• 23Sep 07

  Attend the Tale of Sweeney Todd

  So is the first line of Stephen Sondheim and Hugh Wheeler's famous musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Based on the nineteenth-century legend of the demon barber who murdered his customers and, with the help of his assistant, Nellie Lovett, made them into meat pies. It opened on Broadway in 1979 starring Len Cariou in the title role and Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Lovett. The show won eight Tony Awards, including best musical, best score, best book, best actor (Cariou), and best actress (Lansbury).

  What makes the show so amazing? The score, plain and simple. The musical score for Sweeney Todd was composed by Stephen Sondheim, composer and lyricist for not only Sweeney Todd, but also for the musicals Assassins, Into the Woods, Follies, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Sunday in the Park with George (for which he won a Pulitzer Prize for Drama), Passion, and A Little Night Music (ever heard the song "Send in the Clowns?" That's what it's from), and did lyrics for Gypsy and West Side Story.

  But that's enough of harping on Sondheim's reputation. The actual score for Sweeney Todd is highly complex,operatic, even,and it makes heavy use of counterpoint, notably in the "Kiss Me Quartet," and leitmotif, notably in the eponymous ballad, and other recurring melodies.But I must be honest - the songs aren't "pretty" or "hummable," but they don't have to be. The music passes the drama perfectly, with the "Epiphany" being Sweeney's meltdown, "The Contest" being bombastic prattle, and the three "Johanna" songs, sung by Anthony Hope, Judge Turpin, and Sweeney. Anthony's is a love ballad, whereas Judge Turpin's is a Mea Culpa, and it's quite freaky, as he battles with his lust for his sixteen year-old war (such a creepy song that it was cut fron the original Broadway performance, though available on the cast recording). Sweeney's rendition is a soft lyrical piece that he sings as he slits the throats of his customers.

  He's a murderer? Yes. It's a story about revenge. Sweeney is out for revenge against the Judge shippedhim off tothe penal colonies of Australiaon a trumped-up charge, raped his wife, and adopted his daughter (possibly out of remorse). However, he snaps and decides to kill indiscriminantly until he can get back at the Judge and the Beadle. What follows is, well, I'm not giving any more spoilers.

  The two most famous people to play the title role are Len Cariou, who originated the role on Broadway, and George Hearn, who replaced Cariou, and has been in two filmed versions: the 1982 touring cast with Angela Lansbury and in a later concert version with Patti Lupone. They are considered the best Sweeney's, though their approaches are different, and fans of the show are divided as to who is better.

  Len Cariou won a Tony Award for the role, and his performance is on the Original Broadway Cast Recording. He portrayed Sweeney as somewhat more mild-mannered and more soft-spoken then Hearn, and thus is easier to sympathize with as an anti-hero. Unfortunately, it was his last great Broadway performance, as the part was so vocally demanding that it ruined his voice.

  George Hearn won an Emmy for his portrayal, and he is clearly a better singer than Len Cariou was. His portrayal was a bit less subtle than Cariou's, and his performance of the "Epiphany" is very effective. Personally, I find him a bit over-bearing, but he is certainly a better singer, and considering that this musical has more singing than dialogue, that's not much of a problem.

  Also, Tim Burton is directing a movie version, starring Johnny Depp in the title role, Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett, Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin, and Sacha Baron Cohen as Adolfo Pirelli, a pompous rival barber. The movie is set for nationwide release on December 21.

  

  • Posted Sep 23, 2007 1:38 pm PT
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• 14Feb 07

  The Hermit Credo

  1. The true Hermit must never start threads to bait the consolite. He must never bash the console for sake of angering the consolite. He must never start a thread bashing a console on basis of hardware, control, or alleged lack of games.

  2. The true Hermit must never rise to anger. He must bear the misconceptions of the consolites with patience. He must seek not to attack, but to enlighten the ignorant consolite. If the consolite is not educated, then the Hermit will continue the same, never stooping to attack the consolite's system of choice.

  3. The true Hermit knows that it is the consolite, not the console, that is what needs fixing.

  4. The Hermit cares not for the exclusives of the other consoles. Never should he covet the games of other systems. The true Hermit is content with the vast library that the PC has. He must never criticize the libraries of the other systems. As such, since the PC has so many exclusives, the Hermit must never be upset if a single exclusive is ported to the consoles, because he knows that the PC version will be superior in most cases.

  5. It is of the utmost importance that the Hermit never directly state that the gaming console is inferior to the PC. He may express his belief, based on fact, that the PC is superior. He may state the PC's superiority, but never the console's inferiority.

  There's my writing of the Hermit's previously unwritten code of honor. We'll see if it gets approved by the other Hermits. >_>

  • Posted Feb 14, 2007 8:03 pm PT
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• 1Jan 07

  And now for some Assorted Stupid Statements

  See if you can remember who said them.
  
  "Gears of War is okay but Red Steel revolutionizes the
  way we see FPS"
  
  "I rated Half-Life 2 what it deserved (a 1.0) because it's a blatant copy off Halo"
  
  "Halo 2 > Starcraft and Diablo"
  
  "Halo 2 > PC Gaming" (this is a different person from the above post)
  
  "Halo 3 will get a 10" (this is from the same person as above)
  
  "Sony would never sell their customers a defective product"
  
  "I only play true Sony games"
  
  "It's impossible for the cows to be owned"
  
  "I daresay I'm smarter than the mods here, most cows here are"
  
  "The Sims and World of Warcraft are RTS games"
  
  "PC has the smallest and worst library" - wait, that's not one person, that's half of the lemming population. Nevermind.
  
  "The best RPG of 2003 was Halo!" - oh, wait, that was a casual gamer from school. You wouldn't guess who. Nevermind.
  
  "But what about pointed sticks?" - no, that was from Monty Python
  
  "Halo 2 is the best game ever made, at least until Halo 3 comes out"
  
  "I am not a fanboy" - Actually, that's pretty much all the big-name cows.
  
  "Gameplay>Graphics" - And now for something completely different: the sheep posting up pics, desperately trying to prove that their system's graphics aren't so bad. Make up your freakin' mind. No, that's not from any one person.
  
  "PC gaming is dead" - no, that's pretty much every clueless console fanboy.
  
  "A good gaming PC costs five thousand dollars" - the same as above
  
  "Gears of War has jaggies. FACT"
  
  "If Gears of War was on the PS3, the higher standards would have put it at AA"
  
  "Halo 2 is better than Half-Life 2. Halo 2 scored a 9.4, whereas Half-Life 2 scored 9.2" - well, that's multiple lemmings, name one, anyone will do
  
  This is now a transcript from one fanboy:
  
  "Counter-Strike is overrated casual garbage"
  
  *ignores the fact that CS is on GS's "Greatest Games of All Time List*
  
  "Halo 2 was not a disappointment, look, it got a 10 in gameplay!"
  
  And that ends that transcript.
  
  "Once I get my PS3, I'm selling my PC."
  
  "Doom 3 and Prey have deeper multiplayer modes than Counter-Strike and Halo 2"
  
  So there you have it - Assorted Stupid Statements, brought to you by the fanboys of System Wars, a guy from my school, and Eric Idle of Monty Python. Well, Idle's statement wasn't particularly stupid, and it was a hilarious sketch...
  
  Anyways, I will leave you with one last statement-
  
  Please... please stop the stupidity... I'm beggin you...
  
  >_>
  
  • Posted Jan 1, 2007 12:47 am PT
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