• 25Nov 09

  11 movies I do not like at all.

  [CAPS LOCK] [NOT ACTUAL BLOG POST]

  P.S. THERE'S THIS REALLY COOL GAME ON STEAM CALLED OSMOS THAT'S ON SALE FOR ONLY $2.00 FOR A LIMITED TIME THAT I STRONGLY RECOMMEND BUYING BECAUSE IT'S A PRETTY COOL INDIE GAME WITH AWESOME MUSIC THAT NORMALLY GOES FOR $9.99 AND IT CAN RUN ON PRETTY MUCH ANY COMPUTER RELEASED IN THE LAST CENTURY.

  [/CAPS LOCK] [/NOT ACTUAL BLOG POST]

  ----------

  So earlier today my friend linked me to this site that lets you build a list of movies you've seen, add some to your favourites list, and some to your disliked list. After adding 200 movies to my list off the top of my head (there were a lot more but for some reason I couldn't find them) I've come up with 11 movies that I've seen from beginning to end that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

  [note: keep in mind this just my personal opinion and if you happen to think any of the following movies is "DA BEST GRATEST FILM EVA" well too bad, because I don't agree with you.]

  This list is not in any particular order.

  1. Natural Born Killers
  seriously, **** this movie. **** quentin tarantino too, take your bull**** elsewhere please.

  EDIT: user m0zart has thankfully enlightned me that Quentin Tarantino actually doesn't like this movie. My respect for him has gone up significantly because of this. Will leave my original comment intact though, as to not hide from my ignorance. I guess you can just replace my above statement about Tarantino with Oliver Stone since he's the one who made this drivel.

  2. X2
  X-Men was tolerable. X2 is a complete pile of melodramatic crap that can essentially be sumarized as two hours of bald guys sweating whilst staring at one another.

  3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
  I'll be honest, I liked the first Pirates movie. In fact, I liked it so much that I went to go see this sequel in theatres. Guess what? I hated this movie so much that I didn't even watch the third one, and I never will. Not funny at all, complete mindless trash.

  4. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
  No thank you disney, no ****ing thank you.

  5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
  Let's get this straight: I'm a HUGE Indiana Jones fan. Always have been, always will be. But this movie just flat out sucks, like, sucks HARD. Everything about this movie is garbage and a complete insult to the Indiana Jones legend. The entire plotline is awful, the badguy (Cate Blanchett's character) is ridiculously annoying, seriously GEORGE LUCAS JUST ****ING STOP I'M BEGGING YOU. Also Shia LaBeouf as INDIANA JONES' SON? WHAT. THE. ****. ? *facedesk*

  6. Men in Black II
  ughhhhhhhh why did I remind myself that this movie exists.

  7. The Mummy Returns
  FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  8. The Simpsons Movie
  Hey, I like the Simpsons just as much as the next guy (well I used to anyway) but this movie sucks, plain and simple.

  9. Transformers
  SHIA LABEOUF. MICHAEL BAY. MEGAN FOX. WOW.

  10. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  Ok I'm not really a huge Harry Potter fan. I've read the first four books and I liked them way back in the day, and have some pretty fond memories of reading them. (Like YEARS ago fyi). I eventually lost interest and stopped keeping up with the franchise. I saw the first 3 Harry Potter movies and they were enjoyable to varying degrees for what they were. I never saw the 4th one. Now I know a lot of people will give me **** for saying I didn't like this movie when I've never read the book, but as far as my understanding goes reading the book before seeing the movie in almost EVERY CASE causes you to HATE THE MOVIE EVEN MORE. Also, anyone find it funny that the 5th Harry Potter book is like one of the longest (the longest?) and has like, the shortest movie? This movie blows, sorry to say.

  11. War of the Worlds
  Yes, this is the Steven Spielberg one. Spielberg has made some pretty damn impressive movies - this isn't one of them.

  • Posted Nov 25, 2009 11:57 pm PT
  • Category: Movies
  • 13 Comments
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• 21Nov 09

  Hoard the Horde

  

  aww yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Posted Nov 21, 2009 8:39 pm PT
  • Category: Games
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• 20Nov 09

  Bayonetta: First Climax

  If you're not already aware, GameSpot is offering free Bayonetta Xbox 360 demo codes (only works for American Xbox Live accounts... and apparently Canadian ones too since it worked for me). I've spent some time with the demo, and I'm glad to say that it's a pretty awesome game.

  I should get it out of the way that I've never played Devil May Cry or Viewtiful Joe, which were created by the same mind behind Bayonetta. What I can say however, is that this game is surprisingly fun to play. What Bayonetta seems to have in common with the other two games based on what I've seen, is that it's extremely stylish and really over the top. This game is bursting at the seems with femininity, and is extremely over-sexualized so if that kind of thing sounds creepy to you then you should probably just avoid Bayonetta altogether.

  I find Bayonetta kind of interesting though because I didn't really take it as degrading to women, but almost more empowering female sexuality with its blatant outrageousness. The soundtrack is really poppy and over the top but it fits in with the action quite well, surprisingly.

  Bayonetta has a ridiculous amount of moves and combos, and there's a bunch of crazy finishers too. You can spin around and shoot enemies like crazy, or hack them to pieces with a katana. There's a lot to see and do here and it's all done in a lavishly well executed visual style. I can't vouch for the PS3 version, and based on what I've heard about the PS3 version by following it through various Kotaku reports it's not as polished as the Xbox 360 version (which is the lead platform for this game's development, the PS3 version was done by Sega rather than Platinum Games) and also features muddy textures, etc. I can safely say however that the Xbox 360 version looks gorgeous and has a ton of visual flair and eye candy.

  Bayonetta is shaping up to be a great visual treat with a crazy amount of over the top stylized action and best of all it doesn't feature metrosexual angsty shirtless dudes clad in leather. I'm definitely looking forward to playing the full release once it hits shelves in North America.

  p.s.

  What's up with the North American box art for this game?

  

  The Japanese box art is so much better:

  

  I'm seriously starting to think that Americans have like zero aesthetic taste, at least the people in charge of this stuff anyway...

  • Posted Nov 20, 2009 8:41 pm PT
  • Category: Games
  • 5 Comments
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