- EmPonesix
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- Member since: Dec 14, 2004
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EmPonesix's Blog
If you're here by accident, I apologise for the lack of interesting blogging. I blame the second paragraph.
www.HonestGamers.com keeps me too busy to be social. Expect more of an effort to be made in the New Year when my workload should be decresed. Or, should you have come across this blog out of bordem, check the site out and let me know how much of my effort actually pays off! P.S Coming soon: HonestGamers.co.uk. Oh joy, more work.....
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27Dec 08
It's almost a year ago, and New Year Resolutions are being spat out. Trying to pick an easy one, a slightly-younger EmP decided that he will review a game for every letter of the alphabet. It will be easy, thinks he, as his website grows in fame and more and more publishers send him titles to cover, surely the games will fall from the very skies with the letters he needs to complete this task.
He was a fool.
A lot of games seem to start with S. A surprising amount start with A. With only five days to go, an obscure Mega Drive title starting with Z saved me from failure. Though I'm sure a sum total of zero people will read this, I started the year with the claim that this'd be done, and I'm a sucker for ensuring closure.
My list for 2008 as is follows:
# is for 7 Sins
A is for Ark of Time & Art of Fighting Anthology & Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None & Ankh: Curse of the Scarab King & Alisia Dragoon
B is for Brian Lara International Cricket 2007 & Bomberman Land Touch! 2 & Bomberman Land & Boing! Docomodake
C is for Crazy Pig
D is for Dracula: Origin & Dream Pinball 3D & Doom 3 & Doodle Hex
E is for Everquest II: Rise of Kunark & The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
F is for: Final Fantasy Tactics & Fantasy Wars & Football Director DS
G is for Guilty Gear XX: Accent Core
H is for Hurry Up Hedgehog
I is for: Indigo Prophecy
J is for Jewel Quest: Expeditions
K is for Kolibri
L is for Lord of the Rings: The Third Age
M is for Mass Effect & Monster Madness & Mah Jong Quest: Expeditions
N is for: No More Heroes & Nightmare Circus
O is for Operation Thunderbolt
P is for Prism: Light the Way & Political Machine 2008, The & PDC Darts 2008 (360) & PDC Darts 2008 (PSP) & Pony Luv
Q is for Quake III: Arena
R is for R-Type III & Revolution X
S is for Sam & Max 202 & 203 & 204 & 205 & Shadowgrounds: Survivor & Splatterhouse & Secret Files: Tunguska, The & SNK Arcade ****cs Vol. 1
T is for Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter & Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter 2
U is for Utawarerumono
V is for Virtua Fighter CG Portrait Series Vol. 1: Sarah Bryant
W is for World Snooker Championship: Season 2007-08 & Wow
X is for X COM: Terror from the Deep Y is for Ys Strategy
Z is for Zoom!
And now I get to do it all over again. Have a happier new year than I'll probably have, phantom readers.
- Posted Dec 27, 2008 9:00 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 0 Comments
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27Sep 08
Nighthmare Circus is the one hundred and fiftieth review I have written for that site that won't let me stop writing. Oh God, please make it stop!
I'm not sure if it's fitting or disappointing that this figure was reached through what is probably the worst game I will ever play. There's a very cruel joke being played out there and, somehow, I'm the punchline.
- Posted Sep 27, 2008 7:26 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 2 Comments
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21Aug 08
It's hard not to take some kind of twisted pleasure when one of your reviews has the following printed directly underneath its header:
9 out of 47 users agree with this review
I choose to record this figure so I may look back in a number of months and find out how this figure has grown.
I get kicks out of the weirdest stuff.
- Posted Aug 21, 2008 10:27 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 2 Comments
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23Jul 08
I decided that for my resolution ths year, I'd set myself the dumb target of having a review up for every letter of the alphabet. (Spoilers: I'm beating Ben). My last update here was at the end of Januray and proclaimed a solid start of five letters. I've painstakingly increased this number:
A is for Ark of Time & Art of Fighting Anthology & Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None
B is for Brian Lara International Cricket 2007 & Bomberman Land Touch! 2 & Bomberman Land
C is for Crazy Pig
D is for Dracula: Origin
E is for Everquest II: Rise of Kunark
F is for: Final Fantasy Tactics & Fantasy Wars
G is for Guilty Gear XX: Accent Core
H is for Hurry Up Hedgehog
M is for Mass Effect
N is for: No More Heroes
O is for Operation Thunderbolt
P is for Prism: Light the Way
R is for R-Type III & Revolution X
S is for Sam & Max 202 & 203 & 204 & 205 & Shadowgrounds: Survivor & Splatterhouse & Secret Files: Tunguska, The
T is for Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter
U is for Utawarerumono
V is for Virtua Fighter CG Portrait Series Vol. 1: Sarah Bryant
W is for World Snooker Championship: Season 2007-08
Y is for Ys Strategy
Think it's fair to say I'm right on track.
- Posted Jul 23, 2008 12:24 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 5 Comments
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20Jun 08
Ages back now I was offered the chance to send a Q&A sheet to Bill Tiller. If you've never heard of him, he had a big hand in a lot of the classic Lucusarts stuff. He's been kicking around the industry for a while now, taking jobs in places like Midway before surging out on his own to make Vampyre Story. I bit at the chance, but Jason decided that most of my hard work was to die and wiped my site e-mail address so I had to pen it all again last minute.
I've never really thought of myself as an interview guy, so I had mad worries I would mess this up somehow. Bill turned out to be a really cool guy, though, and I'm stoked that I got my own sketch attached to the end of the interview. Check it out at the bottom of the page, it looks awesome. You can find my initial foray into interviewing the stars by following the link. Maybe someday someone will let me do it again.
- Posted Jun 20, 2008 12:30 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 2 Comments
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19Jun 08
I do that sometimes. With the oddest thing. I swear, I was staring at a smoothie maker for an hour last night trying to figure out what the hell it was and what it was doing in my kitchen.
Obligitory "I'll try and use this more" comment that not even I expect to follow up on seems the next order of buisness. Also, Ben, review someting!
There. That should smoother this page with a false veneer of life.
- Posted Jun 19, 2008 9:21 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 5 Comments
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27Jan 08
It's simple, really; you just make them revolve around something you'll probably do anyway. Hence why i have made two.
The Obligatory: Drop Some Weight.
This always sounds noble, but it's an easy one for me. Now that I've had my kneecap repaired from the latest heartbreaking injury to taint my flagging athletic career, I can play football at a much more regular basis. While it's time to hang up the boots in playing at any level other than amateur, it still means a lot of running around, and, thus, a natural drop in the paunch Xmas started to produce. And when this does happen, I get to act smug.
The Professional: Review a Game Starting with Every Letter in the Alphabet.
I figured out that I penned a little under 60 reviews last year, so the way I figure it, this kind of self challenge completes itself for the most part. Last year, I penned double the number of letters in the alphabet, so a lot of the work will be completed via serendipity through reviews I plan to write anyway. It might mean that by the end of the year, I'll need to contribute an extra few reviews for maybe Z, Y or #, but it's a nice goal to work towards, one I hope to take up annually. And, again, when I complete it, I will act very smug. So much so I've turned it into a kind of challenge which I will extend over to all three people who read my blog. It's all written up here.
Already in the year, I've managed to cover five letters:
A is for Ark of Time
B is for Brian Lara International Cricket 2007
C is for Crazy Pig
E is for Everquest II: Rise of Kunark
W is for World Snooker Championship: Season 2007-08Resolutions aren't about personal achievement and reaching goals. They're about smugness.
- Posted Jan 27, 2008 1:16 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 2 Comments
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3Jan 08
It's taken me more hours than I care to count (mainly because the idea of spending so many hours bent over the computer typing away like a loon would scare me to my very core) but I recently complied a summery of what I'd been up to over 2007 in the world of video game reviewing. Well, that's a lie, it's only the online aspect, as it's hard to link in to printed work, but you get the idea. I've been penning out recaps of the year since the dawn of time (read: 2003) and this has been by far the busiest year yet. I deicded to copy over my findings here on the offchance that someone would find it of interest, even knowing in my heart that no one would.
Howevere, it was not to be. I was given the following warning when I hit up my blog and pasted the entry in:
The maximum allowed size for a message is 20000 characters. your message is 42645 characters long.
Ooops.
So, instead, I will supply the the link that leads to it. Tremble, brief mortals at its mammoth size!
Not a one of you will make it to the end alive.
- Posted Jan 3, 2008 10:21 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 3 Comments
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2Dec 07
Honeycomb Beat (DS) November 6th
This was purely written on the publisher's request as both Jason and Pup have a review up for this game already. Three staff reviews and no users, odd. Anyway, this meant that saying something new about it wasn't really going to happen, so I didn't bother checking on the aforementioned pair of reviews and just wrote. It's a puzzle game review, so it's not going top be my best thing ever, but it is adequate.
The jellyfish pic used to be the paragraph that you'd see on the game's data page, but this made Jason uncomfortable. Probably because it upstaged the hell out of review effort!
Sam & Max 201: Ice Station Santa (PC) November 11th
Just when you think you're free from a series....
Don't get me wrong, I love playing the new Sam & Max games, but writing about them gets harder and harder each review - and this is my 8th review! I'm enjoying the games far too much to let some other slacker take the contract, though.
The new series seems to have a few key differences from the last, including an effort to drag in new players, so perhaps I'll have something new to write about. Here's hoping.
Escape from Paradise City (PC) November 18th
Martine was set to review this one, so it was posted to him. He couldn't play it on his laptop. So I offered it to new boy PAJ89, but he was busy with exams. Trying to get Ben to review a PC game these days is an exercise in frustration, so I gave up and did it myself. Pretty glad I did. The game's actually a lot more fun that I imagined and is probably the best of its kind since Syndicate back in '93. There are a lot of good ideas within so I'm hopeful to see more from the developers in the future.
Luminious Ark (DS) November 25th
When I originally asked for a review code of this game, I was told I couldn't have one and was sent Valhalla Knights and Honeycomb Beat instead. It was only after the PR firm employed a new guy who actually came out and asked me if I wanted a copy that one arrived. The game then got busy taking over my life.
I took it to my football matches and played it at half time. I took it to the gym to play on the treadmill a few times. Hell, I kept it on my bike and barely resisted the urge to play at red lights. It's a great game and one I'm still playing via the new game + mode.
Best thing I've played on the DS bar none. But the review was tricky because it does have some rather glaring problems that needed to be addressed and not skipped over so I could praise the hell out of it. Everything considered, I'm very happy with how this one came out.
Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS) November 30th
So, this one was kinda fun. The rambly bit at the front is a real love-it-or-hate-it affair and the powers that be on site decided they hated it. This was quickly downgraded to a user review and then, upon my request, moved to the secondary account. The timing of its releases is either perfect of terrible, what with all the drama revolving around reviewing thanks to Gamespot and CNet's shenanigans, but the review was written long before these events mostly at work on the new blog forums which I have converted into a digital notepad or sorts. Hourglass is simply a dull game that's only shot on innovation is tied in with the gimmicky system it has been released on. Someone needed to tell the world!
Felix linked it to the GameFaqs message board where it was quickly deleted for trolling. I did likewise with a review of his (Sex Vixens from Space) which was nuked for spamming.
Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS) December 1st
After the last attempt of the review was nuked, it was back to the lab again. It has pretty much the same critical commentary of the last with half the personality and none of the satire. Instead, I decided to pick on how the big Nintendo nerds like to scream about innovation before sitting down to play the newest Mario Party game. Aren't they in double figures by now?
- Posted Dec 2, 2007 3:12 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 3 Comments
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14Nov 07
UFO: Aftermath (PC) September 15th
This was an odd title to review retrospectivly as I had already played and reviewed the third title in the series and, as you can guess, this one still had a littering of teething problems the later game I played had long ironed out. The biggest problem with writing reviews for games like this is that they may still be fun but later titles have made them obsolete. And that's why it lurks right at the bottom of my hit-counter.
All I wrote all September. Thank two weeka in Ibiza for that. And I still got online to help Ben and Veems for TT stuff. I'm such a martyr.
Quake 4 (Xbox 360) October 2nd
Less a Quake 4 review for the first half and more a chance to bash the crap out of the awful Doom 3. Which, in case I've not said, is awful.
But the review is far too long and really is in need of a good edit. I've already cut a lot of fat off this one, but despite this there being some good ideas in here, it still feels like it needs to lose more. I may have to enlist an editor for this one.
Requital (PC) October 15th
Requital's an odd game and when I said odd I mean medicore. It has some good ideas but never take full advantage of them and remains mostly hundrum. Which makes writing about it pretty hard. Daggnammit.
It's a good game to get covered, though, as not many sites seemed to bother.
Halo 3 (Xbox 360) October 18th
I know, odds are you've never heard of this one.
I had no real intentions of covering Halo 3 for the site as I try to shy away from the bigger names. forcing Zig to carry that burden instead. But, much like the Gears or War situation, a certain editor insisted as soon as he (or she) heard I bought, played and beat it upon release. Which was a pain.
What worked out was the FPS review tourney being annouched, allowing me to kill two birds with one plasma grenade. I romped to victory.
I like this one. The intro worked and by the time I got into the less interesting parts in the latter parts, I think I have enough momentium stored to not let it slow things down.
Valhalla Knights (PSP) October 24th
Buying a PSP for review codes ahs almost paid for itself already. Sadly, Valhalla Knights isn't a game I feel happy dropping all that cash on to play. While it was nice to get back to penning a bash review (I was starting to feel that I would forver be stuck in the 6-10/10 range!) it came at a super-busy time and there were over games I would have prefer to get played and reviewed, especially since Zig already had a review for the same game up live.
I like to think I made my arguement differently to his.
Urban Dead (PC) October 26th
So, I wrote a review on a broswer-based zombie MMO for Halloween. Then I forgot it was Halloween based and released it early. Then remembered after I released and swore.
Urban Dead's a tricky little game to cover and I think I maybe used a little too much creative license and not enough cold facts in this one. Still it's a cool game and it's free -- you should all be playing it.
- Posted Nov 14, 2007 2:09 pm PT
- Category: Writing
- 3 Comments
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25Sep 07
IGN. Home of the dumb. Did you know that before the PS3 hit, they compiled a top ten list of why you should ignore the Xbox 360 and buy - with money -- a PS3 instead? Sadly, I did and I even had the time to revisit it and see how many nails they hit on the head.
Spoilers: There's 3 flat-out lies, several mammoth exaggerations and one only-slightly disputable claim based around a game not many people care about anymore and more hyperbole than you can shake a stick at.
10 - 360 doesn't have a killer app:
Name one system out there that has had a spectacular launch title. Can you do it? I can! But we're not talking about the Dreamcast; even now the 360 has so many titles of worth -- Gears, Crackdown, Dead Rising, Bioshock, Halo 3 just around the corner. The PS3 has, well, nothing that can soar above the 8/10 mark. Heavenly Sword's the best they have and it's 10 hours long! Everything else looks like it's drowning in a river of mud.
Sure, the 360's had a head start, but the PS3 is well over the mark IGN had set when this article was penned. Even then, the 360 had stuff like Quake 4, which still kicks the snot out of the PS3 library.
9 - 1080p and TWO SCREEN support in PS3:Except this was dropped quietly, wasn't it. No explanation offered, Sony just stopped mentioning it and hoped people would forget.
8 - Expandability/Connectivity:
The PS3 has some weird online program that might save you from cancer. It also plugs into the PSP. The 360 is basically a PC in a box and as such connects up to one effortlessly (and their wired pads play without flaw on your PC too, kids!). Interestingly, it also plugs into the PSP and anything with a USB port. That this was mentioned in favour of Sony is mind-blowing inaccurate.
7 - "You can still pre-order a PS3:"
Now you can just buy one right off the shelves. There are millions of the overpriced turkeys sitting unsold in stores everwhere.
6 - Seven player wireless support:
Except this never happened, either. Probably because it's such a dumb idea. Those of us who crammed round a console to four player it up know that's a squeeze enough, but seven?
Much like other claims, this was never mentioned again. Shhh - you're meant to forget!
5 - The new camera:
Yeah, that's taken off big. Let me ask you this: did you own eyetoy? If the answer is yes, then welcome to a very small club. Has the PS3 done anything like the eyetoy yet? Nope, not a thing. If you want a webcam on your console, then you can plug a PC one into the 360. Despite IGN giving it a black mark on the subject earlier, the 360 connectivity is leagues above the PS3s.
4 - Backwards compatibility with PS1 and PS2 games:
This blew out big.
Here's the situation with the 360's backwards compatibility: they didn't actually own the main chip that ran the first Xbox and couldn't just carry the software right across so they're slowly going though the entire back catalogue, game by game, and making downloadable content available so that you'll someday be able to play every single Xbox game on your 360.
Despite popular belief, you can now play Panzer Dragoon Orta on the 360 with the right download.
Microsoft said this was what they were doing since day one. And they're doing a bloody fine job on making good on their promise.
Sony broke all their promises from the word go.
"You can play every single PS1 and PS2 game on the PS3!" Oh really? Not if you live in Europe where the most expensive strain of the machine is the least developed. PS1 games play fine, sure, but only about 30% of the PS2 games work and Sony refused to release a list of which titles would until the day of the console's release effectively asking consumers to buy a console not knowing what games it can or can't play. And if you've not bought an early version of the NA strain, then you have the same conditions to look forward to later on in the system's 'development'.
Microsoft admitted that their backwards compatibility would not be flawless, explained why, and have word hard towards rectifying this. Sony flat-out lied.3- PS3 has stronger Japanese support:
Does it? What does the PS3 have from the land of the rising sun thus far? And, more to the damn point, who cares? Japan has not been the epicentre for brave new games for a long time now: Rare are British, Ubisoft French, to name just a few. There are great games coming from the 'states, coming from Croatia, Italy, and Spain... The 360 even has support from the big Japan names like Square who released the only console version of FFXI worth mentioning.
The big PS3 game thus far, Heavenly Sword, is made by Ninja Theory, formally known as Just Add Monsters, who are English-based themselves.2 - Metal Gear Solid 4:
MGS2 was exclusive on the PS2.... for a few months. DMC4 was exclusive on the PS3. It's not now. The safe money is on MGS4 following suit and finding its way on the 360 at some point.
But so what if it doesn't? The Metal Gear series has already been out****d and out-designed by the Splinter Cell games that play perfectly on the 360 without the vomit-inducing pseudo-intellectual plots and love-on-the-battlefield rubbish.
1 - Plays Blu-Rays:
So far the Blu-Ray has done nothing for the PS3 except push it out of most people's price range. So far, all the lack of Blu-Ray has done for the 360 is make it affordable.
Let's make a painful analogy.
Consoles are sandwiches, and you are hungry. You go to a sandwich shop and you ask for a cheese sandwich. The guy behind the counter produces two.
"What's with this?" you asked, perplexed at the duality of foodstuffs.
The guy smiles and points to the first sandwich. "This is a fine sandwich. It tastes great, as sandwiches are wont to do, and it costs a fraction of the other one."
"Then what's so good about the other one?" you ask.
"Well, it costs much more, for one."
"Why?"
"Because it's made from a special bread that is developed by NASA and made out of ninja particles that slice at nasty atoms with tiny katana blades."
"That sounds more adventitious than the first, if not overly full of improvable hyperbole", you admit.
"It does, but it tastes like crap."This is a startling admission. "What a startling admission." You say. "Are you not trying to sell me said sandwich?"
"Ah, but that's the great thing about it. Right now, the sandwich tastes of arse, but thats because it doesn't have special cheese."
"Is special cheese extra?"
"It will be, but it isn't now. Because, right now, it does not exist. But someday it will, and then this sandwich will be so awesome!"
You cock your head to the side and the guy notes your look. "This isn't a guarantee", he quickly adds.
"So", you begin. "I, the sandwich-hungry consumer, have the following choices. I can either spend less money on a great tasting snack that I can enjoy now, or I can spend more money on a clearly inferior foodgood that might some day be vastly superior, but also might not?"
"More or less", said the guy.
"And will the pricier sandwich remain at this fixed price forever?"
"No, but if you do not buy it now and instead wait for it to get cheaper, you get less garnish and the overall product is lessened greatly."
"Right", you say, wishing you'd a/ gone for pizza and b/ never bothered reading this painful analogy.
Here's the punch line, the PS3 is currently made obsolete BECAUSE of the very reason Sony is telling you that you should buy the console and the #1 reason IGN thinks you should not bother with the 360 at all. The Blu-Ray is a technology that we currently have no need for; games fit onto normal DVDs with room to spare (GTA3 was cracked and placed on a sodding standard CD, for Christ's sake!) and we've not even strolled into an area where dual-laired DVDs are commonly needed, yet the PS3 relies on the assumption that this time is just around the corner. And it is not.
Here's another little thing to think about: every multi-platform game spread across these two consoles has looked (and, often, played) better on the 360. Want an American football game on the PS3? Go crazy with your archaic 30fps compared the 360s 60. When the big name guys like EA and bloody SEGA can't even get a resolution that has been common ground for over a decade for consoles, then it's time to ask questions.
The old saying goes that you can't spell Ignorant without IGN. I always found them a laughable source of reviews and it's heartening to know that they can be relied upon to carry this across the board.They did a similar list for the Wii, but it's simply not as retarded. I may have a pick at it, anyway.
- Posted Sep 25, 2007 9:08 am PT
- Category: Editorial
- 4 Comments
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1Sep 07
Return to Mysterious Island (PC) July 03
This came in a boxet along with Journey to the Moon (which I got to later!) and was actually a lot of fun. The thing I liked most about RtMI was that each goal can be completed in a differing way. So this is what I focused on with this review. While I like how that aspect came out, it feels a bit.. samey. Like I'm getting a little too much into a rut. I need a break!
Armored Core 4 (XBOX360) July 04
My attempt at getting out of my rut failed horribly and this review got lambasted for the fan-fic like cut-aways I'd included throughout. Knowing when to cut my loses, the review has since been updated minus the cut-aways. Without them, I don't think it has any real soul to it, but it reads like an actual review and not a bad fan fic.The biggest pain, finding a text to put the cut-aways in, vanished with their deletion.
Exit 2 (PSP) July 20
So, a freelance guy said he had a PSP thus I accepted a PSP review code. Said PSP was promptly sold and I was stuck.
Now I [all but] own a bloody PSP, Exit 2 is the kind of game that makes the purcahse seem worthwhile. It's a fun, quirky and unique little game that wouldn't be applicable on the DS or GBA. I played the game and wrote the review mainlky from work where I decided to try and fond out how much videogaming I could get away with over a slow week. The answer was a lot.
Journey to the Moon (PC) July 30
There's a real steampunk/sci-fi setting around this one, and how they've managed to bring the books to life is quite the feat. Even if Ancell looks like a derranged killer and not the brilliant explorer he was meant to be. Also, got to love the English accents oon the French protaganists.
Like its sister game, Return to Mysterious Island, there's a multi-branch puzzle solutions deal going on, but it's not quite as free-flowing. For atmosphere, JttM destroys RtMI, but roles are reversed for gameplay.
Interesting note: This game is called Voyage: Inspired by Jules Verne in the states. Haha, your title sucks.
Persona (PSX) August 22
I've been wanting to review this game for ages (HG already has a staff review for this but it's, to be blunt, awful) and despite it loosing to Boo in the TT (Curse you, tubby!) I'm really happy with how it came out. I threw the discussion points around a bit to take familiarity out of the picture and spent most of the review comparing the JP and NA versions, which are so different, they may as well have been released under different names. Whereas I caught some stick for this in the TT judgement, it's not someting I'm going to change.
PS: Mark dances sexy.
Sam & Max: Season One (PC) August 29th
Just when I think I'm done with the bloody series..
The intro isn't just there for comedic effect: I really did launch into a huge speil about the history of the series that went on for a good four or so paragraphs. Obvioulsy, this was overkill, so I scaled it right back into what you see now.
Big thanks to VM on this one. We had an obligitory fight the day before the TT deadline and proofed each other's reviews still with an air of hostility, but we predictably got bored of bickering half-way through. Shame, too; she's always so much quieter when she's sulking.
I must rememeber to go back and hyperlink the hell out of this later. I didn't review all six episodes seperately to not spam them hard in a season sum-up!
WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2007 (360) August 31st
Time-killer review penned at work, written from a pretty smarked point of view, but it should find a niche, at least! Not actually played a wrestling game in any depth since the glory days fo the N64, so comparisons are rather shallow.
True INSOLENTLY didn't do his obligitory WWE review this year, so I fugured I'd have to do it for him.
- Posted Sep 1, 2007 7:10 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 3 Comments
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2Jul 07
Dawnspire June 4th 2007
This is my favourite review that I've written thus far this year. The publishers even went so far as to say that they loved the first 70% of the review and I should snip the last 30% away and score their game higher. I honestly wish I could.
Had a few problems getting this one up and written. Originally it went to a freelancer but they had problems running it on their PC, so I had to recall it and do it myself. However, the Post Office screwed up and I still didn't have the review copy back untill some 10 days later. Luckily, I know someone who bought the game, so camped at her house for a few days and racked up a lot of game time while she made me butterscotch muffins.
It's a hard life reviewing sometimes.
Anyway, I wrote the review mostly on paper while there and typed it up at home that night, making little edits and changes as I went along. It was a quick write and the finished product came out a lot better than I had expected. Now the review copy of the game is here, I'll keep playing this one in the hopes that the community picks up.
World Poker Championship 2 (PS2) June 5th 2007
Oxygen don't like to make life easy for me. The first game they sent me to review was a darts one, and now, poker!
I held this one for ages, wanting to release it on-site with the PAL release date, but this seems to have been pushed back forever, so it got sent out now. Considering the source material (I know I'm saying that a lot, but I've had some difficult games to cover recently!) I'm pleased with how it's come out. I also still find myself playing the game on and off as when I want to play something light.
Pacific Storm: Allies (PC) June 18th 2007
Here's a game that should have been a lot better than it was. The story behind this is that a solid war sim game was made combing three genres in a very clever way and serving the player with a unique way to wage war. Then it was sent to the publishers who thought it would be a super idea to jam in a anti-piracy code on the last day before retail release without any form of testing at all. There's now bugs all over the place including a very annoying one that doesn't show explosions so you have no idea whether or not you hit your target. This only applies to the UK game that I got; the rest of Europe and NTSC will have perfect version without moronic publisher choices.
Rant aside, I'm lukewarm with the review. In an attempt to make the review applicable to all regions, I think the above point was undersold. I also should have maybe deleted the history nerd tangents I kept running off into all together rather than try and make a running joke of them.
Safecracker (PC) June 23rd
There's this bastard puzzle in here where you need to guide a ball bearing through a maze using magnets to attract the ball to up, down, left or right. The aim is to get it to fall in one of the five holes, but it can easily get trapped or roll off the table completely. It took me hours upon hours to do.
That's the kind of game Safecracker is. It's not about plots or characters but all about puzzles. This makes it pretty hard to write about. I hate the intro as it's a blatent cop-out and one of the things I advise other reviewers not to do, but I had nothing in the bag and an incoming publisher deadline to meet. It picks up from there, but I hope to have a suddern burst of insperation one day so I can come back and edit in a better intro.
Loki [PREVIEW] (PC) June 28th
Loki's preview disk only gave me the chance to play as a norse warrior out of the four playable ****s, but it also came with a really cool glossy book that shows a lot of what the finished game will be. I usually just get an A4 press release note.
What was on the disk was old-school click-and-die fun. Ignoring this, I got too carried away in writing about the setting to convey this as much as I would hope then proceeded to oversell this point in the latter half of the preview. Looks to be a blast of a game, though; I look forward to the full release.
- Posted Jul 2, 2007 8:11 am PT
- Category: Games
- 0 Comments
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9Jun 07
Runaway: The Dream of the Turtle (PC) 3/5/07
I love that most of the publisher sent reviews I get are for point and click games. And I loved this one.
I flew through the game and then found the review came pretty easy. Obvioulsy, the little lemur at the start had qute an effect on me, but it also allowed me to not spoil any of the main story by focusing on the alcoholic rodent. Starting to play around more with intergrating screenshots into a review's main body, think I pulled this one off pretty well.
Soccer '97 (PSX) 7/5/07
Pulled this one out of nowhere, but it's a game no one's ever heard of and really deserved some kind of coverage. Even though I wager no one will ever really read it, I always like covering the more obscure stuff. It's nice knownig that you have the best review for a game up on the internet, even if you have to cheat and make sure it's all but the only one.
Sam & Max Episode 6 - The Bright Side of the Moon (PC) 9/5/07
Season 1 down. Thank God, because I was all kinds of out of things to say. I liked the time I spend playing the new Sam & Max stuff, but writing about them was a real **** Knowing that there's going to be a season two at some point worries me, but it's a while away.
This was written pretty quickly which is unlike me, but I'm happy with it.
SBK '07: Superbike World Championship '07 (PS2) May 14th 2007
DAY 1
This was a much easier review than I thought it was going to be. The problem with reviewing racing games is that, unless they're awful, you don't have much to talk about and it's very hard to try and talk about them in an interesting way. I've made myself write about sports games in the last few years exactly because they are hard to do and, in covering them, I hope that it adds an element to my writing that wouldn't be there otherwise. I like how this came out, so all was good.
SBK '07 is a fun little game that can't quite decide if it wants to be an arcade racer or a true sim. But it finds a cool middle ground and builds from there. I think I got that across well enough. This was the first review in the three-day review spree.
Alpine Ski Racing 2007 (PC) May 15th 2007
DAY 2
This is about as good as I can write a ski review!
I mean, come on, it's not the easiest of games to cover. ASR07 helps me out with some pretty unique ways to slide down snow such as an awesome career mode but I had to cheat a little by padding the review with links to similar reviews and by making a talking point around the skis being waxed when it didn't really deserve such a focus. Still, in the scheme of things, this one turned out well, especially when you consider it was my second review in so many days. Most of you will never read it.
Ankh: Heart of Osiris (PC) May 16th 2007
DAY 3
The three-day streak ends with Ankh. Thank god, because I was all kinds of burnt out by this point.
Ankh's a cool game, but what with covering so many adventure games this year, I was worried I was falling into a rut of forms with the genre. I wanted to try and change out of this, but a lot of the reappearing habits still found their way in. The publisher really liked it, though!
minDStorm May 28th 2007
I hated BrainStorm. Literally hated it. Not only do I not see the fun in doing what is nothing more than glorified secondary school homework, but the interface was broken and was the reason for 80% of my wrong answers (because I is smart). MinDStorm suffers from much of the same problems but has slightly more fun mini-games and a much cooler title. Not a fun game to cover, though: how do you write about doing your maths homework? In a very stuffy and listy way, according to this review!
LMA Manager 2007 (Xbox 360) May 29th 2007
I tried to get into the habit of writing one of these a year but didn't do 2006. This stopped me from doing my usually trick of just editing last year's review a little and claiming it was a clever dig at the rehashing of annual titles. But I didn't, so had to write it anew. Bah.
If you call football soccer, you should probably avoid it. It also relies on some prior knowledge.
- Posted Jun 9, 2007 6:32 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 0 Comments
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17Feb 07
Game publishers are an evil bunch, but they're also an overworked lot and I feel their pain. Especially the ones I work with that concern themselves with PAL ports and have to contend with localisation spanning across a wide variety of languages. Then you have annoying twerps like me popping up every five minutes asking where their review code is and when it will turn up -- or in the most recent three or four cases, why the preview codes sent out don't work at all.
But, man, do they like to prod should they think a review is taking too long.
This week's gnash is sponsored by Murder on the Orient Express. For some reason, I can only get the 'Murder' part of the title to serve as a link.
(If someone can tell me how to disguise links as text, I'd love to hear how! I HTML code like crazy on other formats but never seem to manage it here....)
MotOE came through with three other full review games and it was the first I picked to play because it was a point 'n' click, and this is my genre of choice. I flew through it in a few days because I knew that the prods would eventually come and I wanted to smugly offer a link when they did. Being smug rules.
I've got nothing on that game or the one I decided to play second. I got many on the one I decided to play last. They know. I'm telling you, they know!
What follows is the gnashing of teeth and paranoid rantings. It's best left unsaid.
- Posted Feb 17, 2007 6:01 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 1 Comment
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8Feb 07
On the off chance anyone is interested:
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey.
I intended to host this on Gamespot as well as HG, but because some of the examples of speech I lifted from the game include swearing, it would mean a stupid line of astrixes or some such. So instead, I'll find something else to move across later.
EDIT: I went with Arc the Lad. Enjoy!
Although I may very well just randomly change my mind at some point. I'm so wonderfully unstable like that!
- Posted Feb 8, 2007 10:18 am PT
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17Jan 07
I don't understand the timezone HG exists in. I don't; it's an insane mixture of some of the US ones and, as a user of GMT, it's completely unintelligible to me. So, when I run one of the the tourneys over there (which has been every other one for some darn reason!) it means crazy late nights and much time checking.
I know not whether I'm coming or going. And, if I'm doing either, at which time I'll be doing the other.
But the turn out was solid. Only one team failed to field a full squad (that being the 'spot team -- for shame). A lot of new writers took a shot and the win could fall to almost any of the teams. Best of all, now the lists and databasing is all but done, the workload can be shrugged off to the judging staff leaving me free..... to slog through mu large pile of preview codes that just won't stop coming through.
*sigh*
Where to start? With Trackmania Ulimited or Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened......
- Posted Jan 17, 2007 9:08 am PT
- Category: N/A
- 3 Comments
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18Dec 06
For going on a week now, I've been trying to fix the dodgy formatting on my Gears of War review with zero joy. It's getting to the stage now where I'm shaking my fist at the monitor and offering curses not unlike the one featured in my blog header, making me sound like an 80's Batman villain and/or clinically insane.
Although I'd wager the two are mutually exclusive.
Anyways, should avid blog-searchers and GoW review browsers wish to see how the review was supposed to look (plus some snazzy screens and pretty HTML, which I can't seem to get working on this site too!) I urge you to read it here:
http://www.honestgamers.com/systems/content.php?console_id=58&review_id=5293&game_id=18018
We now return the the previoulsy sceduled rantings.
- Posted Dec 18, 2006 8:33 am PT
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- 4 Comments
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7Aug 06Yesterday, I purchased Sensible Soccer for the XBox. Today I pick broken shards of rose-tinted glasses out from my bleeding eyeballs. I pray that the more complex system grows on me, less I converge upon Codemasters wielding some form of siege weapon. Possably a catapult of some description.
- Posted Aug 7, 2006 8:53 am PT
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28Jul 06
I'll keep the trend going and throw something a little bit different up:
http://www.gamespot.com/gameboy/action/rtype/player_review.html?id=344308
That'll be for R-Type. Those who know not of this game need not apply.
- Posted Jul 28, 2006 2:30 pm PT
- Category: N/A
- 0 Comments
