not have approved of, and that was before the damn Internet.

  • 14Jul 07

    Merlin

    Orko

    Wizard from Gauntlet

    Gandalf

    Mr. Wizard

    Harry Potter

    David Copperfield

    The Wizard

    Wizard Of Wor

    Clippy

  • 28May 07

    1931-2007

    You will be missed.

    Image courtesy of Match Game Wallpaper Factory.

  • 24Apr 07

    Once again, Vinny goes above and beyond the call of duty for the sole sake of being ridiculous.

  • 18Apr 07

    Here's an IM exchange I had earlier today with GameSpot video producer Vinny Caravella.

    Ryan (4:13:17 PM): so how excited are we about Dragon Ball Online!
    Vinny (4:13:41 PM): I know my power levels are through the roof!
    Ryan (4:14:12 PM): POWER LEVEL ONE GAJILLIONDY
    Vinny (4:15:00 PM): WHHAA!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! (so this is the power ryan was hiding when I talked with him before...)
    Ryan (4:17:15 PM): now I will show you the true meaning of power! AUUUAUAUAUARRRRRRRBGHGHAUUGGGHHHHHH!
    Ryan (4:17:20 PM): *glow*
    Vinny (4:19:35 PM): GAH, (power...so intense...must buy Frank more time!) MONSTER!! Stop playing with me and show me what you've really got! I'm bored of these games!
    Ryan (4:23:11 PM): To fight you now would be a waste of such perfection...it would be like SQUASHING A BUG! No! I require a more worthy opponent to test my new-found powers. You have three days to prepare yourself for...UTTER DOMINATION!
    Vinny (4:28:41 PM): Damn you Rydeezy!! (such arrogance! his power is off the charts, not even Bradku could hope to challenge him at this point. In 2 days Jeffeta will come out of the Hypoglycemic Time Chamber, but could he have found a way to surpass Super Bagman 2?)
    Ryan (4:29:06 PM): alright, I'm done. I can't top that
    Vinny (4:29:54 PM): whew...dorkfest over
    Ryan (4:30:04 PM): I couldn't tell if that was awesome or depressing
    Vinny (4:30:22 PM): pretty awesome

    • Posted Apr 18, 2007 4:38 pm PT
    • Category: Games
    • 34 Comments
  • 5Apr 07

    For the past two years, my younger brother has been heavily involved in his high school's robotics team, which is tied directly into the FIRST Robotics Competition. It's a pretty amazing program designed to add some flash to the often seemingly stale, mind-numbing field of engineering. The idea is inherently appealing to me--kids building robots to play sports strikes me as the ultimate, real-life video game--but I didn't really realize how exciting it could be in practice until I went to one of the regional qualifiers held in a sports arena at San Jose State University last year. Blaring music, mascots, color-coordinated cheering sections, and a high-energy MC keeping the crowd perpetually pumped. The game itself was also a sight to behold, with six robots ranging from four to six feet in height and from 100 to 120 pounds in weight fighting it out on the playfield. I can remember thinking to myself "I am watching my brother pilot a robot at a varsity-level sporting event. I am living in the future."

    My brother's team, the Tech High Phantoms (#675), and their robot Gloria Machina, competed at two regional qualifiers this year, making their way into the semifinals at San Jose State University, and the quarterfinals at the University of California at Davis. I went to both regionals to cheer on the team, and while I had never understood the emotional investment that hardcore sports fans put into their teams, now I get it. I understand why they always refer to the team with the inclusive "we". "We had a really good season this year." The highs when they won were sublime, and had me jumping up out of my seat and screaming at the top of my lungs. I dug my fingers into my girlfriend's leg when they were one game away from getting knocked out of the quarterfinals because of the stress, and when they did lose it left me in a funk for the rest of the day. I can't even imagine what the pressure felt like for the team itself--the pit crew, the programmers, the mechanical engineers, and likely most of all, the pilots. These nerds are getting to experience the visceral glory and agony usually reserved for athletes.

    While I knew that the top three teams from each regional qualifier would be invited to compete at the National Championships in Atlanta, I was unaware that there were two additional awards given out at each regional qualifier for exceptional teams who would also be invited to Atlanta. I was driving back to San Francisco from Davis, bummed out that we had been knocked out during the quarterfinals. It ended the season for the team, and since my brother's a senior, it would be his last time competing in FIRST. But then I got the call--we had gotten the Engineering Inspiration award, and we were going to Atlanta!

    My dad and my brother went as spectators to the nationals last year, and I'm told that the regionals are peanuts in comparison. They fill the Georgia Dome with four playfields going simultaneously, with the adjacent convention center serving as a pit area for the hundred of individual teams. Imagine March Madness, except it takes place over three days, and there are robots. It's like Nerdvana. Not wanting to miss such a spectacle, especially when our team has made it further now than they have in their seven-year history, I'm packing my bags and heading out to Atlanta to watch it all unfurl next week. With DV camera in hand I intend on covering the event embedded-reporter-style, so expect to see something up on the site, possibly during the competition. You'll also be able to watch live video streams of the championships courtesey of NASA, and if you do, be sure to root for the Tech High Phantoms, Team 675!

    Gloria Machina! Glory to the machine!

    UPDATE: Team 675 has been assigned to the Galileo Field. Additionally, I'm told that DirecTV subscribers will be able to tune into channel 376 on Friday and Saturday April 13 and 14 between 9AM and 6PM EST to watch the competition live. How's that for media exposure!

    • Posted Apr 5, 2007 1:34 pm PT
    • Category: Technology
    • 16 Comments
  • 16Mar 07
    Matthew Rorie stole a portion of my precious time by introducing me to Peggle. Now, I am taking back the night with Irritating Game.

    One of these games should show up on XBLA for around 400 points. The other will drive you insane in record-breaking time.

    EDIT: My current top score is 33.711. Beat that!
    • Posted Mar 16, 2007 1:09 pm PT
    • Category: Games
    • 24 Comments
  • 13Jan 07
    I know it's not quite breaking news at this point, but Jellyvision's classic quiz-game series You Don't Know Jack has returned after a good seven year hiatus, and I find myself disproportionately excited about it. Right now it's only in beta, which means that you only get a single Dis or Dat question each day, which is only a fraction of a full session of YDKJ, but just enough to keep me thinking about the show incessantly. Even just that little taste has reminded me of how smart, funny, and incredibly engaging YDKJ can be.

    I was a huge, obsessive fan of the old You Don't Know Jack Netshow, which provided a brand-spankin'-new set of questions twice a week back in '99, when it was something of a technological marvel. It disappeared when, like so many other ventures of the time, everyone realized that they had no idea how to make money off this cool thing. I assume that their new Internet-based YDKJ thing will function roughly the same as the old Netshow once it's up and running, though I hope it will let you play against live online opponents, something that was a total fantasy for Flash-based content back in the dial-up days. I'm happy to have it back in any form, really, but here's what Jellyvision really needs to do.

    Bring You Don't Know Jack to the Wii. I suggested this already earlier this week on The HotSpot, but I wanted to reiterate.

    Bring You Don't Know Jack to the Wii.

    The well-known game-show format makes it the perfect casual group game, it's a better fit in the living room than it ever could be on its native PC platform, and the Wii remote is almost as close to an straight-up game-show buzzer that a video game controller has ever come. The PC game used to come on a single CD-ROM, and since it has maintained the same, simple text-and-audio interface, can you imagine how many questions they could cram onto a DVD? I get physically excited just thinking about it.
    • Posted Jan 13, 2007 9:11 am PT
    • Category: Editorial
    • 27 Comments
  • 8Jan 07
    As is tradition, Microsoft kicked off this year's CES with its big keynote press conference, and in hopes that they'd show some sweet new Xbox 360 business, I decided to watch Microsoft's live video stream. And, as is tradition with the volume of goods and services being shown at CES, it was mostly boring. Even the crowd in the auditorium was hard-pressed to fill the dead air in the speakers' plentiful applause breaks, spiking the boring with some awkward.

    Still, the Windows Live stuff is very exciting to me--I actually had a little fit when they showed the demo of a person using Vista and a person on their 360 playing Uno together. The Xbox 360 IPTV stuff sounds very exciting, but they didn't provide much hard detail about it, and without the accompanying announcement of an HDMI-enabled 360 with a 120GB drive, it just doesn't seem practical yet. Here's what really caught my eye, though.



    What you're looking at here is a screenshot of Windows Media Center for Vista. Look at all familiar? If you're a PSP or PS3 owner, it definitely should.



    Not only does Media Center bear a remarkable resemblance to Sony's Cross Media Bar design, it even whiffs lightly of Apple's Front Row interface.



    For three companies who couldn't have more divergent styles and design ethics, it's a little unnerving that all of their media-access interfaces look so damn similar. Either everyone is running out of ideas, or this kind of layout is truly the best way to access your media. I'm not trying to call foul or place blame here, but their similarities are interesting. Thoughts?
    • Posted Jan 8, 2007 10:38 am PT
    • Category: Technology
    • 28 Comments
  • 28Dec 06
    This guy has played a good deal of Saints Row, and has taken to capturing some of its more spectacular bugs on tape. Rather than just post some boring 15-minute YouTube clips with bad sound, he's used them to create a masterpiece.

    Buggy Saints Row: The Musical

    I'm loathe to call it machinima, but if that's what it is, it's one of the better pieces I've seen (though I have a confusing appreciation for this). Seriously, watch Buggy Saints Row and then paste it to everyone in your IM list before they do it to you.
    • Posted Dec 28, 2006 10:21 pm PT
    • Category: Games
    • 23 Comments
  • 12Dec 06
    So maybe I wasn't the hugest fan of certain choices made with Serenity, but that does little to tarnish my abiding affection for Firefly in general. That said, a Firefly MMO seems like a really poor idea.

    The fundamental problem is who cares about the Firefly universe? The whole space-western angle made for some novel anachronisms, but that's not really why Firefly fans are Firefly fans. It was the characters and their stories that made Firefly great, and that's something that even the best MMOs have a hard time conveying.

    My other question is, who's gonna actually play a Firefly MMO? They are costly to develop, and require a large number of long-term players for any measure of success. The Firefly fanbase may be fervent, but it's simply not big enough to support an MMO, if anything. The show itself lasted only 14 episodes and Serenity cost $39 million to produce, while only making $25 million. Do we see a pattern emerging?

    I'll say it again: a Firefly MMO seems like a really poor idea. It will not serve the fans, and it will not make money for the publisher. If you want to appeal to Firefly fans, ditch this trendy MMO nonsense and go for a single-player experience that better serves the story and the characters. A basic action adventure format would be an obvious, easy choice, though Freelancer was basically Firefly but without all the cursing in Chinese. Hell, even a point-and-click graphical adventure would be a better fit, but a Firefly MMO seems like a really poor idea.
  • 4Dec 06
    He might have seen his "career" revitalized by the most recent season of Dancing with the Stars, but that doesn't mean Mario Lopez is above making public appearances to endorse a game that glorifies the trapping, forcible breeding, trafficking, and inevitable mutilation of papier-mâché-based animals. Watch in a sublime mix of awe, pity, and abject horror as A.C. Slater gets busy at The World's Biggest Pinata Party, which was held by Microsoft over the weekend on the Santa Monica Pier.



    In the words of Jessie Spano, "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!" I actually couldn't tell you what happens beyond the first five seconds
    of this video, because every time I try to watch it, I actually black
    out. There's something about pomade and line-dancing that causes my cerebral cortex to just seize up.

    What I really like, though, is this totally sincere, off-the-cuff remark that was actually made by Lopez, as referenced in this morning's press release from Microsoft about the event:

    “Starting with some basic tools that allow you to create a thriving piñata paradise that is teeming with wild and wonderful little piñata animals and is uniquely your own is incredibly entertaining and really quite satisfying.”

    When my children ask me where cynicism comes from, I'll just point to a framed copy of this press release, which will be hung over the mantle.
    • Posted Dec 4, 2006 10:02 am PT
    • Category: People
    • 16 Comments
  • 29Nov 06
    I had a dream over the Thanksgiving break that it was announced that Amped 4 was in development. When I woke up and realized it was all a dream, it broke my heart.
    • Posted Nov 29, 2006 12:12 pm PT
    • Category: Other
    • 23 Comments
  • 17Aug 06
    So, LucasArts and Ubisoft have teamed up to make a new Star Wars game for the PSP and DS. My question is, who, outside of socially awkward Star Wars geeks who eat their own scabs, gives half a damn about Twi'lek Rianna Saren, the Jedi knight around whom Star Wars: Lethal Alliance revolves? She's straight-up b-team.

    At the end of Episode III, all I wanted to know is what sort of nastiness does Darth Vader get up to in the years preceding the original trilogy? He's a big mopey heartbroken wuss at the end of Revenge of the Sith, but by the beginning of Star Wars he's this stone-cold badass that's known the galaxy over for choking dudes with his brain and exploding planets. Where's the game that explores how he earns that reputation of unmitigated brutality?

    The keepers of the Star Wars mythos want you to believe that it's all about the struggle between good and evil in the hearts of men, but outside of Knights of the Old Republic, the dark side is rarely explored. Why the hell would I want to be a third-string Jedi that inevitably gets exterminated when I could be the dark lord of the Sith responsible for bringing the galaxy to its knees?

  • 15Aug 06

    According to MyGamerCard.net, right now I have more achievement points in Madden NFL 07 than anyone else ON THE WHOLE DAMN PLANET. Here's a screencap of the Madden NFL 07 leaderboard, taken earlier today.



    It's ironic, since I'm not a huge football fan, and I managed to get all those points without actually playing a game of football, just simming through the superstar and franchise modes. Still, getting points for games that aren't out yet...is delicious.

    UPDATE: Hours after originally posting this, I was quickly de-throned, and currently sit in the #3 position. Just goes to show you, such status is fleeting. Here's the actual leaderboard page, for those interested.

    http://www.mygamercard.net/leaderboard.php?gt=&g=107&z=&c=&x=38&y=16


  • 11Aug 06

    There are the occasional freebies, and there's a certain amount of access granted by the job here at GameSpot, but generally speaking, when we want games, we gotta go out to the stores to buy them for ourselves, just like everyone else. Though the tastes of the editorial staff are usually pretty divergent, once in a while the stars align and everyone gets excited about the same game. Such was the case for Dead Rising, which just about everyone decided they needed to have on launch day, including myself.

    I actually had the foresight to preorder the game through bestbuy.com the Friday prior. However, looking at my order on Tuesday, launch day, I saw that the status had changed from Preordered to Backordered. I call customer service, and sure enough, bestbuy.com didn't have enough copies to immediately fill my preorder, leaving me to cancel my order and look elsewhere.

    I called the nearby EB Games on Powell, though all I got from that was a snotty clerk chiding me for not preordering it. Which is a massive crock anyways, since Carrie Gouskos did preorder Dead Rising from that EB Games, but when she showed up to claim her copy on Tuesday, they said they didn't have enough copies of the game to fill her preorder. Pretty despicable. Isn't the point of a preorder that you're guaranteed a copy of the game upon its release? Carrie is talking about filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, seeing how this is now the FOURTH TIME IN A ROW that the EB Games on Powell has been unable to fulfill her preorder. I've always gotten nothing but crummy service there anyways, so I'll support her cause by boycotting that store.

    I called the brick & mortar Best Buy in SF around noon, and they weren't sure if they were even getting the game that day, and told me to call back around 3:00. I didn't even bother calling the Virgin Megastore or CompUSA, because they never have games in stock on the day they launch. After more phone calls and a late-day online order for in-store pickup, I finally managed to get myself a copy of Dead Rising on the day it was released. With a similar level of perseverance, I believe most of the other editors were able to do the same.

    My question is, why is buying video games such a ridiculous process? Film distributors are able to release movies across the entire nation on the same day. If I go into a halfway reputable DVD or music retailer on a Tuesday, I can be all but guaranteed to be greeted by shelves filled with that week's new releases. But somehow, video game distributors are unable to consistently hit their release dates with enough stock to meet the demand, which I frankly find a little bit embarrassing. It almost seems like these companies are *daring* you to try and buy their games.

    Canceling E3 was a big step in the maturation of this business, the next step is to start delivering the product like you actually care about your customers.
  • 10Aug 06
    My roommate Brian Malow is a stand-up comic by trade, and tonight marks his first national TV appearance, which is a pretty huge deal for him.

    SO! If you're the type of person that's up real late, or you've got a TiVo, I strongly encourage you to catch tonight's (Thursday, August 10th) episode of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. You'll find it on CBS after Letterman.

    Do it for the children! And for the guy that pays the other half of my rent!
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