Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, doctor...I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

• 27Jun 09

  I Got My 360 to Work Blog with some Survival Horror Ranting

  XBL - RaccoonusDoodus

  I only have a silver account though and no games but hey, I got a 360!! ^.^

  Just in vase you're all wondering, the PS3 is still and always will be my "main" console, due to free online play and plus I have to carry my PS3 back and forth from my mom's and my dad's houses already, I can't bring my 360 too, it'll just stay here at my dad's.

  As far as a gold membership goes, there's no way in hell that I'm paying to play online. As I said, I can play for free on my PS3, so I'm just gonna stay with that.

  As for games, I really don't care about any that I can't get on PS3 EXCEPT for Alan Wake, which comes out next year, so I'm really not gonna be doing much with my 360 at all until then. When I saw Alan Wake at E3 I was just in awe. And it actually looked kinda scary too. I mean, 1, I was watching someone play it, 2, I've played numerous horror games and I love them, and 3, it was just a short little demo, and it still looked scary to me. I love the concept too, a writer looking for the lost pages of his own horror novel? Genius concept.

  I guess I just love games where your running around looking for pages

  But in all seriousness, I think it's a great concept and I can relate too. I think the demo would've been perfect if there was not gunplay, though. Why do all survival horror games make this mistake?? Look at what Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is doing, it looks like a s h i t game, but it's doing survival horror combat right. No, not combat, RUNNING. Survival horror games are much more scarier when you don't have a loaded semi-automatic handgun and when you're forced to desperatly scamper from monsters. If it was like that in Alan Wake, the game would look perfect. I just hate how all survival horror games make that same mistake. Hell, it was a JOKE in Silent Hill 3. A katana? A mace? A submachine gun? Are you effing kidding me!?! That just made this whole situation funnier. If, on the other hand, I had nothing but the pocket knife that I started out with at the beginning of the game, I WOULD have been hella scared.

  Not to mention, that totally screws with the attempt to portray desperation in a character. Again, coming back to SH3, the scene where Heather finds a handgun and then a monster, she shoots at it instead of running. That just annoyed the hell out of me. Here is a completely innocent teenager (?) on her way back to her home when she comes across a monster and all of a sudden she's just shooting away?? BS. That just made Heather a completely unrealistic character and the whole thing made no sense.

  And now, in Alan Wake, am I supposed to take it that this completely innocent guy desperatly trying to find his girlfriend is shooting innocent (possessed) people?? No way am I buying that crap. There is just no believability there. Shooting just makes him seem not innocent and not desperate, which makes the whole horror experience not terrifying. It makes me care about the main character and his issues much less.

  IMHO.

  And don't get me wrong, SH3 is a fantastic horror game, along with 1 and 2.

  I'm getting way off topic here but my point is I would be looking forward to Alan Wake a lot more if there was no gunplay in the game.

  Back on topic, my 360 is really just gonna be collecting dust for the next year or so. I might go out on a limb and get Splinter Cell: Conviction, but I'd really only be doing it so that I had something to do with my 360. Plus, there's enough games coming out this year that I have to buy (for PS3) so I don't think that I will. And on top of all that I have to get Kingom Hearts Days for the DS in September.

  Bottem Line:

  I have a working 360 but nothing to do with it until Alan Wake comes out next year. XBL - RaccoonusDoodus (Silver Account) and I hate gunplay in survival horror games.

  I'm going to start doing a "Bottem Line" in all my blogs now, for all of the lazy readers

  RIP MJ

  • Posted Jun 27, 2009 9:44 pm PT
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• 22Jun 09

  ...I got a DS :D

  A fat blue DS.

  

  And guess how much I got it for??

  $15

  How? My friend sold it to me. Why? This is why:

  

  September 29, 2009.

  You got me right, I bought a mint condition DS for $15 just for 1 game.

  Before I found out that my friend was willing to sell me a DS for $15 I was OBSESSING over all of the KH: 358/2 Days trailers and I was even considering buying a DS Lite sometime later this year, so the second I found out that I could get a working DS for just $15, naturally, I went for it And now I'm so happy because I get to play 358/2 Days!!! I can't wait!!!

  I also borrowed 5 DS games from my friend, New Super Mario Bros., Mario Kart DS, Mario Party DS, Mario VS Donkey Kong 2, and Warioware Touched. I think it's worth mentioning that I beat both Mario Party DS and Warioware

  Sooo....yeah. 358/2 Days is gonna OWN.

  And go see The Hangover.

  And I still NEED inFamous. Will probably get it next week.

  And comment

  • Posted Jun 22, 2009 10:06 pm PT
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• 7Jun 09

  E3, Giant Bombs, Cellar Rats and More: The Blog About Everything.

  This is going to take me awhile, I have so much to talk about. I guess I can shorten it up:

  E3 happened

  I'm thinking about leaving GameSpot for GiantBomb

  Cellar Rats are probably the most common creatures in games

  I beat Silent Hill 3 FINALLY

  I say "Orbital Drop Shock Troopers" because it sounds more formal than "ODST"

  I just recently watched The Matrix trilogy for the very first time

  I effing NEED inFamous

  The MTV Movie Awards happened

  "Moose Tracks" is my new favorite ice cream flavor

  I still have two weeks left in school

  I did not see Star Trek or Terminator Salvation and I fear that I may also miss Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

  and most inportantly:

  I got a 360.

  ...

  well, sorta.

  All of this happened in th one week that I have not had access to the internet

  But, before I talk about all that, E3 is the big subject here, so...

  OMFGGGGGG

  E3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  First, the Press Conferences. Listed from best to worst.

  Sony - That was one big ass screen lmao. But in all seriousness, watching the conference made me glad that I own a PS3. I don't even know where to begin, I guess that it's just best said that there wasn't a game there that I rolled my eyes at (maybe MAG, don't think it looks *that* amazing, but hey, that's what I thought about Resistance 2 and Team Fortress 2 and those are two of my favorite games, and I thought Killzone 2 online looked awesome and I don't like it, so I'm really not good at judging online shooters.) But besides that, Sony was just pretty freaking awesome. Oh, and the wand is SUCH a rip. But, it's still nice to have.

  Microsoft - LMAO I could crack a million effing jokes about Milo. When I get to try it out I'm just gonna be like "Wassup my n***** you been b*angin some ho*s?"and see what he would reply XD and I would have a cigarette or something and then hand it to him and see what he does XDD ohhhhhhhh the things I would do...but ANYWAY, Microsoft was also pretty good, as always. Kinda disappointed the the big Valve announcment was Left 4 Dead 2, but whatever. I don't think Project Natal will turn out good, it seems like it would be glitchy, but whatever. I wouldn't ever spend money on it, controllers are just fine with me. And don't even get me started on how they're just effing milking Halo to death. No, it's past milk, they're making Halo into freaking CHEESE. I must admit I did think that Orbital Drop Shock Troopers did interest me (More than the other Halos) it's not worth making a big deal out of and then ANOTHER one? Wars, Orbital Drop Shock Troopers, Reach...it should have died at Halo 3. It's just gone too far. Halo is not that great. But besides those, ALAN WAKE looked EPIC. I WANT THAT. Uhhh, having a hard time remember what else there was...hmmm...well I just remember that Alan Wake looked awesome.

  EA - I actually didn't watch EA. But it HAD to be better than Nintendo and Ubisoft. Plus they had a better game lineup to begin with...so...

  Nintendo - Meh. New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Metroid: Other M, and Super Mario Galaxy 2 = only things that interested me. And I just can't stand "We get everyone into gaming and we sold the most consoles and we're the best and blah blah blah!!!!!!!!" ughh

  Ubisoft - Splinter Cell: Conviction and Assassin's Creed II. That's it. And SC: C was at Microsoft and AC2 was at Sony so basically Ubi conferece = pointless.

  Here's the list I made of games that interested me (in no order):

  Splinter Cell: Conviction
  Assassin's Creed II
  Crackdown 2
  Left 4 Dead 2
  Alan Wake
  Metal Gear Solid: Rising
  Borderlands
  Final Fantasy XIII
  Final Fantasy XIV
  Lost Planet 2
  MAG
  New Super Mario Bros. Wii
  Super Mario Galaxy 2
  Metroid: Other M
  Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack in Time
  Jak and Daxter: The Lost Frontier
  Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
  Tony Hawk: Ride
  DJ Hero
  Blur
  Split/Second
  God of War III

  and there's probably a few more that I missed.

  E309>>>>>>>the last few years.

  OMFG I ALMOST went. My dad worked there this year and he tried to get me in on Day 2 but he couldn't but oh well, I'm planning on going to E for All this year

  So, moving on...

  I think GiantBomb is a lot better than GameSpot and I listen to the GiantBombcast every week and I just love Jeff, Ryan, Brad, and Vinny (the founders of GB and ex-GameSpot employees) but I have a lot more friends here on GS so I don't think I'll move.

  Cellar Rats. Find me one RPG without cellar rats lol. If I was making a gaming website of my own, I think I'd call it cellarrat.com I just think it sounds cool. The reason I'm talking about this is because recently I realized what I want to do for a living, I want to work at a website devoted to gaming, and not necessarily review games, just report news on them, as in a journalist of the gaming industry. I realized this when listening to the GiantBombcast one time and just thinking "They sound like they have so much fun...OMFG THAT'S what I should do for a living!!!!!!!!" lol so yeah, in about 10 years look out for cellarrat.com crap, there's already a cellarrat.com...ok well look out for cellarMOUSE.com

  Finally beat SH3. Was awesome, but SH2 was better imho. And the ending suked. Oh but the Church was effing SCARY.

  Matrix = new favorite movie. Reloaded was also epic, but then Revolutions was just CRAP.

  inFamousinFamousinFamousinFamousinFamousinFamousinFamousinFamousinFamous I NEED INFAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  MTV Awards were funny but Twilight winning everything was lame.

  Moose Tracks ice cream is amazing. Try it.

  Blahh this is the first time in my life when I don't want school to end. This was the best school year of my life and then next year I'm MOVING schools!!!!!!!! I love my school, but next year I'm going to a ghetto-er school that's further away from my house just because they have a "Broadcast Journalism/Communications Technology" magnet. Although that is exactly what I want to do, I'm still unsure about moving to a different school, but oh well. I need to soak up these last two weeks...and unless I get inFamous soon Summer will be quite boring this year.

  I really want to see Star Trek, Terminator, and Transformers but that's TOO MANY!!!!!

  and the big news:

  I got an XBox 360 Elite, but it's kind of complicated. See, my dad's rich friend gave it to me, but he said that it has some visual glitches/problems, he said that the pixels would bleed after a while or something, but I can't test it out because I have the wrong power brick cord. See the 360 has been updated over time and the cords have been changed and blah blah blah so I can't use it at all for now BUT when I do get it running that means that I have my very own 360 ^.^

  and......yeah. That's it.

  Comment

  • Posted Jun 7, 2009 7:54 pm PT
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