As a frequent traveler I often have to listen to non-frequent travelers "horror stories" and they often end with something like "...and so we sat on the tarmac for 30 minutes". I then pause for a moment and then expect the story to go on and get interesting but after the moment passed I just realized I wasted time listening to a story that has happened to me hundreds of time. I am often mystified at the passengers ready to start a revolt because the pilot mentioned we need to wait 10 minutes to park at the gate. If you booked your connecting flight so close that 10 minutes means you will miss your flight, you are a moron that deserves to spend a night at the airport. At the company I work for, everyone travels and when we have a few drinks and swap stories you really hear some interesting stuff. Here are two of mine:

Clippy
I was lucky to grab a bulkhead row and an empty middle seat to boot. I was in for what I thought was a good flight. I am reading my magazine when I hear the unmistakable noise of finger nail clippers. (This was pre-9/11 so this dangerous weapon was allowed.) I look over and sure enough the guy is clipping his finger nails. I was like "that is pretty gross" but I continued to read. Then I noticed him take off his shoes. I was like "he better not be doing what I think he is going to do". Sure enough toenail clippings were bouncing off the bulkhead wall sometimes coming dangerously close to me. I was secretly wanting a clipping to hit my leg so I could have an excuse to sock him in the head.

Second Cla$$
I am again sitting in bulkhead, because flights from New York are impossible to upgrade because there are too many rich people who actually waste money on first cla$$ seats. We are sitting on the tarmac on a weather delay and the tape of Everyone Loves Raymond I have seen 100 times is playing. People are getting restless and starting to wander the aisles. From first cla$$ comes a young richly dress woman with a small toy dog in a matching outfit. She introduces the dog to everyone and I am like "that's fine she is looking for attention and it is all very amusing." Shortly after the introductions she puts down a diaper mat for the dog to go to the bathroom. Quickly the flight attendant tells her that she needs to have the dog relieve itself in the bathroom. I realize that she went back to coach not to talk to us but because she thought it would be inappropriate to have the dog go to the bathroom in first cla$$ but it seemed OK for the dog to pee among us commoners in coach. I am sure she thought it was noble of her to introduce the dog to the poor before we watched it defecate.

Note: I have to use cla$$ becaue of the crappyness of the GameSpot editor.