I can't believe what I just purchased...
For starters, the game is extremely detailed and polished to a point that makes a gamer wonder if Zelda has truly reached visual perfection. High Dynamic Range is a feature that I found to be a very attractive feature for Zelda's new installment, especially since the console(s) it's being played on isn't quite known for its graphical abilities. Animations are smooth, especially in Wii version, although response time is a little slower. Sounds good so far? Is your mouth watering with temptation? Well get a napkin! It's rude to salivate in front of people! Anyway, I haven't gotten to the gritty detail as to why this game isn't satisfying and is only a shell of its former greatness.
As I've mentioned before, gameplay is smooth, although not as responsive as the Gamecube version. The new gameplay features, as revolutionary to the series as they are, aren't as appealing or satisfying as one would expect it to be. The most important feature in Links new quest is fighting on horseback. Sure, slashing the crap out of orcish cohorts of Zant on Epona, Links trusty stead, may seem to make the game more interesting, but it ends up being just as tedious and annoying as fighting on foot. When I think about it, battles on horseback did make fighting easier, although you can just run away from your enemies. The only true way you can have fun fighting on horseback is when you're forced by the game to fight certain enemies that are also riding exotic and just plain unusual creatures. Other than these battles, just wave your Wii-mote (or click the Right Trigger on your Gamecube) and your enemies will be nothing more than sliced pastrami ( yo! stop drooling) Ahem...If you have played the game Shadow of the Colossus, a game that allowed the player to be more dynamic with the horse he/she is controlling, you would expect TP to be more fun and innovative with these battles, but like I said before, it's nothing different from on foot battles.
Another major feature in TP is playing as links wolf form. This feature serves some divine purposes, but other than that, this feature was totally uncalled for and overall not necessary. What I mean by divine purposes, I mean seeing ghosts that on certain occasions give information, tracking scents (although there are very few scents to be tracked), and digging holes and finding ruppes! Woo-Hoo! We are saved! Not quite. Overall, being the wolf isn't as fun as one would hope (unless you have a fetish for gimmicks that improve NOTHING!)
Some minor aspects of the gameplay that were satisfying were the weapons in Links arsenal. The standard Hyrulain Shield and Master Sword make their triumphant returns to the series, as they are staples in the Zelda universe, but not before using the ever-so-horrible wooden crap sword given to Link by the father of some sissy character who's name I shan't mention. The boomerang is also present, and it looks pretty sweet. New suits that are evolutions of OOT's red and blue tunics now look and perform in more sensible fashions. For example, in OOT, blue tunic represented and allowed the player to swim underwater for longer periods of time, but it was just blue with no thought or creativity put into it. In TP, the tunic that allows longer periods of underwater combat/ exploration includes flippers, a shorter hat, and makes Link perform and resemble the famous Zora race. New weapons such as this huge mace on a chain that Link can pull out of nowhere, a spinning top that allows Link to reach certain areas in dungeons that he can't reach without, a device that calls Epona (although it was given to freaking late in the game!), and the famous bow, with no magical arrows (although you can attach bombs to them and makes shooting fun) Speaking of Bombs, there are now three types of Bombs to deal with. The standard bomb Link has be using for generation after generation, a bomb that can be used underwater (which is a HUGE aid in the water temple) and these huge bug-like creatures that explode when provoked by an attack or walking by it not meaning it any harm. Not to mention you get to control a hawk! Omg, right? Well, this feature is okay at best. Let's just say that the weapons are both hit and miss and the same time.
Time for the story! Sit back and Uncle Toaster_Cell is gonna spin you a yarn that will make you scratch your heads in disbelief. After the events of OOT and MM, Link is finally resting his spirits in some random town called Oodon village. He learns how to ride Epona, because for some reason he forgot again, but this is for the player to familiarize him or herself with the new controls. He learns to fish, swim, save people, blah, blah blah. Midna enters the mix, with her cocky and nonchalant demeanor. She makes the story somewhat enjoyable, and she does help alot gameplay-wise, so there isn't much to say negatively about her. Gorons also return, and you get to sumo-wrestle them! Can I get a w00t w00t?! They play minor roles in the early stages of the game, however their IQs' increased surprisingly. Link goes through temples; most of them are deja vus and been there done thats, and some are just there to break up the repetitiveness and bland designs of the temples before, although there architectures of these temples are also boring and bland. You fight the bosses, all of them are easy, and I mean easy. So easy a newborn chimpanzee can beat them with relative ease. Even the final bosses are easy. You would expect the developers to put challenges in these enemies. Oh well. I won't go into any more detail, but I will go on to say that the verdict of the story is lame. LAME LAME LAME LAME! Oh, and LAME!
Is TP worth the purchase, despite my harsh rant on how its overwhelming flaws cover some fun and enjoyable features? If you truly love Zelda and you want to see what Link has to offer, than go ahead. If you care about a new, revolutionary game that redefines the Zelda series, than you are barking up the wrong tree, buddy. I am only here to give you a unbiased account from a pretty strong Zelda fan. Good luck, and please, stop drolling.