'Transformers' is as much fun as bare-knuckle boxing with a blindfold on. It's also just as challenging.
Synapsis: You alone, firetruck transformer, are given the task to take out the entire bad-guy army. This includes orange tennis balls, crazy icesleds, and that drunken wasp that can't aim. If the enemy touches you, you die. If one of their shots hits you, you die. If you play this game, you are going to die. A lot.
"Why bother playing it?" you ask. Well, it's challenging. Are you gonna let some game get the better of you?
For a game based on transforming robots, there isn't an awful lot of transforming needed. It's required that you transform into the firetruck* for the last level to squeeze through a crevace. But otherwise, it's just helpful.
*I think it's a firetruck; it makes more sense than an 18-wheelers with a mounted canon.
The music alone makes me want to put a bullet in my head. It's 3 or 4 sterile notes repeated every 5 seconds throughout the entire game.
Most of the levels are left-to-right, but there are a few up-to-down, and down-to-up as well. (Very original.) I hope you like fighting the bad-guy's logo, because there's 3 or 4 bosses of it! (No kidding aside, there are 3 bosses of a giant floating purple logo.) Also, I'm pretty sure the last boss of the game is the good-guy T-Rex, but maybe the designers decided it would be 'creative'.
Well, it takes a couple hours to beat this game, and this is the crappy ending, before the game restarts:
Kinkyu Shire! Destoron Ga Aratana Chikara De Yori Kyouryokuni Yomigaetta. 'Rodimus' No Enerugon-Kyuba Wo Tori Futatabi Destoron Wo Gekiha Seyo. Scramble! Ultramagnus!
(I didn't bother collecting all the letters, so that's what that means..)