I don't blog much. When I do, it's usually trivial in nature.

• 24Nov 09

  PC Gaming Smoke and Mirrors

  So, as one could imagine, even with the realization that the cost of a new computer is spectacularly expensive, the idea that I was able t play more modern PC games was an exciting tidbit, especially with the holiday season looming. I had nothing really that I wanted to the holidays on my list, which people had pestered me over for weeks now, so I figured I'd do some hunting.

  Hey! I loved Dawn of War, and I heard the sequel is ok, even if it's a bit buggy. But then I checked more into it and I crossed it off my list.

  Hey! I LOVED Rome: Total War, I missed out on Medieval 2TW, but Empire: Total War looked astonishing! But then I checked up on it and eventually crossed it off as well.

  Hey! I heard from a couple of friends that Last Remnant is a fun game, and it's relatively cheap at my local shop! Seems like a sweet deal, but after checking into it, I crossed it off my list too.

  Why did I cross those games off my list? Because they require Steam.

  I hate Steam(the program, not the vaporized water) and everything that it stands for.

  It, most of all, is DRM, which I believe is wholly uncecessary. It acts as middle man bloatware that takes up valuable memory capacity. On my new system, it wouldn't be a problem, but on my old PC, Steam(regardless of what they state is false, and I wish I still had the screenshots to prove it) was a memory hog that brought Half-life 2 to a crawl. It would start ok, but then steam would build and build and build until my PC crashed. This was a long time ago when steam was closer to its infancy than now, but that was unacceptable and the fact that Steam gets updates that cause INCREASES in system requirements for games, and frees itself from all liabilities regarding gameplay and access of content/service, it's a huge double-fister waiting in the wings, ready to breach sphincter at any moment.

  It tells users when, if, and how they can access the concent they purchased, even if said content is stored on their hard-drives(their personal property). Steam could deny my request to play a videogame I paid for whenever it deems it necessary. Instead of increasing the quality and amount of serers available to meet demand, they demand you just sit tight and wait X amount of hours to play whatever game you desire to, because you're accessing their precious services.

  You require internet to play your games offline(or at least, you did when I had it, and judging from troubles people had with Empire:Total War, it still holds true). In order for a computer to be able to validate a steam account it used to have to connect online, even if the account was made to be run in offline mode on a separate internet-connected computer beforehand. If this still holds true, that sucks. If it doesn't, it would likely still require you to transfer that library of files from the online connected computer to your new, non-online connected PC(one thing I have heard in the pro-steam discussions). Either way, getting a game validated on steam without an internet connection is unecessarily annoying, out of the way, and frustrating.

  Their customer service is/was terrible, not providing any support past whatever they deem basic, before claiming something is wrong on the user's end. POP QUIZ Valve, when you make a gateway service to access games through, you develop it to run as simple as possible, and to automatically assess system security so as to ease the trouble of connecting to Steam! How is the average user supposed to know how to do port-forwarding? How is the average user supposed to know that they have to delve into .ini files to hand-code in workarounds? I'm experienced enough with computers and networking, so it's no real skin off my teeth, but most people aren't, and would more easily give up and return the game. BUT WAIT! if they've already registered the activation code in Steam(which they would have in attempts to get it working), there's no point returning the game because no one else can ever use that activation code ever again! BRILLIANT!

  I could keep going on about my burning hatred for Steam, and how no matter if you're installing via disc, it'll still prefer to eat up your bandwidth and download whatever it wants to until you slap it on the wrist, cancel the install, delete the local cache, and start the install over(at least, those are my experiences with how it ran...I had to pay my parents an extra $20 for going over the bandwidth limit from Steam auto-updating HL2, CS:S and all that jazz after my first install). Maybe in countries where there are no bandwidth limits, it would be fine, but many countries have caps. Canada does for the most part unless you pay a premium for it.

  Give me Securom before Steam. At least it's passive and just sits there in the cornerdoing nothing. Sure, it doesn't really tell you it's going there, and it's batcrap hard to get rid of, but it doesn't do anything(well, it didn't do anything to my old computer that had it) and didn't prevent me from playing Bioshock(well, eventually I realized my system, which was barely under the min requirements, couldn't play it efficiently enough). Sure, it had limited installs, but I could have just called them up to tell them I'd uninstalled it due to a HDD reformat and they'd give me one back. No biggie.

  So yeah, here I was, checking out some rad-awesome games, only to be thoroughly disappointed that they require Steam to access them. There's a reason I buy valve games for console only now, and that's to avoid Steam at all costs. I don't care about the friends lists, or chat program built in it. MSN Messenger does that better. I don't care about online multiplayer. If I want to play with friends I LAN or P2P, nothing else, unless it's an MMORPG or something. Playing with strangers is entirely useless in my books. No point in it aside from maybe getting a better challenge than AI if you're lucky, and even then there's a good chance the user's using some cheat/hack.

  I'll probably try Medieval 2: Total War as it doesn't require steam, and it's rather cheap with all the expansions these days. I'll avoid DoW2 and go straight for something like World in Conflict, or maybe stick to my current Surpreme Commander gaming setup. I'll avoid Last Remnant, nothing I know that could take its spot, really, but that's their loss of a sale for using such a terrible infrastructure.

  So much promise, only to be let down when you do some research and realize how it works. Just like a magic trick.

  I'll leave you with some songs I've been listening to lately:

  "Nightshift" - The Commodores(such a smooth song)
  "Kerosine"-Big Black
  "Ocean" - John Butler Trio
  
  

  and this gem.

  Have a good one guys, I'm lagging behind on my YIR but I'm trying to catch up. Lost a lot of ground due to the computer being down.

  • Posted Nov 24, 2009 11:15 pm PT
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• 9Nov 09

  Bought a new PC

  The parts are on order.

  Case: Antec P183
  Motherboard: MSI 790X-GD70
  CPU: AMD Phenom II 955BE
  Video Card: XFX Radeon 5770
  Memory: Mushkin 4GB DDR3 1600 RAM 7-7-6-18
  HDD: Western Digital SE16 Blue 640GB
  PSU: Seasonic X-650 Gold
  Heatsink: Noctua U12P
  OS: Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium Edition 64BIT
  Fans:
  (a) 2x Scythe S-FLEX SFF21E 120MM
  (b) 1x Noctua NF-P12-1300 120MM
  (c) 1x Noctua NF-S12B FLX 120MM

  Total after taxes and shipping and such: $1439.48

  I called in some outstanding debts to be able to afford a bit more than my previous budget, and I'm glad with the quality of parts I got. I'm pretty excited, especially about the PSU, but that part is on backorder, I don't know when it will ship or get in stock. So it's a mystery as to when I can do anything.

  I got a side, one-off web-job building a website. It's gonna be small, won't yield me much, but it will be good to get into the swing of things again.

  I may as well add in some hints about my YIR2009 that I've been slowly(slowly like molasses) building. Here are some tracks that I've been impressed by lately:

  I Quit Girls
  60 Feet Tall
  Mature Fantasy

  I'll get back to you all with a better update than this. I'm pretty bored.

  • Posted Nov 9, 2009 2:08 pm PT
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• 3Nov 09

  Expletive Maine

  Question 1 in Maine has repealed same-sex marriage.

  I swear, if Obama doesn't end up repealing DOMA, this may be the first time a democrat has been in presidency and not only unable to allow equal rights to same sex couples(as he stated he would attempt to do), but to have numerous high-coverage losses in the equality movement(Prop 8, Maine's Q1, and the upcoming Connecticut and Massachusetts bills that will soon be proposed so as to take advantage of this current momentum).

  Sorry for you Americans out here, but I chalk this up as one reason my country is better than yours. We accept. We may not like some things, but so long as they do not infringe on our rights and freedoms, we let people choose their own destiny. It's called tolerance, and no amount of words or stories can help many areas in the USA in that regard. It also doesn't help when people play on fear and lies to propel people into voting for something they don't truly undeerstand(however, it's people's own fault if they fall for those stupid Yes on 1 ads and their fallacious claims).

  This news, right on the heels of victory as one of my friends was finally cleared in an agonizing court battle that's left him stranded in house curfew for a year and away from his home and friends. Tonight was supposed to be a night to celebrate, instead it just depresses me.

  • Posted Nov 3, 2009 11:44 pm PT
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• 1Nov 09

  My PC is rather dead

  So I was writing a hueg post when my bro's PC crashed(the one I'm using off and on while I wait for parts to come in or whatnot), so I'll keep it a bit shorter this time. My PC is dead; there are some toasted capacitors on the mobo, and after a long string of part failures in the past, this finally did it in. RIP Lazycakes.

  So I need a new one now. I have money set aside for it, so it's not that huge of a deal, but I'd hoped it woul d last until after xmas because it would be better financially that way. However, it didn't so I suppose I need to do it now.

  I've done some heavy research and have found some parts I really like, but as always, there are some key components I'm not sure of.

  I'll lay out the parts I'm seriously looking at here, with some other ideas in case I need to cut prices:

  PSU:
  A) Seasonic X-650 Gold ($200)
  b) Antec Truepower New 750 ($130)
  c) Corsair TX-750 ($120)

  Graphics Card:
  A) Any Radeon 5770 model ($170-195)
  b) A Radeon 5850 model, but I'd need to cut costs elsewhere ($305-335)
  c) I keep my current undamaged 7600GT for now. ($0)

  RAM:
  A) Mushkin Blackline 4GB(2x2GB) DDR3 1600 ($134)
  b) Gskill 4GB(2x2GB) DDR3 1600 ($93)
  c) Something comparable that I haven't listed that you recommend

  Case:
  A) Antec P183 ($135)
  b) I keep my Antec SLK3800 case and hope it's good enough. ($0)

  HDD:
  A) Western Digital Caviar Blue 640GB ($60-70)

  Those parts are solid. I'm aiming for a quiet, efficient machine, that's upgradeable, so those all work. Now, I can, as you can see, keep some current parts and still have it functional...the obvious choice being my case(as wonky as it is, it works).

  I haven't listed processors because that's what I'm stuck on. Do I go AM3 and low-cost as AMD is probably going to support AM3 for a few more years(two, probably), or do I look at Intel's 1366 line that's very very very expensive? I don't think I could take a 1156 chipset simply because they're already being phased out(unless you have proof otherwise).

  So that's the decision I have to make. Do I go for an AMD build, or an Intel build? I'll do some cost comparisons:

  AMD Processor: AMD Phenom II X4 955 BE ($180-210)
  AMD Motherboard: MSI 790FX GD70 ($180)

  Intel Processor: Intel Core i7-920 ($310)
  Intel Motherboard: GIGABYTE GA-EX58-UD3R ($210)

  If 1156 is supposed to stick around(and not have incompatible revisions like 1156B and 1156C) then I'll definitely consider that chipset because it looks mighty fine, but as is I think I'll be going AMD for my money's sake.

  So hard to make decisions like this quickly.

  • Posted Nov 1, 2009 11:24 am PT
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• 29Oct 09

  It's nearly over

  2009, I mean. It's almost November, and that's not awesome at all.

  I mean, hockey has started up again(which is nice), but aside from that, it's spiraling into my least enjoyed season. Days are getting colder and colder and soon there will be snow. Halloween is coming up and while I like seeing my friends who are down to visit, I don't really have a costume and I don't really feel the costuming aspect of the holiday this year. I'll probably pull something cheap or whatever. I just hope no one takes any jabs at me like what happened at scary movie night last week. The last thing I need is to be put on the defense about SRS surgery and how it's just as qualified for provincial funding as numerous other conditions and should not be classified as cosmetic. One person brought it up in the middle of "Thirt33n Ghosts"(or however you spell it) with a small quip and I came off as a jerk defending it while everyone was trying to watch a movie. Twas not too great, that's for sure, although I do hope it wasn't an intentional dig, and was just due to lack of knowledge on the issue.

  This might be the last winter my computer sees, as well. My hard drive(going on 9 years) is vibrating like a hobo on crack, and my PSU is getting overloaded more often lately. It's a beast of a computer, and has lasted me a fair while, but I'd much rather not fork out $1k on a new one. I will if I have to, though, and I'll spend the money to make the computer future proof this time instead of using old technology that will become hard to find and expensive rather quick. DX11 graphics card(probably a 5770), AM3 mobo and CPU(intel's are great too, but more expensive it seems), or whatever. I'll probably do what I had hoped to do last time around, and build a rather silent PC. Wouldn't allow for OCing much but would be worth it in the future.

  I'm still jobless. Did a freelance project two weeks ago, just a small media package(logo, business card, email newsletter) that I did for free. I've been trudging away at my portfolio but I haven't made a lot of progress. Fall has never been my most creative of seasons. I'm still sending resumes out there, but not many places are hiring. Haven't had many interviews. Mayhaps I'll just go for retail and get one of those holiday-rush jobs and hope it sticks, but at the same time i don't want to live where I'm living anymore. Moving closer to Toronto would be cool...Ottawa would be good too.

  At least I'm progressing on my year-ending music list. I figure I'll do a 2009 in review list, and then push out a decade in review by February or something. The real trouble in that one will be reviewing 2000-2003 when I wasn't doing much in the music scene. *shrug*

  Anywho, just a very sleepy morning for me. Haven't been sleeping well and it's definitely been showing in my energy levels and my ability to function.

  A pair of songs to leave you with today, I might blog later. Who knows? Depends on if I go out.

  The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition

  ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Isis Unveiled

  Ok, ok, I'll link two more funnier videos. Lightening up the mood

  Nicolas Cage's ridiculous Pachink commercials

  Interesting take on 'Creeping Death'

  Have a good afternoon and evening everyone!

  • Posted Oct 29, 2009 10:03 am PT
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• 1Oct 09

  Fantasy Hockey

  Got some openings in my league if you want to try your hand at it. Teams are already built, but all teams are pretty solid and the worst available one finished 12th of 18, which isn't too rough(the top available team finished 4th).

  PM me if you want in

  Aside from this little notice, not much going on. I'll make a new blog post soon enough once I have something to talk about.

  Oh, and did anyone see Roy Nelson embarrass Kimbo Slice last night? Two crucifixes...how is it even possible? XD

  • Posted Oct 1, 2009 8:00 pm PT
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• 21Sep 09

  Decisions

  I've decided some things:
  ---------------------------------

  1. The Protomen are very good. Very cheesy (as they're a concept band that makes music about a Mega-Man alternate universe), but after hearing their newest album, I can't help but claim that they've got some serious skills. One of their singers(they have so many vocalists) has a Springsteen-esque voice that perfectly fits the narrative in the lyrics and really brings out the atmosphere that builds throughout the story(all their albums are concept albums, and the new one especially flows as such). There are some times when it gets too cheesy even for me (2:21 through "The State Vs. Thomas Light" really ruins everything)

  Check their stuff out: Light Up The Night, The Hounds, Breaking Out, Keep Quiet

  2. I'm going to rebuild my website again, because I can. I plan on it being awesome.

  3. Squirrels are nefarious creatures. One got into my dad's garage and ruined a bunch of stuff like windows and walls and doors and nearly anything leather on my dad's motorcycle, not to mention fine scratches all over the bike and the car. I have no idea what happened to that squirrel, but when my dad went in there to survey the damage, it was still there, and now he's gone and borrowed a squirrel/small animal trap from a neighbour in case it happens again. Honestly, I can imagine it'd be pretty scary for a squirrel to be stuck in a garage for a few hours, but I can also see the damage it caused(I could maybe see some insulation being pulled out and chewed on, or some paneling on a window torn off or something, but it did a number in there. Everything was everywhere and plenty was ruined, and there's no such thing as squirrel insurance. I suppose the consequences of such would be akin to going into a bear's nest and disturbing its cubs, let's just say.

  4. This year is going to be painful for my brother and his New England Patriots. The last Pats game I watched was the championship game against the Giants, and I widely criticized New England's terrible defensive line, citing them as the main reason the Pats lost that game. It's amazing to see that after that length of time, they still haven't shored that area up much(at least, from the level of play and sloppiness I saw). Not to mention the penalties taken by the Pats throughout the last game were far too many. Brady doesn't seem 100% yet, he's got layers of rust to shake off yet, so either the rest of the pats need to step up their game, or it's going to be a long season for me to endure. If it continues like this, I'm sure my brother will end up breaking another wall in the house.

  5. NHL 10 is a solid, solid game. Even if the equipment boosts are way too obscure to imagine getting, in some situations, basically giving you the option of paying for it, or playing for the next 3 years to get it.

  Anyways, this was just a bridge blog. I'll have another up soon enough.

  • Posted Sep 21, 2009 10:03 pm PT
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• 14Sep 09

  Back at it

  It's been a long time since I last blogged. Sorry to keep you all in the dark, I've been juggling job-hunting(I quit my old job due to my sheer hatred for it and the growing inability to keep my cool and not stress out), helping friends and family, and basically doing recreational things like thinking about my future and playing vidjagaemz.

  I somehow got a credit card, and I'm unemployed now, so it's not like I have incoming funds, so I haven't used it much at all. To be honest, I haven't spent much money lately on anything aside from necessities.

  It's been over a year since I came out to my parents, and my initial goal has nearly been completed(raise cash for transition, have steady job, inform friends of transsexuality). I've got parts 1 and 3 done, so if I can get a steady job, I'll be fine to progress forward a lot faster than I am now. I've seen a therapist a few times, but none are the proper type that can sign off a letter so I can get hormones. The nearest unbooked one is in Toronto, and I'm not totally sure how I'll be able to manage that without moving someplace. I'll work on that.

  My dad has been pressing me towards either going back to school(read: I'd lose the funds I've worked hard to gain), or go into the military(read: I'd have to wait at least 5 or 6 years before I could commit to them for 25+ more years so they would cover my transition costs...not gonna happen, I'll lose my twenties even more than I will at present).

  Truth is, I'm not totally sure I want to do web design as a career. Do I enjoy it? YES. When I get full control on the project, and when I get a creative burst. When that situation isn't happening though, I tend to slam on the brakes and find myself tiring of my efforts to get the project off the ground.

  So what then? Well. There's the school idea that scares me to crap, but it offers me some options. I've always found the idea of teaching to be entertaining, especially english classes(I'd more or less aim for high school, but college would be cool as well, in English Lit), but Psychology would be radical as well. As would graphic design as it entails a lot of theory and marketing in the course(something I tend to lack). A teacher would be cool, but transsexual teachers(face it, someone would eventually complain) wouldn't fly with conservative Canada. Although who knows what the future holds?

  Anywho, enough about that. I've been hanging with friends lately and it's amazing how the descent into bitterness can start and finish so quickly, and spread so amazingly fast. So many of my friends have just tailspun into a state of being constantly annoyed and spiteful, and it takes great lengths to unwind them and loosen them up. Well, great lengths, or booze(which I'd prefer they not use as a crutch, for obvious reasons). Still, most of my friends are doing well, and I'm happy with that. A lot of them have their own struggles and crisis they need to overcome, and they all(hopefully) know I'm there for them if ever they need me, much like i know they'll be there for me. I just want this winter to come so a lot of those strugles will likely be over with by then.

  Music-wise, I've had a quiet summer. I was just so tired of jumpijng into so many new bands over the past 12 months that I just needed a break, and now I'm fresh again and ready for the final quarter rush. Matthew Good is releasing a new album and has it streaming from his website. I've listened to 3 or 4 songs(well, the first 3 or 4, because it's not separated by tracks), and it sounds like a more active, upbeat 'Avalanche'.
  I've also been into a plethora of other albums right now(not all were released in this year, of course), such as Bill Callahan's "Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle", White Rabbits' "Fort Nightly", Friendly Fires' self titled, Air France's "No Way Down", Bibio's "Ambivalence Avenue", Camera Obscura's "My Maudlin Career", Timber Timbre's self-titled (yes, still), Ghostland Observatory's "Paparazzi Lightning", Lightning Dust's self titled, The Horrors' "Primary Colours"(mainly due to the opening track, which redeems them for their atrocious last album), Long Distance Calling's "Avoid the Light", and The Constantines' "Kensington Heights". I've still got plenty on my to-buy list, and I'm sure I missed a bunch that released over te past months, so please give me some recommendations on stuff from this year if you can. Well-known or not, send'em because I have no idea what's popular and what isn't aside from obvious ones(any disney related performer, folk like beyonce, jay z, rihanna, nickelback, etc.).

  I got my friends to watch Lost Highway with me a few weeks back, and it was a stunning success. The first half, they were all cracking jokes at the characters and what was going on, but as the puzzle started to come together they grew silent, and at the very end, there was a unanimous decision that the movie was excellent. I was surprised, but it's a great movie, so I'm glad they tried it.

  Hrm. Hockey is starting soon. I'll probably blog on that at a later date once training camp is over.

  So I suppose I'll see you guys soon! I'll try to catch up on your blogs

  • Posted Sep 14, 2009 10:48 pm PT
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• 18Jun 09

  Rock Band, Tears, Music, and Warhammer stuffs

  So I got the 360 with Re5, Rock Band, Virtua Fighter 5, etc. on saturday. My RE5 disc isn't working(hasn't ever, so far), so I'm going to return that disc, and get a replacement one, but aside from that it's been great. I've been slowly improving in VF5, taking turns between my regular Pai, and a side character in El Blaze. I'm still pretty slow in my timing, but I'll get better at it.

  Rock band though....man. I've played that so much. To the point where I've worked from easy drums up to hard, which I think is pretty decent. I did find out that in tour mode, if you get too many fans, you get locked out of certain difficulties, and we(a bunch of freinds and I) had to do a huge monstrously difficult setlist on hard mode (culminating in Colony of Birchmen, and Boddhisatva) which ruined us. luckily I had a buddy take over for me on drums for most of that setlist as I was out of my league as it went on. It kinda of sucked because a few of them weren't good enough at the game yet to do hard mode on anything, so they were stuck watching. So, note to self: fail a bunch of tour mode before bringing it to a friend's place.

  I got some new music too: Veckatimest(Grizzly Bear), Mezzanine(Massive Attack) and Arrivals(worriedaboutsatan). All very great CDs. I was surprised about the delivery time on Arrivals, because there was only 2 or 3 days between me ordering it and getting it in the mail...which is amazing since I ordered it from the UK.

  I play Warhammer, I have a witch hunters army. I won't pretend to be really good, and my force is rather limited to infantry(I have no tanks, ordinance, or honestly anything with a blast template except an orbital strike), yet I've somehow(through massive luck) wound up winning 5 games straight. I keep waiting to lose, but I don't, somehow. In one on one gaes, I lose, but lately it's just been team battles and 4-way free for alls. Everyone seems to avoid attacking me for some odd reason :S No one considers me a threat until we pull out the scorecards at the end of the round(or in some cases, until they realize my army is still intact and everyone else's in in shambles). I'm sure they'll come around, and when they do I'll have to adapt somehow. I honestly think it's kind of funny.

  ...and finally, tears. Indie made a rad new blog and I'mma follow suit on it. I'm not going to lie and say a lot of things make me cry, because that's not true. I have opened up a lot emotionally over the past few years though, and within that frame of time(and a select few outside it) there are are number of events that have had my eyes welling with tears.

  Movies:

  
  The Fountain

  This movie was impeccably touching and sad, and actually reversed my opinion on Hugh Jackman's acting abilities. I won't spoil it for anyone, but to be brutally honest I couldn't watch this in one go, it was just far too much(although what I did, in spreading it across two days, had me randomly tearing up at work because it was all fresh in my mind). It's rare to find a relationship so real and concentrated with love, and it's an absolutely riveting movie to watch that had me weeping from about 10 minutes in. A story about life, death, and bridge between the two. A magnificently beautiful movie that shot perfectly and has perfect accompanying music that upon hearing, gets my eyes welling up again. If there's truly one thing this movie did for me, it was re-establish my take on death. There are tears of joy and tears of sadness in this movie, and if you've seen this, I'm sure you'll understand which scenes fall into which category.

  Music:

  There's been plenty of music that's drained me dry over the years, but I'll list a few here(not in order of tearjerkery).

  Tom Waits: "Anywhere I Lay my Head"

  The sheer honesty in the vocals, combined with the backing horns and such, just tear my heart strings out and restring them on their basses.

  Regina Spektor: "Samson"

  It's actually a pretty basic love song, detailing an old story, but there's just this aura of honesty about the song, and that little bit of urgency/desperation in her voice near the end just seals the deal.

  Explosions in the Sky: "Your Hand In Mine"

  Self explanatory if you've ever heard the song. It's too beautiful. I heard it live and I couldn't consciously do anything for the entire duration, except leak from my eyes.

  Radiohead: "Motion Picture Soundtrack"

  This song was my lullaby at night for a year when things weren't going all that well in high school. It still resonates to this day, with hope and its heavenly soothing sounds.

  Eluvium: "Underwater It Glowed"

  Another song I heard live, which blew me away. It's still among my favourite ambient works of all time, and it still gives me shivers. Hearing it live, the sheer aura of its climax had my eyes welling up. The studio version just can't compare, but it can keep that wonderful memory alive.

  Anywho, have a great night, all. I'm much too late right now and I've got to get prepared for tomorrow's work shift.

  • Posted Jun 18, 2009 8:52 pm PT
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• 11Jun 09

  It's getting hot

  Honestly, my room is sitting at about 30C right now. Which is ridiculous.

  I've been saving money like mad lately, and I figure I can mayhaps afford something for myself. So I've got to break it down a little in terms of cost. This coming paycheque plus my current bank amount will be good enough, so I'm thinking it'll be one of these combos:

  Option(A):
  -Xbox 360 Pro ($270-300)
  -Rock Band 2 SE Box ($190)
  -Virtua Fighter 5 ($15-20 apparently)
  -Rock Band 1 game only ($25-30)
  -Music($60-ish)

  Option(B):
  -Save for an electronic drum kit(~$900).

  Option(C):
  -Buy **** tonnes of music($200) and save the rest

  Option(D):
  -Don't spend money for fun things, and put towards savings like a semi-rational person would do

  Option(E):
  -Keep saving and get a shiny new computer(~$1200)

  Option(F):
  -Warhammer Exorcist Tank($70) and Rhino tank($40-50)
  -Music($120)
  -Put rest in savings

  So those are my current options.

  By the way, I've been listening to more music and this year has been pretty solid so far. Indie, I ordered "Arrivals", although I missed out on the limited edition copy. Still, I'm excited. I ordered Veckitamest a while back and it should be in the store on Monday to pick up, which is good. I could have gone down to the HMV to pick it up for considerably less but that placed is a rank, miserable franchise that I wish would stop inhabiting the local mall. They're like the wal-mart of music stores.

  I've been working at getting people listening to The Antlers, Passion Pit, The Constantines, Bat For Lashes, Patrick Wolf, Lightning Dust, and Dredg lately, to mixed results. Some are willing to take a gander, some aren't, and some pretend that they're willing and zone out when the music hits until it stops in a mock-form of trying to win my approval or some crap. :S Whatever. I mean, when someone is all "Hey, have you heard 'X' album yet?" and I haven't I'll say "Nope". if I have, but I can't recall tracknames(something I fight with even with my favourite bands/artists) I'll tell them I like, say, "Track 3, the one with *insert part of the song here*".

  It's cool though. At least people are getting exposed to stuff.

  Here are some killer awesome tracks:

  Passion Pit - "Moth's Wings"
  Passion Pit - "Eyes As Candles"
  Dredg - "Same Ol' Road"
  John Frusciante - "Before the Beginning"
  Lightning Dust - "Highway"

  Aside from that, it seems I potentially have a job lined up. Let's hope it'll work out, so I can actually get out on my own and start doing things! XD Although I will sya lately I have been doing things...like getting ready for a fantasy hockey draft at the start of july, and researching into hockey prospects. Honestly, if any of you need a rundown on individual NHL teams and their current system, I can give you the low-down. Prospects are the one thing I tend to get right more than anything else, in the hockey world.

  Have a good one guys!

  • Posted Jun 11, 2009 5:53 pm PT
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• 19May 09

  and walking in that room when you had tubes in your arms

  ...those singing morphine alarms out of tune...

  Man, I spent a lot of money on music the other day. Like, $180 or so. It was my first trip in two months, and that WITHOUT getting Veckatimest(which I couldn't find). Good news is I got a lot of stuff I'd been looking for, so that's good. Finally picked up "Rumours" by Fleetwood Mac, which I've heard front to back numerous times prior but had never felt like I should be spending $28 on such an old, readily available CD. Then, lo and behold, it comes under a 2 for $20 sale! Hurray!

  Some highlights of the results of my spending spree:

  Antlers - "Kettering"
  Fleetwood Mac - "You Make Loving Fun"
  Miles Davis - "Kind of Blue" (I had this album before, but a freak accident killed it)
  Against Me! - "Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart"
  Bat For Lashes - "Glass"
  Metric - "Sick Muse"
  Constantines - "Our Age"

  I saw Star Trek. My final impression is that it was nothing like a Star Trek tv show, and only marginally resembled a star trek movie. They sacrificed quality character development that star trek built itself on, in exchange for a decent storyline that was well put together(and reminded me of a certain Alderaan incident in Star Wars, to be honest). The effects were great, the fights were ok, and the cameo was solid. It was all way too farfetched though, and a lot of the characters were gross exaggerations of what they once were...which is fine, I suppose, but Sulu should NEVER be a badass. And he was way badass. Not to mention the patchwork character development that only barely was pulled off(especially with the occasional poor writing that made things much worse than it could have been).

  Still, a decent movie, and the concept was ok and provided a legit blank slate. 7.5/10

  Anywho, I can't think of much else to say. Nothing much going on lately.

  Night, all!

  • Posted May 19, 2009 10:41 pm PT
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• 7May 09

  I let the right one in

  Well, maybe not, but I saw the movie yesterday, in all it's atrocious subtitles. What an excellent movie, especially how that train scene just finishes it off so well with the morse code message.

  Aside from that, I decided to watch The Fountain again tonight, and I made it halfway through before I couldn't see from the tears. I totally forgot how epically sad the movie is. D:

  And aside from that...there's not been a heck of a lot of activity in my life. I was thinking of seeing the Wolverine movie until I heard it was balls-terrible.

  Meh. That's just how it goes.

  Have a nice one.

  • Posted May 7, 2009 8:24 pm PT
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• 5May 09

  Someone climbed or jumped on my car

  Likely one of my drunken friends last night. I've told them time and time again that the car I drive is leased, and to be incredibly careful with it because any damage caused to it has to be fixed when it is returned. It HAS to be, and there's no lax checking over of the car, it's a fine-tooth comb kind of scrutiny, and if we missed something when it's returned we get charged up the butt for it.

  So one of my friends jumped/climbed on the back of my car and scratched the spoiler and the area on top of the trunk between the spoiler and the rear window. Do you know who's stuck with the cost of fixing that?

  Me, the friend who drives her friends places out of convenience(my car was the regular shuttle from my town or the outskirts of the other town into the downtown area where some of my friends lived or needed to go to), in bad weather, out of safety concern, when they're running late or when they're too drunk to find their way home. I haven't charged for gas in 2 years(although occasionally I'm repaid in the odd bit of snack food provided at hangouts, but it's not a common occurance).

  You'd think the least they could do is freaking respect me enough to steer clear of my car when they're on a vandalizing spree like they were last night(pissed on doorhandles of stores, tossed leftover pizza at houses, etc.). So until they can own up to it and I get a refund on the $180 bill to fix the damages, they're not getting rides anywhere. If we're hanging out and they want to go to the beer store and it's pouring rain, and my car is there, I will not give them a lift. If they're feeling sick and want to go home and I have my car available, no dice. I think the picture is pretty freakng clear.

  Now, in the minute chance that they didn't do it, I'm ok with that. I took a picture of the footprint left on the back of my car and I'll compare it to their shoes, and if nothing matches, I'll clear the slate and things will be good again, but what are the odds of someone climbing/jumping onto my car while it's parked deep into a driveway in the middle of a neighbourhood filled with old people? Not good.

  So needless to say when my dad woke me up this morning to show me the damages, I was really pissed, especially because I had stuck out incredibly late last night until some of my friends returned from getting pizza(which also included that vandalizing streak of theirs) so I could drive them home. And I did drive them home, because I didn't look at the back of the car. So you'd think they'd tell me about it then, but whatever.

  I just think it sucks that I'll basically have to take 3 day's pay to fix something I didn't cause.

  Junior Boys - Parallel Lines

  • Posted May 5, 2009 4:30 pm PT
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• 15Apr 09

  You came up from the ground, from a million little pieces

  You're a pretty human being. Yeah, you're a pretty human being.
  When it all comes crashing down, try to understand your meanings.
  No one said it would be easy. This living, it ain't easy, oh.

  - Cloud Cult

  Anywho, haven't been blogging for a bit because work has kept me busy, and on the 2 days per week that I'm not working, I'm job hunting because I'm not enjoying my current job in the least. On top of that I was sick all last week with something that's still left lingering stomach issues, and the building stress of not being able to find any kind of therapist locally who will take me onto their client list...and the stress of being at home STILL, about a year ater I finished school, and almost 10 months after I came out to my parents...it's just been hard lately to be efficient with my time and how/where I shift my focus, daily.

  I had 'one of those days' on Tuesday, as a friend of mine says. The ones where you have it in your mind that maybe you're not a transsexual, and maybe you can live like this after-all, because that way I wouldn't have to worry about my friends/family accepting me, or all the troubles associated with transsexuality, or the medical issues I'm sure I'll have in the future, or whatever. Thoughts that I could just keep status quo. And I get those thoughts, even though they obviously clash with how I feel about myself. I hate those kind of days because I know those thoughts are my fears telling me to take the easy road, that I can live like this forever, and manage. I know that's a lie, because if I can't even look at myself in the mirror, how can I possibly live like that? One of my biggest obstacles is my future, because I'm basically in limbo right now. I need a job to afford transition, but I can't transition while I'm at this job, so I need to find a better job, but that time is taken away from my transition. But my transition is more important to me than a job, but my fear of debt/money forces me to keep a job over transitioning my money away. So I'm locked in a circle of stress and seeming hopelessness.

  But those days come and go, and they only come once a month or month & a half, so I'm doing ok now. Yesterday was just a bit rough. I just have to keep my targets in sight. I've raised a good chunk of money since I've started this crap job...sure, it's min wage but I've spent maybe $400 of the $1575 I've been paid so far: $200 on music, and the other $200 on essentials like gas, food, insurance, etc., plus, I'm getting paid on Friday and it'll probably be $490 or so, and I can put most of that away into savings because I've paid off most of what I've had to pay for April already(I've rationed away gas money already, so no more worries there except for a trip to Whitby next Tuesday).

  Aside from that, nothing all too interesting on this front. Spring is coming, as the temperatures have been warming lately. Which mean summer will be quick on its heels.

  I'll blog sooner and with less of a gap than before, next time

  Have a good one!

  • Posted Apr 15, 2009 7:01 pm PT
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• 28Mar 09

  You can't start a fire, worrying about your little world falling apart...

  this gun's for hire...even if we're just dancing in the dark.

  Well, I haven't been a good friend lately. I haven't hung out with many friends as of late(mostly due to work, though). When I HAVE, I was just really tired and whatnot so we didn't do too much. My best-friend has been inquiring if I could be able to step in as a roomate when his current roomate basically up and leaves soon, my own personal excuse being that I don't have the time. Well, I'll get into that later, and how lame that excuse is, but this has pinnacled tonight.

  Tonight, I let a friend drive home drunk. This is something I never do. I usually convince people to give me their keys, and I'll drive them wherever they need to go. My parents have almost been killed in numerous drunk-driving related incidents(none of which involved them being intoxicated...one event involved my dad needing to be cut out of his car in a seemingly miraculous survival after a transport truck ran into the back of him at an intersection and crumpled his car), and in general, I've known too many people affected by drunk driving to be ok with it normally. Not to say that I'm ok with it now...I'm not. I'm just...ugh. I'm tired of taking everyone's responsibilities on my shoulders and bearing that load, usually without their knowledge.

  This dude tonight is a cool guy. He got me and one of his friends named Adam(all of us have the same given name, it seems) to go and sing Queen's "Don't Stop me Now" at kareoke. Normally, this is forbidden as no one can replicate Freddie's voice, but there was no way I was going to stop a bunch of drunkards from pulling e up there, throat infection and all(yeah, my voice was destroyed by the middle of the second verse...and it seems that in all their excitement to get up there, they weren't all that enthusiastic about singing it, and didn't really seem to try...which ended up with my voice at the forefront. Whatever, my voice was crap, so I just tried some showmanship to make up for it ). We've hung out at work a bunch since we started 5 weeks ago, and he's a really nice, interesting guy.

  But so are a lot of the others I've made friends with there, and that's a lot of friends for me to keep tabs on. I can't carry that load. I just can't. He told me at the start of the night he was drinking a little bit and would drive home after, and he seemed set on that promise until he got coaxed into combining someone else's drink into his mammoth mug, which started a quick spiral that let to him drinking like 1.5 pints of beer or something. I dodn't really know how much he drank, aside from knowing it was 1 and a half of these large glass mugs, so I imagine they're pints. So I kept tabs on his glass all night, and so did the girl sitting beside me(also a friend who stated she wouldn't let him drive home drunk). I hated to ruin the jovial mood at the end of the night with such a serious question, but I basically flat out asked him.

  "Are you sober? You've drank like one and a half mugs, I don't think you can drive home. I'll take you to Picton, and pick you up tomorrow and drive you back here so you can get your car, if you want."

  And he replies with the "I'm fine. My parents, they've got some serious alcoholism issues, and I'v developed a fortitude for it. besides, I have one DUI already, I won't let myself get another."

  At this point I'm just thinking that fortitude or not, the blood alcohol limit remains the same for everyone, even if your body can handle more than the limit. Not saying his could. I was just tired. I gave him an easy out, to get out of the situation scot-free, and he thanked me for it, but declined. I just was so tired of it. I'm so tired of letting other people's issues weigh on me so much, and I'm tired of it still weighing on me. Whatever he chooses in life...it's his own blood. I gave him an out. If he wrecks his car, and gets hurt, I'll feel absolutely terrible and I'll go back on my "let others take responsibility of their own actions" vibe, but still, he brought it on himself. The intoxication excuse have never flied by me. If someone was drunk and shat on my bed, they'd wash my sheets by hand, and if they were ruined, that person would buy me new ones of my choosing. I'd handcuff them to something solid to make sure they stayed nearby until they were sober enough to realize their responsibility remains intact, because they made the choice to get intoxicated, so they have to live with it.

  If you do something stupid/dangerous/deadly while intoxicated, and you're caught, you deserve all the punishment being sent your way(and in some cases, more on top of what you're given). If you weren't caught, karma is a b1tch, and it will get you, so don't feel sorry for yourself when it does. So many rely on the youth excuse of being young and doing stupid crap, and it's ok to do stupid crap if it's not harming someone else or their crap. I know a few of my friends used to smash mailboxes and wicker/lawn-chairs when they were in high-school(and in early college), but I guarantee you if I owned those mailboxes/chairs and I saw you doing it, I'd do something about it. Go tip over a portable toilet...the city will put money in the economy by paying someone to mop up that mess. Don't wreck other people's stuff, because I'm sure if you came home one day to find your door broken down and your music collection demolished(or your computer if you're mostly digital), or your booze collection if you've got a lot, you wouldn't be too happy.

  My deal with my friends is that if I'm put in a situation where they're totally plastered and I have to take responsibility for them, I pour their booze down the toilet/sink/etc. of onto a lawn or road or whatever. If they don't have much left, I put it on their tab, and in the future I'll empty however much I feel like out of one of their bottles to pay it. It's only happened once, and I feel I'm being incredibly lenient with them, considering. No one should feel sorry for themselves when they get plastered and force others to deal with their crap, or their outburts of aggression/stupidity. Just because you're young and drunk, it doesn't mean the world revolves around you. If you're caught and puished for something, you don't strike back at the person who caught you, either(like it seems some eggers tended to do last year until I/the rest of my family had them brought in to the police station for the third time); you're supposed to learn from it and realize that consequences are real, and feeling self-pity over your own actions is useless and immature.

  Just like if my friend gets a DUI or hurts humself or someone else while driving home, he shouldn't feel any self-pity. It would be his own doing, and the consequences would be very real. And I know I'm sounding like some humourless, joyless, elderly hardass, but I don't care. There are plenty of ways to have fun without making other people pay. My parent's friend bought a car two summers ago and came by to show it to my mom and dad one night. Well, while they were in my living room talking and laughing, some @sshole kids decided to spraypaint the passenger side of the car and slash the tires. Just for kicks, it seems. He had the choice to go through insurance and have his premiums skyrocket higher than they already were for his new car, or just pay for the damage out of his pocket, which he did. Cost him a couple thousand dollars. I think 2k for the paintjob, and another thousand or something for tires.

  My parent's friend is a pretty easy-going guy, who's always lending a hand to anyone who needs help...he's donated ridiculous amounts of hours to charity/community efforts, and has helped my family a lot. He's a better person than me, he was really pissed off about it but didn't care to find out who did it. And I eventually DID find out who did it, but when I DID find out, they'd matured after one of their friends was really hurt in one of their little events. So I basically asked them point-blank if they did it and they pretty much said they did(one of them is a good friend's little brother, who I overheard talking about a lot of their high-school exploits).

  If you destroy a mailbox, that's probably what, $20? I think I saw some for $20 at the mall the other day. I can have one week's food for $20. If someone forced me to alter my budget to fit in a $20 mailbox that cost $20 I didn't have, I wouldn't be too happy. Which is why when people break/steal my stuff, I make sure I get back the cost of it plus 15-20% interest if possible. My brother broke one of my hockey sticks once. It cost $15, I took $20 from his savings. No one messes with my hard earned money/belongings. I know what hard wok entails, I know what money is worth. I saved for 3 years to get an N64 and Goldeneye(started off as saving for goalie equipment ) because I was making $8.00 a MONTH for about 40-50 hours of work a month. No allowance, no free money from relatives aside from the odd quarter(although I was later told my grandparents on my dad's side would occasionally give my parents $5 to put in blocked off savings accounts for me/my brother...which would happen something like once or twice a year), or the money for books(one time $340 at start of college that my parents paid). I earned 98% of the money I've had, and it's why I'm so money-conscious.

  So basically, moral of the story is I still care ridiculously for the health of my friends, but I need them to care more about themselves, and to help me help them. I need them to shoulder their own responsibility, and I want people in general to realize stupid crap(especially vandalism) is not cool.

  Now, going with part of the money-issues paragraph, my friend might need me to move in with him. Which would hurt me financially, guaranteed.

  First off, I'll be making something like 1200 a month after taxes. That isn't terrible, but it's not too great. I'd have to pay about $400 for rent if I moved in with him. Not bad; that's reasonable, and I'd have relative privacy. So now I'm down to $800. Then probably $80 on food, so I'm down to $720. Then Internet/utilities costs $45 or so, which brings me to $675. This is what my friend thinks I'd have cleared to spend on whatever I want. Would be reasonable to think this normally, but I need to get electrolysis/psychotherapist stuff done. Electrolysis will likely cost me 12-14k, and 52% of that cost is absorbed in the first year, which is 6-7k the first year, which is $500 to $583.33 a month. Not bad, as I have savings to pull from(as I expected electro to be this expensive), but that's not including the potential super-expensive monthly or twice monthly trips to Ottawa for psychotherapy, which would include the transportation there/back and the cost of the session. EXPENSIVE. My savings can't tackle both electro and psyc without dipping below 2k from the current 6k this year. Just not gonna be possible.

  I'm not including potential commissions in these #s of course, but the commissions at work are handed out a month after the fact. So let's say I make all my quota for April and make $400 on commissions across the month. I get that $400 at the final payday in May, which tends to be in the late 20's in terms of day-digits. Supposedly it's delayed by processing time, but I think it's so they keep one month's commissions when people quit. So I can't count on those commission moneys for a while.

  I'll still continue to crunch numbers, and I've been told by a few transsexuals that they've had electro done for much cheaper than I'm expecting(and for less hours than I'm expecting), so I'll look around into that, but general consensus is that it's below average costs for 14k on electro. Avg is 15-16k supposedly, in total. If I can cut electro down to $350 a month, and find a psychotherapist willing to do call-in sessions...then I'll totally jump on that and help him out. If it's going to ruin me financially, then it's definitely something I'm going to ry and avoid if possible. I'll help him find someone solid, if that's the case, or maybe find a better place. Who knows.

  But yeah, I feel like sh!t in more ways than physically. I suppose I deserve some of it, but I'm just in a bad mood today. Nothing has gone right today.

  Matthew Good - Champions of Nothing
  

  • Posted Mar 28, 2009 1:59 am PT
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• 14Mar 09

  I appreciate a good pop hook

  I'll cut to the chase, I'm bored and I felt like talking about a very mediocre song that has a really infuriatingly good hook / great chorus, or whatever.

  It's from a group from Britain that are blessed with occasional production/songwriting by Xenomania(songwriting group, who are actually half decent, even if they write for the radio, and nothing but), which is the reason for this listing. Girls Aloud may lack all talent aside from having pretty voices and synchronized dance numbers, but one listen to this chorus and I want to go hug the folks at Xenomania for taking advantage of Girls Aloud's only talent. That vocal hook, combined with the synths...golden. Too bad it's wasted on GA, but whatever. The song's definitely 80's esque. I swear, at award shows, the peeps who write the song should accept the award, instead of someone used as an instrument in the song.

  Anywho, I've listened to The Cure - Disintegration and I can say I'm not disappointed in the least. They're one of the bands I avoided for a long time and are one of the few to actually live up to the hype bestowed upon them. Pavement, Nick Cave, The Who, Elliott Smith, My Bloody Valentine, Bright Eyes, Joy Division, Can, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Melt banana, Hella, etc. and the Cure have been bands/artists I avoided for a period of time before giving them a listen because the hype was too disrupting. Out of the above, only The Cure, MBV, and Springsteen met my expectations. Joy Division, The Who and Nick Cave were real good, but not quite what I expected, Bob Dylan and Elliot Smith were real inconsistent with the level of their work, and I didn't much enjoy Hella, Pavement, Melt banana, Can or Bright Eyes aside from a small handful of songs from each.

  Anywho, I've finished the 3rd week of my 5 week training course, and it's going pretty well. I was late by 10 min one day so I'm hoping that doesn't count against me(I could see being late a few hours counting against me, if I had) because if it doesn't, I'll be running with a 96% going into the final two weeks. I have a shift bid coming up on wednesday and i'll likely get a bad shift and won't see my friends for months. Let's hope I get something decent. Last thing I need is a late shift like 6PM-2AM that would render my social life null & void, even if I DO like working late shifts.

  • Posted Mar 14, 2009 2:24 pm PT
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• 2Mar 09

  Bought a bunch of music today

  Went to the mall. Bought:

  -Dark Was The Night (20)
  -Sam Roberts: Love at the End of the World (13)
  -Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavillion (25)
  -Tegan & Sara: So Jealous (15)
  -Franz Ferdinand: Tonight (14)
  -Antony & the Johnson: The Crying Light(23)
  -The Who: Who's Next (8.00)
  -Gentle Giant: Gentle Giant (8.00)

  = $142.38 after taxes. And I had more in my hands but I decided I already had enough. I had to put 3 or 4 back.

  That's my music spending for until I get my next pay or my second pay. I haven't listened to MPP, DWTN, or FF:T yet. Gimme a break, I just got home from hanging wit a friend.

  And yes, I've gotten a method of getting paid. I'm in training for a call-center contract. $9.50 an hour entry, has some benefits, has commission. LONG hours(I'm taking 4:30PM to 1AM hours, 5 days a week). Rough. But not too hard so far. I know a few people there so I wouldn't be too alone, also. XD So, for a "bridge" job(a job to last me over until I get something in my career), it's not too bad. It's a c|assy call-center, they treat their people well, and mayhaps if I can get in contact with the 2 folks over in another section who are also transsexual and transitioning, I could get inroads to getting on a patient list for a psychiatrist(all I've called within travelling distance seem fully booked and aren't accepting new patients...which is a serious problem. I had one until I stopped going due to lack of new funds and she's filled my old spot now so...), and maybe if things work out, some new people I can actually relate to (albeit in a semi-depressing way).

  Anywho, it's very late. Gnight. Sweet dreams

  • Posted Mar 2, 2009 12:59 am PT
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• 22Feb 09

  Fun Day

  Woke up around 11. Ate and had a shower by 12:45 and was on the road with my parents by 1PM, on route to the boonies(aka kawartha Lakes region) to see my mom's side of the family. It was bascally a february birthday celebration(my dad, my grandpa, two of my cousins, one of my cousin's girlfriend's kids, etc.) and we wound up visiting my mom's best friend in Lindsay on the way back, which was cool. it had been over a decade since I last visited(like...I was young enough to still be playing NES...that's 1995-ish). Actually, wait. I DID visit somewhat recently(like 2002) but I didn't go downstairs once. I'll get to that in a bit.

  Anywho, the family get-together was cool. It was interesting to hear a lot of the stories they've all built up, and it was nice for once to be actually treated like an adult. I kind of forced the event but they reacted surprisingly well to me actually knowing and understanding "grown up things" so that was nice. We talked about GM's potential exit strategy out of Canada, federal vs provincial insurance coverage, internet privacy, etc. and it was decently enjoyable, even if I didn't get to talk much(some on my mom's side are...well, they talk and interrupt a lot, but they're good people so I don't mind one bit). We had spaghetti, which I guarantee hasn't sat well with me all night, as the sauce had onions in it and I didn't notice until I'd eaten a forkful. Case in point: it was probably -10C in the SUV, leather seats, for the first 10 minutes of the ride out of there. I had my winter jacket off, my sweater off, and I was still feeling rough and hot with my t-shirt on. Generally, when I start to feel car-sick, it's usually because stuff it getting shook up in my stomach that doesnt want to be shook up. That, or a car ot way too hot, or the suspension system on it sucks and the car winds up real shaky. So I tend to wear as little as possible when I feel sick XD. It subsided when I diluted it with a bottle of water, and I was relatively decent by the time we arrived in Lindsay.

  My mom's best friend's daughter and her friends(they're all around the age of 22-24, my age basically) were partying there as they'd just gotten back from the Dominican Republic(vacation, I'd assume). It's probably the first time I've seen their daughter in motion in...at least 7 years. And even back then it was a passing glimpse as she was leaving as my family and I were arriving. Needless to say she's grown to be a nice girl, and her friends were also astonishingly fetching, but that's just looks, and firstglances at that, so with my parents being led to the basemen/rec-room area, I followed without a second glance in the kitchen's direction where they seemed to be listening to the ever popular Lady gaga and drinking an assortment of liquors and wines.

  This basement was stellar. I did not remember this guy having what he had the last time I was down there. I last recall him having a gumball machine because I sank dozens of nickels into that thing back in the day. I do remember it being a sweet setup, with a bar and stools, and a nice speaker system. Well, maybe he just unhid a bunmch of stuff because suddenly there were amps, guitars, basses, a grand piano, and a friggin A-grade drumkit sitting downstairs in the reco room, and apparently he jams with folk and does the odd local concert with his buddies. Colour me surprised, but as he talked about it, I just was very impressed. Apparently, he has a show really soon and te people he's playing with gave him some MP3s of the songs they want to play, and he's learned them already. See, with more hand-on music knowledge("instrument how-to"as I call it) that's pretty much how I'd likely be learning music. I can somewhat do it now but I find it hard as hell when pedals get thrown into the mix(which is why I try to avoid guitar stuff) and I'm very inefficient. Ths guy listens to the music while he's at work, and then plays it when he gets home. BRUTAL. Anywho, I' sure it's nothing I should be too impressed about, but the fact that this dude knows a bunch about music, and actually plays it blew me out of the water. This is the same guy who seemed to have a Jean-Claude Van Damme and Sylvester Stallone obsession way back in the day(in fact, she seems to still have it, as the posters show, and the new purchase of Bloodsport 4 revealed to me XD).

  The drive home(a burden carried by my dad) was seemingly rough as the roads were covered in ice and snow, and it was generally atrociously slick. Kudos for him getting through that with ease on all-season tires.

  Anywho, with today's ventures over and done with, I've come to a conclusion that over the past 3 days I've been listening to a lot of Fleet Foxes. So, in nature of that event, I've taken up the burden of making a countdown of my favourite Fleet Foxes songs,from worst to first(not that there's a bad fleet foxes song). Of course, this only includes Sun Giant EP and their self-titled debut.

  Here we go!

  16. Sun Giant

  Honestly, there are no bad Fleet Foxes song, in my mind. However, there is a song that borders on being anywhere within sight of medocre(but still good ), and that's Sun Giant. It's just not all that great, in comparison to the rest. Not bad, it's certainly ear-pleasing, but it's not very interesting.

  15. Oliver James

  This is where it started to get a bit difficult. I really like this song, and it's a solid closer track. It's minimalistic and folky, and it's somewhat soothing. I don't know. Great song, not much else to say.

  14. English House

  To be very honest, I haven't listened to the Sun Giant EP much, but even still it was hard to place this song here because it's a fun little number; especially the second half. Anywho, fun song, but lacks a vibe that other songs carry with ease.

  13. Quiet Houses

  Lovely song, if a bit one dimensional in vocals. Still, this is where it gets really difficult. In fact, i'm going to try to refrain from saying this again, because ranking each track above the other is excruciatingly difficult. I don't know why I decided this would be fun, it's painful. Lay me down, lay me down.....

  12. He Doesn't Know Why

  If there's another song that leads me to believe this song was inspired by a friend/brother with substance abuse issues, it's this one(and Mykonos and Blue Ridge Mountains). Wonderful lyrics, wonderful vibe. LOVE the near-ending part with the drums and vox. To little bits. The piano bit at the VERY end is awesome too

  11. Meadowlarks

  A slow, sparse, acoustic number with wonderful vocals. VERY soothing.

  10. Innocent Son

  Ditto for this. If there's one thing that makes Fleet Foxes, it's the vocals. Holy heck.

  9. Sun It Rises

  When I first heard this song, as it started out I was all "Hrm. What did I get myself into?" Then the guitar bit comes on and I'm like "Ok, this is pretty nifty."
  Then the vocals hit and I'm like "Wow that's a nice voice." Then the banjo hits and more vocals hit and I'm pretty pleased by this point. Then the electric hits, and my kidneys explode. Then vocals-guitar-vocals close out the track and I'm left with an impeccable first impression.

  8. Drops in the River

  Gotta love this song. It just ascends and ascends and suddenly it's rocking out as hard as americana-folk musicians are allowed to, and then it levels off into a vocals bit and you're suddenly dropped off at ground level again. But again, it starts (folk-)rocking and you're all "haylls yeah!". Honestly, a nice fun track that earns the right to be fun.

  7. Heard Them Stirring

  This song is the epitome of what I feel Fleet Foxes sound like.

  6. White Winter Hymnal

  I know some who feel this is their best. I think it's a wonderful song, but it's always been a bit too cheesy for me to put on top. B cheesy, I mean using cheesy maneuvers like how the song starts out. Once the song gets its wheels, though, it's a very very nice song. Gotta love the imagery in the last stanza("and michael you will fall, and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime), and when the full band kicks in after the first verse.

  5. Tiger Mountain Peasant Song

  I don't know how this slips to #5 but it does. A testament to how awesme the others are, as this probably has the best, consistent vocals in their catalogue. Honestly, the delivery is simply awe-inspiring. Where did these kids learn this? What a haunting song.

  4. Your Protector

  How did this slip to #4? Jeez. Probably one of the coolest intros out of their songs, and probably the coolest intro vocals. Nothing but vocals, reverb, and woodwinds; followed by tambourine of course. Then it breaks out and suddenly it sounds like it's out of a western movie. Super atmosphere.

  2b. Mykonos

  Because it doesn't deserve 3rd place. It's in a tie for 2nd and I had to flip a coin on which would be A and which would be B.
  Anywho, this song is spectacular. Just the vocal delivery, and its progression, to that epic stanza where you can't help but sing along

  "Brother you don't need to turn me away
  I was waiting down at the ancient gate
  
  You go
  Wherever you go today
  You go today

  I remember how they took you down
  As the winter turned the meadow brown
  
  You go
  Wherever you go today
  You go today
  
  When I walking brother don't you forget
  It ain't often you'll ever find a friend
  
  You go
  Wherever you go today
  You go today "

  Friggin YEAH. YEAH. When I hear that "I remember..." stanza, I get flashbacks to stairway of heaven's famous "And as we wind on down the road, Our shadows taller than our soul..." line. I don't even know why(maybe in terms of building awesomeness that reaches a peak there?), but considering that's among my favourite led zeppelin moments, and these guys are americana-folk...that's pretty spiffy. Also, song is totally about being frustratd with a drug-addict friend/family member who they want to help, but just wants to run from his/her "problems"(see plane to blue ridge mountains). I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of their work is inspired by trying to clean said family member/friend up from a drug addiction. Anywho...

  2a. Ragged Wood

  Man, what beats Mykonos? This doesn't, but it equalizes it. This, to me, is like paranoid android: folk edition. Well, less like paranoid Android in sound, and more in terms of the frequency they shake the soundup, yet keep it fluidly strewn together. Fun as hell, too. Honestly, "Sun it Rises", then "White Winter hymnal", then THIS. How awesome is that? That's a friggin wealth.

  1. Blue Ridge Mountains

  BRM wins. For good reason. Go listen for confirmation.

  Anywho, I'm bagged. I'm off to bed...who knew traveling was so tiring?

  • Posted Feb 22, 2009 12:15 am PT
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• 15Feb 09

  Latvia = hilarity

  Honestly. I've been obsessed lately with Latvia jokes. I'll show you some:

  Knock knock
  Who's there?
  Latvian.
  Latvian who?
  Please open door. Is cold.

  How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
  Only one. Obtain light bulb is hard part. You have potato?

  
  Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder. Bartender say, "That look delicious!" But pig say, "No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog."

  
  Latvian is rub lamp find genii. Genii say, "What is three wishes?" Latvian say, "I wish potato!" Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! "Oh! Is potato! Is potato!" say Latvian. Genii ask, "What is next wish?" Latvian is say, "I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!" POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.

  
  Is Latvian couple have been marry 60 years! But for long times, is no making sex. For 60th wedding anniversary, wife is buy for husband hooker for the have sex! Hooker is arrive at door one fine day and is say to husband, "Hello! I here give you super sex!" Man is say, "Oh! I will have the soup." Then hooker is say, "What? You have soup? Why you no told this?"

  
  What are one potato say other potato?
  Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

  
  Three Latvian girl are walk down street. One have knife, one have gun, one have window. They are meet soldier. Soldier is ask first girl, "Why you are have knife?" "If you try rape me, I stab!" she say. Okay! Second girl, "Why you are have gun?" "If you try rape me, I shoot!" she say. Okay! Third girl, "Why you are have window?!?" "If you try rape me, I jump out!"

  
  Latvian is capture by cannibals. Cannibals say, "We are kill you and eat you and use skin for canoe. But you may choose means of your death." Latvian say, "Okay! You are give me fork, please!" But oops! Is forgot how use!

  
  What is have four wheels and flies? Is body-disposal truck! Many have suicide this week.

  
  Two Latvians are argue over wodka. One say, "For wodka, I give you daughter." Friend is say OK. Deal is struck. But he is surprise! She deformed by malnutrition.

  
  Man is have something on his mind. Is hat! And is crust of bread under hat, for to hide from family.

  
  Rubber crutch was give my babushka by Soviet Overlord. She fall and to break hip and then roll into Daugava River! But HA! She not dying! Joke on you Soviet Overlord! Instead she live many year and become great drain on family resource.

  
  Latvian: Is so cold.
  All: How cold is?
  Latvian: Very. Also dark.

  
  A fishmonger says to a bootblack, "Are there any more potato left?" Bootblack says, "Yes, one. But it has gone bad." The fishmonger says, "I am very hungry. I have not eaten for three days. I shall eat it, even if it makes me very ill." And bootblack says, "I did not speak truth. In reality, there is no food left. You shall go hungry yet another day, my friend."

  
  Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! "More bread for me," man think. But bread have worm.

  
  Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
  Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

  ---

  Anyways, now that the terribly dark humour is over, I'mma talk about a somewhat questionable topic.

  RACISM IN VIDJAGAMES

  Or more specifically, racism in Resident Evil 5.

  I think there's a lot to be said about the people claiming immense racism (in terms of being dangerously politically correct), but there's also the fact that the game is hamfistedly throwing the gamer into a scenario that could potentially be seen as quite racist.

  One person I've seen comment on the subject made the suggestion that Capcom's stance on it is probably the human lead characters fighting people who used to be human but aren't anymore because of a virus/disease or whatever. And I think that's exactly what Resident evil has always been. It's the Africa setting that gets the claims of racism, and I see people suggesting the game taking place in an urban setting in Africa, and that would be ok enough, but urban areas all over the world look near-identical. It's the more rural areas that bring out the native territory and let actual atmosphere seep in. Is it racist or discriminatory for the game to depict Africa as a horde of shantytowns and basically a brutal place? No. It isn't, because if there's anything I've learned about Africa over the past few years, it's that Africa is not a happy place.

  It's wartorn. It's filled with sadistic, power-hungry leaders commiting atrocious crimes upon one another. There's malnutrition, disease, theft, murder, rape, abductions, slavery, etc. RE5 is not for social commentary, but when they dish out some negative views about Africa that are truthful, they're not racist. Have any of those people seen Congo or kenya lately? It would be MUCH more racist if this took place in the USA. It's still fairly racist in how it's come across(I've only seen trailers and game previews), but I have to wonder how racist would it be seen as if it wasn't Chris Redfield as the lead, but instead a new African character.

  Suddenly, it's a black man killing infected black men. Suddenly it's a potential social commentary about how certain culture groups in Africa potentially view each other, and many current modern situations that have occured over the past year(and continue to occur). Sure, some might consider it racist because not all of africa is like that, but at the same time not all of the mid-westerns in the USA are farmers, and not all Americans beneath the M-D line are rednecks. I'm not going to deny Capcom was ignorant to the continent's history...that much is very evident.

  Capcom was stupid to hold the setting of RE5 in Africa, because they're making a survival horror game and it would be painstakingly obvious that it would come off as racist, but I'm not going to say the game is purposely racist. They made some wrong choices in the direction of the game, but they're not hanging black men in trees. Chris' girl partner is not seemingly the token black character, or the token girl, like two characters in left 4 Dead. She's lighter skinned which was another bad move. Smart move would be to align her looks more with the populace, because it's not like she's his slave or that she's useless or anything. Games don't get the benefit of the doubt that movies and art get, and I somewhat understand that, but being too politically correct and oversensitive to what's in gaming is just too ridiculous.

  It's like, yeah, Capcom could have had an epidemic take place in an urban african area with african people looking like the equivalent of middle c|ass americans, but then why make it take place in Africa? There are stereotypes in everything. I didn't hear people getting up in arms when The Godfather made italians look like criminals. I didn't hear people cry out when aryan-looking Link, in the legend of Zelda games, continually saves the helpless aryan girl from the evil dark-skinned man. And do you know why? It's called reading into it too much.

  Just like RE5 is a survival shooter. They burned out the zombie book, and they moved onto parasites infecting humans, to make it more jarring to play, as humans are REAL. And no matter where you use humanesque villains, people are almost always going to cry out over racism or discrimination.

  So yeah, Africa has had a troubled history, and has had to work hard in attempts to shed the images it once bore. This certainly doesn't help it, but at MOST it's being culturally/racially insensitive by simply brushing off that history and going ahead as planned. It's the equivalent of taking a group picture of people slanting their eyes.

  Of course, I haven't played the demo, so maybe others might have some interesting views to toss in here.

  I'll end this with a cool song. Or two. Flip to a minute in, there's just noise beforehand.

  • Posted Feb 15, 2009 4:30 pm PT
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• 14Feb 09

  I have heard the crying sound

  ...No one can stop you now. No one can stop you now.

  So January has passed and I have accumulated some music from this new year. Still no Animal Collective to be found, but I'll keep looking and waiting. It'll come.

  What did I end up picking up?

  -Antony & the Johnsons: The Crying Light
  -Malajube: Labyrinthes
  -The Phantom Band: Checkmate Savage
  -Fever Ray: Fever Ray
  -The Deep Dark Woods: Winter Hours

  And the non 2009 releases:
  -The Mountain Goats: Tallahassee
  -Natural Snow Buildings: The Dance of the Moon and the Sun
  -Natural Snow Buildings: The Winter Ray
  -Natural Snow Buildings: Ghost Folks

  And my friend's getting The Boxer Rebellion off iTunes so that's a plus. I've heard they're pretty solid.

  Anywho, I came away really impressed by the new Antony album, because the EP was pretty iffy and kind of had me worrying. I can say that The Crying Light is one hell of an album. It could easily tie up with I Am A Bird Now IMHO.

  Malajube...I was surprised my local store had a copy of it in stock(although they do often order small-label canadian band releases for kicks) so I snatched it up quick-fast. I'm pretty happy with it. It's french, but whatev. It's great music.

  Checkmate Savage was an album recommended to me, so I snagged that and I can't say I've overly thrilled just yet, but at the same time I've only played through it once, and it had the unenviable task of following up "The Crying light". I'll give it more chances soon.

  Fever Ray sounds like a watered down The Knife, which seems about right. Karin's wonderful on her own and all, but as a team, The Knife is exponentially superior IMO. Still, really solid album.

  The Deep Dark Woods is a band recommended to me from a friend of mine who's a folk/country/bluegrass fanatic. I'm pretty happy with it. They sound like old school countrry with a nice modern twist, and that's relatively pleasant to sit through. I'm loving the vocals.

  I finally found tallahassee in stock so I bought that too, and I'm pretty happy with it(not that I haven't heard it countless times before though).

  And finally, the Natural Snow Buildings albums...well, they're out of print so I won't bother going into where I got hem from, but needless to say they're of the quality where if they get re-printed, I will be shelling out money real quick to them. I already bought their main 2008 effort "The Snowbringer Cult". I'm just praying they get a hueg boxset together. They've got a rabid fanbase and most of their new limited release(like 10-50 copies of an album) get snatched up in mere minutes or a few hours, so it's difficult to get my paws on anythig new they do.

  Anywho, it's Valentine's Day I suppose. Yay for that >_>

  Let's celebrate the day with a song or two. Or maybe three.

  • Posted Feb 14, 2009 2:03 pm PT
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