What I Thought I'd Do
It's been a few weeks since my initial post mourning my first casualty, Sumia, but I haven't stopped playing Fire Emblem: Awakening in many of my free moments. On the train, on the toilet, in bed while my wife is reading, on airplanes... there's been a lot of Embleming. I think I'm on Chapter 22 or something, but I'm in the middle of a battle now so I can't check.
I've been spending a lot of time pairing up characters so that they get married and then I get to meet their time-traveling progeny. It's fun to see what characteristics the parents pass on to their kids and get an extra perspective on this doom-and-gloom future everyone is ranting on about. It's also rewarding to fill out my party with new blood; the excitement of new life offers a soothing counter to the anguish of life lost.
Today I mourn Vaike.
Look at this cocky bastard. Weird chains dangling off his neck collar like so much Ylissian bling. Can't be bothered to keep track of his axes. Refers to himself not just in the third-person, but makes himself into a proper noun: "The Vaike." No shirt, no helmet, no problem.
But what a soldier! When he torqued those practice-hardened muscles back and uncorked a ferocious axe strike, the Risen rose no more. He was a fierce fighter and a trustworthy ally, lending unbending support and an easy smile to all his compatriots. We'll all remember "Teach" sharing his strategies and tips freely, solicited or no. His confidence, his self-assurance, and his gusto made us all better soldiers, better allies, and better friends.
Vaike, for your rockin' hair, your rockin' bod, your rockin' attitude, and your rockin' axe, we salute you. Rock in peace.
So I've been playing a lot of Fire Emblem: Awakening on my 3DS. I am really, really enjoying the game, and grabbing every spare minute to play it (aside from beating BioShock Infinite so I could script a Gun Show and be on the spoilercast before the internet could spoil it for me). I'm playing on Classic Normal mode, which means when my squad members die in combat, they stay dead. Because the characters are nicely fleshed out with distinct personalities, attributes, and relationships with others, I find myself getting attached to them, even the ones I'm not particularly keen on. When they die, I feel the sting of loss, and this sting stays with me for a while (despite the few things the game does to muddle up the mourning process, which I'll get into in a later post). So I decided to give write up blog eulogies for each member of my team that perishes under my command.
My first casualty was Sumia.
In the ranks of the Shepherds, Sumia did not tower above others. A diligent soldier, she worked at her craft with earnestness and dedication, and though she was not the most skilled or daring of the bunch, she pursued doggedly, ever striving to be worthy of her post. On that lovely spring day when we came upon a pegasus in the field, she alone approached the proud beast while others were filled with trepidation. Whether it was her humility, her gentleness, or some other, deeper virtue that soothed the beast, all we knew was that the next time we saw her, she was resplendent on the back of her new friend, her new ally.
Watching the two of them in battle was a delight. Soaring and diving, swooping and feinting, the two moved as if they had been companions from the cradle. I remember with startling clarity the moments of stillness when, perched like a peregrine above their prey, motionless at the fulcrum between shining ascent and dire descent, Sumia and her steed made time itself stop and stare. For a fleeting instant, they blazed incandescently, the winged paragon of freedom, comradeship, and love. In those moments, I thought to myself, "There! There is an angel for us Shepherds!"
She was the first to fall. The first of us to fall upon the battlefield. The brave foray that saved her fellow Shepherd from certain death brought her within range of a fell archer. The arrow that pierced those hearts pierced us all, and we have never been the same since. To this day, as I marshall my troops for yet another skirmish in the struggle to preserve our precious Ylisse, I command with extra caution my winged brethren. The sight of those wings folded in a final plummet is never far from my mind, and it is with bitter regret that I tell you now it was not the last time I saw such a sight.
Oh Sumia, your life was short and hard, but you were unafraid. We fight here in your name. You will not die in vain. You will not be betrayed.
Yesterday saw the release (well, sort of) of Hybrid on Xbox Live Arcade. It's a third-person shooter from 5th Cell, the creative development studio known for Lock's Quest, Scribblenauts, and other games that totally aren't third-person shooters. There were server troubles yesterday, so the game wasn't available for a lot of the day. I managed to get into some games, fortunately, and decided to live stream some gameplay for interested parties.
Six hours later, I stopped.
That's a lot of live streaming and a lot of gun shooting! If you're interested in checking some of it out, the archive is up on Twitch.tv. Commentary gets started in earnest around the five minute mark, and there's a great close match starting around 18 minutes.
I just spent an hour or two wrapping up my night with some Spelunky on XBLA, attempting to beat the boss in level 4-4. During this stretch, I tweeted some musings on my exploits, as I often do when playing games late at night. With Twitter being such an ephemeral and limited source, I figured I'd try to make a habit of collecting tweets from such sessions in a blog post so that they don't vanish into the ether as quickly as they otherwise might. Here goes!
---------------1. Now seems like as good a time as any to try to beat Spelunky, by which I mean die from mummies and mind beams for the next 45 minutes.2. Starting off with Dora the Builder. Her Mona Lisa smile and big yellow hat seem to convey the proper spirit for kamikaze platforming.....which garnered a sort-of/not-really encouraging response from Carolyn Petit (@carolynmichelle): In the words of the Dora the Builder theme song, "Can she beat it? YES! SHE! CAN!"
#ButSheProbablyWont #VayaConDiosAmiga3. In the oh-so-mortal words of @smcinnis, "Oops I died."4. Dora's shiny yellow hat is no match for the mighty Olmec's shiny yellow self. Total deaths: 4215. Favorite Spelunky tactic of the moment: Stun a caveman/birdman/bug and whip it's dazed body into the creeping mind beams of death.6. Spelunky breakthrough! Have managed to trap myself in a single square surround by walls on all sides!7. ALRIGHT WHO GOOSED THE ALLIGATOR PRIEST TIKI TRAP I AM LOOKING AT YOU HERE8. Me and my Mattock had a date with Golddome. He was the perfect gentleman right up until he ended it with A MURDER-SUICIDE AAAAASO CLOSE!!!9. Okay, 5 more lives, then bed. Smashed by Olmec. Impaled. Impaled. Brain fried by the jackal-headed god Anubis. Crushed. G'night, everybody!--------------------So, mission not accomplished. Ah well. Probably a bit incomprehensible to those who don't know much about Spelunky, but hey, there you have it! If you fancy getting this stuff in the first-run edition, you can follow me on Twitter.Goodnight!
The following entry appeared in a series of tweets a few moments ago, but I thought this would be a good place to post these thoughts as well and see what you all think. There are no story spoilers, but obviously if you are totally averse to finding out even the vaguest structural details of the ending, you probably should wait to read until you're done.
Mass Effect 3 is a game about death, and viewing it as such provides an illuminating way to interpret the reactions to the ending.
The end of the game is like the end of the trilogy, like the end of a life. Consider, then, The Five Stages of Grief.
1. Denial - "This can't be the real ending, there must be DLC." "If you analyze it deeper, the symbolism points to a truer, better ending!"
2. Anger - "BioWare has betrayed me! How could you distill the long hours I spent in Mass Effect to one stupid choice! CHANGE IT!!"
3. Bargaining - "Look, I'm not bitter. I respect BioWare. But, please, I'll donate thousands of dollars to charity to support a new ending."
4. Depression - "Nothing I ever did in Mass Effect 3 even mattered in the end. It was all just sound and fury, signifying nothing."
5. Acceptance - "I may not like the way it ended, but I loved the time I spent with the Mass Effect series, and I'm thankful for that."
When I finished the game, I wasn't thrilled. I wasn't angry. I just kind of sat there thinking, "Huh. So that was it." Did I think that maybe something more elaborate would be more satisfying? Yes. Did I feel like I wanted to know more? For sure. But we've all experienced endings that were unsatisfactory, whether in books, film, television series, or whatever. The only thing we can control is how we choose to deal with it.
Personally, I strive for acceptance. The measure of a life is not taken in its waning hours, after all. A few minutes at the end of the road does not make all that I experienced any less wondrous, exhilarating, heartbreaking, and fascinating. I love this series, and I loved Mass Effect 3. And there were some moments in that ending that I really loved as well.
So how do you deal with it when something you love doesn't end in a way you love?
Last Thursday evening, a dozen GameSpot editors gathered in our office arena to joust. Johann Sebastian Joust, to be specific. For an hour and half we stalked, hid, scurried, and leapt around the room while projectiles filled the air and PlayStation Move controllers glowed brightly. There was triumph, agony, near-injuries, and unintentional groping, and both participants and spectators alike left with the feeling that they had just experienced something highly unusual, but incontrovertibly awesome.
This vigorous endeavor, coordinated by the estimable Tom Mc Shea, is chronicled in the short video below, deftly distilled by the talented GS video producer, Werhner Von Goff. Each time I watch it (up to about 5 or 6 now) I see new things, remember unseen details, and chuckle aloud. However, I'm guessing that it might not make a whole lot of sense to folks who are unfamiliar with the game. With that in mind, I've written a companion of sorts to contextualize some of the crazy stuff you're seeing and help you get more out of the video. The basic premise is below, followed by the video and then some timestamps that highlight strategies, calamities, and favorite moments. Enjoy!
Each player grabs a PlayStation Move controller (we had 5). The Moves are linked via Bluetooth to a laptop in the corner of the room, which runs the game. The laptop plays classical music at varying speeds and monitors the accelerometers in the Move controllers. The tempo of the music corresponds to the maximum speed you can move your Move; fast music means fast motions are okay, slow music means you must be very careful. If you move your controller too fast, it blinks red, vibrates, and you are out. A flashing light indicates you are getting close to the limit. Pulling the trigger (supposedly) gives you temporary invulnerability. The object is to make the other players move their controllers too fast while keeping your movements in check. Games generally last less than a few minutes, some are over in seconds.
0:19 - You don't actually have to move in time with the music, Mc Shea! I went into this game thinking I'd have to be waving the Move like a conductor's wand, which is clearly not the case. Fortunately, this was the extent of Tom's disinformation campaign.
0:33 - Two back-to-back instances of verbal tactics. I begin advancing on Shaun McInnis with, "Hey Shaun. Hey Shaun. Hey Shaun." Then it sounds like Mc Shea says to Kurtis Seid, "What's Magrino doing?", in an effort to distract him into worrying about Tom Magrino. Not sure how either of those encounters ended up.
0:39 - My goon-walking phase (I'm the dude in the white t-shirt). While it was enough to make Giancarlo Varanini smile, it didn't pan out to be much of a strategy.
0:43 - Kurtis takes an lazy shot at Ryan Schubert with a small foam soccer ball. We stocked the room with a bunch of soft, throwable things to make projectile jousting a possibility for all. See if you can spot a stuffed football, a little pony, a Sonic the Hedgehog hat, a blue UFO, and Blinky from Pac-Man
0:52 - The devious and innovative Maxwell McGee grabs a desk chair, to Mc Shea's vocal dismay. This item will later be used as a defensive barrier, an offensive weapon, and a vehicle that at least one foolhardy editor (Mc Shea) tries to ride around (while using a broken fan cage as a shield).
1:16 - Out come a few extra props for prodding!
1:23 - Tom Mc Shea's offensive gambit backfires when Shaun stabilizies his controller and totally kicks Mc Shea in the nuts.
1:26 - The resilient Carolyn weathers a fake kick and a chair to the leg before succumbing to another fake kick (1:32) as Aron Vietti closes in from the other side. The crash noise you hear is emitted by the computer to let you know someone has been knocked out.
1:40 - Despite a nice block, Ryan succumbs to a lunge from Janmeja Heir. But take a look to the left and you'll notice that I am laid out on the floor, curled up like a bug. During a scuffle with Maxwell, I received a sharp strike to the back that resulted in some intense, albeit short-lived, discomfort. Was it his bony elbow? Was it that television lurking in the background? All we truly know is that Johann Sebastian Joust is not a game with its own perils. And that Maxwell is a total gentleman once he's eliminated you from competition (as evidenced at 3:15 and 3:21).
1:43 - I snuck The Claw into play by sticking it into the back of my pants, and Marko was the first person I tangled with. Though I manage to deftly parry his lunge with my children's toy, he gets the best of that encounter as my Move fizzles out.
1:46 - Maxwell kicks Mc Shea into a beanbag (the dude is ruthless!), but at what cost?
1:48 - A projectile montage that features three of my best throws of the night. The first never actually hits Tom, but whizzes so close to his face that his involuntary startled jerk knocks him out. The other two are direct hits, but my favorite throw of the night was when, from across the room, I bounced the foam soccer ball off of the glowing tip of Carolyn's controller and eliminated her. Headshot! (My worst one, incidentally, was when I chucked a stuffed pony directly into Maxwell's face. He spectating at the time.)
1:56 - Here we see Tom implementing a tactic I like to call, The Bum Rush. Because your controller can never move too slowly, Tom has placed it on the ground and darted after his opponents. If he can get to them all before they find his idle controller, victory shall be his! Anytime you see someone moving MUCH faster than anyone else, odds are it's a Bum Rush in action.
1:58 - Kurtis saves John Davison the indignity of being Bum Rushed by drilling him in the face with a pillow. How thoughtful!
2:10 - Giancarlo gets in a sneaky, cheeky slap on Maxwell, but as we see in the next scene, knocks himself out in the process. There are many other instances of such jousting hubris in the video, where the aggressors end up knocking themselves out as well. There's some sort of zen observation to be made here, I'm sure.
2:16 - This face-off ends with Marko falling onto a big white beanbag, much to everyone's delight. Unfortunately for him, that big dark cloth is covering a dangerous nest of music game peripherals. Having covered this hazard myself, I can confidently deduce that at 2:20, Marko hits his head on the upright leg of a drumset without the drum pads attached. Ouch!
2:22 - Mc Shea gets Bum Rush-happy! Seeing him coming for me with that hideous Sonic scalp, I instinctively set my controller down and went in for the tackle. I knew bowling him over and finding his controller was my only chance, but I only succeeded at the first part (this may also have involved some inadvertant crotch trauma for the beleaguered Mc Shea).
2:30 - Tyler Winegarner had been lying on the floor for a good 30 seconds at this point. No one messed with him and he just lay there with a huge grin on his face. Huge! Then Marko decided the free ride was over, and dropped a beanbag on him. C'est la joust!
2:34 - "Zee bubble wrap, it does nah-sing!" John is happy to demonstrate to Shaun that this is not an Egg Drop contest by bludgeoning him with an inflatable tommy gun.
2:44 - Kevin VanOrd leads Maxwell on a merry chase that comes to an abrupt halt with a quick slap from Marko. Ever the good sportsman, Kevin has the composure to accept defeat in his best Alvin and the Chipmunksvoice (thanks for that, Wernher!).
3:01 - Mc Shea puts a roaring spin on the Bum Rush, and Erick Tay isn't able to stop himself from smiling (or getting eliminated).
3:12 - Marko and Jan demonstrate the grace, elegance, and athletic prowess required to be a GameSpot employee.
3:25 - WHOMP!
3:35 - Many thanks indeed, Doug Wilson!
3:39 - He didn't *technically* get decked that round, but I did go on to claim the night's final victory (as least that's how I remember it).
And there you have it. Spot anything funny that I missed? Who seemed like the most formidable competitor? Favorite moments? Let me know in the comments!
You may have glimpsed this list as part of our Personal Perspectives: The Top Ten of 2011 feature, but I thought I'd repost it here for posterity's sake. Also, I intend to use this blog business a little more frequently in the coming year, and I figured posting something I've already written would be a decent way (okay, maybe just a passable way) to ease back into things.
I had a great time writing this list, and really enjoyed taking a slightly different approach than is customary for end-of-the-year lists. Hope you enjoy it too!
The end of the year here at GameSpot always involves some careful measuring. As we debate the best this year had to offer, we must consider games in their entirety, weighing and balancing each part in order to catalog, compare, and choose the nominees and winners across a broad range of categories. My favorite part of this process is always when my compatriots diverge from calculation and describe the moments that made a given game special for them. Seeing their eyes light up as they recount the experiences that delighted them over the past year is always a treat, and it reminds me why I (and countless others) have so much love for video games. And so my top ten list does not document what I reckon to be the best games of the year, but rather chronicles my favorite gaming experiences from this year.
10. Surprised with emotions (Gears of War 3)
I've played Gears. I like Gears a lot. But if you'd have told me that Gears of War 3 would make me feel strongly about the Gears characters, I would have been skeptical. I regarded Delta Squad as gruffly charismatic in their way, but outside of some nicely scored trailers, I never really thought of them as sympathetic characters. But then Cole Train walked into a grocery store and caught a glimpse of his past life. Then Dom got behind the wheel of a tanker. Then Marcus was left in a world that his brother-in-arms and his father both chose to leave. For all the groan-worthy quips and action movie cliches, Gears of War 3 delivered moments of genuine pathos that surpassed any shooter storytelling in recent memory.
How many times have you gone back to that game/movie/ TV show/book/8-track/zoetrope you enjoyed as a younger person and thought, "Man, time has not been kind to this thing that I once esteemed"? Well, thanks to the wizards at 343 Industries and Grezzo, the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia aren't just a figure of speech anymore. The extensive visual overhauls granted to these two classic games did a fantastic job of preserving the original aesthetics while bring the presentation values into the modern era. Sure, some gameplay joints were a little creaky, but playing through these loving remakes of two of my favorite games ever was an awesome experience that honored and revitalized my fond memories. (Honorable Mention: Beyond Good & Evil HD -- A wonderful game given a great visual treatment, but alas! The poorly-rigged camera controls!)
8. A new hope (Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP)
2011 will forever live in history as the year Chris Watters got himself an iPhone, a landmark that is utterly insignificant to people who aren't my family, close friends, or Twitter followers (no, @CTWatters is not above shameless self-promotion). After playing just an absurd amount of Boggle, I reached for unfamiliar fare, enjoying both Continuum 2 and Jetpack Joyride. These relatively casual endeavors delighted me for a time, but when I first played Sword & Sworcery, I was entranced. The art style, the music, the characters -- this game had atmosphere in a way I'd never expected. And it wasn't just the novelty of seeing it on a mobile device, it was the thrill of realizing that I hadn't played anything quite like this at all. If this is possible, what could the future hold? It's an oft-repeated observation, but there's nothing like having a game open your eyes to the joyful uncertainty of new possibilities.
7. Watch me soar (Capsized)
We've all seen astronauts, right? Lumbering around in those unwieldy suits like so many Stay-Puft Marshmallow Men? It's hard to imagine them making good action heroes, but then there's Capsized. Crash-landed on a verdant alien planet teeming with lovely flora and deadly fauna, you must navigate each level with only a few tools at your disposal. You can jump. You have a jetpack. You have an elastic grapnel hook. And you have a gun that shoots a jet of force that will either propel you, the thing next to you, or both. From this modest suite of locomotive mechanics blossoms a versatile and liberating capacity for movement. Swinging, slingshotting, and rocketing around levels is a joy, whether they be claustrophobic or spacious. Capsized may drop you into an alien habitat, but before too long you are moving through it with the grace of a native.
"Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing." - GLaDOS
"You ask: Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: Why not marry safe science if you love it so much?" - Cave Johnson
"Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect. Holmes versus Moriarty. Aristotle versus MASHY SPIKE PLATE!" - Wheatley
"The square root of rope is string." - Fact Core
The personalities in Portal 2 have quickly passed into the pantheon of video game writing, so I'll just leave those few quotes up there to offer a few chuckles. The other character highlight for me this year was Missile, an adorable little Pomeranian who starts off as a cute pet and becomes a character of significant importance. He looks charming as he bounces along on screen, but it's his dialogue that really won me over. Not many of his lines approached the quote-ability of Portal 2, but with judicious use of capital letters and some well-timed screen-shaking, I was utterly enamored by this pup's buoyant devotion to saving his master.
(Honorable mention: Forty Five, SOCOM 4 -- This Korean Spec Ops soldier is more charismatic, expressive, and hard-nosed than her male counterparts, offering a great example of how to lend authenticity to the portrayal of female soldiers.)
5. Now that's what I call action (Resistance 3)
Some video game arsenals are good; the guns are fun to shoot and there's some decent variety. Some are great; the guns have real impact and make you feel powerful. And some inspire GameSpot editors to create a new video feature (The Gun Show) and a new Special Achievement category for their Best of 2011 awards (Best Arsenal); that's Resistance 3. But the diverse and deadly guns are only the half of it. It's also the lack of regenerating health, which forces you to move when your instincts are to stay put. It's the tenacious enemies, who come at you in aggressive waves and force you to aim sharply. It's the prevalence of ammunition, which is great enough that you rarely run out but not so great that you can rely on your few favorite weapons. In the best parts of Resistance 3's campaign, these elements combine to create an exhilarating strain of action that is unmatched in the current shooterscape.
4. Fun with magnets (Red Faction: Armageddon)
For all the hilarious lines in Portal 2 and wacky situations in Saints Row: The Third, it was Red Faction: Armageddon that made me laugh out loud the most this year. Specifically, it was the magnet gun. By firing an attractor and then a magnet, you could take advantage of the robust destructibility and amusing ragdoll physics to wreak all sorts of merry havoc. I liked sending the side of a building across the room to blindside an enemy that was intently shooting me. And bringing the ceiling down on an enemy's head. And bouncing enemies off of the ceiling. Or dragging enemies from the ceiling down to splatter on the floor in front of me (and if they don't die, punching them to death on the one-hop.) Enemies into other enemies, buildings into other buildings, explosives tanks into bridges I clearly need to traverse -- all of this mayhem delighted me to no end, and I'm laughing right now just writing about it.
3. Survival instinct (Dark Souls)
Okay, so Dark Souls is hard. The environments are deadly and the enemies moreso. Progress is difficult to win and easily lost. Gaining small victories in the face of ever-looming death is certainly satisfying, but Dark Souls didn't really invade my mind until I realized it was teaching me how to survive. Sure, every game does this to some extent, but I reached a point hours into Dark Souls when it occurred to me that my successful evasions and desperate escapes were fueled by instinct. I wasn't actively thinking, "Careful! There are lizards here. Okay, I'll be safe if I head over this way." I was thinking, "OH CRAP THE CURSE LIZARDS AAAHHHH THEY ARE BEHIND ME NONONO!!" while I was somehow avoiding, outmaneuvering, and slaying them. Realizing that I could inhabit Dark Souls on a significantly deeper level than I could most games was more than a little startling, but immensely cool.
What can I say? I'm a sucker for class-based multiplayer. Virtual battlefields where players have different roles and abilities are more diverse and exciting, and I love being a part of them. From Killzone 3's snowy shootouts to Battlefield 3's dusty destructibility, these two games consumed a significant portion of my personal gaming time this year. I mostly went Medic in Killzone 3, zapping people with my little health gun and standing back up to murder my enemies when they had written me off as down for the count. For Battlefield 3, I mixed it up in order to make the most of the Engineer's anti-vehicle capabilities and Support's endless streams o' bullets (being a pest with mortars is pretty fun too). Knowing that I could jump into these competitive multiplayer matches and play a variety of different roles kept these games fresh for me and gave me something to strive for. And the fact that they both looked stellar certainly didn't hurt.
1. Part of your world (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)
I harvested a plant down by the river, which I knew to be Nirnroot from its pale leaves. I reforged a legendary amulet that scores of men died to protect. I read protracted theological debates in a quiet room. I killed a frost-spewing dragon. I mined gold, smelted ore, crafted necklaces, sold them to a merchant, and went furniture shopping. I slew a cave full of trolls. I tried to cross a river and fell down a small waterfall. I possess a powerful gift unseen for decades. I play hide and seek with kids. This juxtaposition of epic deeds and everyday endeavors is what draws me into Skyrim and grabs a hold of me. The staggering abundance of people, places and things creates the sense that there is a world here, an ecosystem of which I am a part. A unique part, yes, but not so special as to be above cooking a hearty stew or gathering some flowers in my travels. Skyrim deftly incorporates the exceptional and the mundane in one expansive world, and perhaps its most impressive accomplishment isn't that it makes me feel like a hero, it's that it makes me feel like an ordinary man.
You ever reach that point in the afternoon when you just need a break? Something to lighten the mood? A brief mental vacation from the stresses and worries of the workaday week? Well, this afternoon Shaun McInnis and I reached such a point. The following instant message conversation is what transpired. It started off when I inquired if he had any margaritas. He responded that I should check down the street at Chevy's, our local national Mexican food chain with a penchant for creative naming and excitable promotions. I ventured the following:
WEDNESDAY NIGHT IS 5-FOR-6 TAQUITO NIGHT
...to which Shaun responded:
GET BLITZED ON BEEF QUESARITOS FROM 6-6:15PM AT CHEVY'S
...and it was on:
Chris: HAPPY MINUTE EVERY OTHER 20 MINUTES HALF PRICE SAUZA-GLAZED CHICKEN DIPPERILLOS
Shaun: UNLIMITED CHEEZ FAJITA-O'S FOR ANYONE NAMED AMBER FROM 7-9 ON WEDNESDAYS
Shaun: GET LIT UP WITH UP TO FORTY-NINE FAMILY MEMBERS WITH UNLIMITED ORGANIC OREO MARGARITAS DURING RAMADAN
Chris: GET SOME SIZZLE UP IN YOUR GRIZZLE WITH THE ALL-NEW OSOS DELICIOSOS FRIED BEAR CLAWS FEATURING MEXI-TASTE BRAND SUGAR DROPS
Shaun: HEY PILGRIMS SET SAIL TOWARD RELIGIOUS FREEDOM ON OUR UNLIMITED NACHO BOATS DURING THANKSGIVING -- NOW WITH BEAN PASTE SMOOTHIES
Chris: ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, COWBOYS AND COWGIRLS SIPPED ON OUR SALTY SWEET SANGRIA SIX SHOOTER SAMPLER SHOTS. SAY IT FIVE TIMES FAST AND GET A SEVENTH SHOT FREE!
Shaun: ON THE FIRST DAY GOD CREATED OUR ADAM AND CHEESE QUESO PLATTERS -- THEY'RE INTELLIGENTLY DESIGNED TO BE MUY DELICIOSO!
Chris: WHEN JFK SAID "DO NOT PRAY FOR CHEESY LIVES", HE MUST NOT HAVE TASTED OUR COLD WAR NACHO BLOCKADE WITH CUBAN QUESO CRISIS SALSA! YOU STAND ON THE BRINK OF ANNIHIL-TASTE-TION!
Yes, it was in ALL CAPS. Yes, it got a little weird. And yes, it made me hungry. But we got a hearty laugh out of it and went on with our day. It's amazing what a good laugh can do to your mood. So get laughing, commenters! What TASTY DELICIOUS SPECTACULAR FOOD DISH DRINK DEAL SPECIAL EXTRAVAGANZA can you come up with?
Well, I'm back. After five days in San Diego and a few back in the office, I've had some time to reflect on my experiences at Comic-Con this year. I shared a bunch of them in the HotSpot, conveying mostly my affinity for the convention and the kind of atmosphere it engenders. But, despite all the fun I had hosting hours of live video and walking the show floor, there are some things that have stayed with me that I wish I'd done differently. So read on, dear reader, to read a reasonably readable list of some of my Comic-Con regrets.
1. Not taking a free pedicab ride. There were rows and rows of eager young bicyclists ready to haul me around the Gaslamp District in kingly fashion, yet I ignored them. I was happy to stretch my legs after hours in the Hard Rock suite/studio, though I can't say the same for some of my griping co-workers - four blocks isn't that far to walk for dinner, folks! It was the sponsored ones that offered free rides that I wish I had ridden, if only to lord my luxury over all whom I surveyed.
2. Not talking to Danny Pudi. So I sidled up to a urinal to make good use of it, and shortly realized that I was relieving myself next to Abed from the NBC comedy, Community. "Hey dude, I love your work on the show! We always quote your character in the office the day after a new episode! My wife and I are huge fans! You rock! Troy and Abed in tha MOOORnin'!" All of these lines remained unspoken as I evacuated my bladder in silence. By the time I was done, he was gone. Strangers At A Urinal Code upheld, opportunity missed.
3. Not buying books with pictures in them. This oversight was driven home when I unveiled my show floor haul to GameSpot EIC Ricardo Torres, who instantly admonished me for buying only books with words. I was happy with my purchases: a cheap copy of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin (gotta see what all the hype is about) and Embassytown by China Mieville, a modern British fantasy author who is one of my favorites. But c'mon! It's COMIC-Con! No comics? Not even a graphic novel?! In my defense, I would have grabbed some Buffy and Angel & Faith from the Dark Horse store, but the line was really long. Like, soo long. Not much of a defense, I know.
4. Not seeing Joss Whedon or David Jaffe. As you may have gathered, I'm a fan of Joss Whedon, and when I saw him three Comic-Cons (Comics-Con? No, Comic-Cons.) ago, I really enjoyed it. So when Community Maven Synthia came back to the work room late one night with a signed poster and news of more Dr. Horrible, I sighed a heavy sigh of regret. I would have loved to see the Twisted Metal panel, too. I'm not a big fan or anything, but David Jaffe is very passionate about the stuff he works on and has a lot of respect for the fans. I really enjoyed seeing him talk last year. This year, I had to content myself with watching the Twisted Metal panel video we shot.
5. Not buying this Martin Hsu print. I mean, look at it. So pretty! So colorful! So whimsical! So I-really-don't-have-a-good-place-for-it-in-my-apartment!
6. Not rebuking the Lord of the Rings: War in the North player during Tonight on the Spot. Check out that dude I talked to starting around five minutes in. He's all, The Lord of the Rings is super wordy! And I'm all, whatever dude your game froze I gotta go! And I shoulda been all, if you don't appreciate the elaborate world-building of a true literary master than maybe you should just hold your tongue, knave! Buuut I didn't. Ah well. Check it out below, and keep watching to see me, Jody, and Maxwell pose with Gandalf. True story.
The equipment is packed, the truck is away, and folks are starting to leave the office on this, the Friday before E3. An odd calm has started to creep in, and I find myself reminiscing a bit about past E's 3. This year is going to be quite a bit different as I'll be spending a lot more time on stage for our live show. Hosting demos up there is positively electric - the games are awesome, folks are stopping in the aisles to look, and the chat room and email are just silly with questions from the viewers. I'm really looking forward to it, and I hope you'll enjoy watching!
Here's a little souvenir from my jaunt down memory lane. This is my first E3 badge, from three years ago. Guess who else was there with me?
That's GameSpot's own Shaun McInnis hanging out back there, timing it just right to appear like a little homunculus over my shoulder. What a delightful individual. I suggest you check out his E3 video blog for a last round of candid interviews with some of the GS staff. Pretty well done stuff. For a little homunculus.
So as you may have guessed, a significant amount of my time has recently been spent working on the Homefront review. As I fought my way through the brief campaign, I had a chance to meet some of the folks that populate this harrowing vision of America's future. Some of the chattier ones stayed with me throughout the adventure, forbidding me climb ladders before they did and exhibiting a superhuman resistance to bullets. Others I met in passing, exchanging a few pleasantries as we both went about our business.
And some wouldn't talk to me at all, content to live in their own selfish little worlds. I'm talking here about the children. The only time I got close to any whippersnappers was in the visit to Oasis, a makeshift community out in the wasteland of vacated suburbs. The first ones I approached ignored me completely, content to "slumber" near the fire even though it was midday. One of them appeared to be having a bad dream. Either that, or he was pooping in his sleeping bag.
My next encounter with a wee one proved to be a bit dicier, as this one was guarded by a grown-up lady. She wasn't about to indulge my curiosity, and I didn't want to tell her that her baby looked dead. Fortunately, she seemed to notice something was amiss herself, which saved me the awkwardness of having to bring it up.
After I made my exit from this den of weirdos, I emerged into the backyard to find the weirdest weirdo of all. A child on a swingset. He seemed innocuous enough, engaged as he was in the honored childhood past-time that also makes most adults nauseous. Yet upon further inspection, it became clear that this was no child, but some strange misproportioned homunculus. Perhaps the settlers were keeping him as a sort of psychological warfare, or perhaps he just wandered in one day and no one had the courage to expel him and his overdeveloped shoulders.
As my dramatic language can attest, this little fella became quite the phenomenon around the office. Actually, I need to give credit to Shaun McInnis for spotting him during his time with the preview code. It was Shaun's initial reaction that led to the elevation of this "child" to near legendary status. For such a creature, no mere screenshot will suffice!
The least I could do was spring for the laser light background. If you want to see this lil' guy in action, check out the video review and scan forward to the 5:30 mark. You'll see. Then come back and let me know what you think. If enough people take a liking to this fella, I'll add an epilogue that includes a grim theory about his origin story.
I had a pretty great weekend. Yet in a weekend filled with naps in the sun, gorgeous sunsets, happy hours, a Super Bowl party at my place, indoor climbing, movie night, and spending time with my two-month old niece, the thing I'm thinking about on Monday morning is the Killzone 3 Multiplayer Open Beta.
I spent about five hours over the course of the weekend playing as the Field Medic. I invested every unlock point I earned in that class, discovering such delights as the Medi-Droid, a little flying gunbot that helped me earn a bunch of kills and assists. Even after I had been mortally wounded, I'd wait to respawn as long as my droid was alive and there were enemies nearby, chuckling as the droid shot up confused enemies who thought they had properly dispatched me. The little guy ain't much for stealth, but it did alert me to the presence of some flanking foes in time to save my hide.
Another favorite unlock was the ability to basically revive myself. This third-tier unlock lets you "stand up" after you have been mortally wounded and the respawn timer has ticked down. You can do it only once per life, but it's great ability, especially when your enemies don't take the time to finish you off. There were an astonishing number of players who didn't take the time to kill me when I was down and wounded, and you can bet your sweet bippy that I cackled with feral delight when I stood up and gunned them down.
I'm sensing a full-blown fever coming on here. And the only prescription is more K3 multiplayer.
Edit: Oh, and they are totally doing that good good stat-tracking. Check it!
This blog is a part of the scavenger hunt.
Share a couple of items on your Christmas wishlist this year.
Life Blu-ray (narrated by David Attenborough)
The Muppet Christmas Carol DVD
Civilization V for Mac
A high-quality umbrella
What games will you play during the holidays?
Though I'll be travelling and won't have much time for games, I'm hoping to get in some Halo: Reach multiplayer when I can. I might be hosting some friends for New Year's Eve, in which case Rock Band 3 and Dance Central will be in full effect!
What are the kinds of food or drinks you must have during the holidays?
Homemade Christmas cookies are always a must, as are hot drinks to keep me warm. Hot cocoa, hot cider, and hot toddies!
ORNAMENT HUNT ANSWER - CLUE 5
Here at GameSpot we make it a policy to, whenever possible, use assets that we have taken ourselves in our reviews. This means that, as a reviewer, I take a lot of screenshots and video when playing a game. Not all of them turn out well. Some are blurry and some are of nothing, but there are always a few that come through looking absolutely ridiculous. I refrain from posting these to our galleries, but I have a fair amount of shots on my desktop in a "Screenshot Rejects" folder, just waiting to be internetted. The time for action has come.
So without further ado, Dead to Rights: Retribution, as seen through screen captures that didn't make the cut!
Jack is a pretty athletic fighter, but this move would not look out of place is Swan Lake. He's not far from a full-on split!
A fake in-game ad for a movie called Fathom Crash, featuring the tagline "Pressure Builds, Fear Rises." Notable because they have put a freaking SHARK MOUTH on a GIANT MANTA RAY!! That is rad and terrifying and hilarious all at once!
Try to figure out how that guy's arm got there and you will hurt your brain.... you're trying aren't you? And now it hurts, doesn't it! Told you.
Snoozing or Snorting?
Another dose of in-game advertising, this time featuring an actual real life movie! I like how they added the date so as to ensure this content would be almost instantly outdated.
Is Shadow getting too enthusiastic? Did Jack punch a man so hard that he liquified? WHERE IS ALL THAT BLOOD COMING FROM?!
For the last image, I've compiled some helpful tips for you folks on how to perfectly execute Dead to Rights: Retribution's most iconic attack: The Scrotality.
So I'm officially in the thrall of Battlefield: Bad Company 2. I stay up too late playing it at night and I think about it way, way too much. When I'm not playing it, a part of me always wants to be playing it. Killzone 2 was the last online multiplayer game to grab me this completely, and I dare say BFBC2 might have a stronger grip. So much awesome!
But on to my anecdote and the question posed in the title of this entry. Last night I was playing on the 360 (I also dabble on the PS3) and decided to grab a few achievements. Signed on at about 11pm and got "Mission... Accomplished" in my first game. Two hours later in my this-is-the-last-one-for-real-this-time game, I got "The Dentist."
The Dentist achievement is rewarded for scoring a headshot with the engineer's repair tool. Normally reserved for fixing up friendly tanks or sabotaging enemy vehicles that you manage to sneak up close to. It's not exactly an anti-personnel device:
I mean, even the medic's defib pads are more sinister. But with the prevalence of recon players it isn't exactly rare to stumble upon a player so absorbed in his scope that he doesn't hear your approach. Then it's just a matter of pulling out the repair tool instead of the knife and BOOM! Headshot. Well, more like zzzZZZZ! ZZZZ! Z! ZZZZZ!!!! Headshot. It might have just been my positioning, but it really seemed like I had to take a few seconds to grind through the guy's skull in order to gib the grey matter inside.
I imagine that many of you, like me, feel an extra sting when you get killed by a knife. Maybe you carelessly let someone sneak up on you, maybe you just lost a knife fight. Either way, it stings. So I've got to imagine that realizing you were killed by a repair tool stings in the same way, but worse because your killer clearly went out of his way to pull out an unintuitive weapon and go to town on you. There's a mocking edge to it that the knife just doesn't have. So here's the question:
Does it make it better or worse to know that not only is your killer mocking you, he is earning an achievement for his troubles? Do you forgive him his affront because you sympathize with achievement seeking? Or does it rankle even more knowing that your humiliating death is now permanently enshrined in his profile and gamerscore?
I'm leaning towards the rankle. What do you think?
These quotes come largely from Mordin's loyalty quest. The embedded video is taken from later on, after acquiring the IFF, I believe.
Get a load of this guy:
Mordin Solus. This quirky Salarian genius cracks me up. His speech is so halting and abrupt, yet he is one of the most expressive characters in the game. I managed to scratch down some snippets from his quick delivery, though I must admit that I was loath to turn my attention elsewhere while he was speaking.
Mordin On Diversity
"Outliers in all species. Geniuses, idiots. But human probability curve offers greater variety."
Which raises an interesting point about galactic diversity. Sure, the Asari and the Krogans look very different from each other, but within the species, how much diversity is there? You never see a pink Asari, for example, or a Krogan that doesn't look angry as hell. Skin color is an outward racial identifier among humans upon which no shortage of prejudice is founded. I wonder, do Turians make judgements about each other based on their facial structure or the angle of their pointy head thingies? Does the height and curvature of a Salarian's horn-type dealies indicate his racial heritage? Or perhaps other species in the galaxy follow Mordin's urging when evaluating each other:
"No, ignore superficial appearance!"
Mordin On The Genophage
"Genophage not punishment. Simply alters fertility to correct for removal from hostile environment."
Probing Mordin on his work with the genophage produces some of the most interesting moral discussion in Mass Effect 2. Learning about the Salarians' role in first accelerating Krogan evolution and then retarding it is fascinating to me. That one species could so radically affect the other, yet still coexist on the galactic stage! Mordin, on behalf of his species, acknowledges how destructive it was to use the Krogan as soldiers against the Rachni. Anyone who has visited Tuchanka knows how the advanced weapon tech led to the repeated destruction of the Krogan homeworld. The Salarians seriously meddled with Krogan civilization, and in your dialogue options you get to choose how understanding or critical you are of their actions (for my part, I went the understanding route in hopes of getting him to talk more!). Aside from wanting to be a part of one of the most challenging scientific undertakings of his age, Mordin's actions are rooted in his personal philosophy:
"Rachni extinction tragic. Didn't want to repeat. All life precious. Universe demands diversity."
Mordin On Coping
"Personal. Private. Not appropriate for team."
When the genophage was successful, the result was devastating to the Krogan. Mordin tells about how he went to a Krogan planet to see the effects of his work, to fully comprehend what he had wrought. His recollection of seeing piles of stillborn Krogan young is heart-wrenching. Salarians may process emotion much faster than humans, but Mordin still uses seemingly universal mourning mannerisms when he talks about this tragedy. His voice gets quiet, his speech cadence slows, his gaze lingers a little bit longer in one place. He's very emotive. Perhaps, too much so?
I keed! I keeeed!
Mordin On Krogan Scientific Progress
"Good. Hate to see that."
'Cause if them Krogans learn them some anti-genophage science, hoooWEEE! That'd put us in a pickle.
Mordin On Stage?
"Gilbert and Sullivan. Always had me do the patter songs."
I watched this with my jaw on the floor. Then I exploded with laughter and delight. Then I watched it again. And again.
**WARNING** This series will contain Mass Effect 2 spoilers. Before I get into spoiler territory, I will try to note how far along I was when each entry was conceived, but I make no promises. Proceed at your own risk.
I make a habit of keeping a small notebook next to me when I play games at home. Sometimes, it just kind of sits there while I busy myself with shooting people in the face. Other times, I use it to jot down ideas, record quotes, or describe memorable moments from the game I'm playing. It's become an amusing log of my gameplay adventures
Given the volume of pages that has thus far been taken up by Mass Effect 2, I decided that it's high time I use these notes in a more productive manner. To that end, I'm starting a blog series called The Quotable Mass Effect 2. Using quotes I pulled from the game as touchpoints, I'll be revisiting moments from the game and sharing my thoughts about them. With any luck, some of those moments will have resonated with you folks as well, and you'll add your own perspective in the comments. And should you feel so inclined, please feel free to write your own volume of The Quotable Mass Effect 2!
Note: This entry deals with an enemy encounter about 11 hours into the game, and I will try to write as if I was at that point in the game. As of this writing, I have currently played 30 hours of the game, and recruited every squad member currently available to me. I have at least one mission left before presumably rocking the Omega 4 Relay.
"We are the harbingers of your ascension."
This ominous bit of battlefield chatter comes from my first encounter with the Collectors on Horizon. I love how sinister and full of portent the word "harbinger" is. And speaking of sinister: insects. The cinematic before you land on Horizon shows the Collectors' first assault wave, those nasty flying bugs that paralyze their victims. As I watched the insects overtake the colonists, I thought to myself that the swarm was like an organic WMD. Of course, the point of the swarm was the opposite of mass destruction, so maybe chemical warfare would be a more appropriate comparison?
Either way, the swarm was such an effective weapon of war that it hardly seemed fair. How do you combat a plague of paralyzing locusts? Recruit a genius Salarian, apparently. As I prepared to land on the planet, I wondered about the Collector ship. It has the hard metallic lines of a proper spaceship, but the rough brown growths on the outer hull look organic. They remind me of termite mounds. Maybe that's where the Collectors house their insect swarm? Even the Collector weaponry mirrors the look:
It feels very organic. The o-word raises some questions about our suppositions about the Collectors. One current theory is that they may be working with the Reapers. But, don't the Reapers visit the Milky Way every 50,000 years to destroy all civilized organic life? It makes sense for them to work with the Geth, their little robot murder buddies, but the Collectors seem like a civilized organic race. Why would the Collectors collaborate with anti-organic genocidists?
SO HERE'S MY THEORY: The Collectors are avid harvesters, showing up intermittently on the fringes of galactic space to trade for odd things, then disappearing. This we know. Maybe they are trying to harvest the best elements of organic life and civilization in order to combat the Reapers! By incorporating technology and genetic code from the most advanced species, maybe the intelligent Collectors are constructing organic superbeings to wage war on the Reapers. Maybe they've been plotting this for hundreds of thousands of years, for many Reaper cycles, awaiting the day that they can strike at the Reapers and make the universe safe for organic civilization -- or to take their place as near-omnipotent galactic overlords?
Perhaps this is the "ascension" mentioned in the quote above. The Collectors come to assimilate humanity and, in their view, elevate them to a higher, more powerful, more evolved state. In the mission it seems that Shepard's Reaper-beating history and growing influence is showing up on their radar. If Shepard knew this was their plan, would Shepard collaborate or see them as an equal threat to humanity and galactic civilization?
It raises some interesting possibilities. Anyone up for some creative conjecture?
Bonus Codex Note
When you take your first steps on Horizon en route to the besieged colony, you pass a tree that is swarming with large insects. I instinctively went on high alert, because I just saw similar insects playing freeze tag with the colonists. But further inspection revealed that the insects were actually swarming around what looked like a nest in the tree. The Collector swarm couldn't have nested that quickly, I figured, as that wouldn't jive with the Collectors' hit-and-run strategy. So this must be a local species, which feels kind of like BioWare telling me a scary story and then saying, "BOO! Haha, gotcha!"
Of course, BioWare wouldn't just leave it at that. would they? As it turns out, no. From the codex entry on Horizon:
"Large flying insect analogues take advantage of the thicker-than-Earth atmosphere and low gravity to grow enormous."
Love the thoroughness, the attention to detail. Also, using "analogue" in this biological sense is my new goal. "I know this puzzle might seem tricky to you, but try to use your primitive brain analogue to figure it out."
Thus concludes Volume 1 of The Quotable Mass Effect 2. Let me know what you think, and share any inspirations or reflections of your own in the comments. Try to keep things on the same spoiler level as this post, and if you say anything about the endgame I will be very very displeased. Cheers!
Last October, to accompany our Hands-On Multiplayer preview of Army of Two: The 40th Day, EA sent over a batch of screenshots showcasing everyone's favorite wise-cracking, rough-and-tumble mercenaries, Tyson Rios and Elliot Salem. Earlier this week, I captured a screen from almost the exact same moment in the game. It was a total coincidence, I assure you (no seriously, I'm not kidding). Let's see if we can spot the difference between a PR playthrough and a GS playthrough!
Gritty, geared-up, and ready to bro-- I mean, go:
Gritty, geared-up, and ready to-- show and tell?
Meet my Aggrainbow SMG! Shoot a few bullets with that thing and you're certain to draw aggro away from you partner. Nothing cheeses off enemy mercenaries quite like being shot up with rainbow jigsaw bullets! (And yes*, being able to phase your fingers through the stock costs extra).
I spent a lot of 2009 playing Fallout 3. I loved exploring the world and trying to imagine myself in it. When I exited the Vault, I paused to contemplate what it might be like to have never set foot outside. And when I stumbled upon folks in the wastes I thought, what could you possibly do all day in a world like this? It provided some interesting moments, one of which I scribbled up as follows:
"You sit atop a silo in the northeastern Capital Wasteland, shooting at Giant Radscorpions powerless to harm you below. A missle flies by, 3 ft. from your face. Then a man in a trenchcoat and fedora is next to you. TWANG. BANG."
This is from the perspective of a Raider I encountered one afternoon. I shot a missle his way, but heavy weapons weren't really my area of expertise, so the shot went wide. Then my Mysterious Stranger perk kicked in, and he appeared on the walkway next to the Raider, and gunned him down.
I laughed for about four minutes straight picturing these events from the Raider's perspective. The dude has found himself a sweet spot at the top of a tower with no discernible way for any hostile creatures or wastelander to reach him. He's dicking around, taking potshots at radscorpions with his crappy hunting rifle. Just another dull day in his dull existence. Maybe some poor sap will wander by and he can ki--
"WTF? Was that a missile?! Who the fOH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU COME FRUUUuuuuuggghhh...."
hehehehe... oh man, it gets me every time. The last thing that dude saw was the muzzle flash of a magnum held by a teleporting man in a trenchcoat and fedora. Thank you Fallout 3 for creating a world where such a vast variety of things can happen!