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  • BPoole96
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4Dec 08

New Age Grammar

After viewing countless comments and posts that made my blood boil on sites such as this one, youtube, facebook, myspace, and various others. Because of this, I am going to re-create the outdated, useless alphabet that we currently use. Why even have one if nobody uses it? Its like speed limits, why even have signs if people go 10+ mph anyway?.

Well, here is is:

4 8 K D 3 F G |-| 1 J 1 M N 0(# zero) P Q |Z Z 7 U V W X Y

"A" did not make the cut since a 4 apparently look exactly like an A.

"C" has become obsolete since "K" is much more intimidating.

"E"= 3. Again, apparently they look exactly the same

1 has replaced i and l for obvious reasons.

"S" is now a sissy (or "zizzy") letter, Z is much cooler anyway.

"X" is now a vowel, since its usage has five-folded from the old alphabet.

The suffix "ate" is simply replaced by 8, just as "to" or "too" are replaced by "2".

AlSo, WhEn tRyInG tO sOuNd PrOfEsSiOnAl, TyPe LiKe THiS!!!!

When signing your name, always include the sequence "1337" following your name to make you seem even more professional.

Also, no usage of grammar will be used either. Commas, question marks, and other forms of grammar are not used, so why even include them.

With this new alphabet, words will become so much "cooler". Some examples include the word "Awesome" becomes 4w3zom3, "Chaos" becomes KH40Z, and the phrase "H ELL YEAH" becomes H311 Y34H. I think these guidelines will really help many generations to come on proper grammar. This new grammar is new, hip, trendy, and embodies all that is cool so why not use it? Its so hip that it should be taught in "skewl".

Well, this wraps up the guidelines for New Age Grammar. Leave some comments and tell me what you think.

-BPoole

P.S.- I really hope everybody caught the sarcasm of this.

  • Posted Dec 4, 2008 7:39 pm PT
  • Category: Writing
  • 9 Comments

9 Comments

  • navigata

    Posted Dec 4, 2008 7:45 pm PT

    Dud3 th1z P0zt 1z 1337 3p1K PwNg3 1N tH3 F4C3!1

    But seriously, wats with all these ppl talking like this? That above little comment took me like 2 mins lol. WHO The hell has that much time? Like seriously..So dumb.

  • powerman91

    Posted Dec 4, 2008 7:51 pm PT

    N1C3 BL0G 0NC3 4G41N! W17H 7H1Z GR4MM3R N0W W3 K4N 411 83 PR0!!!

    Everybody should use this grammar. I mean its just so much more faster and convenient to put numbers where letters should be!! Not at all harder or more time consuming!

  • FetusZero

    Posted Dec 8, 2008 3:26 am PT

    hahahah 1337 language, man I haven't seen actual 1337 in a while. Unfortunately I don't know every single shortcuts to special characters on my keyboard in Linux, otherwise I'd complicate things even more in your alphabet, since using special characters can literally remove every single letter from your alphabet, such as the Y, K, R, etc. zw337.

  • xX_-X-_Xx

    Posted Dec 8, 2008 9:23 am PT

    no comment, upon reading this i was put into utter disarray.

  • Elimin8er_93

    Posted Dec 8, 2008 2:32 pm PT

    HAHA! thats all i can say. you got them good! yea i hate it when people do all of the above! its annoying. like this girl on my myspace ALWAYS uses the 4 as a "A" uh! annoying! and i didnt know you had a myspace?? add me you D-BAG! lol jk

  • Elimin8er_93

    Posted Dec 8, 2008 2:36 pm PT

    oh!! and you know what else??! the "$" as a "S" i know it looks similar but come on whoever uses it probably doesnt even have alot of money. like the gangsters where i live aways use $ for their names like $peedy loc$ LOL and not to be mean but they're dam poor. the only person in the world that should be able to use that is Bill Gates lol

  • BPoole96

    Posted Dec 8, 2008 2:54 pm PT

    lol i dont think Bill Gates would do that since hes not a f ag

  • Chaos_Bladez

    Posted Dec 10, 2008 8:09 pm PT

    My name: KH40Z_B14D3Z

    Yeah it's pretty dumb. I hate it.

    I especially hate it when it becomes SO "PWN" language that it is no longer comprehensible.

  • rocket9434

    Posted Dec 27, 2008 12:36 pm PT

    I hate when people type like that.

My Recent Ratings

Title Score
PixelJunk Shooter 8.5
Demon's Souls 9.0
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves 9.5
Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 9.5
Prince of Persia 4.0
Battlefield 1943 9.0
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune 9.0
Magic Ball 7.0
Crash Commando 8.0
Fallout 3 9.5
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