My cousin came over today and we had a long Wii-athon with Castlevania Judgement, SSB Brawl and NSMB Wii.

She couldn't get used to CVJ so I ended up winning every match. We started doing gag matches eventually and picking just about anyone. I have no idea how they expect Golem to win against an experience player. He's so slow that it's cumbersome to fight with him.

We played Brawl for a long time. Did a lot of free for all matches and even did 100 man brawl. But then we went to NSMBWii and my opinion changed...

See, I had always heard stories of newer gamers that had never played any of the 2D Mario games but I never believed it. You're not a real gamer if you've never played any of SMB1-3 or World. Not all of them, just any one of them. Today that horror was realized in my house.

As we started up the game, she asked me how to play. I figured its been awhile since she played the older games, so I told her it was like them. She didn't get it. I was suspicious so I asked her, "did you play any of the old Mario games?"

Her exact response? "I played Sunshine." MARIO SUNSHINE IS HER DEFINITION OF AN OLD MARIO GAME! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! I named SMB1-3 and World and got a blank look in response. Then she said something about Mario Kart. We played SMBWii for about a half hour. She absolutely sucked. She just did not know 2D Mario mechanics. The simplest things went over her head.

When we played Brawl again it became just how apparent her unfamiliarity with anything before last gen was. She said such gems as:

"Link from Soul Calibur."

"You're choosing Metroid?"
"Her name is Samus."
A few minutes later...
"Stop hitting me with Metroid!"
"HER NAME IS SAMUS!"

"Who's the green Mario?" (She knew who Mario, Peach and Yoshi were but didn't know Luigi or Bowser...)

"Get King Kong away from me!" (in reference to Donkey Kong)