Hello everyone. First blog for a while. Not much to say....thanks to Glenn for helping make sure that our community's voice is heard.

Not seen Ian. He's been on his holidays to...Sunny sarajevo. I think he might be back, tho I haven't heard from him.

I've done many blogs on the coming out process. I found this on my unions website, I think it's rather good!

...how wonderful I think all these at changes tv.com are. However, I would not be telling the truth! Tv.com no longer has that homely feel it once had, at least not for me, and these changes only seem to reinforce this perception.

This weekend (Friday), saw my second date with a chap called Ian. He is an accountant, though I am trying not to hold that against him. On the plus side he is a Liverpool supporter. On the down side, I feel (slightly) that I'm Monica and he's Chip Matthews. Friends fans will understand the reference. Anyway, we went for an Italian at a local restaurant, which was nice. On Wednesday he is taking me to his local for a drink.

David stayed Saturday night, and on Sunday we went to the movies again. This time we went to see Pineapple Express. I rather enjoyed this one, though the joke did wear a tad thin towards the end. I had to visit the bathroom three times, I think I need to smuggle in less cola!

Hope everyone's weekend went well!

David and I went to see this movie this afternoon. I would say it would definately appear in my top 5 WORSE movies I have seen. I think I cringed twice, but laughed never. Quite awfull.

Good News. David's condition was, as I expected, exagerated by his mother. It turns out his legs are growing much faster than his muscles, so he may need an operation. But long term, he is fine.

Sorry to see Lin go. The way she went seems to prove the point that some folks don't place any real value in on line friendships. I did consider leaving myself, after recent events, but I still care about folk here so I am staying, though I may be around less.

Hope you all have had a decent weekend.

Thanks everyone, for your kind words and support,

I am so happy to say that the test showed no signs of any HIV in my blood. I am negative....

I just hope and pray that Joey gets the same news,

Hugs and some of Greta's cookies. (I don't Greta will mind, just this once)

*Hugs to you all and a prayer for Joey.

X

...will be ready at 5PM! Feeling very nervous. Though I am told I am at low risk....so fingers crossed.

My own HIV test is tomorrow morning at 10AM, L&D GUM clinic.

Not sure how long the results take.....but will let you all know.

Miles

The truth is - he is a wonderful , caring, sensitive man.

I am sorry for my last blog, I was hurt.

Everything Joey said about me was true. I do act strange at times. I just wanted someone to love me for who I am, and I just wanted to do the same in return.

I am hurt by what Neil said. I offered him nothing but friendship, he even showed me his model Dalek. What was he trying to accomplish, by adding Joey to Facebook, after all these years?

I won't go on. I am sorry, very sorry. I have sent Joey a PM, I don't know if he will read it.

I read Joey's blog 5 minutes before I was called into an emergency meeting. The meeting got heated and I started to cry! In the end, I was sent home and told to come back after the August bank holiday.

My first online experience in the late 80's led to my second sexual experience. This also led to my best friend for life and my ex-wife.

My dad had bought a modem for my Commodore 64. His intention was for him to play online games, but I found the original Cnet or Compunet!

Compunet was wonderful! There were games like MUD, FEDeration and Realm. There was also clubs like CCC - The Compunet Computer Club and the ICC - The Independent Compunet Club. I joined CCC, and became their Monday night reviewer for a while. This involved just writing reviews of the day's activity. It also meant me spending hours and hours online, which used make my mum mad as dad was working in London and could never get through on the 'phone.

I became quite involved with Cnet; some of us even went down to London to meet the management team and see the operation. I spent a week in London one year at a computer show, at Earls Court, and helped run the Cnet stand. One of the users (PETER Newcombe) kindly paid my expenses for the week - he gave me £100,

There was also Partyline; A chat room, which cost £1 an hour to chat. In this chat room I met JT7. Now JT7 (real name Jean) was an older woman who lived in Leeds. We became quite friendly, spending many hours each night in a private chat room. This seemed to annoy other users, especially a user called -Dicey-, who used to bombard our room with entry requests.

Many of us became friendly with the EDITOR, Peter Hardcastle. Peter was quite cool. He used to send out porn videos to his friends. I asked him one night, in Pline, (just out of interest) if he had any gay porn. He sent me a tape. I tried telling him that I was just curious, but I don't think he bought it. Later, after I got married, PETER rang me. He remarked that he was pleased for me, but obviously confused. I didn't know what he meant, but I guess the EDITOR wasn't quite as discreet as he might have been.

After a while, JT7 (later JEAN) and me - RN11 (later PLODDER) decided to meet. So I drove all the way to Leeds one afternoon. I was quite shocked what happened next. As I walked into her kitchen, she literally jumped on me. She pushed me against the kitchen wall and kissed me in a way I have never been kissed before, or since. It was quite scary; I could barely breathe.

Then we went upstairs...I dived onto the computer and immediately logged onto Cnet. As I scoured the online activity, JT7 unzipped my pants and started to masturbate me. Not quite what I was expecting. Anyways as I came, I heard a noise downstairs...I tell her I think you have someone in your house! She says don't worry that'll be my husband; we're separated, but we still live together!!

Anyways, Jean and I carried on meeting for a few months. Sometimes we met in her Leeds home and sometimes in a horrible hotel in Manchester called "The Montrose". I guess this could have been my opportunity to lose my virginity. But I didn't know what to do, or really have the inclination I guess. I remember her saying one night - "You've moved it away!" I was desperately trying to think of where I should put it! I didn't want to her know that this 20 something really didn't know what to do with a woman. That was the closest I got, although I did have my first taste of the furry cup! Not a nice memory!

Anyways, one night she revealed that she was late with her period and that she might be pregnant. I said you can't be - we haven't done anything that could make you pregnant. She disagreed....that stuff gets around you know, she tells me. She assured me that she would have an abortion, if she was indeed pregnant. Perhaps I was naive, but I was appalled, how could you get rid of a baby just because it's inconvenient? We had a massive row. In the end, she informed me that she was not pregnant, and our friendship was over.

By now Cnet was dying, which had started even before I joined. Many of the demo writers had stopped writing demos, and there was less and less for me to review. The local nodes were often down, which was one of the reasons for our meet with the management team. They blamed Istel - the provider. It turns out it was Istel, but only because Cnet hadn't been paying the bill. After a while Istel pulled the plug. There was an attempt to get a new provider, but it didn't last. Now the only way to get online was through a long distance 'phone call. Cnet's days were numbered.

As my online time grew, so did my 'phone bill. It was reaching around £300 a quarter. So I had to get another job. I started working weekends. For many years after this I would work Monday to Friday for the MOD, and Saturday/Sunday I would work at "Queensferry Service Station".

It was at this weekend job, that I met Lisa and Paul (Doddy)....

..and Joey's gift of the blog.

When I picked David yesterday, I couldn't help notice his walking seemed worse than ever. It was like he could barely bend his legs. I was quite shocked - I asked his Mum what was going on.

She said his test results have shown he has Rheumatoid Arthritis in them. I really don't anything about this condition at all, but it doesn't sound good. He is worried he may not be able to walk when he is older. I really don't know what to say to the little lad, I could only hug him.

Today I took him to the cinema - we went to see Space Chimps. Not the best movie I have ever seen. Then I took him home and sadly watched him hobble away. He is on meds, which I assume must be some sort of muscle relaxant. I don't know though, I really have been kept in the dark. Perhaps I deserve that, since I have seen so little of him this year.

My Mum is coming to see me tomorow - I have my work cut out trying to make this place look half decent.

Have a good week.

Batman was AWESOME!

That's it!

Have a good week.

Firtst things, first! Thanks to everyone for the kind comments on my last blog! You should know that I no longer have the plastic aligator.

I'm not a complete angel, I' ve been with other guys just was never very intimate.

Before the Lisa night, I used to go out with my mate. I was trying to chat to girls, without really knowing how. He very often used to go with one of them, and he was married. When I came out to him the other day, I told him that I kind of felt jealous (then) how easy he related to girls, when I didn't. But then I also said, that tho i thought a lot of him, I didn't always think he was a very nice person. He just grinned. I'd forgotten how bad I felt the day his wife (and son) came to pick him one morning and he was upstairs with some young employee of his. I had to delay his wife while Paul got rid of her. He later sacked her, as she was too close to home. I nearly hated him for that. It's all coming back to me now. She felt so used. She came back for her stuff soon after. I felt sorry for her and took her out for a drink in our local. We got so drunk, we ended up going to back to the house and shaved each other heads! I may not have had the same type of fun as he had, but we had fun! Tho I wasn't attacted to her at all, and she was so young anyway, she seemed very sweet and a good laugh.

I'm hoping to go and see Batman tomorrow, tho Lisa hasn't decided if I can see David, as they "have plans".

Work is a nightmare. I have lots of spreadsheets to complete, giving details of all my applications. All this info is being provided to contractors so they can bid for our work. I feel like a turkey preparing for Christmas!

The security guys have complained that I have too many smoke breaks....they don't like having to get up and let me out of the building. Poor things...

Corrie....Tyrone finally proposed to Molly. That was so awesome...I rememeber when they crashed the burger van! Apart from that Corrie is boring at the moment; I hate the Steve and Michelle story line. Steve used to be great as "Jack the lad", but he's just a scum bag liar now, imo.

I was surprised that Rebecca was voted off Big Brother last night. I thought it was gonna be Darnell; he made such a mess of being HOH. I did think Rebecca acted for the camera more than anyone. It does seem that girls who get their jugs out a lot get voted out early! Tho i guess she has lasted 7 weeks. Remember the girl (large jugs!) who got voted out in week 1 a few years ago, and ended up in BB Australia!

Becky goes

Have a good weekend.

As Andy correctly guessed, this was the song Lisa and I were listening to on the evening of 24th November 1991.

These are the days of our lives

She had been going through a bad divorce, andI helped her with the paperwork. Now this was finished, she made me a meal to say thanks. Gammon and eggs. We were both sad, as we were BIG Queen fans. We had some drinks and she got the wrong idea. I didn't know what to do! It was fairly obvious too, as she became impatient as I lay on the bed fully dressed....

Anyways, we had sex, or she had sex with me really. This was the night I lost my virginity at the age of 26. After that I felt I couldn't walk away, I was woried she would feel used. I have never revealed this before, to anyone, 'cos I always kind of felt ashamed. Indeed, even now, I've only had elective full sex with 3 people. Two women (the second being just about the worst experience of my life!), and one man.

So you see, I guess I'm a little......I dunno...something, pathetic?

Good evening to you all.

for the worse, as it happened.

Just watching my fave show of the moment, Don't forget the lyrics. For some reason , it made me think of a song from years ago, and the (crazy) events that were triggered.

The date was 24th November 1991.

Can anyone guess what happened, the song and what followed?

Less than a week until The Dark Knight!

'evening...

Just a quicky...ending up going to see WAL E! It was rather good...the human race lives on a ship and Earth is uninhabitable. The story is all about the relationship between two robots. Very touching and humorous stuff . Well it touched me anyway.

In a way, this movie reminded me of one of my favourite 70's flicks.....Silent Running. Anyone else remember this one?

Have a good Monday!

Miles.