The Transformers conjures up childhood memories of watching cartoons and playing with the toys. At that time, you typically were either a G.I. Joe kid or a Transformer kid. I was easily a Transformer kid. This year they released a highly anticipated movie that had as many hits as it did misses. On the hit side, the special affects and story were pretty well done and it was nice having the original voices for the primary Transformer characters. On the miss side, the voices weren’t robotic enough, the characters were given mouths and in some cases teeth, the classic forms were changed, and worst of all, some of the classic lines were utterly misused. The movie was enjoyable, but irksome at times. If only the game were half as good as the movie.

The graphics of the Transformers is done exceptionally well. Models are crisp, clear, and very life like. The buildings and Transformers both are to scale and fit the scenery whether it’s in the desert or in the inner city. The backdrops look good and the use of smoke and explosions add to the game. Simply put, the Transformers is a beautiful game to look at.

The sound in the game is about average. The music is never noteworthy, but doesn’t detract from the game either. The explosions, laser shots are all dead on. The Voice Over work is done well and tends to fit the story. Unfortunately, the one thing that most players expect from a Transformer, the transforming sound, isn’t even close to what one would expect and is the one glaring omission from the game. People unfamiliar with the Transformers probably won’t notice the lack of the transformation sound, but die hard fans will have a hard time looking past it.

The game play is horrible. Simply put it’s bad, bad, and more bad. Camera angles are constantly going awry leaving the player viewing the backside of a building instead of their character. In addition, many of the side missions occur in ‘zones’, which are areas that player must stay in. These side missions end up being nigh impossible to complete due to the character constantly being thrown out. Instead of being challenging, or fun, the side missions are typically an exercise in frustration. There isn’t much to fighting. Each character has a weak and strong gun attack (ranged) and a single melee attack. This results in a lot of pointless button mashing. Even transforming isn’t fun as the only way characters can transform is when they are standing. Want to run, jump, and then transform? Then you’re out of luck.

The story is short and pretty much follows that of the movie. There are several side missions; unfortunately they don’t add anything to the story. If you have seen the movie, then you pretty much know everything you need to know about the game’s story. Overall the Transformers game is like a beautiful dumb blond, great to look at, but not someone that you would want to try carry on a conversation with.

Even die hard fans will be hard pressed to find the game worthwhile. If you want to buy the game, turn it on, and have a pretty back drop, then the game might be worth a buy. Or if you find that your life is peaceful and that the stress level is a little too low then by all means buy the game and get that stress level back up to heart attack levels. This game isn’t even worth a rent. If you are at all curious about the game, then do yourself a favor and wait to try the demo from XBox Live. You will save yourself the heartache of throwing away your hard earned cash on a game that isn’t even worthy of the classification of ‘game’.