My very first Vlog! Yes I'm still in Chicago right now. I uploaded this video on Sunday and am just now getting back to log on to blog it. Enjoy!

For those of you avid readers that aren't in the MGU here on Gamespot, and thus did not see my post in that forum....

I'm gonna be in Chicago next week. My work is sending me out there to assist with the opening of a new office. So I won't be around much until July 28. I'll have limited access to a computer, so I'll check in when I can. I hope to have some great tales of adventure, new pix, and *gasp* maybe even a video when I return.

Yeah, I'm probably gonna get moderated for this...so if you're reading this, consider yourself lucky. I doubt it will be up very long. I just think it's WAY to coincidental that all blogs and forums shut down on this site whenever any live event is happening at E3. 2 days in a row now this goes down to a crawling pace when the live video conferences are being conducted over the web, and for some reason nobody can blog about it or discuss in the forums.

Nope, the only thing you can do is talk about it the designated chat room...IF you can connect! Seems that betwee 10 am and 4 pm here this site is all but unusable these past two days. Your LUCKY to even be able to log in and view the E3 happenings, yet alone get to forums and other messages.

Is there some sort of conpsiracy afoot here that the powers that be are preventing any sort of communication at all about E3 events other than their happy little contained and controlled container that is the "live" chat room? I think so!

One of the big things that Microsoft toted about the new and improved Xbox Live service when they launched the 360 is how matching making in games would use this great and mysterious power called True Skill Ratings to match players up with other players of pretty close to the same skill level. The gaming world rejoiced as casual gamers and newbie gamers exclaimed "Yahoo! No more getting owned by noob hunting vets!". Vets silently nodded and mumbled and growled about finally being matched against worthy opponents. We are still waiting for this True Skill urban legend to actually start working presently.

Every game I've ever been in online is absolutely lacking in any sort of acceptable match making ability. GRAW, GRAW2, Halo2 & 3, GoW, COD4, Burnout....and the list goes on and on as I'm sure you readers out there could list a store-full of games as well. My point is that this match making system is maddeningly broken. Take COD4 for example...a PRIME example. You have a party composed of all 1st level people (ie: no prestige yet) around level 45. The servers will pit that team up against veterans of the game who are level 5 and 6 prestige who whave octuple the amount of play time logged than any member of the less experienced team. This wasn't so bad in the early stages of the game's life. Lately though it is worse than ever!

Halo3 is no exception to this lack of match making skill. Halo2 had a near perfect ability for getting players of close to equal skills put together in public and ranked games. Halo3 destroyed that with its dual rankings crap. Bungie failed to listen to the old adage "IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT!" So now, a team of low ranking players can wander into a Team Slayer match. Say their average skill in Team Slayer is 8. HOWEVER, these guys do nothing but play team doubles, team swat, and BTB all day long. They are 5 star freakin' generals in the world of Halo. The Bungie server says "Oh, deez guys is level 8. Me put them wit udder level 8 players to match duh skillz". Way to freakin' go Bungie. Thankyou for making possibley the best online game ever a craptacular mess of failure to match equally skilled players.

I love playing games online with my friends. It's great times and many many laughs. It just saddens me when a group of gamers who aren't that hardcore, if even hardcore at all are forced to play team after team that totally out ranks them in skill level, play time, even unlocked items in the game. Where is this True Skill service that Microsoft promised us? Where is the fun in playing game after game after game of getting you and your team demolished because your nowhere near the level of the other teams you keep getting put against. Man it's like throwing your local High School football team against the gol dang Patriots or something. They just don't stand a chance.

So if people aren't having fun playing these games, they will stop playing them and find something that does entertain them instead of making them crazy angry. Does anybody care? Apparently Microsoft doesn't. Apparently Bungie doesn't. Apparently EA doesn't. FASA did...but they were bought by Microsoft.

Whoever said that exercise can't be fun must've not enjoyed life too much. The simplest forms of exercise; bike riding, taking a walk, power shopping at the mall, swimming, bare knuckle boxing, and so on can be highlights of your day if you let them. Alas, what with psychos, muggers, murderers and a host of other nare-do-wells that lurk on every single corner of every single street...well at least they do if you believe what your local news channels are trying to cram down your throat...then you know it is not safe outside to do those activities anymore.

That is why the absolute genius minds over at Nintendo have graced us with the god send that is Wii Fit. Let me tell you, this is more than a game. It is a work out nazi, jogging partner, hula hoopin', ski jumping monster! You may look at it and see what it has to offer and be like "ooooooooh yoga, yeah that's real hard" well guess what there slim, IT IS!!! Oh sure the first few poses are cake walks, even that dang Half Moon pose will have your muscles screaming if you're not in the slightest bit of shape. Then comes harder things, more more strain and stretching of the muscles...the Wii fit costs far less than a membership to a gym and while it won't pump you up like Hanz and Franz ever could, it will help you shed some unwanted beer belly fat and add some tone to those unused manboob muscles dangling on your chest.

Coming soon to a Wii near you is one of the scariest games I've ever played, Fatal Frame. It's been digitally remastered from its original format and restored to its true gorey! Of any survival horror game out there, I will have to say that is the ONLY game that ever made me...Mr. Born on Halloween and loves everything Horror...get the willies. Not just "oh wow that's kinda scary, like a spider landing on my lap" No this was flat out give me nightmares, can't sleep, can't play the game while alone in the dark, what the hell was that noise, oh my god my heart is racing, who's hiding in the closet, I think I'm gonna cry scary. Bravo to the Wii for ressurecting my nightmares, and yet again reminding me that I need to face my fears and finish this game once and for all.

I know some of you have been waiting on baited breath for the next little bit of Improbable Probability. Wait no longer my dear fans of the Big Oops, I have an extra special super delicious double portioned sized chunk of the story for you to read today...

Rat had been sitting on a park bench pondering why science and technology was so bad, after all it did seem that using science to save another person's life was a very good thing indeed. So engrossed was he in his deep thoughts that he didn't notice the Hamster come strolling up next to him. Nor did he really mind too much attention to the rattling beast when it asked it's infamous question, "Oy, you there. You believe in da word of da Bishop?". Had he actually heard the question, he would have answered in the proper manner that ensured one's survival. What more, had he actually seen the creature that had asked the question, Rathagud Octacto would have answered much differently than he did. Fooling the Hamster with a dubious answer was a very easy thing to do and was quite the common practice among the common folk of the area. All a body had to do to avoid a surely most painful looking death would be to give a simple nod and a loud "A'yup!" and the Hamster would be along on its way happy with the results of the answer it had just received.

Instead, Rat replied to the Hamster's question, "What? No, not now...I'm busy." To the Hamster's small pre-programmed single microprocessor brain the only important parts to any answer of any question are the first two words of the answer. All other words involved in the answer are absolute rubbish and can be totally disregarded without any concern. That is when the Hamster's "by any means necessary" programming kicked in. Rat's answer to the Hamster's question registered as "What? No!" To the Hamster's programming this was a direct defiance of what it had been programmed to accept as the proper as answer. Words like yes, yup, yeah, uh-huh, sure, yep, what-ever, and jog off and all their derivatives were calculated as acceptable

A slightly faint whirring noise was heard as the Hamster's death blade spun up to killing speed and emerged from it's forehead. Had it not been for this uniquely distinctive whirring noise, Rat would not have moved and would currently be deceased. However, he did recognize the noise and knew that he had a mere portion of a second to move out of harms way and start running away at break neck speeds in order to possibly even have the slightest chance at being the first to escape the inescapable Hamster when the closest giant wheel was more than a mile away. The Death Blade, as it was commonly called by most every person that was not under the power of the Bishop's oppressive form of what he considered to a sort of government, was part number DB498275-57H. Part number DB498275-57H is supposed to be sharpened and oiled on a bi-weekly basis. If this maintenance is not performed on a bi-weekly basis then part number DB498275-57H is likely to malfunction at the most inopportune moments. Fortunately for Rat, this Hamster hadn't undergone its bi-weekly maintenance in over a year (budget cuts and all). As a result, when part number DB498275-57H emerged from the Hamster's head and cocked for its lethal lunge towards the target that did not believe in the word of the Bishop there was a very peculiar "WhirrrrrrrOOOPkalunkAHHHH" noise that seemed to come from the main servo motors controlling part number DB498275-57H. The blade lunged forward at a terror stricken Rat, however it was no longer spinning and only managed to give Rat a nice shove in the shoulder, as if to say "Ha Ha! Have at you then!" The Hamster's microprocessor brain began an analysis of the situation. It had never had part number DB498275-57H fail. The Hamster retracted the lunging arm and attempted to restart the spinning motor for the blade. Each attempt only produced a loud clicking noise similar to that of a 1989 Mercury Topaz trying to start its engine when its battery was all but dead.

Rat didn't have to think twice. Survival instinct told his legs to run and run fast. His legs listen and began carrying Rat away as fast as they possible could. This all happened before Rat's rational brain even had the realization that the Hamster had failed to terminate him ad that his legs were now carrying his body away faster than he'd ever run before. Rat ran like crazed man with one highly important goal, staying alive, towards a building with a sign that read "Marathon". From all the talk he heard about the old abandoned Marathon building was that it was haunted by mournful spirits and encased an in a terribly offensive odor of death. People said that you'd have to be insane to even head towards that place. If the desire to remain living made one to be considered insane, he was quite proud to be insane at this very moment and made a mad dash for that Marathon building. It was an old run down relic of a building that was left over from times before the Big Oops. He entered the old building which apparently had no real function in society but to sell small useless items that claimed to be things they were not, like Little Debbies, King Dons, and Fruit Pies that weren't even shaped like a pie as well as som sort of beverage that cost $2.75 a gallon. It must have been a rather tasty drink to have that large of price Rat had thought to himself as he crouched in silence inside the Marathon building. Outside the Hamster slowed down, searching and sniffing and leaving it's small little marking pellets behind on the ground.

Fortune was smiling upon Rat this day, for as the Hamster was trying to decipher Rat's scent from amongst all the other scents of the Marathon building it stumbled across an odd creature with only one long black rubbery arm, and a funny shaped hand that only had one finger. It stared at the Hamster with empty, unblinking eyes. Knowing its duties full well the Hamster stared this new and unidentified creature right in its empty eyes and asked the question, "Oy, you there. You believe in da word of da Bishop?".

The strange creature with the black rubbery arm did not answer.

Again the Hamster repeated its question to the new creature, "Oy, you there. You believe in da word of da Bishop?"

Again the creature did not answer. The Bishop, having programmed the Hamsters small brains, did not take into account several different possible answers and reactions to the question. One of the biggest things he forgot was the fact that a person may not answer at all. In this case of where the question is asked and the being that is questioned does not answer, the Hamster will restate the question, thinking that perhaps that being asked the question of had not heard the question at all. Many people have discovered this loophole in the system and have avoided certain death by simply ignoring any and all Hamsters that approach. This has resulted in some people wondering about with no less than 3 Hamsters following them about, repeating their question over and over. Most people cannot handle this and eventually kill themselves anyway, saving the Hamsters a bit of bloodywork. Their programming does allow for the fact that a subject may cease to live before they can completely answer the question and so if a being that has been asked the question ceases to live before the answer is given, the Hamster is free to move on about its business. Of course, simply lying and giving an answer of "yes" worked too, but nobody had dared been brave enough to lie to a Hamster before, so that loophole as of yet was undiscovered.