This is a collection of my thoughts on the various games that I play. I may rant or praise, or even both. It really depends on the game.
Be forewarned though, I've got spoilers in here and I'm not afraid to use them.

But that's okay, most of the games I play have been out for years anyway.

• 2Jun 06

  Aimbots, Camping, DTing, And Other Words I'm Tired Of Hearing.

  Howdy folks.  Today I have an old-fashioned rant for you all to read.  Bet you're thrilled eh?

  But this rant isn't about any game in particular, just a particular type.  In case you haven't guessed by the rant's title, I'm talking about online shooting games (and LAN games I suppose).  But even then, I'm still not ranting about the games themselves, but rather the people that they attract.  People like you and me.  And others, not so like you and me.  I'm sure everyone who reads this (yes, all one of you, fishdalf ) has had some experience with online gaming in some way, shape or form.  And I'm certain everyone has had their gameplay tactics badmouthed by at least one person.  Let's start with a commonly thrown about term that practically everybody knows.

  Camping:  Ah, camping.  The art of hiding away in a spot waiting for the opposition to wander by so you can blast their brains out.  You'll hear this one screeched at you throughout any first-person shooting game, such as Counter-Strike, Battlefield: 1942 or Quake.  Good camping spots include around your home flag (if you're playing Capture the Flag), an enemy's respawn area and if you're a terrorist in CS, then where the hostages are or where you plant the bomb.  But camping is so forbidden in many circles of gaming that it would almost certainly result in a kick and/or ban if you do not come out of your hidey-hole when politely asked "OMFG STOP CAMPIN U FG!"

  DTing:  I recently encountered this term while playing GunBound.  It seems DTing means 'Double-Teaming' which is another way of describing two teammates ganging up on a single opponent.  Like camping, this is frowned upon (God help us if there's a TT or a QT).  There's no exception to the rule.  It doesn't matter if you were blasted down to an area that blocked off three of the four opponents, if you go for that one available enemy while someone else was still firing upon it... Then my God, you're a horrible, horrible person.  Even your teammates would abandon you, as you 'stole their kill'.

  Aimbots:  Even if you play perfectly, that's not good enough.  If you pull off a move that by all means should fail, but happens to hit, then it didn't happen because of skill or luck, but purely because you're using an aimbot.  Even if you proved to be a no-hit wonder, if you get lucky once, then you're using an aimbot.  There's no other way.  Because after all, you're the n00b, while the one that got hit is a masta, a pro, the L33t of the L33t.

  Now, I find all the above rubbish.  Yes, I'm a camping, DTing aimbot.  Well, maybe not the last one.  But I do camp and DT.  And I don't see anything wrong with that.  I honestly don't.  The aim of the game(s) is to win, not to be fair.  You don't rack up Fairness Points for every camping spot you run by and don't use, or not firing upon someone that's already been targeted by someone else.

  Now, if someone on my team, said something like 'dont dt, this ones mine' and there were other enemies about, then yeah, I would probably leave them alone.  But otherwise, everyone's fair game.  No matter how.  I'm not that good at CS and the like, so if I see a way to attack while being pretty well defended/hidden, I'll take it.  All's fair in love and war.

  And speaking of war, I doubt there were sergeants running around the battlefield yelling at their soldiers, "FOR GOD'S SAKES, PRIVATE JOHNSON, DON'T SNIPE FROM UNDER THAT OVERTURNED JEEP!  YOU TWO, STOP FIRING AT THE SAME ENEMY!  HOW DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO FIGHT BOTH OF YOU AT ONCE?  JOHNSON, I TOLD YOU TO STOP CAMPING YOU F-ARRRRGHH!  DAMN AIMBOT!"

  My Final Word: Games were made to be won, and I play to win.  Fairness shouldn't be, and is not, an issue.  Fairness is not shooting your teammates on purpose.  It is not shooting from a place with no cover to hide behind because your opponent asked you to.  You want to face me out in the open, find me before I find that place in your base no-one bothers to check because who in their right mind would hide in the opponent's base?

  • Posted Jun 2, 2006 9:42 am PT
  • Category: Rant
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• 23Apr 06

  Comic Inside

  Click Here

  I don't know how Amy puts up with those two...

  I made this comic after I had an idea after playing Sonic Heroes for a while.  Most of Cream's line are truly ones that make you stop and do a double-take.  And to hear them in that voice of hers, ugh.  Not that I hate Cream or anything, it's just that she was very hard to listen to.

  For those of you who don't get some of the jokes, (not surprising if you haven't played the game) here's a short list of what I was thinking when I was putting this together.

  Panel 2: On the surface, this line looks quite innocent.  And it is fully 100% innocent.  However, everytime Cream said this or similiar, I could not help but think of that one F*R*I*E*N*D*S episode where Rachel overheard Monica calling Chandler Mr Big.  So you see why it icks me (and Amy) everytime to hear a six-year-old say Mr Big...

  Panel 3: After playing as Team Dark where everywhere you turn, there's a swarm of enemies nearby, to go from that to Team Rose where the largest group you might encounter at any one time is four robots, it's laughable when Cream freaks out about 'so many bad robots'...  She's right here though.  That is a bad robot. :p

  Panel 4: Jellyfish?  When I first saw this thing, my first thought was not a jellyfish.  Jellyfish do not have two long arms with big 'hands'.  And save you?  Gee, I had no intention of saving you since you're our team's only flyer, but since you asked so nicely, sure.

  Panel 5: This is without a doubt my favourite panel.  From Big and Cream telling off Robotnik and him responding with "oh ok", to Amy facepalming, I love it.  I mean, c'mon, what did those two expect Robotnik to do after they tell him not to be 'bad'?

  Panel 9:  Tails' voice isn't as bad as Cream's, but it's close.

  Well, there you have it.  I hope you enjoyed reading my first comic strip.

  • Posted Apr 23, 2006 6:12 pm PT
  • Category: Humor
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• 13Mar 06

  "I'm the real Sonic!" " *stands up* No, I'M the real Sonic!"

  Before I begin, I'd like to apologise for the lack of... well, anything.  My computer finally died late October so, if you sent me messages during my down-time, I'm sorry for not being able to respond.  Anyway, let the thoughts begin...

  Sonic Heroes.  It's a strange game.  It's been hailed as the saviour of the Sonic games, and also as the demise of the Sonic games.  So which one should you believe?  The answer is: Neither.  You have to judge for yourself.  Don't believe me?  Look at this example.

  Ages ago, my friend reviewed this game.  He hated it.  So much, that he took it back the next day to get his money back.  That's a pretty strong statement, right?  Everything he said about it made sense.  So I ended up avoiding this game.  Every time I saw it on the shelf, I scoffed at it and its $99.95 price.  Days went by.  Days turned into weeks, which turned into months.  All the while, the price went from $100 to $80 to $60 then settled at the standard half price, $49.95.

  Eventually, with each passing of the game, I would stop and look at it a bit more often.  I began to wonder, "Exactly how bad is this thing?"  But the price was still too high for me to buy a 'known' bad game.  (Renting the game wasn't really an option to me, it seems that every damn video store here has the Gamecube on some sort of blacklist.  But they'll quite happy rent out Nintendo 64 games. o_O  Someone wanna explain that to me?) Then a month or so ago, it went all the way down to $30.  I've never seen a store mark a well-known game that low that wasn't second-hand.  I gave in to curiosity.  I had to know if this game was really as bad or as good as they say.  So, was it?

  In a word, no.  In many words, it was neither brilliant nor crap.  It was just an average game with some very good points, and some very bad points.  Let's look at each part of the game and see where it both excels and fails.

  First, the story.  Four teams of three each have a different story, Team Sonic are out to stop Robotnik (yes, I know his name has been changed/reverted to Eggman, but I like the name Robotnik, so there.  ), Team Dark are also out to find Robotnik but in order to destroy him/steal his treasure/find out information.  Team Rose are out to find Sonic, who apparently had Froggy and Chocola (every time I hear that name, I think of chocolate milk mixed with Coca Cola.  Bleah..) with him at one point.  And Team Chaotix is a detective agency who must help a mystery client. (A mystery to those who have never seen such a plot twist anyway...)  Sounds good?  Yeah, except when you find out they all go through every stage the exact same way!  So the plot doesn't really matter, it's just a way of filling in the gaps.

  Next up, is the characters.  You have three characters, a speedster, a flyer and a powerhouse.  Sounds reasonable.  You immediately think of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles and it fits.  But what about the other teams?  Namely Team Rose?  Who's the speedy one out of Amy, Cream and Big?  Who?!  AMY?!  Amy, the pink hedgehog, who has throughout the Sonic history been noted as slower than a turtle with a three-ton weight on its back, is the speed character?!  And not only that, somewhere between Sonic Adventure and Sonic Heroes, she has turned from an admirer of Sonic with a huge crush, to some sort of psychopath fangirl, obsessed with marrying Sonic.  That is not the Amy I intentionally liked.  This isn't the Amy you're looking for.  Move along.

  The bosses are really really... uninspired.  It's all the same thing.  Run run run, jump, hit hit hit, run run run, punch punch, hooray a winner is you.  Either that, or you'll face regular enemies in an arena for three minutes or so before Robotnik gives up and says, "Don't get too excited boys, those were the easy ones!" *disappear*  Yeeeah.  I'm playing Team Rose with two girls out of three and he still says that.  Nice editing job guys.

  But speaking of bosses, I have to admit I really like the final boss fight.  Possibly because IT'S A TOTAL REMAKE OF THE FINAL FIGHT FROM FINAL FANTASY VII!  Don't believe me?  Metal Sonic transforms into a giant mass of... metal which really has the same shape and look as JENOVA.  Not only that, teams of three attack it from different points to weaken it.  Then the main team attacks it in midair before defeating it.  It's FFVII with Sonic characters.  The only thing missing is Sonic attacking a regular Metal Sonic afterwards with multiple Light Dashes or something.

  Oh, and another thing about the last story.  When I saw Team Sonic about to transform with the Chaos Emeralds, I was really excited.  I thought, "Finally, Super Tails and Knuckles!"  I mean, they were in Sonic 3&K, so it's not totally unreasonable.  Instead, we get Tails and Knuckles covered with a bubble shield or something.  We got Bubble Tails and Knuckles.  Come on!  All I wanted was a Super Tails and Knuckles, it's not like I was after Super Amy (though that would be cool) or anything.  I just didn't want Goku with two bubbles.

  Oh yes, Super Sonic in Sonic Heroes is Goku from Dragonball Z.  Apart from the obvious Super Saiyan look (which I don't really mind), Super Sonic's lines could've come from Goku himself.  Read these lines while looking at a picture of Goku:

  "You thought you could actually defeat me, by turning into a MONSTER?"

  "Too bad it's all over, FOR YOU!"

  "Anytime you want a rematch, I'll be waiting."

  Uncanny, isn't it?

  But despite those downfalls of the game, it's not that bad of a game.  Sure, sometimes you'll have to remember to move a little to the right after flying of a pole because the game has angled you so you'll fall into nothing instead of onto the rail, and the game may decide to swing the vines backwards instead of forward when trying to outrun the giant alligator, and doing the Ring Dash across a chasm may leave you falling to your death but...  I can't think of a way to end this positively.  Oh wait, yes I can.

  Compared to the other Sonic games, it's a terrible sequel.  But look at it by itself, and it's a fun game to play and well worth the $30 I spent on it.

  • Posted Mar 13, 2006 9:11 pm PT
  • Category: Games
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