If a game has a spelling mistake in its title, you know it's the beginning of the end.

User Rating: 2.5 | The Pharaoh's Curse C64
Gameplay: 3
Graphics: 4
Sounds: 2
Value: 4
Tilt: 1
Actual score: 2.6

I'm going to cut straight to the chase here – Pharaoh's Curse is nothing more than a debacle mess of a game, if you can call it a game as games are meant to be enjoyable. Yes, there's no 'positive phrasing', no 'could been' or 'potential'; this is the apex of what not to do to a game. And if you don't believe me, check out the cover as it's got a spelling mistake as it reads 'The Pharoah's Curse'. What does that tell you about this game (and I'm referring to the Atari version and not the C64)? One word - crap.

So the plot is you are a treasure hunter and discovered the tomb of the pharaoh. Sealed for over three centuries, it was deemed as a mysterious death trap (whatever). It's rumoured to have treasures beyond your imagination and some other fancy words that supposed to entice you. The pyramid has finally opened up however beware of the ghastly guardian mummy and the pharaoh that roams randomly throughout this tomb. Sounds great aye?

So it plays as a platform game – you jump, shoot, run and climb through many screens of untold fun. There are in total sixteen treasures to collect and some areas are locked thus requires a key. You know when you got the key as you 'begin to rhythmically pulsate' – that was a direct quote from the manual by the way. Enemies range from some entity that I cannot describe that rises from the ground to the 'avenger' (a stupid bird that picks you up with its 'sharp talons' and drops you elsewhere), the mummy that friggin shoots bullets at you and if that's not bad enough, the almighty pharaoh, the tomb you are raiding, makes a cameo appearance that also shoot bullets or some kind of projectile.

The game at times tries to be tricky as some sections you cannot reach other than exploring about a million levels only to go back to the same point, however, at the part where you cannot reach previously. Yet because this game is so stupid in many ways, you can literally do a massive jump to those parts and the ways to do this is by simply run and jump whilst pressing the trigger button. What it does it confuses the game so you practically jump / run / shoot all at once thus complete a mega jump. And if you do this correctly, you can easily cover almost half of the screen. And if that's not bad enough, if you happen to collide to the side of a building, you will literally merge into the building thus simply climb up to those 'hard to reach' places.

Graphically the game is a sight for sore eyes as all the characters look like stick figures – that is heavily pixelated. Also the environs like Egyptian symbols, platforms, buildings and other stuff all look meagre with poorly chosen colours to match. Seriously I have seen much better games during that time than this random mess. And the sounds…what in hades was that opening score? And what the f**k was that occasional 'bang bang' noise that symbolises a pharaoh appearing out of nowhere accompanied with that 'unique Egyptian musical sound' is simply a joke without a punch line. Look, the Atari system has four sound channels – use them.

To complete the game you need to collect sixteen treasures and each treasure you'll collect grants you an extra life. And for extra excitement there are three difficulty levels to truly complete the game. And the only way to enter the higher levels is by completing the prior level thus obtaining the secret password (as the higher levels are locked - oh the suspense of it all). And if that's not bad enough, when you get all the passwords, the word that's spelt out borders on pathetic. I have only done this one and that's enough for me.

So as you can imagine, this game is hopeless in every sense of the word. I know many will disagree however, and this is the honest truth, every time I think of this game, I want to throw up three times over. Just typing this is makes me want to heave. And why am I drafting this review is in hope that I never, ever have to think about this game again. However I don't think it will be the case as I got the Pharaoh's Curse – the game that refuses to die in my mind. Now if you excuse me I need to heave again…