...It's Serious. This should be mandatory listening for anyone who claims to know anything about alternative rock.

The past few days have been pretty boring, except for Friday when we went to Polytech for a biology experiment (their labs are way better than ours). For those who are knowledgable about biology, it was DNA electrophoresis. After that,we got to have a look at the proteins in our blood. Taking the sample was a real step for me due to my fear of needles (I refused to get my meningitis shots for this reason, and its also another reason why I'll never do heroin or any drugs which use needles) but I managed to man up enough, unlike Arnold (little b*tch) who (as far as I know) isn't afraid of needles but who couldn't find any blood. Karl also fainted when he took his blood sample, which was really wierd given that out of our group, he was the biggest and toughest; the last one who you'd expect to faint from blood. After we finished, since Mum's working down in Auckland I rode around town with His Holiness the Purple Pope, Grimwolf the First (yes, he's gone for a Furry name) in his Popemobile. That is, a 1999 Ford Mondeo that, by his own admission, is a total granny car. But it's an OK ride, and there are worse ways to spend a Friday arvo than cruising around town on a rare sunny winter day with Shihad and Disturbed playing at full blast, drinking Jim Beam (just me, as neither of us are stupid enough to drink and drive).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSvgAlH_bRU I may as well use the fact I was talking about blood to make an excuse to stare at Brody Dalle some more. Every time I look at her, I ask myself where I have to sign the contract Josh Homme signed for his soul. Seriously. No one man is that lucky.

Anyway, I'm going to cave into pressure and do what everyone else is doing (something that I usually don't do, on principle) and name my favourite artists of a particular decade. All genres are considered here. Some decade lists will be longer than others, but 30 artists per decade is the max. I'm also following Lockedge's rules; that is, only use an artist once and base it on where they were the most successful or the decade they are most recognised as being part of. These are also my favourite artists, so I'd appreciate it if you guys could do what I didn't do; that is, not slag me off for knowing absolutely nothing. If you still wish to slag me off for my hearing, musical taste, race or sexual preferences, go ahead.

60s

1) The Rolling Stones
2) The Beatles
3) Grateful Dead
4) Cream
5) Jefferson Airplane
6) The Byrds
7) The Velvet Underground
The Sonics (thank you Elmis)
9) The Yardbirds
10) The Beach Boys

70s

1) Black Sabbath
2) Led Zeppelin
3) The Ramones
4) The Sex Pistols
5) AC/DC
6) Pink Floyd
7) The Misfits
Patti Smith
9) Black Flag
10) The Who
11) The Buzzcocks
12) Judas Priest
13) David Bowie
14) Marvin Gaye
15) Genesis

80s

1) Metallica
2) The Smiths
3) The Cure
4) Sonic Youth
5) Michael Jackson
6) Ozzy Osbourne
7) Megadeth
Run-DMC
9) Red Hot Chili Peppers
10) Guns 'n' Roses
11) Killing Joke
12) A Tribe Called Quest
13) Pixies
14) Bad Religion
15) Beastie Boys
16) The Stone Roses
17) The Germs
1 Scream
19) Social Distortion
20) Anthrax

90s

1) Foo Fighters
2) Nirvana
3) Weezer
4) The Verve
5) Shihad
6) Kyuss
7) Blur
Soundgarden
9) Faith No More
10) Queens Of The Stone Age
11) Deftones
12) Rage Against The Machine
13) Radiohead
14) Alice In Chains
15) Jeff Buckley
16) Mudhoney
17) Tupac
1 The Offspring
19) Stone Temple Pilots
20) Screaming Trees
21) Pearl Jam
22) Nine Inch Nails
23) Smashing Pumpkins
24) Wu-Tang Clan
25) Pennywise
26) Eminem
27) Collective Soul
2 Mr. Bungle
29) Bush
30) Everclear

Oh my God, I can already hear the angry screams from Dee, Elmis and Ryan, the measured retorts of Lock that are somehow more cutting...well f*ck it, I'm not done.

00s

1) My Chemical Romance (if you didn't see this one coming, you've either never paid attention to anything I've said or have coral wedged in your frontal lobe. Thank you, Squidward, for that insult).
2) HIM
3) Disturbed
4) The Used
5) Evanescence
6) Kanye West
7) Arcade Fire
Kings Of Leon
9) Bright Eyes
10) Muse
11) Wolfmother
12) Avenged Sevenfold
13) The Strokes
14) Escape The Fate
15) Gorillaz
16) Bullet For My Vaentine
17) Seether
1 The Gallows
19) 3 Doors Down
20) Interpol

As you probably imagined, they're pretty different to most of yours since my tastes are quite different to most of you guys. I worship anything that is legitimately punk or near enough (i.e. not Blink 182 or anything Green Day did after 1992) but I regard most of the whole indie scene with disdain, particularly the self-righteous elements in indie music that claim that because they supposedly didn't "sell out," they're somehow better than everyone else. To which I say, f*ck you. Sometimes some of the best music can be found on a Warehouse shelf. Other times, it could be buried right at the back of the shelf at Musicor, which is how I discovered the Cure. Different strokes for different folks.

In other news, it's occured to me that my final exams, the ones that basically decide my future, are only about four months away, so I've decided (in a very uncharacteristic move) to actually take them seriously and start studying. In another move that seriously has me wondering what's up with me, I've decided to quit weed cold turkey until the exams are over, and also to cut back on the booze to once a week. Even though it's Saturday and I'm alone as per usual, I'm not drinking as I had my bender on Friday as mentioned before.

I also discovered a new show some weeks ago on Alt TV (our alternative/rock music channel) called The Grunge Lounge. With a title like that, I obviously had to check it out. I was actually surprised because it's not only an hour of grunge videos (though obviously a large part of it is) but it features all sorts of alt rock videos from all genres. The host, Dom, is a particularly big Mike Patton fan and through some of the clips, I've grown to become a huge fan also. It's a great show and if any of you are ever free at 5:00 NZ time (not sure how that converts for any of you except Elmis off the top of my head) go to alttv.co.nz and watch the live stream. Hell, some of the bands on my list were discovered via The Grunge Lounge (Mr Bungle and Bright Eyes in particular).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt856_nRxQk A clip from one of Mike Patton's numerous side projects.

Thought Of The Blog: "That's karma, dude. Its helps ya in some ways and kicks ya in the ar$e in others." His Holiness the Purple Pope, Grimwolf the First, on karma. He said this after he drove me home on seeing my neighbourhood, which is one of the richest in Whangarei. After I told him it wasn't perfect, he gave me this pearl of papal wisdom.

Shadow.

...Just Like A Stray. Same as last time, now open to everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5NAQBn7N_k&feature=related. As I've mentioned before, I lost my virginity listening to this song, so it'll forever be a special song to me.

Today was another sh*tty day of school. The only good part was when it rained so much we got a shortened lunchtime to half an hour (as we do when it rains) so we could go home at 3. Plus, after I talked to my mum she agreed to give me the money to replace my copy of A Northern Soul, but it's gonna be nigh on impossible to find.

When I got home, though, Mum (she gave me a ride) gave me an ultimatum. After Sharky died, his dad boxed up most of his stuff and gave it to me because he said he couldn't bear looking at it. Since then, I haven't been able to convince myself to open it, and they've sat in my closet for almost a year now. The only things I have touched were his two guitars, but since he was a lefty they're no use to me. My sister (she plays left handed) inherited his acoustic (which just happens to have a giant Playboy sticker), and I gave his cherry Gibson SG to charity because I couldn't bear it just sitting there. Mum said that I either need to open the boxes, or she takes them and puts them in storage with our other stuff. I decided that it was finally time to open them.

The first box was basically his entire CD and DVD collection. Since my CD collecton was way bigger than his, there wasn't much stuff that I didn't own. The only new CDs there were Mezmerize (System of a Down) which I have on my computer, Its Alive (Ramones), Vitalogy (Pearl Jam)Insecticide (Nirvana), Bossanova (Pixies) and Louder than Love (Soundgarden). I kept those with the rest of my CDs. All the ones I owned I just stuck in the box. I'll probably give them to my sister's mates who are Guitar Hero and Rock Band obsessives. What else can I do with them? Then I went through the DVDs, where he does have more than me. While flicking through, I found a small box that was filled with blank DVDs. Mr S had left a note, saying this was all footage of us. The first one (I didn't get around to watching the rest) featured our old gang playing American Football against his and my cousins. One year about two years ago, we had managed to drag a large group of guys out to the States on one of our trips (As I'm sure I've mentioned, wherever we went in the States one of us had family, so any mates who could scrape together a plane ticket got to come). Flash, TJ, Brad, Jess and Caitlin (basically the whole crowd) managed to come, along with two of Sharky's older cousins on his mum's side (his mum's entire family lived in Oz, but since his dad's a black American the rest of his folks live out there) went out. While we were in Detroit (his birthplace), we met up with his cousin Andre, who plays football. After a little trash talk about whether football or league was real sport (his knowledge of league was less than our knowledge of football, although he'd once seen Australia play the US in a Mickey Mouse game in Ryan-land) we had a game, that apparently Mr S videoed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vewm5l-i-yw. For some reason, I can always imagine this song at a sporting event.

After some argument as to who plays where, we decided that Flash would have to play both offense and defense, as he's our biggest and fastest player (he played linebacker and offensive lineman), Brad would be safety, TJ would be reciever and my dad would play center. Then Sharky and I fought over who should play quarterback and who should be running back. In the end, the fact that he's a yard faster and three inches taller than me and that I can throw more accurately settled it. Meanwhile, Andre got a few of his boys together and we had a game. While our plays weren't exactly NFL level-most of them were bastardised league set plays plus a few old Michigan Wolverines plays Mr S had taught us from his days playing fullback for the Wolverines- the greater athleticism of our boys evened it up a bit and we didn't get utterly thrashed. I think the final score was something like 50-30, but we stopped keeping score. I got sacked three times, but all the football players said that if I was bigger and fitter, I could be a pretty good QB. But size has always been a weakness (or strength, if you see it that way) for me- even now I'm just 5"8' and about 55kg, although I could probably put on another inch or two.
After that, we played a game of league with them. Even after we ran through the rules and gave them exceptions, we carved them up. I've lost count of the number of tries we scored, although their big guys kept running over me to score for them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUZNXgIXM1c Who needs We Are The Champions when you have this? Freddie Mercury may be a legend, but SpongeBob...he's f*cking SpongeBob!

After that I flicked to the next DVD, which was one we had made featuring our Jackass parodies. Sharky had his d*ck fed to his pet snake, we replaced his dad with Flash one night to scare his stepmum, me and him once woke up his parents with our heavy metal alarm clock (basically me banging on drums and screaming, him playing guitar as loud as he could), TJ made papercuts between his fingers, Brad jumped a little girls' bike into Sharky's pool. Plus a few of our own, like the Human Bungee Rope which involved all of them acting as a bungee rope for me into the pool. Somehow, we convinced Jess to film it even though she thought the whole thing was stupid. We'd drunk too much to care. Then there was the Firework Up Your Ar$e, which had TJ trying to light a firework with a fart and us carrying every fire extinguisher we could. It failed. Then there was the Molotov Jump, which was Brad once again making a jump on his motorbike over our home-made Molotov cocktails.
As I watched all these, I realised something; I was laughing. At our idiocy (although even though everyone except Brad and the girls have left town, I could probably convince them to make a remake if they were drunk enough), sure, but mostly at the mateship there. I realised that while I miss Sharky, and I probably always will, I'm not mourning any more but I can now celebrate the good times we had. Finally, I think I'm at the "acceptance" stage of grief, ten months after the event.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjo5YyzHo2o Sharky's favourite song, for all of you.

I actually called Mr S just before I started blogging, and told him that I'd managed to open the first box. He was actually pretty surprised, but after he got over it we talked about the contents for a while (even after living in Australia for nearly fifteen years, he still believes football is better than league, although he concedes one day and Twenty20 cricket is way more interesting than baseball. I guess that's what playing pro football does to a guy) and then about stuff before the twins came on. Mike needed my advice.
"Shadow, I lost my virginity."
"Well good on ya. Maybe now you'll grow up a bit." And maybe one day the sky will turn green.
"No, I need some advice."
"Okay..."
"How do I keep it interesting?"
"You're telling me that you're bored of sex?"
"No, I want to keep my girlfriend excited."
"Okay." I then proceeded to teach him every sex game I know, and trust me I know a few. After ten minutes of me talking and him listening, I'm pretty sure I've blown his fourteen year old mind because he just said, "Bye" and hung up.

Okay, maybe I didn't teach him everything I know. I left out all the ones that require threesomes. There was one involving two guys, a chick as a dominatrix and whipped cream. You do the math. I'm not really into S&M (although black leather is kinky in any language) but I don't mind a little roleplay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKCv2qGMkF0 This used to be one of my favourite car songs, but now that my sister knows the words she feels a need to sing along every time. It's still one of the most beautiful songs ever IMO.

Anyway, that was the reason for this blog. Just to share a few Sharky anecdotes you may not have heard from him with you guys. As I continue opening the boxes, I trust there'll be more.

Thought Of The Blog: "Aaaaahhh...Flushing Meadows."-Homer Simpson, busting for a pi$s in New York. Oh for the good old days...where the Simpsons were good, Britney was hot, and oil was less than a dollar a litre (these days its more than $2). Good times...good times.

Shadow.

...So Hold Me. HP and Ryan aren't allowed to guess this one cause they both will know it.

Back to school today. The great 9 to 3 jail that takes wide eyed children then proceeds to suck their imagination and creativity dry to the point where by the time they graduate, they become mindless slaves to society. The few of us who slip through and refuse to conform are marginalised by both the powers and our peers.

Anyway, I'm going to do something I do very often, which is ignore Elmis. In this case, his wish for no lists. However, as I don't hate the guy I'll make this a short list, and one that is strictly biased so as to suppress some argument. With you guys though...the Chinese propaganda machine couldn't stop you guys from arguing over trivial matters.

But what list? I decided to make it my 10 favourite songs by a particular band one. Which band? Well, let's use the old shufle function on the computer. First band that comes up...The Used? Nah, no point since none of you will give a crap. Weezer? Perfect.

10 Favourite Weezer Songs

10) Perfect Situation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgR-l3fhygw

9) Buddy Holly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiIC5qcXeNU

My Name Is Jonas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbwI2-nJ0Tw

7) Photograph
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhXXqL3RMqs

6) Keep Fishin'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4mDIpYHxWY

5) El Scorcho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CEqVTWo4EI

4) Troublemaker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6YUyJJsN1A

3) Beverly Hills
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4iTyHItFwg

2) Pork and Beans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI

1) Say It Ain't So
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU7LZts87Zg

You know what? I feel like doing another one of these because there are so many awesome Weezer songs that missed out. And for anyone who notices that there were two Make Believe songs on there? I never used to like that album, but I do have to confess that it grows on you. In fact, its probably been replaced by Maladroit in my least favourite Weezer album status because once you get used to the big, glossy arena production, there's some of Rivers' best songwriting in a decade.

Let's pick another band at random...The Smiths? I only have one album. Smashing Pumpkins? Couldn't have picked it better.

10 Favourite Smashing Pumpkins Songs

10) Soma
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60J6HlvfePM

9) Zero
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJOGq5XTojo&feature=related

Today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHUd896Sur0&feature=related

7) Bullet With Butterfly Wings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxNX_PRqhCQ&feature=related

6) Siva
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNqlikchzAk&feature=related

5) Ava Adore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYnihTlVuzQ

4) Cherub Rock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1N_qX_r4Iw&feature=related

3) Geek U.S.A.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIJ9-QS6Sp4

2) Mayonaise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cECTX3mPu1o

1) 1979
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrivjzw0RlI

And it's not a mistake that most of the songs come from Siamese Dream, because that was by far and away their best work.

So why all the lists? Well, I couldn't review A Northern Soul because I fell in love with it at the same time I'd had a fight with my sister. When I went to take a pi$s, she stole the CD out of my player and flushed it down the toilet. Now its trashed. The worst part was that I'd forgotten to upload it to my computer, so now I have to buy the whole CD again and it's not exactly easy to find. Worst part? I screamed at my sister and told her I'd stick her head down the toilet, but then Mum showed up and gave ME a f*cking lecture! Can you f*cking believe that? I told her my CD was trashed, she just said you can buy it again. B*tch...no wonder I drink so much.

Anyway, better get down to my homework. The way the government can still control our minds even when we leave its jail.

Thought Of The Blog: "I wasn't sure whether these pants were beige. Then I figured it out. They're beige, mixed with the green of the inquisition!" Grand Inquisitor High Commodore of Witch Burning (yes, it's increased) Dr Ptimotes, BI (Bachelor of Inquisition), BWb (Bachelor of Witch Burning), MI (Master of Inquisition), PhD on the colour of his pants.

Shadow.

...And The Bored. So easy even my kid sister knows it. It's my favourite song by this band.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElemRKA9r1c. New single by a legend of alternative rock.

I'm not making this blog my big list, because I have other things to rant about. Firstly I'd like to talk about music videos.
It seems that since the advent of MTV, there have been two basic schools of thought with regards to music videos. The first is what I call the Hot Chick Theory. That is, just stick the band/artist in a room somewhere and have them perform with a bunch of hot girls dancing around them for four minutes. This theory was first popularised by 80s glam metal, and now it's used by every rap/hip hop artist. While it makes for great eye candy, it makes videos with the creativity of a tree stump. The second is what I call the Minimalist Theory. This kind of video generally just has the band/artist performing somewhere, maybe with a few distractions from the performance during the duller moments of the song or them in some exotic location. This $tyle came up during the grunge era and is used for 75% of rock videos today. In between these two schools of thought sits a not-insignificant grey area. This is where all the great, creative videos come from.

Part of the reason I reckon most modern rock videos fit into the second school is the general attitude of most rock bands these days towards videos. A lot of them seem to see music videos as merely another promotional tool rather than a chance to make a statement. Because, just as great films are like art, the great music videos are works of art in their own right. With the shift to the Minimalist school of thought or often simply not making videos full stop, bands lose a chance to both make an artistic ctatement that isn't necessarily musical and get the attention of a new audience. Whatever MTV's drawbacks, and it has a lot, without it the musical world would be much less diverse and varied. It may sound wierd since they mostly play MOR pop/rap/rock music, but think of all the other, small music cable channels that play metal, alternative, old school rap videos. I always find it ironic when dumb ar$e metalheads slag off MTV and then b*tch about everyone listening to sh*tty music these days. I'll bet if some of the metal bands started making really creative videos, you'd see them on MTV and you'd find a lot of 12 year old girls switching their allegiance from Fall Out Boy to Opeth.

Oh well. Have http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3ClCwcCvdQ, one of the great music videos of all time, on me.

I also got a new album today. I went in to Musicor to get a new wallet (a Nirvana one) since my last one fell off the boat in Fiji. Thankfully it only had $10 Fijian dollars in it, along with my drivers license, AA membership card, library card and Student ID card which can all be replaced. While I was there, I was just flicking through the shelves when I found an album I've wanted for ages but never found. The album is A Northern Soul by the Verve. Because it's back to school tomorrow I may not blog much for a while, but hopefully next time I do I can give you a review.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7w8y_VMFSY. A song from this album that I've loved for a long time.

I also had to get my kid sister's mate a birthday present, so in the end since she loves Hannah Montana I got her an old Britneyalbum. Funny, I remember that video as a kid for reasons that had nothing to do with the music. Ah, the good old days...when Britney was still hot and I was still a young, impressionable kid. Sweet. Speaking of Britney, I got a funny story to share. While we were in Fiji, we went for a day out to Denarau Island, which is one of the big tourist areas. Flash, but expensive as hell. Anyway we had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe there, where among other things (guitars that were autographed by Slash and Joe Walsh, some handwritten lyrics by Perry Farrell for Porno for Pyros to name two) were pairs of both Britney and Madonna's shoes. Apparently both of them have larger feet than me. We had a laugh at that, especially after we proved it when the manager took them out of the case so we could compare them. They were also bigger than Jess' shoes, but the fact that two female popstars, both of whom were once hot, had bigger feet than me was f*cking hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU Another cla$$ic (if extremely wierd) music video.

I also felt like talking gigs. You all heard my stories of the ETF concert, and right now once my phone recharges I'll get that False Start video on youtube. I also know that Dee and Lockedge are both seeing Radiohead in the near future. My advice for both of you? Ditch the seats and get floor tickets. If you can. Trust me on this one; a few days after the show, you won't remember every song they played, or everything about each performance. What you remember about gigs, and this isn't just me but everyone I've spoken to, is the atmosphere and the stuff that stands out. Let's take the Smashing Pumpkins/ Queens Of The Stone Age show I went to earlier this year, where I was in the mosh pit. I don't remember either of the setlists, but I do remember everyone screaming along to Millionaire, me and the big guy next to me trying to get dissed by Josh Homme by calling him a little b*tch, the (very) extended version of No One Knows. From the Pumpkins segment, I remember Corgan (in a rare moment of humanity) letting the crowd sing the first few lines of Today, the calls for Mayonaise, Cherub Rock and Disarm when he seemed set to lead us through all of Adore and Machina II without any SIamese Dream, his advice for us to buy more merchandise followed by the "shut up and play" call, which was followed by his reminder than "now I'm 41 I can do what I want." and my attempts at crowdsurfing during Bullet With Butterfly Wings. It's those sort of things you remember about shows, as I'm sure you both know. But the fact is, if you're in the seats you can't get that sort of atmosphere. With that, I give you Exhibit B: The Foo Fighters show I went to in May, where we were 20 rows back. It was a great show, but when you're so far back its impossible to enjoy it much and you begin to feel jealous of the people on the floor, who may be getting kicked and squashed but who are soaking up all the atmosphere. Sure, I remember some parts (Dave's introductions of all the band members and particularly the triangle solo and him banning Nate from doing a bass solo after that, the performances of Hey, Johnny Park! and X-Static during the encore cause they were so unexcepcted) but, even though they're my favourite band and I'd been waiting for it for months, when it comes to pure enjoyment I liked the SP/QotSA show more and the Escape The Fate show was miles ahead. Like I said last time, there is nothing like a small live show with maybe a thousand people and a rabid, fired up band. If you haven't been to a small show, go to one now. I don't care what you're doing, go. Put your volleyball training (Dee) to some real practical use. And try crowdsurfing; one of the greatest feelings I've ever felt is being carried through a crowd onto stage. I pulled it off once on Friday, headbanged in front of Craig for a few seconds before climbing up the amp and diving back into the crowd. It gives a rush only just short of sex or cocaine, and I don't do much coke. They say P (meth) is even better, but I'm not going there even though I got offered some at a party once. That sh*t's just too scary and way too addictive. I also would never do heroin for the same reason. Plus, I do enough drugs as it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H0BMfqFP9c One more great rock video. Great song too.

Thought Of The Blog: "I wish I was special, so very special." You can all guess where this one comes from. It's a thought I often have myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gskAeWgEExk. Close with what I personally think is the greatest rock video of all time. So awesome, in fact, that it was banned by almost everyone. The first time I saw it was on a UChoose40 episode that featured videos that were banned.

Shadow.

...Are Brown And Red. Nice easy title.

Bula, my friends! This is your favourite Shadow, coming to you from the cold and rainy climes of Whangarei, New Zealand, but who just returned from warm, sunny and beautiful Fiji yesterday and therefore I still have some of my holiday spirit. Let's have a song to that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hyoszso38E&feature=related Come on, there isn't a more appropriate song for this.

Before I talk about my holiday, I'd just like to say one thing.

A short while ago, I posted some pretty harsh comments on Dee's last blog. I'm not withdrawing them; they were how I felt then and how I feel now. If you think I've overstepped the line, well I really don't care. Dee's gotta learn that not everything Elmis and Lockedge say, despite the fact that between them they've forgotten more about music than he (or I) know, isn't gospel and he's gotta realise that his favourite band is not necessarily the best, or most important, or most influential band of the 90s, or the 00s. I hope Dee is big enough to realise how far he is off the mark here. Based on what I know about him, I think he is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOEFaxFhnzc Let's have a Radiohead cla$$ic that we all love to lighten the mood.

For those of you who haven't left in disgust and are plotting for my head (trust me, the plot that can work against me hasn't been devised), let me share you some of the details of my holiday in Fiji.

We left Auckland Airport Friday afternoon on an Air Pacific flight. Although the food was sh*t as usual (in my experience, Singapore Airlines are the only airline that make decent vegetarian plane meals. And I'm on their blacklist) the flight was smooth enough, and we landed in Nadi Airport at 7:30pm. There Mum, my sister and my step-dad took their rental car and drove to the hotel, but I stayed to meet TJ and Jess (who had managed to scrape the cost of a plane ticket) who came an hour later. From there, we picked up our car. Since we're all too young to get rental cars, we had managed to find an old friend of my Mum who runs a used car business in Nadi and sold us a beat up old Corolla for cheap. After the guy delivered the car to us at the airport, we had our first setback when we realised it was a manual. We'd assumed that Jess would do most of the driving and I'd do the navigating since I know the place, but she can't drive a manual and TJ is a danger to society behind the wheel. Guess who did everything. After a few issues with the gearshifts (I've only driven a manual a few times) I managed to get onto the open road. Then I realised the road is vaguely analogous to a lunar scape. Potholes and bumps every-bloody-where. Finally we made it to my great-aunt's place, where we'd be staying the next couple of nights and then take a boat out Sunday.

While we were there, we all helped with the sugarcane harvest, as the family cane farm is one of the biggest on the West Coast of Fiji. It would be even bigger but some land got seized in the 2000 coup, which is a history lesson best saved for later. TJ and my stepdad got into a contest to see who could cut the most cane in the shortest time. Me and Jess just watched and laughed when TJ tripped over his own shoes.

That night, the harvest had ended. When the harvest ends we generally burn what can't be sold. I got to fully indulge my pyromania. After that, we joined everyone for the yangona ceremony. Yangona is a drink made from mashing a root. You may know it as kava. I can't quite explain it; it's kind of a similiar feeling to alcohol and weed together. Unfortunately, I hate the taste so I only had a bit. After that, in our drugged state, all the boys (us and all the Fijian labourers) played rugby. I have a story about that which I'll save for later.

Then on Sunday morning, we all woke up and took our stuff out to the boat. Thankfully my uncle was driving, as my stepdad thought he'd have to and he's lousy with boats. After an hour, we reached the island where we got the traditional greeting, then headed to our bures. My parents had one to themselves, and all of us had to share. There came a problem when we realised that they had put two single beds, and one double bed. And our butler didn't come till Monday, so we couldn't sort that out. Right. We all agreed that my sister, being the youngest, should get a single bed. Unable to sort the impasse (neither of them wanted to share with me because I hog the sheets, and they didn't want to share either because TJ talks in his sleep, and Jess snores like a pig) we ended up flipping coins. The two that were the same got the double. Jess got tails, TJ got heads. I got tails. Right. I have to share a bed with the hottest girl I know, less than a month after we decided to be friends. This is gonna be wierd. Especially as you can cut the tension through the air with a chainsaw.

What else happened? To tell you the truth, not much. We occasionally hung out together like when we went surfing a couple of times, or when we got jetskis and crashed them all (actually that was just after I posted on some of your blogs) but most of the time TJ wanted to always be doing something, while me and Jess were happy to just hang out on the beach, watch the other tourists (and judge who gets who) and enjoy the liberal drinking laws of the resort. Fiji's drinking age is 21, but the resort will serve them to anyone who they say is OK. And when you own the island, well, you're OK. And they make a great Mojito. No Elmis, it's not a g@y drink. The Margaritas were also good, as were the Midoris and the house special, which consisted of vodka, Malibu, Midori and orange juice. One night we headed out to the mainland without anyone knowing (Seru, our butler, drove the boat) where we got TJ drunk on a bottle of Jack Daniels I'd stolen from the bar.. Because he saw all the black faces, he thought he was in the ghetto, an illusion furthered by one of my cousins whom I met and paid $10 to act like a gangsta with a gun (a BB gun) and the fact he saw me and Jess doing our p!mp-and-h0 act (I stick a feather in my cap and flash my fake diamonds, Jess just dresses like said h0). It was f*cking hilarious watching him yell "Don't shoot me! I don't wanna buy crack! I'm just a white honky passing through!" Once it looked like it may get risky, though, we pulled him away and used a council hose to make him sober up. Unfortunately I turned on the sprinklers at the same time, which started a bit of a mess I couldn't clean up because I didn't realise how I'd turned them on in the first place (it was a small foot switch by the hose). Eventually the cops came, and all three of us spent some time in the cell until Seru bailed us out.

Otherwise, not much. A lot of sun, sand, surf, drinking. A bit of sex but again the stories will come later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5ivZ-4DmPY Move over Marvin Gaye, this is the new ultimate sex jam song.

Enough storytelling. You asked for it, here it is. The 5 Most Awesome Gingers Of All Time. This list may be biased, but it is the truth.

5 Most Awesome Gingers Of All Time

5) Carrot Top

4) Paul "Fatty" Vautin

2)= Chuck Norris

2)= Josh Homme

and the greatest of them all is.....

1)= Milan

Surprised? You should be. But trust me, Milan is quite possibly either God himself, or if not, the Ginger God for sure. Yes, he is so awesome he even sits above Josh Homme. Don't believe me? Check out Milan's bebo (http://www.bebo.com/Justified-Narcissist) and his fan club page (http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=7130258509) for more proof. And if you don't know him now...come back to me after he stars in the most awesome movie ever made and records the second most awesome album ever made (most awesome will of course be mine) and then tell me I'm an idiot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK7Ai9dWrRQ Since I'm giving Milan props here, I thought it was only proper to use a great song from his favourite band.

Anyway, I haven't been totally idle. We returned to the country Friday (TJ and Jess left a few hours later for Brisbane) and arrived in Auckland at about midday. Then I picked up my tickets, after a bit of a search, for the Escape The Fate concert that night. Even though I got offered $80 for them on TradeMe, Mum said I could go and, well, I'm not selling the thrill of a live show in a small, intimate venue by a band I like and the chance to do some insane moshing for $80. I arrived at the concert at 7:15, then headed into the crowd and started talking to a guy from Christchurch with a mean ar$e mohawk about other shows we'd been to. He'd seen SP and QotSA in Christchurch a couple of days after they came to Auckland, and apparently QotSA rocked (which proved to me once and for all that Josh Homme had a bad night in Auckland, as he seemed flat and disinterested. Of course, they still rocked.) and SP were also decent, though not as good. They even got a performance of Geek U.S.A. with the solo, which is of course rare. Then his girlfriend and his mate showed up and since his mate was 18 I asked him to go get me some alcohol. With my $20, he came back with a four pack of Wild Turkey with cola. While I'm not usually that sweet for Wild Turkey (my dad loved the stuff before he quit) it goes well with cola. I managed to get through two bottles before the show started, and smuggled the other two in via the large pockets of my green khakis. I decided to wear them instead of my usual too-tight and too-short jeans for that reason. Then after we entered, I just spent some time drinking (and evading the staff) and talking to people. I met one other guy from Whangarei, who incidentally catches my bus so we talked and I hit on one of the girls who was with him. She must have been drunk cause she actually went along with it, and Kurt took a couple of photos of us making out. I don't normally like having my photo taken, but I was too drunk to notice. After that I left them and found a small space of my own, just as the opening band started. They were False Start, a local punk band who were actually bloody good. I didn't know any of their songs, but now I'm gonna buy their new album next week. During their second song, a circle opened in the mosh pit, and me being me I had to get involved. I went in and did my own dance (which involves a lot of head and arm movements that were made only have as cool by the fact I currently have shortish hair and I'm going for the fauxhawk look) before getting clothes-lined by two big guys. I then got my revenge when I saw them on the edge, so I ran into and bounced off a fat chick who I fought with later (Story coming up) before pinballing right into them just as the song ended. They glared at me for a second and I was a bit scared, before ultimately laughing and giving me a high five, therefore proving Shadow's Law 7B, Clause 1= If a little guy (i.e. me) can mosh with two guys of the same size or bigger and not only survive but get revenge, you have their instant respect. The rest of False Start's short performance (5 songs) was a high energy affair with a lot of moshing, pogoing and pinballing around the circle whenever I got dragged into it. Considering that most of the crowd were emos, it also proves Shadow's Law 7D= The belief that emos just stand around and don't get involved at shows is total, utter bullsh*t. I have a lot of laws, some of which I will publish when I can be f*cked. All the 7's relate to concerts.

The best part? Towards the end while I was on the edge of the circle and about to go back, I got an ar$e slap. I turned around and saw two girls; one blonde and one with pink hair. The pink hair girl smiled at me and gave me another slap. I grabbed her and pulled her in with me, and we danced together for about a minute before the end of the song, where we rejoined the mosh for a few seconds and she eventually started going for my nipples. Just for fun I grabbed her tit, and she squealed and went away. I didn't see her again until I felt my crotch being grabbed as False Start left the stage. She was beckoning me to the toilets. Knowing this would have to be good, I followed, with her still holding my crotch. This gained one or two stares and a lot of wolf whistles, but when we entered the boys toilet we saw it was filled with people doing everything from making out to a locked cubicle where two guys (apparently) were having sex. Before I could watch, she pulled my pants down and started taking me orally, and I don't mean as a medicine. By now I had also sobered up (four Wild Turkeys with cola and about half a beer does get me tipsy, but I recover quickly) and I realised that she was totally drunk, and also kind of hot in a Hayley Williams-sort of way. I just hoped I wasn't one of too many, because I've gone a year without picking anything up. She also had a tongue piercing, which made for kind of kinky oral. As her mouth rubbed up and down, her piercing against one of the veins, Kurt walked in and felt a need to take a photo of me getting blown. That's gonna be somewhere at school Monday...at least it might buy me a little respect. Eventually after giving me the longest blowjob I've ever had (I'd say about two minutes) she got up, spat into the urinal, and we started making out before she saw another guy and left. I didn't care; she probably ditched another guy for me. Leading into Shadow's Law 7F= At a good rock concert with a hardcore mosh pit, even the purest girl turns into a slut.

Eventually I staggered outside, headed for the bar where I found my mate who had earlier bought me the Wild Turkeys. He was happy to buy me a Heineken, but I didn't want anything stronger because I wanted to enjoy the show and because I didn't want to appear too drunk when Mum picked me up. Then Escape The Fate came on.

How good were they? Bloody good. I've only been to one other small (that is, not festival or arena) show before, and that was as a twelve year old in New York with my cousin to see a certain band called My Chemical Romance. If you guys have ever wondered why I love them so much, along with the fact that I'm Gerard Way's chief stalker (trust me, 12 year old girls are lousy stalkers cause they giggle and scream too much) does the fact that the first cocnert I ever went to was an MCR show explain it to you? Remember, it was a small arena because this is before that bloody I'm Not Okay song made them the poster children of emos everywhere. Anyway, trust me; there is nothing like a hardcore band with a sh*tload of energy like ETF playing to a load of crazy fans. While it started well, the second-last performance of the night, Guillotine, sealed it for me; I've never had this much fun at a show. Ever. That performance was bloody magic. They managed to follow it up with Situations, which was the only ETF song where I actually knew all the words, mostly because I remembered the Hot for Teacher-rip video of the song. Through the last "dying is your latest fashion" scream by the guitarist, Craig (lead singer) chucked his microphone to the other end of the crowd, then chucked his mike stand to us. I got hold of it, as did the fat chick who I had pinballed off earlier in the mosh and a couple of others. We fought over it for the whole two song encore (I've even forgotten what the songs were) and even at the end. Just as we all agreed that we'd fight all night if we had to, the tech guy came to us and said that unless we were willing to pay $400, he's taking it. We handed it over, but what they didn't realise was that I'd loosesned the part that holds the microphone and taken it off, then stuck it in my pocket. When I told them that, the other girl grabbed be and kicked me in the crotch. Then we started making out. And did so for five minutes until I got a text from Mum telling me that she'd parked up the road (the venue, the Transmission Room, was right in Auckland city) and to come. I left as we promised to meet at the Disturbed concert on September 9, which I just realised I can't go to because I have a f*cking Geography fieldtrip then! Oh well, I'll figure something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLZVp90CqHI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVEnd8kID8w
Here's a sampler of last nights show. I took one video that I'll upload to youtube ASAP. but since it was off my phone it'll be crap.

Thought Of The Blog: "I'm gonna keep the stand, even if I have to bite your fingers off." Crazy fat chick to me while we fought for the stand. As it turns out, she bit me twice but I still have all my fingers, although my left pointer still has bite marks.

Shadow.

...Indeed A Fool Am I. Throw in a nice easy one. If you don't know this, expect a visit from me late at night for your stupidity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WanLLnVixC4. Today I'm finding the funniest music videos I know and featuring them.

No one bothered to read my epically weird dream last blog, or so it seems. If you haven't read it yet, go to my last blog and read about it now. If anyone has any f*cking idea where it came from, please explain cause I'm still trying to figure it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4mDIpYHxWY. I know, 2 Weezer videos in one blog, but this one is too f*cking funny to miss.

Anyway, since I'm short on time, I thought I'd do one review. Flip a coin...Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces it is.

Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (Seether)

CONSISTENCY
Nothing too bad. There are a couple of obligatory standouts (Rise Above This is one of the most moving songs I've ever heard, and Fake It and Eyes Of The Devil are also excellent) but the bulk of the album is still pretty decent, if not quite as outstanding as the three mentioned tracks.
Score: 9/10

UNIQUE
Fails quite a bit. While the album is enjoyable, it is essentially just another post-grunge album which doesn't really deliver anything very different throughout, save the obligatory acoustic ballads. Shaun Morgan's lyrics, while personal and introspective, sound like he's following the Kurt Cobain Theory Of Writing Lyrics (damn it I have a lot of laws and theories to discuss. One blog in the future, I promise) word for word, which oftem makes them feel lest honest and sincere then they actually are. At least what it does, it does well. But a little innovation would have been nice.
Score: 5/10

EPIC
An album that may seem to have little going for it can still score through the roof in epic as long as I love it to bits. While FBINS doesn't quite go through the roof, it still scores higher than it has any right to. Why? Because somehow, this unassuming present from my Uncle manages to walk the line between enjoyable and cathartic like only a few albums can. While its flaws prevent a perfect 10, it still gets bloody close. I love it.
Score: 9.8/10

OVERALL
As I mentioned, I didn't expect much from this album, but I was wrong. Sure, it's derivative. Sure, it doesn't break any musical boundaries. But if I can listen to a particular album both when chilling AND angry and it has the same effect (to relax me), it works.
Score: 9/10

I think I may just have time to squeeze in one more. But first, here's a break from the funny vids for an example of this album's goodness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO2nqcN3EGg. If you can't feel for Shaun and his brother through this song and video, you are not capable of feeling.

Diorama (Silverchair)

CONSISTENCY
Not qutie there. The first half of the album seems somewhat confused, as the band tries to break from their grunge-influenced sound that they were known for to a more piano/string based sound, so at first it seems a little confused. Once they hit the fifth track, One Way Mule, the band finally hit their straps and deliver a strong set of songs, particularly the magical closer After All These Years. But the confusion of the first few tracks let them down.
Score: 7/10

UNIQUE
Through the roof. No one, and I mean no one, expected the grunge-obsessed teenagers that gave us Frogstomp and it's two mediocre successors to actually have a future, let alone mature to produce an album as far removed from what we knew of them as this. Mature is a word that can be used to describe the sound of Diorama, whether it be Daniel Johns' voice and lyrics (which both sound like the work of a man rather than a boy) or the wide range of genres covered. I haven't heard an album quite like this, and I can imagine most of you haven't either.
Score: 11/10

EPIC
I gotta admit, I enjoyed Frogstomp. While it sounded excessively like a Nirvana/Pearl Jam tribute, the exuberance and obvious talent of the band managed to overshadow this. But by Neon Ballroom, I got bored. Diorama woke me back up. While the awkward first few tracks prevented me from truly enjoying the album, it's really nice to see a band truly evolve in the way Silverchair have with Diorama. While I don't own Young Modern and I'd thought Straight Lines (which is high on my favourite song list) was an exception rather than the rule of Silverchair in the 2000s, I now know I was wrong. If your perception of Silverchair is a Pearl Jam ripoff (Dee), get this album now. Even if not, get it anyway.
Score: 9.2/10

OVERALL
Diorama is an album I never thought Silverchair had in them. It's their first true artistic statement, and also their grandest, most operatic...most mature album yet. Uncle Raj, you never let me down.
Score: 9.8/10. That puts it inside my top 10 albums as of now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vTmrKTHdZE. An example of the awesomeness of this album.

Anyway, this will be my last blog for a week or so, because tomorrow we drive down to Auckland, and leave for Fiji in the afternoon. A week of sun, sand, surf and mates. Doesn't get much better in Shadow's book. A beer would be nice, but since Fiji doesn't enforce its drinking age I reckon I could buy some from any shop, or I'll get TJ to do it cause he looks 18.

So anyway, enjoy yourselves without me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BieVgyrfglQ. This is also one of my favourite songs.

Thought Of The Blog: "You're an inspiration to all of us! For all of us who weren't born with brains, or charm, or good looks." Some random fat dumb ugly guy to Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler) in The Waterboy. One of my all time favourite movies.

Shadow.