Torture in disguise.
The basic premise of Transformers: The Game (henceforth abbreviated T: TG) involves two interstellar robot factions at war over a life-giving device called the AllSpark. The Autobots are the self-professed good guys sworn to protect humanity from the destructive greed of the Decepticons in this mad race to acquire said plot device. Along the way, buildings will be leveled, cutscenes will be played, and many a wireless controller will be broken in disgust, for there are many points in the story campaign that will cause the most patient gamer to scream in frustration. Why, you ask? Let us share our woe.
At its heart, T: TG is a third-person action game of equal parts Crackdown and MechAssault. On paper, merging expansive environs with heated robotic combat is a sound concept, but in execution it’s more of a failed experiment. For starters, the deceptively open levels are immediately constrained by arbitrary mission timers and nebulous “action zones” that force you to stay put. Should you stray too far from the task at hand, you have mere seconds to return to the designated area or you fail the mission. Add to that a rigid linear mission structure that runs the gamut from painfully easy to blisteringly difficult, and you’ve got yourself a game that tries too hard to be challenging. So while you’re racing across town to rescue Sam Witwicky from the clutches of a Decepticon hit squad, there’s little room for error while dodging heavy traffic and firing off salvos of painfully inadequate munitions.
Strangely, the lumbering metal giants in T: TG are swift capable pugilists armed with glorified champagne poppers. While an errant shot from your cannon might destroy an entire city block in one hit, it usually does little more than scuff the paint off an adversary. Most of the time you’ll be hammering on the melee attack button to pull off three-move combos. When that doesn’t work, you’ll grab the closest object (be it a light pole, bus, or compact sedan) and hurl it through the air to stun your opponent…and then follow it up with the same three-move combo. You’ll race to locations, fight other robots, then race somewhere else, destroy some objects, then drive somewhere else, pick up a few collectible items on the way, and then initiate the next frustrating task, usually while under the constant threat of failure as a pointless timer ticks away in the corner. Shoddy collision issues will hang up your Transformer on scenery as gangs of ruthless Decepticons hammer you repeatedly into the ground. Get familiar with that “mission failed” screen, because you’ll be seeing it a lot. But don’t expect to jump right back into the action. Instead, you’ll be forced to drive halfway across the world to find the hotspot that triggers the event. After skipping a few more cutscenes and staring at loading screen text, you’ll get your chance to fail miserably again until you get it right. Over and over again.
Not everything about the game is terrible, thankfully. From the highly detailed and expertly animated character models to the wild and plentiful explosions, the sights to be seen in T: TG will make your eyes smile even as your lips are curled in disgust. And the story, which is typical sci-fi boilerplate, is brought to life by competent voice acting and thrilling sound effects. Perhaps that’s why Transformers: The Game is such a disappointment—the source material and underlying gameplay concepts ooze potential, yet the final product feels imbalanced and rushed. You’re not playing through a story but merely performing repetitive tasks to trigger the next movie. Couple that with a spastic camera, sluggish and nonsensical controls, and criminal overuse of needless timers and you’re left with a $60 torture device. Oh yeah, and the game has no online component.
So while diehard completists might be inclined to pick up every collectible to unlock every art pack and side mission, most folks will rip through the Autobot and Decepticon campaigns in a day for some modest Achievement points and call it quits. Everyone else should steer clear, as this poor excuse for a licensed tie-in appeals only to sadists.
Highs: Big robots and bigger explosions; spiffy graphics; it’s short
Lows: Bad camera; sluggish controls; needless timers and “action zones” force you through an unforgiving and ultra-linear experience; punishing difficulty in certain missions will cause needless frustration; no online (or offline) multiplayer or co-op
Verdict: Transformers: The Game is a textbook example of a licensed game done wrong. While it’s pretty to look at and exhibits rare moments of charm, it often devolves into an exercise in frustration and wasted potential.
Originally published at GWN.com