It's a whole new season.

• 19May 09

  "Everybody's got a boat upon the ocean...

  ...not everybody's sailing out to sea."

  I'll admit, this is addicting and makes for an easy way out of coming up with your own creative blog title.

  Just in case any of you haven't read Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows yet and want to at some point (what exactly are you waiting for if so?), this is a...

  ***SPOILER ALERT***

  Two years (I wanna say about two years) after it came out, I finished the last Harry Potter book yesterday. I don't know how many of you (if any of you) read the books, but I liked them all and had read the first six all sort of right around when each had come out, but I had never gotten the seventh because I just never got around to it. That and I don't usually spend money on a lot of things. But when I saw it in a Borders up in Plattsburgh when we were visiting my bro for Easter, I felt compelled to get it. I didn't start reading it till about a week after I got it, and combined it probably took me about 5-6 days to finish it (I read it off-and-on). Having finished it, I have to say I was really surprised that there wasn't as much death and sadness as had been advertised (or as I had been expecting). A few supporting characters died, but I was half-expecting Ron and Hermione to die bravely for Harry in some way or something like that, or maybe even Harry dying along with Voldemort. And the ending was really cheesy, showing how, in nineteen years, Harry would marry Ginny and have three kids: James, Lily, and Albus (really? You couldn't have come up with names more original than that?) and Ron would marry Hermione and have two kids: Hugo and Rose. Anywho, it was a happy ending that seemed too predictable, but overall it was pretty good. My cousin said she hated it so much that it turned her off from the entire series, which is saying something, as I'm pretty sure it was one of her favorites at one time. Anyone else read it and find themselves asking, that's it?

  My first day of work at the supermarket was tonight. It was actually scheduled to be tomorrow, but they needed me to cover a shift, so I worked for 5 hours. I don't know if any of you remember from last fall about a girl I liked and was at one point trying to get with, and then found out she had kind of a messed up life and was making some bad decisions and all that $hit...well, I don't know if I ever said anything, but she works there too. And since I had tried to avoid talking to her altogether since this past winter when I made the decision to break off ties with her, I knew going in that this was going to be awkward. I'll admit, me ignoring most of her texts for a few months was a huge d!ck move, but I felt like it was the only way of conveying the message of "I don't want to talk to you anymore" without actually saying it. Apparently, some people can't take a clue.

  I was relieved to find out she wasn't working tonight, so I wasn't so tense for the first few hours or so. That is, until I was coming through to the front end through the bottle closet, and there she was. Except, she was checking out and had her back to me, so I slid out of there pretty quick. I felt stupid about it, but I really just wanna move on from her, and having her see me and try to strike up a conversation with me doesn't really condone that. I went outside to collect some carts, and I was half-looking for her car to make sure I wasn't near it when she left, so I sort of hung out in the cart corrals (which have roofs low enough where my face can be hidden) when she came out. I saw her leave, so I calmed down a little and resumed by menial job. I actually spent a good while literally scrubbing down kid carts (they have these seats in them that look like cars and apparently they were dirty) tonight. Anyway, an hour or so later, I go to the front podium area to see when my break is, and I turn the corner, and there she is, getting her schedule for the week. She looked right at me.

  I was amiable enough and said the usual "Hey, what's up?" and we talked for a little, mostly about work this summer and how we were both pretty loaded with work. It never went beyond that, and I was pretty glad about that. She left, and I went back to whatever the hell I was doing. I was worried about her asking me about "us" and all that crap, and since I'm still not ready to talk about with her (I don't know that I ever will be), I was cool with it. We talked like two friends, nothing more. If that's what comes out of all this, fine. I won't kick and scream about it. She's kinda cool, but I've heard her stories. I'm not going back there again. I don't need to deal with that.

  So I go to clock out when I'm done and I figured I'd pick up some ice cream and gum while I was there. I went to one register, but the lady there had WIC checks (for those who aren't familiar, it's one of those welfare programs to allow mothers with little to spend to buy basics such as milk, juice, and cereal for their kids), and these checks are take a while to go through and get them all straightened out, so I go to another register that didn't have such a huge wait. I go up to the girl and she rings me out, and then when she hands me my stuff, she just, out of nowhere, tells me, "[girl I'm avoiding] loves you."

  I stood there for about ten seconds, with no clue what to say. I didn't even know this girl at the register and didn't know she knew that other girl either. It was so casual the way she said it too, like it was nothing and shouldn't have unnerved me the way it did. I guess I was just dumbfounded. I don't even think I made a coherent response to the girl. She added, "Not in a weird way." Maybe because she saw the look on my face. Instead of answering her, I just kinda said goodnight and left the store and spent most of the ride home shaking my head and sighing. I'm not even sure if I should believe this person, but I feel like I'm just accepting it as truth. Why would they tell me something like that? Am I naive about this? I really hope so, because I really just wish that all this hadn't happened between me and this girl. I went too far before I knew what I was getting into, and now I'm paying for it.

  If there's one thing I'm confident in in all this, it's that I don't want to be with this girl. There are too many reasons why it won't work and why I'll regret it forever if I do. I'm not even attracted to her like I was when I first met her. I feel like she must have caught me at a depserate time. In a perfect world, she would have stayed in Massachusetts (she temporarily moved there when the $hit at home just got to be too much, but supposedly it's better now...I'll give it a few months) and I would never have seen her again. I'm ready to move on. I want to. So when I don't always reply to her texts or lie and say I have plans when she wants to hang out does she not understand? Why would she still have feelings for me after having not seen me for months or really even talked to me? I know she told me about how she hooked up with a guy at some point (which, before anyone says anything, I'm totally cool with and am hoping for so that she can move on like I'm trying to). I know I'm the type to kinda sit around and think about stuff and people from the past for a while, but even I can learn to forget about something that I've had virtually no contact with for months. I feel like I can't tell her flat out that I don't want to be with you and then have to say why. But short of that, there doesn't seem to be anything I can do. And I am not going to deal with this crap all summer at work. If my internship was paid (oh how I wish), I would quit my job at the supermarket on the spot. But it's not, and I can't. I can't run and hide from her forever, and I understand that. I guess if I manage to get a girlfriend then that would send a message, but I'm not getting into a relationship just to get out of another one (if you can even call it that). My best hope right now is that I can ignore her long enough and eventually she'll get tired of it and move on. But I have a feeling that could be a ways away. Oh well.

  Sorry I dumped that on you guys. As I've said before, this blog is my way of getting stuff out that I'm not always comfortable talking about with people.

  I should probably go to bed now. By the way, I have work tomorrow 3-7, and she's working 6-9 I think, and she'll be just two registers down from me. Great...another hour of awkward, half-assed, forced conversation just to get through 60 minutes. This place keeps getting better and better....See ya around.

  • Posted May 19, 2009 12:15 am PT
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• 9May 09

  "As I dream about movies...

  ...they won't make of me when I'm dead."

  Just a line from probably my current favorite song. No need to play the guessing game to try and figure it out; I just figured I should start off my first blog in almost 3 months with something completely unoriginal.

  So yeah. I'm not really sure why I haven't blogged in so long. I mean, it's not like more of nothing started happening back in February and that I've had less time to rant aimlessly or droll on about the NFL offseason (I actually have another blog for that but I don't even use it really at all anyway). Finals were done yesterday, and if all else works out, I'll have a Masters in two years. I also had an internship interview Friday for the NYSDOT (unpaid unfortunately) and that went pretty well. But in between all that, I was busy getting laid on a weekly basis and recently took up regular drinking and smoking a joint every once in a while. Yes, that last one was a horrible pretention and you should all know me better than that. I'd be the moron who couldn't put the condom on correctly even if I was completely sober and flaccid at the same time (not really, but you get my point).

  Do you ever spend those lonely nights going back and revisiting those old things you were hooked on as a kid? I know about a year or so ago my brother and I found some of those first Pokemon episodes and started watching them, and it's amazing how even still you get the goosebumps when Ash first catches his Caterpie, but now you're old enough to marvel at his stupidity when he sends it into battle against a Pidgeotto. Anyway, I (used to) enjoy the Sonic the Hedgehog video games back when GameCube was 50% of my life. I didn't get into it until about high school actually, so I never played anything before Adventure 2: Battle, but that quickly became a favorite of mine. I liked most of the characters and even wrote my college essay on how I felt like I had a lot in common with Knuckles the Echidna, my favorite character. Anyway, I had heard that they had made an anime series a few years ago called Sonic X, and it was based on a few of the games and had some original ideas to it. I started searching for it one night and found a few episodes and, as a 4Kids animated cartoon, you're expecting the immature themes and cheesy dialogue, and there was plenty of that. But still, I found myself going back and trying to find more episodes. Maybe it's because it's something I feel like I never got to see when I was younger and more into the whole Sonic thing. It's a lot like the Pokemon series (I say that because I feel like most of you can relate more to that) in that it's very corny at times but can be fun to watch if you're feeling about 10 or so years younger than you actually are. I feel like most people would privately admit (maybe only to themselves) that there's still an affection for those kinds of things that we never really let go (music is another one that I have). But because we live in a world where you're viewed as "weak" or "immature" if you still publicly like those things, people shy away from them in the open. I don't know, maybe I'm just hopeful and pretending that I'm not the only loser who still watches an episode of Sonic X every once in a while XD.

  Hopefully I'll be on the site a little more often now that school's out till August 31st, but the internship and by supermarket job that just won't go away might keep me busy enough. It's not that I "moved on" or anything stupid like that. I just have almost nothing to talk about almost all the time, except when the NFL is going on, at which point I can't shut up about it. I'm even trying to get the scoop from rookie friggin' minicamps this weekend. I'll just chalk that one up to hardcore fan dedication and pretend that I do have a life outside of watching football . Anyway, I gotta go watch the martial arts tournament episode of Sonic X. Not really, but I'm kinda tired. Well...maybe just this once . Catch ya later.

  • Posted May 9, 2009 10:49 pm PT
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• 19Feb 09

  Everything They Do

  I don't know if any of you actually watch Family Guy anymore, but I managed to catch the latest episode online Monday. If you haven't seen it, don't worry, you didn't miss much. But one joke they did was Stewie making a music video for his new love interest, Susie (Joe and Bonnie's newborn who was finally born after all these seasons). Anyway, it was to the song Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by Bryan Adams. Now I'm gonna be honest, I like that song. I know it's incredibly cheesy and made almost solely for use as a wedding song, but if I had a girlfriend, I would play that song to her if I knew how to play the piano or guitar and I would sing it to her if I could sing without cracking my own voice.

  But I didn't mind all that much when I saw Stewie doing the parody of the song on the show. Yeah, it went on far too long (everything but the first verse I think). But it was at least a shake-your-head funny kind of moment for ten seconds, which is about all I can ask for from Family Guy at this point. Maybe it was because I knew the song. Whatever. But what does bother me is when I go to watch an actual video of the song on YouTube and there are pages and pages of comments on it made in the last few days, all of them mentioning how they saw it on Family Guy or how Family Guy's version was better or, my favorite, that this song is now only famous because of Family Guy.

  I understand that Family Guy has this ability to revive old pop culture articles and make them popular again with the younger generations because they saw the show use it in a joke. But the way some people think, it's as if NO ONE knew these songs/movies/actors even existed until Family Guy used them to make people laugh (or sigh when they're supposed to laugh). Don't be ignorant and desecrate these songs or movies or whatever they might be by putting Family Guy above them and saying that it was only because of Family Guy that everyone even knows about it. Believe it or not, a lot of people don't shut themselves out to everything besides Family Guy and actually know about pop culture without Family Guy feeding it to them in some twisted way. And actually, you (and Seth MacFarlane) can thank Bryan Adams and the Trashmen and any other artists that Family Guy "makes popular". If it weren't for these people who produce songs or movies didn't make things that "no one's ever heard of", Family Guy (your source of pop culture if you believe in those idiotic ideas) would not exist. So you should go ahead and put Everything I Do above Family Guy, unless you hold a belief that the world, in fact, created God, as opposed to the opposite (for the record, I don't believe in either, but it sounded like a good metaphor when I thought of it 30 seconds ago). And I thought I lived in a shell....

  Isn't it pathetic that I'm blogging about some comments on YouTube, probably made by some 15- year-old whose never even heard of Bryan Adams? Oh well. I should probably get back to my HW. Later.

  • Posted Feb 19, 2009 5:48 pm PT
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