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5Jun 12

One-Sentence E3 Conference Reviews

Normally, I don't really like the extreme brevity that comes with catering to the ADHD generation, but with megalomanic press events such as E3, it is probably best to keep things short and to the point. So here goes; every major conference on E3 described in one sentence!

Microsoft - Halo 4: Metroid Prime edition, a buttload of social stuff you can already do better on your PC anyway, and some guy yelling at his Xbox in Spanish.

Sony - Vita (apparently pronounced 'Vida') is dead, and the PS3 is showcased best by multiplatform titles you already saw in previous conferences anyway.

Nintendo - Memetastic Zombie Reggie thinks 30 minutes of Nintendoland footage isn't quite enough, so here, have some fireworks.

EA - Didn't watch, lol (the GS stream didn't work for me).

Ubisoft - Some great games and a good host managed to neutralise the potentially catastrophic damage that would've been done by the annoying backstage guy, who is clearly related to Mr. Caffeine.

And there you have it. If you haven't been able to watch the conference, you now know all you need to know. What? You still think I'm being too-longwinded? Well then, here's the whole of E3 summed up in one sentence: I like French food!


zombiereggie

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Bamul
Bamul

Here's how I would rank the conferences, in order of quality - from best to worst:

1) Ubisoft (some very nice games were shown, and even though there was a bit too much forced humour, this had the best and least serious-business-type hosts).

2) Sony (content was just as interesting - if not more than - Ubisoft's, the hosts were decent but too formal).

3) Microsoft or EA (both had a pretty boring line-up - especially EA, but they had a few heavy-hitters that save it from falling behind Micro$oft; so I can't decide which one was worse).

4) Nintendo (a bit interesting at first, but got more & more boring as it went on - they didn't really show my type of games, most of them looked overly similar to me - ended up being an utter bore).

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