JustPlainLucas' Blog

Title	Score
New Super Mario Bros. Wii	9.0
Kirby Super Star Ultra	8.0
Wario: Master of Disguise	5.5
Tomb Raider: Legend	7.0
Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia	8.5
Heavenly Sword	7.5
Prince of Persia	8.5
Red Steel	5.0
Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story	9.0
Lair	5.0

20Dec 09

Xbox 360 Demo Impressions Volume 30 (Army of Two impressions updated)

Wow, I'm on my 30th episode of this? That has been quite a lot of demoing I've been doing! Anyway, I'll do a proper milestone blog at, say volume 50. Anyway, we have four to talk about this time, two XLBA game and two 360 games. So let's get started with the two XBLA first.

Alien Breed Evolution Episode 1

This is supposedly a remake using the Unreal 3 Engine, and it shows. The graphics are pretty good. It has the presentation of a 360 game, but the feel of an arcade game. But, short demo is short. It doesn't even let you fight the first boss. Basically, the best way to describe this is Aliens meets Smash TV. You run around with the left stick and aim with the right, firing with the R trigger. The L trigger uses special items, like health. You find different weapons along the way, and items such as keycards. I would have loved to play more of this game, as I really dig the atmosphere, but one thing I'm not particularly fond of is just how dark it is, and your flashlight doesn't really illuminate very far. But I'd say this game is worth checking out from a demo standpoint.

Puzzlegeddon

This is a precent puzzle game. The heart of it lies in competition. You have four colored blocks that you can match up in groups of the same color, red, blue, yellow, or green, and each time you match up blocks, you can transform them into resources. As you're transforming resources, you have corresponding meters that fill up. There are different levels for each meter, and as these levels fill up, you can use abilities to attack or defend against your opponent. You can send out rockets, anti-rockets, jam radars, cause impairments on the other players' puzzle manuevers, etc. The game also has a puzzle survival mode where you have only so many moves to match up pieces in a certain way. The game is a lot of fun, and I want to buy it, but there's one major negative that prevents me from doing so. When you place a cursor on a piece and hold down the A button to manipulate a row, you can only do so either horizontally or vertically. The moment you do, you're commited, and if you want to change direction, you have let off the A button and press it again. If you're familiar with Yoshi's Cookie, you'll know that this affects playability a great deal, because it slows responsiveness. Still, if you love puzzle games, give it a shot.

Now for the two 360 game demos:

Army of Two: The 40th Day

This demo is co-op only. No option for single-player. Fail. I'll come back and write impressions if I ever find someone to play it with, but god dammit, what the **** is up with multiplayer only demos! **** EA and **** everyone else who does this ****!

EDIT: I finally got to play this with spazzx625. Thanks again, Andy. Now I can finally write my impressions of the game. It's actually pretty fun. The first thing I will comment on is the graphics. It's a really nice looking game. Everything is textured pretty well. I love the co-op aspect of drawing agro to let your partner sneak around behind them. the meleeing is very cool. Depending on how you approach them, you'll execute a different, painful looking melee move. The aiming, though, is very broken. I don't know if it's just because it's online or what, but it's not smooth at all.

Another thing I love about the co-op is that if you're down waiting for your partner to come to your aid, you can still fight back. I got taken down, and while Andy came to rescue me, I fired at the guy who opened fire at him, and when I got healed, I ran up to him while he was crawling on the ground and snapped his neck! WIN! The game has a lot of little touches too, such as hats and helmets flying off when you headshot them, kicking them off railings, etc. I also like the moral aspect the game has. The guy who was helping us at the beginning, we chose to kill him. We entered a hostage situation, and I was going to try to grab the commanding officer from behind, but hit the wrong button and threw a grenade into the crowd.

Also, this game's sense of scale is actually pretty epic. After the first section, the city you're in is under serious attack. Bombs inside buildings are being set off, and other buildings are being pelted with missiles. They're crumbling apart, and sliding into each other causing more structual chaos. You just so happen to be fighting in one of the dilapidating buildings. One part of the game has you trying to make it to a level to rescue someone or something in a floor of the building before the entire thing goes down, but unfortunately, my game glitched and i lost control of my character and he took off on his own, getting killed. At that point, Andy was tired of trying over and over again, so we quit.

The game's pretty sweet, but it's marred by a horrible online experience. You need a good connection when playing, or lag will cripple you. The aiming is very troublesome, and I lost control of my character more than once. I also was unable to host the game, so Andy had to host it for us, because every time I tried, my system would lock up. Because the game has so many flaws, it's not worth paying full price for, but I do think the game has enough to offer you that it is worth playing at some point in the future when the price comes down a considerable ammount. But dammit EA, no more multi-player only demos, PLEASE!

Vancouver 2010

It's that time again. The Winter Olympics are here and thus comes the video game tie-ins. In the demo of Vancouver 2010 you are given access to only one event, the Men's Super-G, and one challenge, the Ski Jump. The demo's not half-bad. In Super-G, you ski down a slope, passing through sets of gates, and the game does a decent job of displaying the speed of skiing. In the Ski Jump challenge, you try to land as closest to the targetting area as possible by waiting for the perfect wind direction, launching at the proper time, balancing yourself in the air, and landing perfectly. That challenge was kinda fun when I got the hang of it. It's a shame the demo is so limited, because I would like to see how well the rest of the game fares in other events. The only major problem is see is that the music if flatout obnoxious.

Posted Dec 20, 2009 2:33 pm PT
Category: N/A
9 Comments

18Dec 09

S&M doesn't stand for Shigeru Miyamoto

No, it stands for Sadism and Masochism. Here is what's been occupying my morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R59RZdRiJps

This is the infamous 9-7 that has been challenging even the most hardened Mario players. It's arguably the hardest level in the game, and quite possibly in the Mario franchise. The only time I remember having such a rough time playing a level, and cussing so many times in a row was that level in Super Mario Galaxy where you had to get 100 coints on an 8-bit Mario playing field. The video isn't exactly how I played through it, but it was real close. What I like about this video is that he included bloopers to show you just how bad things can go wrong.

Honestly, when I was playing this level, I didn't think I was using one of these:

It felt more like I was using one of these:

Seriously, Miyamoto is sadistic enough to create this level, and I'm masochistic enough to play through it. It wasn't so much trying to get through the level that was the challenge, but trying to get the star coins as well. The video doesn't show you how precise you have to be to get those last two coins, but basically, the second coin is the real pain. You have to position yourself just right in order to melt the frozen coins and fall to the star coin, and then immediately head off to the right before the pihrana plants melt too much of the ice, preventing you from moving on.

I'm so glad I finished this level. I went from 99 lives down to 68, and that's not even including all the extra lives I got along the way. I'm sure I must have burned through at least 15 more lives so I'd say I spend around 50 lives trying to finish this level completely. I was also worried that I may not have saved it, so I saved it one more time just to make sure.

For all you people who haven't made it to this level yet, I wish you the very best of luck... cuz quite frankly, you're going to need it, unless you're one of the testers in the Super Mario Club.

Posted Dec 18, 2009 9:50 am PT
Category: N/A
19 Comments

17Dec 09

James Cameron and the Wonderful Hype Machine

I'm sure a lot of you are grabbing your snacks and goodies, cramming them in your jacket pockets and piling up in your cars to head out to a midnight showing of James Cameron's newest multi-hundred million dollar action movie, Avatar. I can understand why. James Cameron is one of the best directors around when it comes to action and special effects movies. This is the man that gave us Terminator 2, True Lies, Titanic, Aliens, Abyss, and many more. The special effects of Avatar seem to be amazing as well, but there's something about this movie that has failed to hook me in.

I've pinpointed what has been bothering me so much. It's the character designs. Both the avatar itself and the aliens he lives with just look... absolutely ridiculous. It's like a bad final exam for an action figure designer, who has flunked out of action figure design school and is sitting on an overturned paint bucket on the corner of an off-ramp holding a card board sign saying, "WILL DEZINE ACSHUN FIGRRS 4 FUD". I mean, honestly... am I the only one bothered by this?

Then there are the tag lines of the trailer. "Action movies will never be the same!" "Revolutionary special effects!" "So awesome, your grandmother will rise from her grave to watch it!" It's hype. It's all hype! They are hyping the crap out of this movie because they have to, not because they believe in it. It's reported to have cost 300 million dollars to make, with over 150 million to market it. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION TO MARKET THIS MOVIE! That's half the cost to make the film! You HAVE to hype this movie up, because if you don't, people won't care.

So now we have this hype machine operating at full bore. Of course, I can't accurately comment on how good the movie is, because I haven't seen it yet, and don't intend to until I can watch it for free from the library, but here's something I want to show you, obviously a product of the hype. This was taken from one of the user reviews on IMDB:

"What Cameron has done here is the most passionate film project put out since Steven Spielberg released Schindler's List."

You have got to be kidding me. Comparing a special effects movie to Schindler's List? Aliens persecuting humans and humans persucuting aliens is nothing new. There is nothing special about the story here. Humans see something they want, but aliens are living on the land, and won't let give in to the humans. The acting I've seen in the trailers so far is nothing more than standard fare. Man... what the hell is causing some people to write praise like that?

The thing is, I love special effects movies. I can forgive a lot of directors' flaws in their movies. I enjoy Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich movies. I LOVE Cameron movies... but Jesus Christ... this movie just seems so freaking wrong, and it just annoys me that I'm in the minority here. I really really really wish the creature designs weren't so horrible, because then maybe, just maybe, I could see myself being interested in it. I hate being this judgemental about a movie, because I usually have an open mind when it comes to movies, but I just have to go with how I feel on this one. I know this is the time that people are making pro-Avatar blogs, but I felt I just had to make an anti-Avatar blog to balance it out. Someone had to....

Posted Dec 17, 2009 8:29 pm PT
Category: N/A
24 Comments

16Dec 09

No More Heroes: 100 Kills Revisited

I was talking to a friend tonight about No More Heroes, and I remembered a video I took a couple of years ago that had me doing a mission where I killed 100 guys in under five minutes. I linked it to him, and then I thought I'd repost it in a blog here, and talk a little bit out it and the sequel, since it's on the horizon. The video can be found here.

http://www.gamespot.com/users/JustPlainLucas/video_player?id=IHxgnzSs5bwKvTDZ

No More Heroes was an amazing game. True, it had its faults, and yes, it was bizarre enough to scare some people away. Sadly, it was released only on the Wii, limiting its sales, which is weird, because there are so many Wiis out there! So, what happened? They're all too busy playing Wii Sports, and excercising on their Wii Fits to play a hardcore action game like this. Because of this, they are now porting to the game to the 360 and the PS3, with possibly an extra game mode.

"Foul!" cry the Nintendo fanboys. They've lost another exclusive game. Woe to them! How dare 360 and PS3 gamers have the ability to enjoy a kick ass action game! Stop being so damned selfish. You guys have the better version, because the game's designed to play with the Wii interface, and you'll be having the sequel to yourself for a good while.

Alright, so the port, tentatively titled No More Heroes: Paradise will be in HD, and I can only imagine just how awesome the game will look in HD. From a technical standpoint, the game didn't look that great on the Wii, but artistically, it was an absolute stunnder. However, for you PS3 and 360 owners, you just aren't going to be playing it the way it was meant to be played. You will lose a bit in the translation. Yes, it is a button masher, but being able to swing the remote in the direction of the finishing move does add a bit more oomf to the blow.

Anyway, I'm glad more people will get to play this game, but I strongly urge people who don't have a Wii to go out and buy one. For one, you'll have all your bases covered, so you do'nt have to worry about exclusives coming to your system of choice two years later, and for two, you'll experience the games as they were meant to be played. And since I own a Wii, I plan to buy No More Heroes 2 next month, and I'm rather excited about it!

I just want to say one last thing. I think Travis Touchdown is a great character. The first line I remember him speaking was, "****head!" His devil may care attitude and fashion sense along with his crazy tricked out light swords made him one of the funnest action heroes to play as. It was the beginning of the year of 2009 when I played this game, and I don't think I've come across a character like him since. I'm really looking forward to getting reacquainted with Mr. Touchdown next month!

Posted Dec 16, 2009 10:16 pm PT
Category: Games
14 Comments

15Dec 09

Cell phones are losing their identities

Let me introduce you to my current cell phone:

This is the LG Xenon. Touch screen, slide out QWERTY keyboard. I'm happy with it for the most part. But.. I've been doing some thinking lately. Look at this:

This is the Samsung Impression. I was talking to a patron the other day, and she pulled out her phone to look at the time, and I mistook it for a Xenon, and I said, "Is that an LG Xenon?" She lookated at my funny, and said no.

Now, take a look at this:

This is a Samsung Rogue, nearly identical to Samsung's other phone, the Impression.

It seems to be the trend today for cellphone makers to put all their buttons on a slide out keyboard and keep the surface clean and smooth for a touch screen. In doing so, the faces of these cellphones are losing their characteristics. Now, the only way to be certain what one of these phones are is to study their keyboard layout.

True, not all smartphones these days are designed this way. Some are just touch screen only, like:

The LG Vu. But then you have another phone such as the:

You really have to pay attention to the edges of the shells and their button layouts to differentiate them. Of course, you could simply turn them on and see how their interface is laid out, and that's where most of the aesthetical design comes in regarding these phones. Granted, most of the phones I've shown here have been from LG, but Samsung has made two phone almost indentical to each other as well, so it's not LG. I know there are some other companies that have made similiar looking phones, but it's almost 2 am and I don't really have the time nor mental capability to pull up any more examples. But check a Sunday paper circular, say for Best Buy, and go to their cell phone section, and you'll begin to see what i'm talking about.

Cellphones are losing their indentity to touch screen interfaces. It's becoming harder and harder by the generation to recognize what brand and model a phone is simply by the shape. Remember when you could spot a Nokia right off the bat? Now Nokias are starting to blur the lines with Motorola, and LG and Samsung seem to be Siamese twins separated at the auxiliary port. Sure, you have smartphones that set themselves apart like the Blackberry, but even then, they're going touch screen, such as the Storm:

It looks a lot like the LG Dare to me, and possibly an iPhone in a dark room.

Touch screens are awesome, and especially the slide out QWERTYs, but functionality and slick design is coming at a price: styIe. True, phones these days are styIish in their own way, but the charm and inviduality is being lost. Also, it's much harder to customize the look of somet of these phones, as faceplates really aren't commonly available for these models. They're complicated and tightly packed that even if you could find a faceplate you liked, you probably wouldn't be able to swap it out yourself without breaking something.

Anyway, I'm not really complaining about this. I'm merely just making an observation. I like my phone's design, but it just seems like too many people have a similar phone to mine, even when it's not by the same maker. Any of you feel the same?

Posted Dec 15, 2009 1:08 am PT
Category: Technology
23 Comments

14Dec 09

Is this your subtle way of telling me I su ck Nintendo?

Don't know how many people know this, but in New Super Mario Bros. Wii, there's a new feature called Super Guide. Basically what this is is a ghost of Luigi that plays through the level, showing you how to progress through it, grabbing all the coins along the way. You can of course resume control at any time, but anything he's collected won't be saved. Super Guide appears when you lose so many lives in a row.

When it does appear, there's a green ! block that appears at the beginning of the level, and it chimes at you to hit it. It sounds like a doorbell, and it doesn't stop. It's incessent. So every time you die and start over again, you are greeted by the non-stop bell ringing. Quite frankly, it gets on my nerves!

Me: Dammit! I keep dying trying to get this stupid coin!
Nintendo: Hello, Lucas. Would you like me to show you how to play the level? *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: No, that's ok. I can get it.
Nintendo: Are you sure? *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: Yep, sure.
Nintendo: Ok. *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: Yeah, whatever. *tries again* DAMMIT! Died!
Nintendo: Hello again! Want me to show you now? *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: No, that really isn't necesssary, I can do it on my own thanks!
Nintendo: Are you positively sure? *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: YES! Now leave me alone! AWWW not again!
Nintendo: Well, look who keeps dying! *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: **** off! *dies again*
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: GO AWAY! I'M TELLING YOU, I CAN DO TH----AHHHHHH!
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: I-
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: don't-
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: your-
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: HEL--- wait, I think I got it.... yes, yes, YES! NO!! HELLLLLLLLLLL!
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: I said HELL! Not help!
Nintendo: Well, can I offer a bit of advice? *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: Fine, fine, fine. WHAT?!
Nintendo: You suck, you know that, right? *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: ... You call that advice?
Nintendo: Well, it was more of an observation, really, but it's true, you do suck. *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: Oh, for the last time, **** OFF!
Nintendo: *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong* *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong* *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong* *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong* *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong* *ding dong ding dong ding ding dong*
Me: *shoots Wii*

Alright, alright, Nintendo, I get it. I SUCK!

Posted Dec 14, 2009 10:02 am PT
Category: Rant
26 Comments

13Dec 09

Xbox 360 Demo Impressions Volume 29

We don't have much to talk about this time, only four games. That's the way I like it! Yay! So anyway, the first three will be XBLA games, and the last one will be a 360 game.

Call of Duty Classic

As the Call of Duty franchise continues to evolve with Modern Warfare 2, Infinity Ward has gone back into the past by releasing their first Call of Duty title on XBLA. Call of Duty Classic is the 2003 PC game brushed up and refined in HD, and although it's not nearly as pretty as Call of Duty 2, it's still not that bad on the eyes, especially for an XBLA game. The demo gives you three segments to play, starting you in basic training, and then finishing by taking down three anti-aircraft guns. For as old as this game is, it seems to hold up pretty well, because it was one frantic moment after another when the action finally got underway. At 1200 points, it's a bit steep for casual fans, but hardcore fans of the series will do good to pick this game up. Oh, by the way, the first Call of Duty didn't have health regeneration, so they used health kits instead. I thought I'd throw that out for people who never played so they're not totally surprised.

Madden NFL Arcade

So, I'm wondering why I downloaded this. So... think of this as NFL Blitz Ultra Lite. Everything that made Blitz fun isn't present in this game. Madden NFL is meant to be played incredibly fast, which means no first downs, a field that is only 60 yards in length, and no play books at all. You only have the option to blitz or run, short, medium or long coverage or passes. Extra points are automatic, and the first to 30 points wins. The game is just way too simple for its own good, and I guess I can understand that as it's just an arcade game. Had they released a full blown game for 60 bucks, this would probably be the worst rated football game in history. I will say this much though, I can't stand EA because they didn't even let me finish one game. And 1200 points for this?! Definitely pass on this one.

QIX++

Do you remember QIX? I'm not sure many people here do. I first played QIX on an Atari platform, and what was involved in this game is that you had to draw lines across the playing field to fill in sections and pass a required percentage in order to move on to the next level. While you were drawing your lines, there were objects and enemies who could kill you by hitting your line before you completed it, or by making direct contact with your marker. QIX++ brings back the feeling of the old game very well, and does a good job with the makeover. The effects are vivid and trippy, and so is the music. The demo is very short, though, only giving me two levels, and I'm actually tempted to buy the whole game, but to be honest, it's QIX and it does get old fast. If you never tried QIX before, check it out because it's a unique experience.

Now for the 360 demo:

Fairytale Fights

Umm... where do I start? Firstly, instead of a button masher, we have a.. uh.. .analogue masher I guess? All the attack movements are mapped to the right stick, so you'll be flicking it left, right, up and down and all around to pull off moves. The level the developers decided to include in the demo isn't even a level. It's just a white room (think Matrix) where enemies keep coming, and you fight them until the time runs out. The game has this incredible cutesy charm to it... until you start dismembering, disembowling and decapitating people. There's even ultra violent finishing moves called Glory moves where your viciousness is directly proportionate of how fast you can flick the stick back and forth. I can't honestly comment on this game, because I feel the demo provided isn't very indicative of whta the game will actually be like. I can say I'm not a fan of the anologue moves, and if this is going to be an endless hack and slash.. well, I feel for the structural integrity of my analogue stick. From my understanding, the game has not faired well with critics, and I'm not completely surprised. I guess if you love gore enough to look past everything else, then by all means, give it a shot. It's plently bloody enough.

Posted Dec 13, 2009 10:18 am PT
Category: Games
11 Comments

12Dec 09

The first step is admitting you have a problem...

Hello, my name is Lucas Stephens, and I'm addicted to posting. I'm not saying this in jest. I'm actually saying this with regret. Yes, I'm actually ashamed that I'm making this blog. How the hell did this happen again? How did I end up spending hours every night on here, and then entire DAYS on my days off here? I can't believe I just sat on my ass and posted like crazy to watch my stupid post count go up.

I want my free time back. I want to finish reading my damn book that I had checked out since November 2nd. I want to finish my ****ing Kirby Super Star Ultra game that I haven't played in a week. It's a ****ing Kirby game, man. Why the **** haven't you finished it yet, loser? How's NSMBW coming? You don't know? You haven't turned your Wii on in almost a week either? What have you been doing, man? Oh, THAT thing again.

What the hell's wrong with me? How come I can never ever do anything in moderation? Why do I always have to let it get to a breaking point before I finally pump my brakes? Ugh... to think I'm spending hours at a time posting away for what, just to hit 60k? Is that going to improve my social standing in life? Hell no, in fact, it's detracting from it.

You know I've caught myself doing? Quotting people one at a time. Yes, instead of quotting three at a time like I used to, I've been doing it one at a time, because it helped raise my post count. It's how a lot of these top posters get their posts counts; one quote at a time. And do you know what else I was about to do? I was about to turn sigs off just so everything could load faster, so I could post faster. Hah, no. I'm not going to let it get to that point.

I'm not getting anything done. I used to write tons of reviews for this place. Sure, it involves me being on GS, but I am doing a creative hobby. I am writing, keeping my brain sharp, using my talent. I shouldn't keep track of my post counts, because honestly, they're meaningless. The only stats I should be keeping track of are the numbers of blogs I make, and the number of reviews I write, because it takes a HELL of a lot more work to have high numbers in those areas. Anyone can hit 10k or 100k if they chose to do nothing else.

No offense to you crazy posting machines out there. You guys live for that, and that's fine. It's fun for you, and it means more to you, but honestly, it's just not me anymore, never has been. When I hit 60k, I'm still going to throw a post party, but I want to CARE about it this time. I don't want to feel I spammed my way there, of course it might have already been too late for that. Anyway, I have a three day weekend starting tomorrow. **** spending 72 hours here. **** that.

Posted Dec 12, 2009 12:07 am PT
Category: Rant
25 Comments

10Dec 09

I have been with the library for over two years now

Let me do a little backstory for those unfamiliar with my association with the library. It was approaching the fall of 2007, and I was still unemployeed. My mom has a good friend who works in the library, and she suggested that I volunteer, and get my foot in the door, just in case there are any job openings. So I did, and about a month or two later, there was an opening for a shelver position, and I applied, and got it. I was hired in October of 2007.

Now it is December of 2009. I've learned all about libraries, and about how they've changed. I've learned a lot about how people use the libraries, and how uncaring some of them are. l've experienced the city budget crisis first hand, and I've seen my home branch rennovated. I have lost about 75 pounds since I started working for the library, and I've read about 50 books and watched god knows how many DVDs and listened to just as many CDs for free. It has been an experience to say the least. I decided I want to write a bullet list of things that I've learned or witnessed at the library, so here it goes:

Patrons have the right to view pornography on public computers. Yes, this may shock you, but it's a right that's protected by the Free Information Act. Basically, it's illegal to deny a person the use of a computer to look up pornographic materials. This act clashes with the Child Safety Policy the library enforces, though, and it's been a constant tug of war between legal departmens. So what they've done is filter all public computers except at two branches, which then have privacy screens on them. I still get shocked when I get an email informing us of a patron banned for masturbating while viewing pornograhic material.
The library is no longer a quite place. Remember when you got sushed at the library for speaking above an audible level? Well, most libraries nowadays don't tell people to be quiet, unless they are absolutely unruly. The higher ups want to the library to viewed as a place of social gathering. No, this is a LIBRARY! You come to learn, not to chat with your friends. It's not just kids, usually, it's the parents that can really be loud, especially when they're on their cell phones.
I have seen more butt crack than a plumber's convention. Seriously, are people completley unware that their entire backside is exposed when they crouch down to grab a book from a shelf?
People can't read. *knock knock* "Are you open" "No! Our sign says we're closed Wednesdays!" "Where's your bathroom?" "The sign says downstairs!"
The Central branch downtown attracts weirdos. I was approached by a stranger asking me for weed.
Kids have no idea what order is. Neither do parents. Most of the time, it's the parents who put things back wrong.
I am severely underpaid for the work I do.
People have no idea how obnoxious they are being when they're going through my shelving cart taking things from it.

Well, I thought I'd have more, but I'm starting to draw blanks now. Anyway, I did get a few things of my chest, so I suppose this blog has been somewhat successful. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to what next year has to offer, though. It involves me having to go to another branch twice a week, and I really dislike doing that, but hey... it's a job... I guess.

Posted Dec 10, 2009 9:27 pm PT
Category: N/A
35 Comments

7Dec 09

Just Plain Loungin' has hit 10k!

The UCB I started back in January has finally exceeded 10,000 posts. As with every milestone, a party was needed, so here it is!

http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=27122053&msg_id=318205118#318205118

Please stop by if you can, and leave a comment. Also, for the ones who've never been to my board at all, you are more than welcome to check the place out. There are also sorts of different threads that you can reply in. Don't be bashful. The place is very relaxed.

Posted Dec 7, 2009 6:44 am PT
Category: N/A
22 Comments

6Dec 09

The Real Meaning of the Tortoise and the Hare

I'd like to see if I can garner your attention for a minute or two
I want to demystify a fable that has been told to quite a few
It's about the opposition of a tortoise and hare
Don't know if any would pick up, notice or care
But there's a meaning that was never really grasped
After I bring it to light, I'm sure some will have gasped
So let's begin with how the story began, and that's with the rabbit
The hopster was a fast one and bragging about it, his habit
Until one day, a tortoise was annoyed by this bunny
He found the braggart more obnoxious than funny
So he walked up to the hare, and challenged him to a race
The rabbit was puzzled, and then laughed in his face
The tortoise cut him off and said, "My name is Slow and Steady.
I'll be waiting at the starting line. Let me know when ready."
The hare finally gave in, and figured, "What do I have to lose?
I'll probably be so far ahead, I can lay down for a snooze."
And that's exactly what happened, because right out of the gate
The hare sprinted away, and dust was all the tortoise had ate.
With such a considerable lead, the hare decided on his nap
And this is the moment when the tortoise took him for a sap
Slow and Steady trotted along and approached the finish line
While the hare talked in his sleep, "The race, this is mine."
Suddenly, the hare snapped out of it to see his mistake
Sleeping on his job, when he should have been wide awake
He tried to catch up, running with a mighty huff and a puff
But the tortoise had already finished, it wasn't enough
Slow and Steady laughed at the hare, "I showed you, didn't I?"
Well, Slow and Steady didn't win the race, and this is why.
The tortoise was an opportunist and took advantage
He would not have won under normal circumstances
As far as I'm concerned, he's nothing but a cheat
And should be cooked in a bowl of soup to eat
The hare talked a good game about how he was that fast
But blew it and went from jackrabbit to simply jackass
So here is the real meaning to this Aesop fable bull
Always crush your competition when you're fully capable

Posted Dec 6, 2009 12:34 am PT
Category: Writing
17 Comments

4Dec 09

I've said it once, and I'll say it again... there's a first for everything

I've never had a comment thumbed down to the point where it got hidden.

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6241974.html?tag=latestheadlines%3Btitle%3B2&page=1

If you can't find it, I said "WTF is May Payne.. " Last I checked, it's 6 positive, 13 negative. I never thought I'd even get one thumb down, because I was making fun of the GameSpot news article header typo. Why on Earth would you thumb that down, unless...

A) You work for GameSpot, and don't like seeing people make fun of your unprofessionalism
B) Have poor reading comprehension and thinking I was asking "WTF is Max Payne..."
C) You've been cursed by an 83 year old gypsie because you accidentally stepped on her while she was lying on the street, and you went to see a psychic who told you the only way to alleviate the curse is to log on to GameSpot and thumb down JustPlainLucas's comment on the news article "May Payne 3 delayd"

I'm actually kinda proud of this. I think I may have the complete cycle now. I have had posts removed and topics locked with no warning. I've been moderated with warnings and point losses. I've been suspended and banned. I've been moderated for abusing the report feature (which was a mistake). Now I can add having a comment hidden by comment-rating trigger-happy users. Seriously, I don't think there's anything else that GameSpot can do to me now!

Posted Dec 4, 2009 8:59 am PT
Category: N/A
26 Comments

3Dec 09

A Fool

What kind of a fool do you take me for?
Did you not think I would piece it together
You may have fooled me earlier
But I doubt you can fool me forever
You may have fooled everyone else
But they'll realize one way or the other
You can't drown out the light of intelligence
Even when you chose ignorance to smoother
You're just going to have to find a new sap
Because I surely won't be the butt of a joke
At least I still can maintain my dignity
While all you can do is choke on your smoke
The problem with the smoke screens you see
Is that eventually they begin to dissipate
But don't worry about finally being exposed
It was only a matter of time, this is fate.
It's surprising how quick one can turn on you
When finally they realize that the truth is out
You're thinking you have it all wrapped up
But the fight degrades into a losing bout
So I'm done with you, you can go find another fool
I'm not falling for your tricks and schemes
And if you think you can do this to me again?
Haha, yeah right buddy. In your dreams...

Posted Dec 3, 2009 12:01 am PT
Category: Writing
17 Comments

1Dec 09

It seems Nintendo's losing steam

Their sales dropped during the Thanksgiving shopping period.

I wonder why that is... Hmm... lack of games maybe? Lack of online? Gimmick losing its novelty? Or maybe their targeted demographic is finally reaching its peak, and they can't sell to many more suckers. This was only inevitable, really. I mean, when the Wii first launched, it had the momentum of a runaway freight train, but that train is starting to run out of track.

Nintendo, your cheap tricks aren't working anymore. You've played mainly to one side of the game, the extreme casuals and non-gamers, ever since you released the Wii. You need to start playing on the other side now. There are millions of gamers you lost in exchange for the others you were trying to attract, and now your sales are proof that you won't be able to attract that much more. Wake the **** up, Nintendo, and get some of us back.

People still believe in you, but you really don't make it that much easier. People WANT to believe in you, but when you pull stupid **** like releasing New Super Mario Bros. Wii with no online, it makes us go, "WTF?" Your stupid ass friend code system makes us go, "WTF?" Spending more time and money on porting old GameCube games when you SHOULD be making new ones makes us go, "WTF?" The Vitality Sensor is a MAJOR "WTF?"

I have to really kick myself in the ass that I still want to keep my Wii because of they release a game every other month that I want. I'm actually a victim of Nintendo's narcissism. Some guy in Nintendo said one day, "We are Nintendo. We can do whatever we want. We want to attract a whole bunch of non-gamers and casuals, and so long as we throw a game or two out every so often for the hardcores, we can keep at least of few of those suckers." Yeah, I'm one of those suckers.

This really isn't good news, even if Nintendo deserved it or not. And now it makes me wonder what they're going to do next. Are they going to finally wake up and realize they need shift their thinking and seriously compete with MS and Sony in the hardcore aspect of the industry? Or are they going to keep trying new things to attract even more non-gamers, which is now proving to be a limited market? I dunno, Nintendo has really shown us over the past few years that it's more stubbern than a bull...

Posted Dec 1, 2009 7:48 am PT
Category: News
27 Comments

29Nov 09

"Are you not entertained!"

Sometimes, I'm begin to wonder if we are more cynical than we are critical. What I mean is let's say Hollywood comes out with a new blockbuster, clearly with the intent to razzle and dazzle the senses with amazing special effects and gigantic explosions. Take Transformers 2 for instance. I expected big giant robots destroying things, and that's what I got. I was happy. In fact, I was giddy! And you know something, I love Michael Bay movies. I even liked The Island. There, I said. I LIKED THE ISLAND!

I just read a blog review of Ninja Assassin by worthyofnote, and you know something, I think this guy gets it. I haven't seen the movie myself, but from what I saw from the previews, it looks like nothing more than a martial arts gorefest. Upon reading his blog, it seems that's what it is. And you know something else? That's what I want. I just want to see kick ass action and limbs flying. Don't really care for much else.

Let me also bring up 2012. Rotten Tomatoes is currently scoring it at a 37% I haven't seen the movie yet, but I know EXACTLY what to expect from Roland Emmerich, and that's extinction level event world disaster movies with amazing special effects. 2012 WILL entertain me, regardless of what other aspects of the movie might be flawed. There is a part of me that can shut my brain off and just enjoy the ****ing movie. I don't want Shakespeare in movies like these. Leave the "intellectual" movies to the indie studios.

Also, I think some of us have the wrong disposition when approaching movie-based games. Yes, for the most part, they're below average, but also keep in mind that a lot of these games, usually the ones based off animated movies, are geared to younger kids. Whereas the "hardcore" gamers will see problems with the game and slam it, the younger kids may not care and are able to have fun because they're not being overly cynical. It's amazing how much you can enjoy something if you just keep an open mind. Heh, I'm 30 and I'm STILL trying to learn this.

Now, I am not going to be holier than thou, because I've been cynical myself. Sometimes when I'm being critical, I don't realize how much personal bias I am putting into something, and then the cynicism comes out. I try very hard to keep it at bay in my reviews, though, because I strive for professionalism, but you tell me that you enjoyed Twilight and New Moon in a casual discussion, and I'll laugh my ****ing ass off at you. I really shouldn't, though. I mean hey, if you liked the movie, more power to you.

It's just the misconceptions that I wish critics would throw out of the window. They need to stop expecting Oscar worthy movies from every single film they watch. They need to understand what a big budget summer blockbuster really is, and try watching it through the casual film goer's eyes instead of pandering to their fellow movie snobs when they write their reviews. Now, I can understand people slamming the Genre Movies, because for the most part, their humor really fails. Blast it for what it's trying to do, and fails horribly at. DON'T blast it for what it's trying to do, when you want it to be trying to do something else.

It really seems to me that some critics look forward to going to see some movies they know will be bad just so they can rip it to shreds. It's like, they get off on it, or they think they're so full of themselves, their word is the only acceptable word, and if you disagree, then you have no taste and your opinions don't matter. Or, they get pissed off at the movie for wasting their money when they know they shouldn't have gone to see it in the first place. "Are you not entertained?" That's really not the question some people should ask themselves. They should ask, "Will you allow yourself to be entertained?"

Posted Nov 29, 2009 4:17 pm PT
Category: N/A
18 Comments

27Nov 09

MattyKovax has been banned...

MattyKovax, friend of mine and once GameSpot moderator, has been banned. Here is his banned thread in OT:

http://uk.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=27113316&msg_id=317963557#317963557

This blog is NOT meant to rally against the mods, so please do not say anything negative about them or their decision to ban him. Regardless if you think it was fair or not, please refrain from commenting in that manner. Anyway, from what I've heard, he got drunk during Thanksgiving and threatened another user, which prompted him getting banned. If that really is the case, then dammit... That is so sad. The thing is, he was a mod and he definitely should have known better, and I even think drunken posting was what got him in trouble in the first place and cost him his modship.

Matty was an all around great user to post with. Sure, he had his flaws, but the thing about Matty is that he was always regretful for anything wrong he did, and he really tried to turn himself around. I guess if he was ever an ass to anyone, he never meant it because wasn't a born ass. He loved talking to people, and he really cared about the community. When he was feeling fine, he was one of the nicest users I knew. He's also had a hard life, with some health problems if I remember correctly, and GameSpot was sort of like his lifeline. I know he's going to take this extremely hard.

Will he ever come back? I dunno. I mean, I was an ex-mod and I got banned, and I came back, but my ban was under completely different circumstances, a mistake that got cleared up. I don't know if Customer Service will want to give Matty a second chance. I really hope they do, because GS meant a lot to him, and I know many users will want to see him back, but the will of the people isn't enough. I'm not going to hold my breath for a reversal, but that doesn't mean I can't still hope it happens.

Matty, I'm gonna miss you, buddy. Please take care of yourself.

Matty has started two unions that I know of. Please join them if you can.

The Real OT (Invite only)
GameSpot Bloggers United

Posted Nov 27, 2009 8:34 am PT
Category: N/A
41 Comments

26Nov 09

Xbox 360 Demo Impressions Volume 28

Finally, I'm doing one of these things when I only have just three games to talk about. That's how I like to do them! All three of these games are 360 demos. Let's get started.

Bayonetta

Oh... my...god.... Do you remember the awe that the first Devil May Cry invoked in you? This game brings back that feeling ten fold. The game is amazingly stylish, breathtakinginly beautiful and incredibly brutal. The combat system is loads of fun. You have your basic quick and strong attacks, an special action button, and a jump button of course. You can also swap between different weapons, and pick up special weapons on the ground. When you attack, you have a magic meter that fills up, and when full, you can unleash painful looking torture attacks. Of course, the meter depletes when you get attacks, so it's all about keeping up the offense, while hitting R to evade. Do it just right, and you slow down time on your enemies. The game gives you real boss fight to experience, and when you bring its health all the way down, you can unleash a jaw-dropping finisher called a Climax. It's amazingly savage. This girlis MEAN!

I have some issues, though. You don't get health items very much, but so is the nature of the hardcore action genre. I also had some problems with the camera in the first segment, so it was really hard to anticipate attacks and evade from them, which meant my magic meter kepting emptying. I also know this is going to be one of those non-sensical action games that barely has a story, and I know that's just how the genre is, but just one of these days, I'd like to see a game such as this have a well-told story instead of just throwing you in crazy situations just so you can kill whatever's there. Anyway, the demo is great, and left an excellent impression. I plan to get this game when I can.

Left 4 Dead 2

Two words just made this game a million times more fun: melee weapons. One word in particular made it a million more times fun on top of that:machete. Valve, it's about ****ing time! The machete is so awesome, I don't know where to begin. Only thing it isn't good for is killing boomers. Anyway, I played single player, and it's nice to know the CPU players are still pretty competent. The game has new zombie types and new items, and of course new weapons. The game's graphics still aren't as great as they should be, considering Valve is still using the same old Counter Strike engine, but it moves so smoothly, so it's easy to forgive. I still hate the fact that you can't heal yourself back up to 100 percent, and I also still hate the fact that there is no self-perservation. If I have a machete, I should be able to cut that smoker's tongue myself when I'm grabbed instead of waiting for help that never came. Valve still has several things they can improve on if they make a third game, but they've definitely improved in the sequel.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2

Now let me just start off by saying that I loved the first M:UA, so I was expecting big things from the sequel. The first thing I'm going to comment on is the graphics. Something can be lost in realism, and that's what happened here. I honestly don't think it looks half as good as the first game, even though technically, the graphics have been improved. It's lost a LOT of charm going for ultra-realistic, and that's a shame. Anyway, it seems to play like the first game, but now you can fuse powers with another teammate for some interesting combination attacks. The demo ends withyou fighting Deadpool as your boss enounter. It's nice to know Deadpool is still funny as ****! The story is going to be about the Civil War, so thatshould mean the game will have an excellent story. I loved the story of the first game. But man, I was just hoping for more from this game. I'll still get it eventually, though.

Posted Nov 26, 2009 12:39 pm PT
Category: N/A
12 Comments

24Nov 09

From Riches to Rags

This a short rap story about a man who was once rich, but has now hit rock bottom.

I used to live the American dream, I had it all
But America became a nightmare, and I had a fall
I had my own business, and it was so successfull
But it collapsed under the economy, and now it's so stressful
Had to file bankruptcy, had to sell my car and phone
Now I'm lost, struggling and feel so far from home
I remember not even looking at the price on my Porshe
Now I'm wondering if a bus pass is something I can even afford
It was amazinghow fast things took a turn for the worse
Must have pissed off a gypsie, cuz it seems I burn from curse
Used to eat steak and lobster about every single day
Now I'm lucky to scrounge up enough change for a bag of Frito Lays
My wardrobe used to have Armani and Guccis as my staples
Mahogany and cherry tree wood made up my coffee tables
Now all my clothes shopping is done at a thrift store
And my current coffee table is a fruit crate. I am this poor.
I used to buy whatever I wanted with a couple pieces of plastic
But now I recycle it for a few bucks, measures have gotten drastic
It just goes to show you that nothing in life is secure
You can go from being the **** to smelling like manure
You can have masters degrees and business licenses
But all that doesn't account for much when life is ****.
Your customers can't afford your products and services.
You used to be confident, now all you feel is nervousness.
I did all I could, but I failed. What the hell's wrong with me?
Nothing at all, just a poor victim of this rotten econonmy.
I used to sleep posh in a king size, now it's a sofa bed
Now I'm at the market using food stamps for a loaf of bread.
All this pain and stress just makes me hold my head
Please don't wish my luck. All I want is a bit of hope instead.

Thanks for reading. I know it's not perfect, but I just wanted to show you guys that rap can be used as story telling for things other than guns, drugs and women.

Posted Nov 24, 2009 11:17 pm PT
Category: N/A
20 Comments

23Nov 09

Xbox 360 Demo Impressions Volume 27

Well, it's that time again. Lucas has let his demos back up on him once again, so we'll have seven games to talk about. The first four will be XBLA games and the next three will be 360 games.

0D Beat Drop

This rhythm based puzzle game is a vibrant one. The graphics are full of neon lights, and the music is catchy and very upbeat. And speaking of beats, they are very important in this game. In order to clear out your pieces, you have to drop them in time with the beat of the music. There is a beat slider that acts as sort of a metronome that helps you to figured out when you need to drop the pieces. The controller is also constantly vibrating, keeping in beat with the music. From what I've played of the demo, though, it seems this is one of those puzzle games where you're always competing against the computer, or another person. I don't know if there's a marathon mode or what, but as it stands, I'd rather just play Lumines or Meteos.

D i n e r D a s h

It was only a matter of time until this game made its way to XBLA. I've played this game on a couple of cell phones, and on the DS, and to be honest, it doesn't translate that well here. You have to move Flo around in order to seat people, pick up orders, deliver food, etc. It's much faster and easier to play this on a phone, or the DS. It's nice to see it in 3D, but that doesn't necessarily make it better. The far off tables can be a bit hard to see what's going on. The demo also doesn't let you play career, only Endless Shift, and I didn't even get to play it for the full 10 minutes.. Unless you're a Diner Dash fanatic, there's really no need to get this version. Just keep playing it on your phone, or get it for the DS.

Encleverment Experiment

This XBLA game is a brain teaser/game show type game. You start by selecting your XBL avatar, and then select an animal avatar to accompany you, where you compete with up to three other players. The demo only offers one mode, which is the game show, and the game show is broken up into three rounds. Each round has a different brain teaser, and the first person who chimes in with the correct answer wins points. Each round consists of five turns. In the third round, if you answer correctly before someone else answers correctly, you steal their points. The game's presentation is cute and a little charming, but the game itself isn't entirely thrilling. But if you have a lot of friends who enjoy brain teaser games, you might have fun with them playing this game. 800 points is a bit steep though.

Gyromancer

This is a puzzle/RPG hybrid, similar to Puzzle Quest. You start out on a map, and when you come to an enemy encounter, you can pick one of three beasts to summon and enter puzzle combat. There are an assortment of jewels on the playing field, and you can rotate them in groups of four to match them up in vertical or hortizontal lines of three or more. When you clear lines, you add points to your special attacks, and you execute them when you use an action gem in a clearing, thus delivering damage to your opponent. It has a rather nice presentation, and the gameplay can definitely be addictive, because when the trial ended on me, I went, "NOOO!" I do want to play more of this, but I just can't afford the points right now. Do try this one out, though.
Now for the 360 games.

Jurassic: The Hunted

You know what I can't stand when it comes to demos? When there is no demo of the single-player campaign. That's what I make my judgements on when I consider purchasing the game. Jurassic: The Hunted only lets you play a mode called Survivor. It pits you at a fort, and you fend out wave after wave of dinosaurs, and you'd think that would be fun, right? Well, all these weapons and items it gives you doesn't matter at all, because all you need is to hunker down at machine gun and just shoot everything in front of you. In between rounds, you can repair all your windows and whatnot, but my god, this mode is just so pitifully boring! THIS is what you chose for your demo? THIS is what you sent out for potential buyers to experience? Is your single-player campaign even more boring than this, is that why you chose not to include it? It's very bad in my eyes, because it makes it seem likethe developers have something to hide. I'm definitely passing on this game.

MX Vs ATV Reflex

Let me just say that playing this demo stopped my current download. WTF for!? I hate that crap. Anyway, this game is a mess, literally. It has a very steep learning curve, which translates into a ton of crashes, which translates to you always being last, which translates to you always being frustrated, which translates to you having no fun. The game has a mechanic called Rider Reflex, which has you using the right stick in conjunction with the left stick to steer. Using the right stick, you can lean forward or backward to alter tire traction and jump angles, and right or left for sharper or wider turns. The problem is, until you actually master this, if it's possible, you might as well be running in dress shoes on an ice covered air-inflated castle. The slightest incline or crash can send you flying if you take it wrong. Oh yeah, and if you don't nail a landing just right, your rider will start losing his balance, and you'll be prompted to hit a direction to save himself. Don't even get me started on the horrible trick system. If you can even pull off the trick you want, good luck pitching your front end back down to land the jump. If you want an off-road game, check out Pure. It is MUCH better.

Tropico 3

This game's sorta like Sim City meets the Tropics. There's a lot of micro management to be had here, and it has sorta of a revolutionary theme to it. You have to keep the people happy, or they'll rise up against you. The demo makes it seem like the campaign will take place during all sorts of different time periods, and as such, you can select an avatar for your presidente. Yes, you can even play as Fidel Castro. I tried playing this demo too late at night, and it was just too much to take in. There's simply a ton you can do in this game. If you like world simulation games, this might be one you may want to check out.

Posted Nov 23, 2009 9:47 pm PT
Category: N/A
10 Comments

20Nov 09

99 Extra Lives on the Wall

99 extra lives on the wall
99 extra lives
You take one down and pass it around
98 extra lives on the wall

98 extra lives on the wall
98 extra lives
You take one down and pass it around
97 extra lives on the wall

97 extra lives on the wall
97 extra lives
You take one down and pass it around
96 extra lives on the wall

96 extra lives on the wall
96 extra lives
You... well, you get the idea

I got 99 lives in New Super Mario Bros. Wii, and well, there are moments whereyou're glad you have that many lives.

Posted Nov 20, 2009 9:51 pm PT
Category: N/A
14 Comments

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