Science Fiction is well known for its ability to spur the imagination. Who amongst us has never thought of the possibilities of genetic engineering or the convenience of a teleporter to eliminate our daily commute? Not many, I'd wager.

Sci-Fi is really about two things; the technology, and the adventure. What would Star Trek be without holodecks, transporters, or phasers? Less interesting, and less engaging, that's what. The wonder of what tomorrow might bring is the greatest part of sci-fi's appeal, as it always has been, even back to the days of Leonardo DaVinci. Alright, he's not really sci-fi, but many of his principles and ideas weren't fully realized for many centuries. I'd call that sci-fi, however loosely.

Anyways, this week's topic is Sci-Fi Movies and I'm sure, as always, I'll miss some, so be sure to tell me so.

Bottom 5

5) A.I. – If ever you were Steven Spielberg and you wanted to know how you could possibly kick dirt all over your otherwise sterling reputation, you'd need look no farther than here. A.I. is not a bad idea, it's just a tremendously boring movie plagued with more unrealized potential than the PS3. The story of a discarded child robot and his quest to find a stable home could have been touching, if it wasn't so stupid.

4) The Running Man – Often forgotten in the filmography of Governor Schwarzenegger is this late 80's film about a falsely accused military man, his imprisonment, and his eventual turn over to a corporal punishment game show called, appropriately, The Running Man. As Ahnold runs through the labyrinth trying to find a way out, he must avoid ridiculously themed (to say nothing of dressed) gladiators who attempt to kill him with such deadly instruments as hockey pucks, lightbright go-carts, and flamethrowers (hey, one of them was bound to be decent… ). Throw in some cheesy music and you have yourself a crappy movie whose only saving grace was the appearance of Richard Dawson as the show's host.

One of the terrifying hunters of The Running Man.

3) Planet of the Apes (2001) – Far be it from me to suggest anything negative about Charlton Heston's great 60's sci-fi epic, The Planet of the Apes. Mark Walberg's effort at a remake is a different story all together. While the story is basically similar and the movie isn't completely, eye gougingly terrible, several things make this movie awful.

1. The EXTREMELY awkward romance subplot between Walberg and one of the chimp-like apes. Very creepy
2. The appearance of said chimp-like ape. Again, very creepy.
3. The worst offender, however, is the revamped and ruined ending where Walberg returns to Earth only to find it populated by apes, and the ever popular "Ape Lincoln" monument. No word on how adjusting the future would impact the past, but try not to think about it too hard, the movie isn't worth the effort.

2) Battlefield Earth – I'll just bet that L. Ron Hubbard was rolling over in his grave when this travesty was released. The only decent thing he ever wrote, turned into a crummy 90 minute film by one of his biggest devotees. I mean, the book was very long, and somehow, none of it made it into the film other than some basic concepts.

In any case, the movie was terrible in its own right, due to awful acting, terrible character design, laughable motives, an awful resolution, and sickening camera angles. It defies reason that such a film could ever be released.

Yes, an actual scene from the movie. Yes, you could produce better in your backyard.

1) Waterworld – What do you get when you cross a terrible actor with a ridiculous assumption? A movie that could never possibly occur unless aliens dumped another ocean's worth of water on Earth. Unlike any other "post apocalyptic" film ever, this movie has NO redeeming qualities. From its hack of a "star" to its third rate tertiary actors to its bizarrely stupid premise to its awful settings and even to its preposterous villains, this movie is one of the worst movies ever made (to say nothing of its placement at the very bottom of the sci-fi heap).

If this isn't quality acting, I'm not sure what is.

Honorable Mentions: The Matrix Reloaded, Species

Top 5

5) Pitch Black – Anti-heroes are a little bit more uncommon in sci-fi than they are in other genres. As a result, the idea has more legs here than, say, in an action or mob movie. This is a slick hybrid sci-fi that blends horror, survivor, and science fiction elements into an exciting package. Vin Diesel is not nearly as dull as in some other movies, *coughxXxcoughcough* and the story, while not spectacular, is entertaining and serves its purpose well. Plus, it spawned the great sequel; The Chronicles of Riddick.

The protagonist, Mr. Riddick.

4) Wrath of Khan – I'm a pretty big fan of Star Trek up until the end of The Next Generation stuff. As a result, I've watched Khan about a dozen times over the years, and it just never seems to get old. The most gritty and real Star Trek ever made, it features many themes that will never again be seen in a meaningful Star Trek, including a main character's death (remember, I said a MEANINGFUL Star Trek).

Here we see Captain Kirk...err...Actually, I'm not exactly sure what's going on in this scene...

3) The Matrix – Obviously, it's been nearly run into the ground now, but when it was released, it was a fantastic movie (still is) full of wild ideas not yet brought to the cinema and outrageous action sequences all couched in a believable storyline with plausible and very human characters. The sequels, on the other hand should never have been made. Featuring new filming techniques and a sort of cyber-punk feel, it is, again, rather unique as far as its subgenre goes, in that it's actually a good movie.

2) Alien – I really don't have to say much about this one. In its heyday, the most terrifying sci-fi movie ever, combining all of the best features of sci-fi with all of the best features of horror (including my personal favorite which is absence of main antagonist from sight) into a serious contender for #1 on this list. In fact, it should probably be there, but my enormous bias won't allow it.

The first, actually scary movie monster, in my opinion.

1) Star Wars: A New Hope – Some of you may argue that this is Space Opera rather than Science Fiction, but I call that splitting hairs. NO other sci-fi movie was ever as influential and eventually successful as this one. Possibly the most entertaining movie I've ever seen, all of the symptoms of a perfect sci-fi movie are here (as outlined at the top). Are there problems with the movie? Sure, quite a few actually. But the spirit of the film, the groundwork it lays, the story it tells, and the delightful characters it introduces you too make it #1 in my book. Too good to pass up!

Honorable Mentions: The Empire Strikes Back, Jurassic Park

Okay, that's it for this episode. Tune in next time, if I get time to write another.....

Okay, so, some notable events over the past week that I thought I might fill you in on.

First, my birthday was on the 21st. It was a rather casual affair this year with some Eternal Sonata with my daughter in the morning, followed by lunch at a Tex Mex restaurant I enjoy. After lunch, we saw Get Smart, which was very good, but not quite great and then visited my folks house where we had dinner and talked for a while. So, like I said, pretty casual deal this year, but I'm 28 now, so it's hardly like Chuck E. Cheese is in the cards for me

Secondly, my 10th Wedding Anniversary was yesterday. Since it was Wednesday, there wasn't much time for celebration. In fact, it amounted to Chinese Food and a bottle of Chilean Wine. Our real anniversary celebration will be coming in January when I'll be on this:

for a week. Not this exact one, of course, but we'll be booking this weekend so I'll update with a picture of the real ship later. We're both pretty excited about the prospect because neither of us has been on a cruise before, nor have we been on a ship bigger than an old replica steamship, so it should be good times.

We're planning to go through the Western Caribbean and perhaps stopping in Grand Cayman, Cozumel, or the Virgin Islands. Anyone with cruise experience that has advice, PLEASE SHARE IT!!

Also, worthy of some note, is that I've now been on my job for 3 weeks and I'm really starting to enjoy it.

New Top and Bottom 5 coming next week.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for entertainment purposes only. PLEASE do not take this seriously. If it offends you, I can respect that, but kindly ask you to leave without commenting. Thank you.

Being a Christian can be hard work. Lots of rules to follow, grey areas to avoid, potluck dinners to show up to….and the rules can change based on how you read them. Not that I mind, of course, or I wouldn't be one.

Of all the applicable rules and laws Christians must (try to) follow, the 10 Commandments are the most solid and easily defined. For those who don't know, the 10 Commandments are the bedrock laws of the Judeo-Christian tradition that are believed to have been handed down by God to Moses on top of Mt. Sinai.

But I digress, as I'm not here to teach you religion or religious history. What I am here to do, is to try to measure how these 10 Commandments rank in order of best to worst (for utility purposes). And once again, please note, this is for entertainment purposes only. I'm not being serious and I'm intentionally misinterpreting some of them for entertainment purposes.

So how DO they stack up against each other, you ask? Read on…

Top 5

5) Remember the Sabbath Day and Keep it Holy

Translation: Free day every Sunday (or Saturday if you're Jewish). Wife want you to mow the lawn? Sorry, dear, it's the Sabbath, and I'm not allowed to work. Boss need you for an overdue project? Sorry, boss, I can't work due to my religious beliefs.

The perfect excuse to enjoy a lazy weekend afternoon!

4) Thou Shalt Have No Other gods Before Me.

Okay, so imagine you're an immortal, all powerful, all knowing being who created all of existence. You'd be pissed too if some jerk off decided to worship a metal cow. I totally understand this one.

3) Thou Shall Not Steal

Golden rule number 2. Don't take other people's stuff as it makes you a jackass. This one is a pretty well accepted tenant of civilization, so I don't think many model citizens (as I know we all are ) have a problem with this one.

2) Honor Thy Father and Mother

As a kid, this one seems unfair, but as a parent, oh man is it sweet!

Sonny boy doesn't want to clean his room? "Oh, I guess you'll just have to suffer the eternal torments of Hell because you're too busy to listen to God."

Apple of your eye daughter arguing with you? "Well, you can take up your debate with Satan soon and see how he feels about it, unless of course you'd rather just follow God's law and go to Heaven…."

This one goes from near the bottom to near the top, just based on what stage of life you're in.

1) Thou Shall Not Murder

Even on a joke list, I can't find any reason not to put Golden Rule number 1 in the top slot. After all, who wants to be murdered? Do YOU? I didn't think so. That makes this one tops.

Bottom 5

5) Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.

The ultimate kill joy commandment. All those polygamous souls out there were crushed to hear this one. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I have a problem with cheating on my wife, but even thinking lustful thoughts can trigger this commandment, according to some interpretations. Sheesh, if any commandment is sending me to Hell, it's the latter interpretation of this one.

4) Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Stuff (paraphrasing).

So, your neighbor get a new Big Screen TV? New Corvette? New butler or maid??? Better be careful just how jealously you desire those things, or this commandment will have your ass. So when you see your neighbor re-tarring his roof, you'd better not think to yourself, "Oh man, I want that re-tarred roof SO BAD!!!" or else you'll be wallpapering Satan's powder room before you know it.

3) Thou Shalt Not Lie.

Okay, so if I can't lie, just how am I supposed to get myself out of trouble?

"Sure thing boss, I'll get right on it!"

"Yes dear, of course I'll walk the dog."

"But officer, I swear I thought she was 18!"

Well, I'm pretty sure I've never used the last one, but you get the idea. If I'm going to end up in trouble, lieing is the only sure fire way out, as any self respecting man will tell you.

2) Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife.

Currently, this one's easy for me. I don't work with anyone who has a hot wife, don't live near anyone who has a hot wife, don't go to church with anyone who has a hot wife, and I'm not attracted to the hot guy who lives next door…..I swear I'm not!

Such an easy trap for us human rats to fall for though. Better be careful where you….er….step, or you might be in for a nasty surprise that isn't Chlamydia for once.

1) Do Not Use the Lord's Name In Vain.

Surely you must be asking why this one is at number one (or 10, depending on how you look at it). The answer is quite simple really. It's the most misinterpreted commandment.

Everyone knows you aren't supposed to roll with "Holy S---!" or "God D--- It!!", but what is often missed is that you aren't supposed to swear by God's name either. That's right, you're not supposed to say things like "I swear to God that I didn't steal those cookies!" or "Shut up back there or I'll drive us off the next cliff we come to, so help me God!".

So I guess what I'm getting at is, next time you go to buy a new car, don't put God down as a co-signer. He won't do that anymore, since Jesus burned him on a Ferrari loan a few years back.

Okay, there you go. Hope I didn't offend anyone and that everyone took this in the spirit it was intended. Have a great week and sorry for being so late with this entry! 3KR

Editor's Note: Upon rereading, I've noticed that the segment on Adultery contains very vague wording that could be interpreted two ways.

This: "Don't get me wrong, it's not like I have a problem with cheating on my wife"

Should be read thusly: It's not like I ever cheat on my wife, so this isn't a problem for me.

This note brought to you by Randy's desire to not be horribly executed by his wife.

As some of you know, I've been on my new job a little longer than a week now. I'm enjoying it so far, it provides lots of challenges and much more authority and free thinking than my previous job, but there's just one problem.

Meetings. I'm in them constantly! Argh! How does any work ever get done??? Not that they're unproductive, just so many and so long...

Not much of a blog post, so here's a picture of a red panda, as a treat for reading my inanity.

Sorry you bothered to read my venting. I'll have a new Top and Bottom 5 later this week. This one is going to be controversial, I'm sure of it!

3KR

What makes a villain great? Is it motive? Ability? Ruthlessness? A mix of all these and more, I say. Nothing is more intriguing than a well made antagonist who can really play counterpoint to a well made hero. Games that manage this, are almost always great. Games that don't? Well, they can be very good too, but usually require excellence in almost all other areas.

So the question becomes, who doesn't enjoy a great villain? I'll tell you who. Only the souless, that's who!!! So for those of you reading with souls intact, this list is for you. Those of you without souls (I'm glancing in your direction Ron ), well, you could read too, I guess.

Obviously, this list contains spoilers, but the only terribly huge spoiler would be regarding Jade Empire. The rest would be motive related spoilers. With that in mind, we march on.

Bottom 5

5) Graham Cray, Suikoden IV

Talk about your villains with strange motives. His only purpose through everything he does appears to be to regain the Rune of Punishment just so he can see his son again through it's bizarre visions. At the very least, it is a motive, but he's poorly acted, poorly designed, easy to defeat, has no personality, and doesn't really fit all that well into the story. Odd choice, on the design staff's part to make him the main villain with so little explanation as to who he is and why he's doing what he's doing. Not to mention the lack of information on his actual goals.

Terrifying, isn't he?

4) Count Waltz, Eternal Sonata

As good as I found Eternal Sonata, Count Waltz really bugged me. He has the cl@ssically stupid motivation of "I just feel like being an ass". From his efforts to militarize his whole population through subterfuge, to his designs on attacking his neighbors for no apparent reason other than land lust (what a boring motive), to his whiny little kid voice, he never inspires the fear (from a gameplay perspective, of course) that a really well done villain can create. And his final attempt to stop you makes so little sense...

"Sink hours into my game and then feel unfulfilled when you beat me! Mwahahahaaa!!"

3) Seymour Guado, Final Fantasy X

And here we have the villain with no definable traits what-so-ever. Powerful? Nope. Dangerous? Nah. Cunning? Not so much. He's just like a really annoying stray cat; always around to bother you, no matter how many times you try to run him over. Another villain with a poor job of voice acting who, despite some great setup for the character, pulls off no sense of control over any situation. At his best, he's a petulant child. Actually, he's a lot like Anakin from my last blog...

"Hmm, where's the next ill timed place I could show up to aggravate everyone with my poor speaking skills?"

2) Nene, Blue Dragon

Okay, so Blue Dragon had lots of problems outside of Nene, but he was quite a glaring low point in the game. Another villain with nothing but the most silly of motivations; being evil for the sake of being evil. It's the most unrealistic motivation going with nothing of misguided altruism or greedy self interest to speak of. He's everything that's wrong with RPG villains.

I don't really need to say anything here, do I?

1) Darth Nihilus, Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords

First of all, let me say, I really loved Darth Nihilus personally. That being said, he makes an absolutely terrible villain. You spend the whole game hearing about how horribly powerful he is and how he brings all other force users to their knees and none can stand up to him and then, when you finally confront him, you get a lame excuse as to why he's unable to affect you with ANY of his powers, despite the fact that every other frigging sith in the game can. A great character design with an interesting backstory, and an awesome modulated voice can't save this do nothing villain who literally does NOTHING in the game. A shame really because he could have easily have made my best list if he wasn't so anti-climactic.

So much wasted potential...

Top 5

5) Dark Force, Phantasy Star Series

The only case where evil for the sake of evil is a viable motivation is when your main antagonist is a concentrated spectre of evil. Dark Force pops up again and again throughout the PS series, but it's never a drudgery to fight, like Seymour is. Malevolant, focused, and supremely powerful, Dark Force is a villain too few of us got to experience. It uses proxies and patsies to pester you for the most part while still pursuing it's overarching goal; the destruction of order. Almost like fighting an avatar of satan.

Dark Force, in one of it's more cl@ssical forms.

4) Sun Li, Jade Empire

The Glorious Strategist, Sun Li is divisive, cunning, ruthless, and brilliant. A well thought out character with a well presented story who posesses the kind of long range thinking investors dream about. And to top it all off, he's a kung fu master! How cool is that?

3) Saren Arterius, Mass Effect

Saren is an interesting character. On the one hand, he's cold, calculating, and ruthless, but on the other hand, he sees himself as a hero trying to save the galaxy through his methods of instituting subservience amongst the populace. Survival through service and serfdom rather than extinction. And the best thing about him is that you can see his point. He's not necessarily wrong. He's not tremendously hard to beat in battle, or all that well designed visually, but his personality, motivation, and exceptional voice acting make up all that defecit and much, much more.

You try being the sole bearer of the knowledge of the impending doom of the galaxy and see if you look as good.

2) Bishop, Suikoden 3

Yes, I realize he has a name, but I know at least one person who reads this blog is in the midst of playing S3, so I shan't be mentioning it. Bishop is a character very much like Saren. He see's the impending doom (in a way) of life on his planet and sets out to stop it the only way he can think of. In effect, he's kind of a reverse Saren, wanting extinction before slavery and servtitude. He's a very likable villain as well as you can clearly see he cares for at least one of his compatriots, and it adds a very human element to a group of characters we rarely see such things from. To top it all off, he's one of the best boss battles in all of Suikoden.

"I tried to destroy the world today. What did you do?"

1) Jon Irenicus, Baldur's Gate 2

The ultimate villain that so unfortunately few of you have experienced. As a young man, Irenicus was expelled from his homeland for attempting to drain the earth itself of enough power to become a god. Now there are motives, and then there are MOTIVES, and this is definitely a MOTIVE. Self serving in the extreme, his only desire is for power and vengenance against the perceived unjust punishment he received at the hands of his people and he'll stop at nothing to get either. And when you finally kill him, he drags you down to hell with him where you must kill him again. Did I mention he's the most powerful magic user in the entire Dungeons and Dragons universe?

Alright, so it's not the most intimidating picture, but you'll have to trust me, he's quite a villain.

So there you have it. I'm sure I'll have ruffled some feathers over not including someone's favorite or some such, but this is my story and I'm sticking to it, as they say.

As none of you know, my wife and I have recently been considering expanind our family by adoption. Well, after a good long time of working at it, we finally brought home a beautiful baby girl with us last tuesday. She's 8 weeks old and was abandoned by her mother just after birth. She didn't come to us with a name, so I convinced my wife that Lilly (yes, after the Lilly in Suikoden 3, I know, I'm a terrible person) would be a grand name for her. Now, I can't imagine this causing a ruckus with anyone here, but Lilly is black (for those who don't know, I'm not).

So, I give to you the new little girl in my life: 3KingdomsLilly

Edit: Stupid glitchspot, pictures still below.

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What, were you expecting something else?